c-bert
19th Dec 2005, 10:19
Appologies if this has already been posted.
As a result of budget cuts, the Royal Navy has developed a scheme to reduce the number of high officers and ratings. This scheme will start on 1 January 2006.
Under the scheme, older personnel will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of the younger personnel who
represent the future. The scheme has been designed to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year.
This initial phase will be known as the Serviceman Late-Aged Scheme (SLAP). Personnel who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the Navy.
To assist them, SLAPPED personnel can request a review of their personnel records before retirement takes place. This phase of the
scheme is called the Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers (SCREW).
All personnel who have been SLAPPED or SCREWED may file an appeal with their chain of command with final authority at the Command level. This procedure will be called the Study by Higher Authority Following Termination (SHAFT).
Under the terms of the scheme, personnel may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, and SHAFTED as many times as the Navy deems appropriate.
Personnel who follow the above procedures will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump-sum Assistance Payment), unless he/she already has AIDS (Additional Income From Dependants or Spouse).
As HERPES and CLAP are considered to be benefit plans, any Sailor who has HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the Navy.
The Navy wishes to assure the younger personnel who remain in service that the Royal Navy will continue its policy of training through the Special High Intensity Training (****) Scheme.
The Royal Navy takes pride in the amount of **** its personnel receive, and is proud to announce that our personnel get personnel get more **** than any either the Army or the Royal Air Force.
If any anyone feels they do not receive enough ****, they should report this at once to their immediate supervisor.
YOUR SUPERVISOR IS SPECIALLY TRAINED TO MAKE SURE YOU RECEIVE ALL THE **** YOU CAN STAND.
As a result of budget cuts, the Royal Navy has developed a scheme to reduce the number of high officers and ratings. This scheme will start on 1 January 2006.
Under the scheme, older personnel will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of the younger personnel who
represent the future. The scheme has been designed to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year.
This initial phase will be known as the Serviceman Late-Aged Scheme (SLAP). Personnel who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the Navy.
To assist them, SLAPPED personnel can request a review of their personnel records before retirement takes place. This phase of the
scheme is called the Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers (SCREW).
All personnel who have been SLAPPED or SCREWED may file an appeal with their chain of command with final authority at the Command level. This procedure will be called the Study by Higher Authority Following Termination (SHAFT).
Under the terms of the scheme, personnel may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, and SHAFTED as many times as the Navy deems appropriate.
Personnel who follow the above procedures will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump-sum Assistance Payment), unless he/she already has AIDS (Additional Income From Dependants or Spouse).
As HERPES and CLAP are considered to be benefit plans, any Sailor who has HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the Navy.
The Navy wishes to assure the younger personnel who remain in service that the Royal Navy will continue its policy of training through the Special High Intensity Training (****) Scheme.
The Royal Navy takes pride in the amount of **** its personnel receive, and is proud to announce that our personnel get personnel get more **** than any either the Army or the Royal Air Force.
If any anyone feels they do not receive enough ****, they should report this at once to their immediate supervisor.
YOUR SUPERVISOR IS SPECIALLY TRAINED TO MAKE SURE YOU RECEIVE ALL THE **** YOU CAN STAND.