Emerald quick turn policy

[V953C EJ]

I belive that guys and girls at Emerald have been working on improving the ground time by means of speeding up the disembrking! Any idea how its getting on? I do belive today was the first attempt ;)

[Doctor Cruces]

Wot?

MOB says "Don't wait for the steps, just chuck em out. It'll speed up the turnround and save money"

Doc C

[Epsilon minus]

For many years now I've been working on mass disembarkation schemes for passengers whilst airborne.
Of course this only works on mutliple route legs and with able bodied passengers.
The scheme, which has yet to be approved by the CAA, was to equipe the self loading freight with parachutes the opening mechanism of which is attached by strops to a guide rail running along the ceiling.
When the aircraft is at approximately 3000 FT QFE and over the long term car park an instruction to disembark will be given by the captain. The passengers will stand and file in to the isle moving toward the aft of the aircraft and the rear door whilst holding the opening strop and running it down the guide rail. When at the rear door a dispatcher will push them out.
The idea for this came from watching 'A bridge too far' I noted that it seemed to work quite well for the airborne brigades.
Advantages are:
1) reduced landing fees
2) No over weight landing problems
3) reduced ground handling fees
4) reduced number of cabin staff
5) bloody good fun to watch from the ground
6) should make for cheaper fares
Disadvantages are:
1) puts the fear of god into some but by reassuring them at check in with "Chin up we're British you know" should do the trick
2) parachutes are paper disposables so no good in the rain
3) no good if the wind speed exceeds 35 kts (steering the canopy)
4) Can't swap seats once the opening strop is engaged

Overall I think you will agree that this is a jolly good idea and one, I'm sure, Emerald will employ.

[Epsilon minus]

Heard rumours that Ryan Air have pinched my idea. Can anybody confirm this?

[Germstone]

Heard rumours that Ryan Air have pinched my idea. Can anybody confirm this?

yep all true i hear only thing is as a cost cutting exercise its one chute between 2 pax :-)