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tart1
7th Nov 2005, 16:18
I'm not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant plucker's son.
I'm only plucking pheasants,
'Til the pheasant plucker comes.

I know it's childish, but I find this particularly hilarious when I have had a drinkie or three.

Any other offers?? :}

pigboat
7th Nov 2005, 16:19
The Leith police releaseth us.

Biggles Flies Undone
7th Nov 2005, 16:20
Thirty thousand freckles on a speckled Thrush's throat :E

Nevil Sopwith
7th Nov 2005, 16:26
Mrs Hunt had a rough cut punt,
not a punt cut rough,
but a rough cut punt.

Farmer 1
7th Nov 2005, 16:27
Pigboat,

Delete releaseth, insert dismisseth.



Ronnie Barker, RIP, now he was a tongue twister extraordinaire.

Jerricho
7th Nov 2005, 16:28
Nevil, if I may expand a little to the version I know.

Tony Draper........this one's for you mate :ok:

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
Not a punt cut square,
Just a square cut punt.
It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

tart1
7th Nov 2005, 16:28
Oooh just thought of another:

the cat crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out again. :p



Was that Mike's mum Nevil?? :}

G-CPTN
7th Nov 2005, 16:32
Following "Cunning Stunts" (wasn't it Jane Fonda?), our teenage son announced he'd like a "Cnuter Stite" for his birthday before realising his spoonerism.

tony draper
7th Nov 2005, 16:36
Cecil was a thistle sifter,
Cecil's sister sifted thistles,
Were's the sifted thistles
Cecils sister sifted
:uhoh:

Jerricho
7th Nov 2005, 16:38
Six stick shifts stuck shut.

cessna l plate
7th Nov 2005, 16:43
Shut up the shutters
And sit in the shop

Ozzy
7th Nov 2005, 16:43
I saw a ship in sight

She sells sea shells on the sea shore

Darth Nigel
7th Nov 2005, 17:30
A flea and a fly in a flue
were imprisoned, what should they do?
"Let us flee", said the fly,
"Let us fly", said the flea,
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.


...and there's some rude song or other about a girl sitting on the beach shucking oysters or cockles or mussels or sommat, with the chorus
"She sits and shucks
she shucks and sits"
...and that's all of it I remember, 'cos the penalty for getting it wrong was to drink a dram of whisk(e)y. And then sing it again.
:ouch:

Airist
7th Nov 2005, 18:08
From the 1914-18 War:

"Sister Susie's sewing shirts for soldiers.
Such skill at sewing shirts my shy young sister Susie shows!
Some soldiers send epistles,
Say they'd sooner sleep on thistles
Than the saucy soft short shirts for soldiers sister Susie sews!"

Lon More
7th Nov 2005, 19:22
"Scheve Scheveningen schoenen"used during WWII to check if it really was a Dutch person'

I've got a tape somewhere with "The pheasant plucker's mate" on it (The Barrow Poets?)

mutiny
8th Nov 2005, 00:23
I don't know whether this has been done before - not quite tongue twisters, but very funny!

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ...

--------------------------------------------------------

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.

At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.

mutiny

planepsycho
8th Nov 2005, 00:26
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

BombayDuck
8th Nov 2005, 02:28
Just say

"Red Roller, Blue Roller"

fast.

I cant get it right on the :mad: first try.

Heatseeker
8th Nov 2005, 03:25
Duck,

try it in Japanese

Led Loller, Blue Loller

H:D

BombayDuck
8th Nov 2005, 03:31
Darn... I don't know Japanese :P

teeteringhead
8th Nov 2005, 08:08
or even

"red lorry yellow lorry"

and there's

"ten thin tin things thin Tim tinted"

The SSK
8th Nov 2005, 08:27
Fox in Socks (http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/dreeves/Fox-In-Socks.txt) by Dr Seuss

27mm
8th Nov 2005, 10:01
I want hot coffee from a proper copper coffee pot

tall and tasty
8th Nov 2005, 10:16
The sick sheiks sixth sheep is sick!!


Hated it in elecution and hate it even today had my tongue tied

TnT
:p

The SSK
8th Nov 2005, 10:50
I want hot coffee from a proper copper coffee pot My local music pub had a concert one night by the bloke who did a one-man-band busking act that got to number one many years ago with 'Rosie' - Don somebody?

Anyway, his version went:
Odds bods I want a proper cup of coffee
Made in a proper copper coffee pot
You may think I'm off my dot
But I want a cup of coffee from a proper coffee pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they're no use to me
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot
I'll have a cup of tea

The only other bit I can remember was the line:
Curse yer, curse yer, curse yer, this is the horriblest coffee in Persia

goose boy
8th Nov 2005, 11:10
Here Goes


I saw Susie sitting in the shoe shine shop
All day long she sits and shines or shines and sits

Sits & shines & shines and sits & sits and shines ............etc

BALIX
8th Nov 2005, 12:07
The skunk rolled down the hill and ruptured it's larynx.

Doesn't sound too difficult, does it? If you translate it into Polish, though, it becomes one of the trickiest tongue twisters in the world. Apparently.

TnT

I think the one you mentioned can be taken to another level:

The sixth sick sheik's
Sixth sheep's sick.

Windy Militant
8th Nov 2005, 12:11
Not sure about the spelling but here goes..............

Are you Aluminiuming my man?
No I'm copper bottoming our mam!
:=

Farmer 1
8th Nov 2005, 13:38
For SSK,

Partridge, mate.

Stockpicker
8th Nov 2005, 13:42
In me thespian days we would warm up by saying "she stood on the balcony inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping and amicably welcoming him in".

(Can't even TYPE it right first time!)

Flash0710
8th Nov 2005, 16:50
Far Canal.

:)

tony draper
8th Nov 2005, 17:47
Pass the fork n knife across the table.

Nice car mate, how yer afford it?
I work for Cunard.
I work for cunard as well mate, but I int gorra car like that.

The old uns is the best.
:rolleyes:

tart1
8th Nov 2005, 21:22
I have always loved the Cunard joke Mr D. :D

How do the people who actually work for Cunard say who they work for without it sounding like something rude?

I suppose they have to say 'with Cunard', 'at Cunard' or 'employed by Cunard'? :confused:

criticalmass
8th Nov 2005, 21:39
A wicked cricket critic.

Atlas Shrugged
9th Nov 2005, 02:11
A bitter biting bittern
Bit a better brother bittern,
And the bitter better bittern
Bit the bitter biter back.
And the bitter bittern, bitten,
By the better bitten bittern,
Said: "I'm a bitter biter bit, alack!"

:mad:

PaperTiger
9th Nov 2005, 18:55
If you translate it into Polish, though, it becomes one of the trickiest tongue twisters in the world. Apparently.

Nah, piece of cake.
Ten smierdziel kolysany w dól ten pagórek i zerwany jego krtan.

G-CPTN
9th Nov 2005, 19:02
>How do the people who actually work for Cunard say who they work for without it sounding like something rude?

Two Jamaicans meet in a London street.
"Hi there. I ain't seen you in ages."
"I've been away working for jeesus."
"You've been working for jeesus - you mean the LORD Jesus?"
"No, man, KRAFT jeesus!"

To a Dane the following is well nigh impossible:-
Three thousand thrushes in a thicket of thorn.

Hobo
9th Nov 2005, 19:51
I rattled my bottles in Hollockses' Yard.

Lemon liniment.

ww1
9th Nov 2005, 22:18
try TOY BOAT several times, fast

tart1
9th Nov 2005, 22:33
Yes I can do that ww1..........do I get a prize?? :}