View Full Version : Men and Flowers

DX Wombat
6th Nov 2005, 14:13
Why are men so worried about being seen in public with, or being given, a nice bunch of flowers? A little scene setting is required here.
Place: a Maternity Hospital somewhere like Liverpool
The participants “’im” aka, “Me son / grandson”, the young gentleman involved (please note, he is ALWAYS referred to by the young lady (and often her relatives too) as “’im”
“’er”, aka “Me daughter / granddaughter” – “The wife / girlfriend / bird”- the young lady of the tale,
“Me mam” “’is” or “’er” maternal parent
“Me Nan” aka “ ‘is Nan” or “’er Nan” depending on whether you are “’im” or “’er” one of the two newly created greatgrandmothers
“Me grandad” aka,”’is” or “er” grandfather
The young couple has just been blessed by the arrival of their first child and in time-honoured tradition the lad, aided and abetted by his mates, eventually makes his way to the local florist via a suitable watering hole or several.:uhoh:
The Florist sees him coming and with a well-practised eye sums up the situation with deadly accuracy. The mates stay outside whilst he, with a mental picture of “’er Nan” and what she will do to him should he fail to produce the requisite bouquet, goads him into entering the shop. “I need some flowers for ‘er” “Yes sir? New baby is it? Your first? Boy or girl?” Having extracted the necessary information from ‘im and removed the large bucket of flowers he has just tripped over “Erm, sorry I’m dead tired, I was there all night” cuts no ice with the florist who has accurately deduced that the baby’s head isn’t so much wetted as totally sodden. The suitably large bouquet is produced, a sobering amount of money (many, many beers worth) handed over and he takes a deep breath before, in a highly embarrassed state, venturing forth to rejoin his mates who now refuse to be seen dead (well actually, that is the only way they will be seen) within 500 yards of him whilst he is carrying those flowers.
On arrival at the hospital he participates in the traditional post natal ceremony peculiar to most new fathers and shuffles into the ward, flowers clutched firmly to his side or behind his back in the ostrich-like belief that if he can’t see them nobody else can. :hmm:
I never cease to be amazed by the embarrassment which a bunch of flowers seems to cause men visiting their wives / mums / grannies /girl friends. These often include the same men who proudly display their prize blooms at Flower Shows in fierce competition with each other – no problem there with being associated with flowers.
So, come on PPRuNe Gentlemen (I’m assured that there ARE some out there) – what is the problem?

6th Nov 2005, 14:22
Imagine my amazement when we went to live in Denmark, where every anniversary is celebrated by family or work-mates, together with FLOWERS for the man . . .

6th Nov 2005, 14:32
I'd rather tell me Doris i'd been on the shag than by her flowers.....:E


6th Nov 2005, 14:35
Well I reckon real men take it all in their stride and wouldn't mind at all being seen with or receiving a bunch of flowers.

Those men who feel the need to worry about that kind of thing are pretty pathetic really. :hmm:

6th Nov 2005, 14:51
Does this mean we won't have to buy flowers for their funeral?... ;)

Onan the Clumsy
6th Nov 2005, 15:27
As I have told many men before. Either buy your wife flowers on a regular basis...or never. There are no alternatives and if, on the way home from work you stop off to buy some bread and in the supermarket you see some flowers and unto yourself you say "Those are nice. I bet she'll like them". Verily beware for when the flowere you give unto her she will think "What's he done wrong?"


6th Nov 2005, 15:53
Buy a packet of seeds and say 'these will flower every year and remind you of my undying love for you'.

6th Nov 2005, 16:02
I bought flowers for a lady I admired very much and had to sneak them into the building in a cardboard box in case anyone else saw.

...does that prove your point?


Irish Steve
6th Nov 2005, 16:05
in the supermarket you see some flowers and unto yourself you say "Those are nice. I bet she'll like them". Verily beware for when the flowere you give unto her she will think "What's he done wrong?"

Verily beware of ever buying flowers in a supermarket, in that the reaction to such an offering could more possibly be "":mad: cheap skate" if he was going to get me flowers, he could at least have got some nice ones!"

Having done a lot of delivery work for a florist, I've seen the difference, and it does show!

6th Nov 2005, 16:10
Too right Steve - flowers from the supermarket could well be frowned upon - the only thing worse, apparently, is if you get them from the petrol station :eek:

Silent treatment for a week . . . if you're lucky !!!

6th Nov 2005, 16:16
Isn't it a shame that men think like this?? :confused:

I can't understand what the problem is with being seen with flowers - do they think that everyone will think they are gay or something?

As a woman, I would be really delighted if a man brought me flowers on the first or the tenth date. I can't see the problem really. It does not denote a major commitment, it is just a rather sweet, old-fashioned and nice gesture. :D

(Note to VFE - I think you will find that a lot of women think this, even if they won't admit it here.)

6th Nov 2005, 16:38
Never realized giving or receiving flowers was such a big deal, it's a beautiful gesture at any time, be it the first or tenth date, (agree with tart1 on this) or just because!

Flowers are gorgeous, a bouquet of hand picked wild flowers is as magnificent as two dozen long stem roses, just look at them, look closely - such delicate beauty!

Why should anybody feel embarrassed about giving flowers or questioning the reasons behind receiving them????
Enjoy the lovely little things in life... ;)

6th Nov 2005, 16:40
Verily beware of ever buying flowers in a supermarket, in that the reaction to such an offering could more possibly be ":mad: cheap skate" if he was going to get me flowers, he could at least have got some nice ones!"
If your wife thinks that then divorce the shallow, materialistic b*tch while you've got the chance.

Whenever I buy my wife flowers, regardless of regularity or source, she is always very pleased and happy. Mind you, she's not British, so that probably counts for a lot.

Farmer 1
6th Nov 2005, 16:59
"I love you. I'm sorry. Shall we? Wasn't it great? Thank you. I'm thinking of you. Hello. Goodbye. etc. etc. etc."

Say it with flowers. Say what? Anything you like, and everything, all in one handful.

I was sent a bunch of flowers once, and I'm not of the female persuasion, by the way.

My mother had died, and I had taken with me the cards from the various bunches of flowers that had been received at the funeral.

A few days later, when I thought the time was right, I finally got round to reading the cards, and very moving they were. She was a much-loved lady.

Ring at the doorbell. Chap standing there with a bunch of flowers.

"For me?" says I, jokingly.

"Yes, if your name's Farmer 1," says he.

It was from my sister. Timing - perfect.

Thanks, Sis, I'll never forget.

Enough of all this sentimental twaddle!

Krystal n chips
6th Nov 2005, 17:07
Been buying flowers for years now--Ms K n C likes them around her house and, other than Christmas / Birthday does not expect a large bouquet---just a decent bunch from any supermarket who usually have a good choice anyway.

Strangely enough, when buying a bunch last week,the guy behind me said ( cue Norvern accent 'ere ) "are yer int doghouse den?"--nodding and smirking at the flowers--short answer was "No, I buy them all the time"--after which I was regaled as to how he only bought them etc.--on the way out as I was paying, I noticed the paper he was buying--and asked casually " is the Sun your daily reading then?" obvious answer of course--to which I simply added "that explains a lot then doesn't it" . Look, I was rejected by the FCO for my "diplomatic skills" OK ! :E

And some nice music for you all as well ! ;)


6th Nov 2005, 17:11
>Flowers on a first date for example are viewed as a no-no even by most girls these days

I met Mrs G-CPTN at a ball (what're YOU doing here, says I . . . )
No, truly I first set eyes on the future Mrs G-CPTN at a ball immediately before Christmas. I didn't feel committed to buying and giving a 'present', so I bought a bouquet of flowers, but chickened-out and had to ask a mate to deliver them! They did the trick, and we met for a second time (and ultimately married).
Now things have gone sour (from her side). I USED to regularly buy flowers 'just before Christmas' and Valentines Day, but NOW I keep a vase of flowers filled continuously (to demonstrate my never-ending love towards her). I'm not sure how much effect it's having, but it certainly ain't making things worse AFAICT.

6th Nov 2005, 17:20
I should add that, as has been noted by a couple of people, there is usually not too much wrong with supermarket flowers.

Of course, if it was to be ones selling for 50p because they are well past their sell-by date and nearly dead, then that might not be such a great gesture. Generally, the ones I see in my local supermarkets are good.

It is that flowers are like wine? There is a certain amount of snobbishness about where they come from. I think it would be the height of bad manners to take umbrage at being brought flowers which have come from Sainsburys rather than a posh florist.

It is the thought that counts. Wild flowers, or flowers picked from the garden, can also be very nice. :D

Krystal n chips
6th Nov 2005, 18:57
Tart 1 ---- A very valid point re snobbishness and wine / flowers etc. How many people have you seen buying items from any supermarket--and then stuffing them in an M n S bag --or Harrods of course--just to "impress". As many as I have I suspect :yuk:

As for wine, well, why pay a fortune when all you need is a decent bottle of table wine for an evening ?--and lets face it, 90% of us couldn't tell the difference anyway unless the stuff was pure vinegar of course ! And if I do want a special bottle for a certain event, then I will pay a bit more for it as would most people I suspect.

I do "love" some of the pretentious and precocious prats you see shopping at times--highly entertaining ! :E :D

6th Nov 2005, 19:35
I once had flowers delivered directly to my evening work establishment, a very male dominated job it was as well! I was initially embarrassed, but the more I though on the more I appreciated the sentiment, much to the amusement of my colleagues.

Joke twas on them once I got home for the remainder of the gift, if I receive flowers now, no problem, as for giving them or being seen with them, I really cannot see the problem?


Noah Zark.
6th Nov 2005, 20:19
I don't know if I'm an exception, but don't have a problem been seen with flowers at all. It's a fairly common but random event when , on the spur of the moment, I will call in and get some for Mrs. Zark.
I also don't have a problem with ladies giving me flowers. This has only happened twice, and I wouldn't mind it happening again! I must be in touch with my feminine side, sweetie! :D

6th Nov 2005, 20:22
I would say that a man who doesn't mind been seen with flowers and who would be happy to receive a gift of flowers ......... is not 'in tune with their feminine side' but is a sensitive man with finer feelings.

Not many of them left these days, I fear. :{ :{

6th Nov 2005, 20:26
'Nout p*sses me off more than pansies in cities who wouldn't know a decent days work in the fresh air if hit 'em with a sack, but are scared of depleting their "manly" image by being seen with some flowers. I have no-one atm to GIVE flowers I admit, but have no problem to be seen carrying 'em (I work/want to work in forestry, can hardly be seen to have an aversion to foliage :} ) but really, if your manhood feels so threatened as to the point that being seen with abunch flowers could result in your ego collapsing.....:rolleyes:

If I see a bloke with some flowers, I thinks to myself <Dorset accent> Wonder who's getting those, and why? Bet it's their anniversary or sommat like that, how nice for 'em. That or he's done sommat wrong </Dorset accent>

6th Nov 2005, 20:28
Some years ago was delivering a pressie of an Orchid to a mates wife. He worked in the Tower and I had to tube from Putney so a reasonable journey across Lon clutching my Phelianopsis, which I personaly think are quite lovely and were still not that popular or common at that time. Lots of stares but no comments untill almost at the Fuselier HQ when was stopped by a Beefeater who was intirgued to know what kind of flower it was. The only person to comment and admire was another man.

6th Nov 2005, 22:00
i buy my wife flowers regularly, the more spontanious the better, yes, even those cheap teddy bears with the fake roses from the local service station are good. even while shopping, she goes looking for yet more shoes, i will find a florist, and place them in the car for her to return to...

its called maintainence.

the purpose.... great sex life, and i cant remember the last time we had an argument....

6th Nov 2005, 23:19
I buy my wife flowers all the time. Who cares who sees me?
When I end a phone call with her I always end with "Love ya".
I England I get funny looks and sniggers when I tell her I love her. Here in the USA, who cares? I think American men are more at ease with being romantic. Brits still have that macho stigma attached to them.

By the gals flowers. When you go to bed you'll not regret it!

7th Nov 2005, 08:57
I don't buy my wife flowers anymore, I tried a few times when I was younger and more optomistic, but on my return home with said flowers I was berated for buying the wrong colour or type. An argument naturally ensued and the purpose of buying the flowers (as a thoughtfull and loving gesture) seemed unlikely to be served. I presume she buys her own these days as there is often flowers around.

Never minded being seen with flowers though.

7th Nov 2005, 09:07
Never buy flowers, just too awkward to carry around. Always found it easier to get Interflora to deliver them, and select them as well.......

7th Nov 2005, 09:09
No way!....

you have to select the flowers that you want, even if you don't have to scale a mountain to get them!

7th Nov 2005, 09:20
google! do you use it! it will tell you what every type of flower means, and in what arragement.

you can never go wrong..

7th Nov 2005, 09:48
divorce the shallow, materialistic b*tch Oh dear! I have to say I only buy supermarket flowers in an emergency ..... have you ever thought what it is that's missing when displaying a supermarket flower stand? That's right - the scent! To get suitably "value-range" flowers, they have to stock forced ones that have no/little scent.

Mr SP does not buy me flowers. His attitude is that if he did, I would suspect something - when I ask him why he hasn't bought me flowers, he says "you're not ill"! :O

I, however, make up for the shortfall by spending a fortune at my favourite florist on a regular basis getting gorgeous flowers for the house .... :E

7th Nov 2005, 12:11
It is that flowers are like wine? There is a certain amount of snobbishness about where they come from.
Interesting comparison, 'flowers and wine', however, to me, flowers are all gorgeous, really.
Such delicate, exquisite beauty, nothing to add nothing to take away...

Wine on the other hand can range from magnificent to mouth wash:p

Actually it's quite sad if people judge be it wine or flowers by 'where they come from'. Shows they have absolutely no idea as to how to appreciate either, a mere point of origin does not quality make. :hmm: As O.W. said, people nowdays know the price of everything and value of nothing...

7th Nov 2005, 12:45
It was George Bernard Shaw who, when asked why he never had any flowers in his house, if he loved them so much, replied, "I love little children too but I don't cut off their heads and stick them in vases."

7th Nov 2005, 13:35
Well I guess that about sums that up, oh oh actualy the orchids were still in their pot.:D Whew lets me off the hook. Never know when someone will throw paint over one for cruelty to flowers.

7th Nov 2005, 16:43
I send 'em my mum. She seems to appreciate them.

Partners or would-be partners don't get them from me. Too many ungrateful cows in the past which I did send 'em to in the past have ruined it for the rest of ya'. I'm tarring you all with the same brush. :ok:

7th Nov 2005, 16:52
You lot inspired me to go out today and buy myself ten beautiful red roses. Also treated myself to a Poinsettia and an Azalea. Make of that what you will. :p

7th Nov 2005, 16:54
Sounds like bingeing to me. Very healthy bingeing:ok:


Irish Steve
7th Nov 2005, 21:19
I think it would be the height of bad manners to take umbrage at being brought flowers which have come from Sainsburys rather than a posh florist.

Posh Florist? what's that?` OK, I admit to some bias, my daughter is a florist, through choice, runs her own small unit in a little village about 3 miles away.

Glamourous? No, damp all year round, and in winter damn cold. Flowers need water, lots of it, and not too much heat, which kills them. That's one of the reasons why supermarket flower can be problematic. They're often put near the door, which likely as not has a hot air curtain system in winter, and that's a killer to cut flower.

Good money? Only if you're really switched on, and keep the stock control side so under control most people regard you as a control freak. There's only one thing more perishable than fresh flower, and that's a newspaper. Fresh flower requires a lot of TLC to keep it that way, and it has to be treated right if it's going to last when it's delivered to the client. Again, that's one of the issues with supermarket flower. It arrives, if it's lucky it gets thrown in a bucket of water, and then it's sold. There are so many variations on that theme that shorten the life dramatically. I've bought flower from supermarkets, garages, and (obviously) from the florist. Price wise, the florist is dearer, but when they last for twice as long, or more, then it's well worth it. I've seen roses at supermarkets for Valentine's day that were only fit for the skip, they had gone so far over, but that's the way these things sometimes work.

Contaminated water, even the wrong flowers together in the same bucket. Too hot, too cold, too draughty, too dry, all these have significant influence in the life of the flower.

Easy life? No, my daughter is often working a 60+ hour week, by the time she's gone to the wholesaler to get her flower, brought it to the shop and conditioned it so it will last, then done a full day's selling, that's usually about 10 or 11 hours, and 6 days a week, without the delivery detours on the way home in the evening, trying to find " the third house on the right after the pump that's not there any more"! Yeah, that's the delivery instructions we got given recently. Another said, 2nd house on the left with the big gates and the line of trees in the garden. Try 19th house on the right with no garden!

Easy work? No way. The training for my daughter took her 2 years at university level. That was a lot of theory about flowers, and all the related aspects, as well as some business basics. A professional trained florist ( floral designer) at work is a joy to watch. A flower arranger who's decided to open a shop is often in deep trouble within a few weeks of opening, it's by no means the glamour etc that it once was.

Anyway, this is jet blast, so it's time for hat, coat, thermals so I don't freeze while I'm collecting the deliveries.....................:O

Bottom line, ( and yes, I admit to total bias in that respect), Florist flowers from a good florist ( and good professionally TRAINED florists are not as common as some would have you believe) are always worth going for if you can :O

And yes, I do get my wife flowers, she likes them:O

7th Nov 2005, 23:19
Well that was my quote but I never inferred that florists weren't good and that they had an easy life, etc.

What I said (and I stand by this) is that good flowers can be got in the supermarket, yes even those with scent!

I also said that it would be very ill-mannered for a recipient of flowers to complain about where they were purchased.

Naturally, flowers from a good florist are to be regarded as the best but, if you can't afford them or haven't got the time or the opportunity to purchase them at such an establishment, then good supermarket flowers can be an adequate alternative.

Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have said 'posh' florist either.

Sorry, sorry, a thousand times sorry!! :ooh:

8th Nov 2005, 07:25
another little trick, fake flowers with a few drops of rose oil in them, get the look and the scent.

Windy Militant
8th Nov 2005, 09:27
I find the whole cut flowers thing a bit depressing. Personally I've never really seen the attraction of bringing dead things into the house. Possibly I'm strange but it's something I've inherited from my mum who prefers house plants to cut flowers.
Mind you my mum is amazingly green fingered. She's grown a Ginger plant from a slice of root she'd bought for cooking and there's a very attractive clump of Carnations in the garden which arrived from the florist. The ten year old Amaryllis that I bought her for Christmas which should have turned up it's roots years ago! She's also got a collection of Orchids that are thriving on the kitchen window sill that started life as a button hole!
Maybe the occupants of my kitchen window say more about me than I thought. A bullet proof Begonia, an unidentified octopus shaped cactus, a pot of Thyme, Rosemary, shallots, parsely and two Cherry Tomato vines. There was a pepper plant as well but the greenfly ate it. :( Still the Blueberry shrubs I got for Christmas are doing well. :ok:

Solid Rust Twotter
8th Nov 2005, 10:24
Always struck one as slightly deviant, handing over the sexual bits of vegetables to the object of one's desire. What are we actually trying to say?

Who said romance is dead...?:E

8th Nov 2005, 11:39
Whilst I'm not exactly the most prolific flower giver by any means, I certainly have no problem buying, being seen carrying, or giving them.
Both the buying and carrying part are actually rather rewarding I think, attracting 'I wouldn't mind you buying/bringing me me flowers' type looks/reactions, which is always nice. :ok:

As for the actually giving, to be honest I can't remember the last time I did but certainly have on a few occasions, I think that having them delivered to the recipient is generally best - a pleasant surprise for them when they least expect it.

Any man who's embarrassed by such a thing has some insecurity issues in my book. How do they fare when it comes to underwear shopping for the lady in their lives? Now that's always an interesting exercise.:E

8th Nov 2005, 12:02
Now the two combined gets tongues really wagging, oh and I don't mean yours by the bye.

8th Nov 2005, 13:23
To go back to the original post, I'm still waiting for flowers from my other half to congratulate me on having carried and given birth to his son! All PMs to Mr Lexx please:}

8th Nov 2005, 13:32
>To go back to the original post, I'm still waiting for flowers from my other half to congratulate me on having carried and given birth to his son!

Is that what he promised you before you know what? Did you not even get a meal and a bottle of wine beforehand?

tall and tasty
8th Nov 2005, 13:46
To go back to the original post, I'm still waiting for flowers from my other half to congratulate me on having carried and given birth to his son!

I am still waiting almost 6 years down the line for the bunch for my adorable son and almost 9 for my daughter. I know great things come to those who wait. :*

But I love flowers, my favourite are the very dark velvet red roses almost black and strongly scented. Nothing nicer than having a room full of the scent from a flower arrangement. They can also express your mood, small poses from the children are just so adorable to the great big bunches that you get given from friends out of the blue whether they are next door or thousands of miles away just to say thank you/you need cheering up or thinking of you.

How do they fare when it comes to underwear shopping for the lady in their lives? Now that's always an interesting exercise.

I have friends who get around this by approaching a pretty young lady in the store and doing the googly puppy eyes and asking them for their opinion on what they think. I am always happy to help out a poor man lost in the world of LaSenza if I am in there. I am sure a man would do the same if I went in to a gentleman’s store


8th Nov 2005, 14:00
Is that what he promised you before you know what? Did you not even get a meal and a bottle of wine beforehand?

meal yes and I paid for it!!!!! Although to be fair I did get a small bottle of wine the night before he was born, although I only got to drink half of it!

8th Nov 2005, 14:13
Girls, girls, what is this talk of flowers for giving birth? You are entitled to an eternity ring! Stand up for your rights!! :E :E

8th Nov 2005, 14:20
> a poor man lost in the world of LaSenza

Is that the female branch of Jock Strapp?

I offered Mrs G-CPTN some 'exciting' underwear when I caught her oggling some in a 'specialist' shop. I visited alone and decided it was all too much for me to decide (especially after the disaster of the scarlet satin set I'd bought a couple of decades ago), so I arranged to meet her for a combined shopping trip. Once inside the 'specialist' shop Mrs G-CPTN agreed that what was on display was more suitable for 'parties'. We visited several other shops before settling for a very nice set from the lingerie department of a department store. MUCH cheaper and longer lasting (but nevertheless 'sexy').

tall and tasty
8th Nov 2005, 14:23

G-CPTN - just for you open it slowly


8th Nov 2005, 14:30
Thanks, TnT. :ok:
I think we went there, but they were all (?) underwired, and Mrs G-CPTN prefers 'no-wire'. I recall 'discovering' her different taste in bras when we were first courting. :E

8th Nov 2005, 14:36
I have friends who get around this by approaching a pretty young lady in the store and doing the googly puppy eyes and asking them for their opinion on what they think. That's the one TnT. I consider that my taste is pretty sound but, even so, given the opportunity to present any 'pretty young lady' who may be in the vicinity whilst I'm shopping for such gifts with my two favorite selections and ask that she assist me in choosing between them, well, it's only good sense surely. Invariably, a most interesting discussion ensues. :E

I avoid the 'googly puppy eyes' though, favouring a carefully, but deliberately, raised eyebrow at any 'Good choice, I'm wearing similar now' type comments. ;)

8th Nov 2005, 16:46
What is it about women and their "what is it about men" routine? We're not thoughtless, insensitive, not in touch with our inner karmas or whatever, we're just bloody DIFFERENT - and not worse or better different, either.

It gets ridiculous - a mate of mine was telling me he was getting serious grief from the girlfriend because he wasn't "spontaneous" enough. So I took his mobile from him, went into the organiser, and picked 8 random dates in the next 12 months to give him a reminder to be spontaneous and buy her flowers, bring her out for a meal, or whatever - sorted.

Got my hat and coat, half way out the door waiting for comments along the lines of "surely it can't be beyond you...", etc etc.

8th Nov 2005, 17:37
Boss lady's birthday on thursday....I will not forget the flowers.
I think is a pleasant surprise if you get them delivered..........especially to their place of work:E :E

9th Nov 2005, 00:24
another little trick, fake flowers with a few drops of rose oil in them, get the look and the scent.
Oh noooooo, fake flowers, scented or not are ... well, are no substitute for real flowers!:suspect:

Ok, fake plants are plain nasty... but that's just my opinion :hmm:

9th Nov 2005, 07:23
I make a point of buying fresh flowers for my wife every two weeks , what's wrong with that ?

9th Nov 2005, 12:41
Quite apart from making the rest of us look extremely bad, nothing:}