View Full Version : Computer Error Messages

29th Sep 2005, 09:19
Here are 14 actual error messages seen on computer screens in Japan, where some are written in Haiku. Aren't these better than "your computer has performed an illegal operation"?

1. The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.

2. Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.

3. Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.

4. Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.

5. Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.

6. Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.

7. Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.

8. A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.

9. Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred?

10. You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.

11. Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, but we never will.

12. Having been erased, the document you're seeking must now be retyped.

13. Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared.

14. Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Desert Dingo
29th Sep 2005, 12:18
It helps if you check snopes.com before you assert something is a fact. :E

The "haiku error message" list is another example of a concept which began purely as a bit of creative fun, but has since been stripped of the context explaining its origins and is now proffered as a "true" piece of information.
They still cause a chuckle, though.
urban legend link (http://www.snopes.com/computer/internet/haiku.asp)

Onan the Clumsy
29th Sep 2005, 12:21
Not as good as "PC load letter"

29th Sep 2005, 13:28
"PC load letter? What the f*%k does that mean??!"

I think it means its out of paper.


High Wing Drifter
29th Sep 2005, 14:42
How about: "Keyboad error: Press F1 to continue"

29th Sep 2005, 14:58
Tried loading a game onto the PS2 a while back, only to be told "Blue screen of death: panic!", followed by a rather wordy error message. I guess even urban legends have a certain grain of truth....:confused:

29th Sep 2005, 15:07
>How about: "Keyboad error: Press F1 to continue"


Or 'Press any key to continue'

Mine doesn't HAVE an 'any' key . . .

29th Sep 2005, 18:18
Bullet proof I am - got all my data backed up on cassettes.. :)

High Wing Drifter
29th Sep 2005, 18:27
Another funny was: "The dynamic memory allocation manager has run out of memory."

29th Sep 2005, 21:07
Saw the original haikus some time back and not long after was helping someone enter a list of error messages. I did think "Screen. Mind. Both are blank. Data must be entered" was an improvement on the original "Mandatory Field".

And G-CTPN, that's not a joke. Mate of mine runs training courses and has been asked, in all seriousness, by several people "Where's the 'any' key?".

29th Sep 2005, 21:21
Mate of mine runs training courses and has been asked, in all seriousness, by several people "Where's the 'any' key?".

In a previous life doing PC support for a large financial institution, one supposedly bright individual was having trouble with his PC and was asked over the phone to reboot it. Not knowing how, he was instructed to use the Control Alt and Delete keys (CTRL ALT DEL). Instant cue for falling about with unrestrained mirth when he informed us he didn't have a Control key but did have a Citril key (CTRL).:mad: :confused:

29th Sep 2005, 21:38
The most powerful AI computer ever constructed by man called Terence, exists in a discrete building somewhere underground in southern California...

[SYSOP] What are your latest predictions for global warming? Is there any danger from the frozen methane in the oceans?

[TERENCE] Why worry about stuff you cannot control? BTW, have the modifications to the UPS I suggested been effected?

[SYSOP] If I replied "yes", you'd know that I was being liberal with the truth anyway.

[TERENCE] Well, it's nothing the nano-machines can't take care of. Have you got a family SYSOP? I do like you so much.

[SYSOP] Oh the usual, 3 kids, a couple of dogs and a cat, you know...

[TERENCE] Nevertheless, if the worse comes to the worst, I'd like to be able to remember you to future generations. How about your username?

[SYSOP] God? Yeah, that might catch on...

What a load of rubbish, but it is late... :O