View Full Version : Christmas Parcel - contents?
airborne_artist
29th Nov 2005, 15:33
A good mate of mine has just left for six months in the sandy, rocky place.
Clearly I need to send him a Christmas parcel to entertain and educate him during the long hours when the rest of us are partying.
So apart from a copy of G*y Times and a feather boa, what should I send him?
Professor Plum
29th Nov 2005, 15:52
And perhaps a poster to adorn the inside of his tented accomodation...
http://www.garethcliff.com/cm_pics/heard_on_air/1275-0-0-0_214597.jpg
Wyler
29th Nov 2005, 15:53
Pork Scratchings, Hot Chile Sauce (small bottle), English Mustard, (Squeezy Tube), Marmalade (thick sort), comfy slippers and a festive spank mag (plus sock).
brakedwell
29th Nov 2005, 16:52
A business class ticket to BZN?
Talking Radalt
29th Nov 2005, 22:00
Large bottle of "Shampoo" ;)
santiago15
29th Nov 2005, 22:30
AA,
You can't beat some English tea bags: you get given US sh*te out there. Not that your allowed to send booze but, if you did, a CAN of Gordon's G+T always goes down well out there.
vortexadminman
29th Nov 2005, 23:22
cleary must be, wank mag, booze in some sort or disguise,twiglets,tea bags our ones,phots of pubs he will be visiting on return, and the ultimate a kebab about two weeks old
Just think about what you couldn't do without over there..... The hottest chilli/curry sauce (just because it goes further) that money can buy, the odd christmas treat (choccy) and the most depraved "Johnny Vaughn" money can buy.
Don't forget to tailor the "Johnny" to the recievers tastes..... For instance Cavalry Officers prefer a "horse based publication", Loadies mostly like the "hairy" and Marines tend to enjoy anything. Easiest to buy for are FJ mates, they prefer either a photo of themselves or a mirror.
Charlie Luncher
30th Nov 2005, 09:02
Pork pies like the little six pack you get from M&S are good to trade with the locals at this festive time :E
Charlie sends
Whirlygig
30th Nov 2005, 09:07
Large bottle of "Shampoo"
Well, it's better than Real poo :E :yuk: ;)
Cheers
Whirls
Gainesy
30th Nov 2005, 11:12
"Mouthwash" is also good.:)
Talking Radalt
30th Nov 2005, 12:45
Marines tend to enjoy anything
Hmmm, surely they must take their own roll mats with them on det? :E
Huron Topp
30th Nov 2005, 16:27
"Mouthwash" is also good.
Yea, and amber/gold rhum looks surprisingly like Listerine. Heck of alot easier than cleaning a shampoo bottle. You can NEVER get the soapy taste out!:yuk:
Onan the Clumsy
30th Nov 2005, 16:51
and the ultimate a kebab preferably a badly wrapped one?
plans123
30th Nov 2005, 16:52
Got to be some Cadburys milk choc, Glop mag, soap, tabasco, xmas cracker and a santa hat - its just not christmas without the stupid santa hat.
The three Ms (Marmite, Maltesers, and marmalade), comedy DVDs, tea bags and "mouthwash."
adr
Reminds me of a parcel I never received in the FI. Aunt sent fruit cake, toothpaste odds and sods, flown crab air as far as poss, dropped in oggin abeam grey funnel line, picked up and after separation for various seaborne units placed in another dry wrapper for onward transmission.
Nearly reached me but someone realised Atlantic Conveyor was sunk and thoughtfully re-addressed back to blighty! It hung around a while to catch northbound bateau and was finally delivered via MOD etc to the front door about the time I reached Stanley by bemused Postie deciphering various addresses.
Memsahib knowing AC sunk but not my whereabouts thought the worst - personal effects – opened now ripe parcel. After peeling back the fourth layer the sight of mixed cake, toothpaste and seawater was enough to gash it – pity really Auntie made a fine cake!!