Investors In Paintings !

[RileyDove]

The mandarins at Whitehall have invested 272K of our hard earned pounds in paintings to decorate the Mod corridors.
Described as 'inspirational pictures' - clearly using the cash on some 'inspirational groundcrew' to occupy RAF airfields didn't come within the terms of reference!
However why oh why didn't the Mod allow for a painting or photography competition within the forces to let the talents of it's
men and women come to the fore. I guess in this politically correct age it was too risky to allow for the possibility of 'Sunset over St Mawgan' or 'St Athan Blues' !

[airborne_artist]

photography competition

Given that the RN and RAF have photographic sections (all those small buttons a bit complex for the Green Machine) it's pathetic that they didn't have a Service competition and glean some PR and free pics from it...

[BEagle]

There must be thousands of 'inspirational paintings' in store somewhere from the hundreds of RAF stations which have closed over the years.

So why not dust off a few of those?

Who on earth sanctioned £272000 of the tax payers' money to decorate the corridors of the mad MoD box?

I really hope the tabloids get hold of this and press for a full explanation.....:mad:

[Melchett01]

The mandarins at Whitehall have invested 272K of our hard earned pounds in paintings to decorate the Mod corridors.

Described as 'inspirational pictures'

Well in a moment of boredom, I've managed to find some other inspirational art work, that cost approximately £271985 less than the MOD stumped up. Think I could get a Gems award? Personally I think these are some of the best pieces of art I've ever seen

http://www.nalc1414.org/images/preggersvictory.jpg

http://www.nalc1414.org/images/uppity_broads.jpg

And my personal favourite .....
http://www.nalc1414.org/images/tony_bum_snort%20copy.JPG

Best I go and mop up the cup of coffee I spilt when I found these
:E:E :E :E :E

[RileyDove]

BEagle - the broadsheets are using the story. I hate to think what the Sun would do with it! I guess a picture of a corridor
with a old master on the wall just to get the point across would be their first attempt! It really is completely amazing how the Mod and government seem to almost live now on leaks .
Does nobody vet these decisions!

[Safety_Helmut]

Riley

I suspect that the kind of W@nker who makes these kind of decisions does not have many people above them to vet their actions. The press has made much of the NHS doing similar, and generally the decisions are made at the highest levels.

T*ssers !

Safety_Helmut

[Incipient Sinner]

I'm sure therre are plenty of people out there willing to make their images available. All a lot more suitable than the high priced tatt they end up using. Here's my efforts:

http://tinypic.com/fwln6a.jpg

http://tinypic.com/fwlmk8.jpg

[BEagle]

Nice piccies!

How much body armour would £272000 buy?

[Twonston Pickle]

There are some cracking pictures already in the MOD library. If they were looking for something "inspirational" then you couldn't get much better than a bloody battle scene a la Waterloo, Nelson's Victory, B of B etc. Or is that too un-PC and focuses too much on conflict/colonial past etc etc?!!!!!!!!!!! The freaks are indeed running the circus that is called the MOD. Next thing you know, we'll be painting the inside of Warriors pink to calm the soldiers down.

[plans123]

Just think, with that money, the lads living in the run down barrack blocks could have hot water, decent heating, the list is endless.
Watched a program on Sky recently on UK prisons and the next day I went into a barrack block, Oh to be at Her Majesties Pleasure.

Does this not smack slightly of a certain Air Staff Officer spending budget money that wasn't his to decorate his official home, to the detriment of new kitchens etc for airmans married quarters?:rolleyes:

[airborne_artist]

Could RileyDove provide a reference for this info. I'll happily pester my MP and the Shadow Defence guys.

[vecvechookattack]

Who was the senior RAF Officer who spent a fortune on his new carpet - Dubbed "Front room First"?

[FOMere2eternity]

Plans,

You're absolutely right - I'm amazed the media hasn't made more of the 'Lads in Squalor' story because it's widespread and blatent example of lack of investment - and this is at their HOME BASE! (...not the DIY store). The principle cause for the difference in conditions is that prisoners are better represented and their rights outweigh the regular-waived tenant's rights of, particularly, the junior ranks.

The MoD is a fantastic example of reverse funding where the end product - the forces - doesn't receive enough money because everyone else on the way creams off their percentage. Fine for a car factory but a little more dangerous for a countries' military, especially when we're getting shot at.

That anyone associated with the under-funded and sorely stretched MoD can spend £272k on PAINTINGS demonstrates the dires straits we're in, when the people they are 'in support of' can't get hot water, heating, proper kit, aircraft spares...the list goes on.

:mad:

[plans123]

As much as I hate the tabloid press (Journo's have a half life of a thousand years you know) I really feel that this is a story they should get a grip of and shake until something happens.

It stinks - Main Building has had so much money thrown at it during the 're-fit' that it now beggars belief that they waste money on paintings that they don't need.

What next? Tai Chi guru's on a grand a week for morning excercise of the staff?

Egon Roney to run the staff canteen?

Get some of these buggers to spend some time in a barrack block and then they may realise why the junior ranks are so pissed off with the squalor they live in. In fact I've seen run down council estates in better nick than some barrack blocks.

[bowly]

PHP]In fact I've seen run down council estates in better nick than some barrack blocks.[/PHP]

And prisons........

[RileyDove]

Airbourne Artist - Daily Telegraph - Saturday last. I am sure they have an online resource.

[airborne_artist]

Cheers, RD.

From the DT "David Davies, the Conservative MP for Monmouth, who was given the figures in a written answer, said: "While the Government are trying to plug the black hole of the Treasury's budget deficit, they're also making sure their walls are nicely lined with expensive drawings."", so I guess it's been done already.

Stinks, though...

[Set Me Free]

So, any Senior O's on here want to defend or justify this absolute waste of money?......

Thought not.

[Data-Lynx]

From the Telegraph on 18 Nov 05, Duncan Gardham reported that (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/11/18/nart18.xml) The department spent £272,600 on eight new paintings by two British-born artists for its refurbished headquarters as part of what a spokesman called "defence diplomacy". The Home Office revealed yesterday that it has spent £150,000 on art for its new building, while the Government Art Collection spent £295,500, mostly for embassies abroad. The MoD has been heavily criticised for overspending on major projects and running out of vital equipment for the Armed Forces in Iraq and elsewhere. The department has recently renovated its central London headquarters at a cost of £350 million. A spokesman for the Ministry of Defence Art Collection said the artists, Zil Hoque, 43, who lives in South London, and Louise Cattrell, 48, from Birmingham, were asked to reflect the idea that the MoD was a "force for good in the 21st century". The public is unlikely to see the works due to "difficulties with security access".
From Hansard: David Davies asked a question about Departmental Spending on 3 Nov 05(column 1260W) (http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200506/cmhansrd/cm051103/text/51103w07.htm#column_1260) for the Secretary of State for Defence to itemise the works of art bought in 2004–05; and what the cost of each was. Don Touhig, Under Secretary of State for Defence and Minister for Veterans, offered a written reply that: The sum of £232,000, excluding VAT, was spent on works of art, as part of the Ministry of Defence Main Building Redevelopment programme during 2004–05. In a supplementary question on 16 Nov 05 (column 1240W) David Davies asked for an itemised list and Don Touhig responded The works of art purchased during 2004–05 were a set of four paintings by Zil Hoque—"Nimbus I, II, III, IV"—the set having a cost of £160,000, excluding VAT, and a set of four paintings by Louise Cattrell—"Eyrie, Aerial, Tempest and Keep"—this set having a cost of £72,000, excluding VAT.

[teeteringhead]

Well here's (http://www.art.mod.uk/picture_pages/zil.htm) one of the nimbuss (nimbi??) and decription so you can judge its worth for yourselves.....:rolleyes:

[FOMere2eternity]

The lads in several blocks can see similar images on their mildew-infested ablutions for free!

I really can't find the words to describe how angry I am that the comfortable self-serving establishment, designed to support the people defending this country, have evolved into such resource-sponging leeches. It's all well and good David Davis asking a question for an embarrassing answer but who is held to account? Had I spent £1000 on the lads block without authority I'd be for the high jump, so what happens to people who waste money like this to feather their own nest?

(seems I did find the words...)

Somebody told me last week an airman at BZZ is having to fund his own MRI scan because the Service won't fund 'things like that'. Pity he didn't ask for a Rembrandt...

[jindabyne]

And yet a Judicial Review leading to a (possibly unsuccessful) MoD re-examination of the Mull of Kintyre Chinook accident is said to need £20-30K of private funding. Disgraceful from all angles.

[oldfella]

What sort of world do these people live in. Someone comes up with the idea to buy these bits. Lots of meetings to make decisions and approve budgets etc. Isn't there one person in authority who can just say bo****ks to it and ask them to justify the expense?

[RubiC Cube]

You must remember that these paintings are desparately needed to replace the valuable ones that have gone missing from MOD offices over the last decade or so. Another scandal that seems to have died away.

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

http://www.art.mod.uk/images/newsnimbus1.jpg

'A sense of massed energy - ready to leap into action but constrained by disciplined training and the political environment'

Bollocks

I see a pole dancer with diarrhoea, and is that an old man's knob, top right?



Or maybe Camilla P-B swinging naked from a chandelier...and an old man\'s knob, top right.



Maggie Thatcher, her parachute has failed, all her clothes are ripped off, she's come through the roof of my tent.

[Otis Spunkmeyer]

Jennifer Lopez on a skateboard

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

Mrs Depardieu indicating to her husband that the placenta is in the frying pan

[Otis Spunkmeyer]

Jayne Mansfield surrenders after the third lobster popped back out again

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

Maze Prison Christmas Panto - 1982

Swan Lake

[Archimedes]

SPHL, may I ask why you've posted an image from an endoscope examination?

From what I can dimly recall of spending far too much time with a medical student in a previous life, I'd hazard a guess that the image is taken from someone suffering from an excess of fat near the duodenum.

[Zoom]

vecvec
Sandy Wilson, I believe.

What's wrong with the usual photos of jets, tanks, boats, etc taken by in-house photographers that tell you something tangible about HM Armed Forces? And I think we've all seen a lot of very good photography and artwork posted on this and other aviation/military websites. I have to honest, Nimbus hasn't inspired me to do anything yet - except to check the toilet pan tomorrow morning for anything similar.

[unclenelli]

Anyone hear about the 2-star that got trapped in the bogs?

He was on a tour of run-down barrack blocks, but no one told him there was no handle on the inside of the door ('push' to go in, and 'errrr, well try this, err no, well I'm stuck now' to come out)

Was like that in Jan 2005 - and it's still like that now


TIP OF THE DAY
put your pinky in the hole where the handle should be, then pull

[Data-Lynx]

And as he peered into the bowl, I wonder what he might have thought about Aerial by Louise Cattrell?

http://www.art.mod.uk/images/aerial.jpg

[Otis Spunkmeyer]

Data-Lynx, you heathen, that's clearly upside down


Another for the 'Nimbus' picture

Chung-Li unconsciously crossed her legs as she heard the familiar sound of Gary Glitter's moped.



http://www.art.mod.uk/images/zil-thumb.jpg

Here we see a couple of important people enjoying the painting. I feel that I will have achieved something if that picture gets a nickname.

Zil Hoque is having a joke here, by the way.

'A sense of massed energy - ready to leap into action but constrained by disciplined training and the political environment'

This is clearly a play on 'Lions led by Donkeys'

Not only has he played a clever joke, he's took £40,000 for it!

Louise Cattrell is also having a joke, but the joke is that her kid did it in playschool.

[airborne_artist]

'A sense of massed energy - ready to leap into action but constrained by disciplined training and the political environment'

More like 'Send three and fourpence, despite the fact that we've lent our body armour to someone else, and the lawyers will be watching every round that falls, making sure a local non-combatent's family can get in a huge claim for expenses while waiting for the murder trial'

[tonkabloke]

This seems especially crazy considering the RAF's new baby at Marham the "pulse line" which has had no heating in the hangar for the past 2 weeks. And with no fore-seeable estimate for the repair, moral is even lower in the 2nd rate Air force we work in now days.

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

airborne artist

I don't want to join in the body armour debate. I prefer to fight naked.

tonka bloke

Phone up your Health & Safety people. I dread to think how cold it is for you out there in the sticks.



http://www.art.mod.uk/images/newsnimbus1.jpg

The Charge of the Light Brigade
Lady Lucan has them under starters orders, when her horse is shot from underneath her.


and another...

Leslie Crowther regretted not wearing his safety belt in his Rolls Royce, as he left his 'Crackerjack' on the hood ornament.

[Data-Lynx]

We could have had the following three from Louise Cattrell at £3K each and the chippy (shipwright to lubbers) could have had a go at the frames.

http://www.axisweb.org/works/screen/B071/980309AU.jpg Crawick, (http://www.axisweb.org/works/full/B071/980309AU.jpg)
http://www.axisweb.org/works/screen/B071/980309AV.jpg Martinmas, (http://www.axisweb.org/works/full/B071/980309AU.jpg)
http://www.axisweb.org/works/screen/B071/980309AW.jpg Lammas. (http://www.axisweb.org/works/full/B071/980309AW.jpg)
Otis. Seriously disorientated so no idea which way is up.

[RileyDove]

Data-Lynx - I see a potent synergy of merging sea and sky highlighting the interaction of elements and vividly encompassing
the merged interaction of positive forces for good.

Or 'de- spinned' - the light blue bit looks like sky which can represent the RAF and the dark bit can be the Navy .


As for your heating Tonkabloke - sorry but your heating is never going to be a talking point at any Whitehall dinner party -spend the cash on the pictures instead!

[pr00ne]

I think they are all very nice and you folk are jolly lucky to have them and one day be able to aspire to pass down those nicely adorned corridors.



Hold on a sec!

£272,000 and they got more than one? Here's me thinking they had bought quality....................................................

Cheapskates!!

[Blacksheep]

RAF officers aren't noted for art appreciation; the paintings must be for the sailors and army chaps. When I was in Brats we nicked a load of art from Halton Officers Mess to decorate the senior entry dining room. No one in officialdom noticed until Orderly Officer's rounds the next evening.

In them days we still 'ad 'eatin in the barrack blocks but all the winders was left open so we'd benefit from the fresh air, like.
Really 'ard we was, back then. Fond of art too. They should put some of them pitchers in the barracks to make up fer the lack of 'eatin. Innit...?

[Kolibear]

Crawick?

Isn't that somewhere between Crawley & Gatwick?

[PPRuNeUser0211]

Not only 250 k on paintings, but 2 1/2 grand each on plasma tv's nice,

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005540584,,00.html

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

Blacksheep wrote:-
When I was in Brats

Were you an instructor then?


http://www.art.mod.uk/images/newsnimbus1.jpg

Fisherman,fisherman,home from the sea
Have you a lobster, you can give to me
etc etc

Look! There's the lobster in the dish...
And there's the missus, 'avin a pish!


I've got loads more, just tell me if I'm boring you, and I'll stop taking the malaria tablets

[Blacksheep]

Were you an instructor then?No, just a victim.
Those Halton DI and instructor stalwarts are responsible for what I am today.
A sly, crafty opportunist... :suspect:

"Through difficulties to the cinema"

[Rakshasa]

http://www.art.mod.uk/images/newsnimbus1.jpg


"It was going to be my Venus, but then I realised I couldn't paint.

Luckly, the MoD are fools." ~ Zil Hoque

http://www.art.mod.uk/images/aerial.jpg


\"Monet had catarachts. What\'s your excuse?\"

[An Teallach]

Can't remember the name of the quiz show they may watch on their plasma TVs, but:

Leslie Crowther: "Nimbuuuuus! Coil one down!"

[adr]

It's hard to criticise those paintings when all I've seen is a 0.4MB image on my pooter screen, but I don't hate them at sight.

But then, I have been known to go round Tate Modern of my own free will, and on one visit I laughed aloud only twice.

adr

[STANDTO]

does anyone want to buy one of mine? they cost a lot less than that

[BEagle]

"I see a pole dancer with diarrhoea...."

Awful concept - but you're absolutely right!

How can the mad MoD-box inmates have any excuse for squandering money in such a profligate way on such daubs.

And as for their plasma TVs, it would be fair enough to have one or two in a conference room. But why not just enable TV access to the thousand of computers which they all have instead of buying so many screens.

Old mad Maggie once complained that she was fed up with getting intelligence quicker from the Torygraph than she did from her so-called experts. The MoD-box inmates, it seems, have to resort to watching TV to find out what's going on in the real world......

By the way - is 'pooter' some digi-yoof geekspeak word for computer?

[adr]

By the way - is 'pooter' some digi-yoof geekspeak word for computer?
Yes, it means computer. Well done! Like much slang, it's formed by contraction (the best known recently-coined example perhaps being 'rents' for parents -- I suspect this one also indicates a grudging acceptance of the financial relationship between parents and children).

By the way, is 'digi-yoof geekspeak' a phrase used by curmudgeonly, elderly folk to describe the neologisms of technically adept younger people who've grown up familiar with digital technology?

:cool:

adr

[BEagle]

It is a term used to describe the desecration of the English language by the ill-educated youth of today. Although I will concede that such geekspeak slang is preferable to the absurd 'txtmsgspk' used by teenage children which is creeping into their attempts at written communication.

But back to the pictures - they really are a scandalous waste of public money.

[FOMere2eternity]

A waste of money? Oh come on - they only probably cost a portion of a Nimrod wing and as 6 of them have been cancelled why waste money on wings for aircraft that don't exist?

As for wasting the money on employees' accommodation, that's hardly 'defence diplomacy' is it? Had they re-allocated the cash to more tedious things like bringing a block into the 20th [sic] century, surely they would be defrauding the tax payer by misappropriation?

Either way the MoD is compelled to keep one or two tanks, planes and ships, else they do themselves out of a job 'supporting' us don't they?

We need an independent body to sort these morons out because something is seriously wrong when the end product doesn't have kit, let alone lives in an unheated cell at home base !

[adr]

While I reserve judgement on the artistic merit of the paintings, the question still remains: even if they are worth what was paid for them, was it a good use of MOD funds?

On the one hand, the ill-thought-out application to public service bodies of a dogmatic market philosophy, that encourages them to behave as if they are large business corporations, makes it understandable that MOD Inc. should want to project a certain image at its corporate head office, and original works of art by British artists have their place in that image projection.

On the other hand, when many of the people who, when push comes to shove, will hazard their lives in the course of their duties are living in conditions not far from squalor (to say nothing of equipping people fully for their tasks), to spend £272,600 on paintings, however good they are, seems to me to betray some room for improvement in setting priorities.

adr

[Data-Lynx]

It is a something of a shame that MoD does not have something like this from the V Force days.
http://www.art.mod.uk/images/global.jpg