Bof
17th Jan 2006, 21:08
Someone passed me this today. Thought it rather appropriate with news of the army being called on yet again to fulfil anothe twenty jobs!
Message allegedly left on an Army Air Corps telephone answering machine:
“Thank you for calling the Army Air Corps. I’m sorry, but all our units are out at the moment .Please leave a message with your country, name of organisation, the region,
the specific crisis involved, and a number we can contact you at. When we have finished sorting out Kosovo, Bosnia, Macedonia, Serbia, Iraq, Northern Ireland, Sierra Leone, the Congo, marching up and down on bits of tarmac in London and compulsory Health and Safety at Work training, we will return your call.
Please speak after the tone, or, if you require more options, listen to the following numbers:-
· If your crisis is small and close to the sea, press 1 for the Fleet Air Arm.
· If your concern is distant, in a tropical climate, with good hotels, and can be solved by one or two low-risk bombing runs, press 2 for the Royal Air Force. [ Please note this service is not available after 1630, or on Bank Holidays , or weekends.
· If your enquiry concerns a situation that can be resolved by a warship, some bunting and flags, a damn good cocktail party and a first class marching band, please write, giving six months notice, to :- The First Sea Lord, The Royal Navy, London.
Message allegedly left on an Army Air Corps telephone answering machine:
“Thank you for calling the Army Air Corps. I’m sorry, but all our units are out at the moment .Please leave a message with your country, name of organisation, the region,
the specific crisis involved, and a number we can contact you at. When we have finished sorting out Kosovo, Bosnia, Macedonia, Serbia, Iraq, Northern Ireland, Sierra Leone, the Congo, marching up and down on bits of tarmac in London and compulsory Health and Safety at Work training, we will return your call.
Please speak after the tone, or, if you require more options, listen to the following numbers:-
· If your crisis is small and close to the sea, press 1 for the Fleet Air Arm.
· If your concern is distant, in a tropical climate, with good hotels, and can be solved by one or two low-risk bombing runs, press 2 for the Royal Air Force. [ Please note this service is not available after 1630, or on Bank Holidays , or weekends.
· If your enquiry concerns a situation that can be resolved by a warship, some bunting and flags, a damn good cocktail party and a first class marching band, please write, giving six months notice, to :- The First Sea Lord, The Royal Navy, London.