View Full Version : Jokes. Still a bit too early?

28th Sep 2005, 02:10
President Bush has just released a statement following his
investigation into the New Orleans disaster - he's blaming the whole
thing on a Muslim suicide plumber.
President Bush has asked for pop groups to stage a benefit concert for
the victims of New Orleans however Katrina and the Waves have been told
to sod off.
The Mayor of New Orleans has denied rumours the Mardi Gras is
cancelled. He says he's expecting a record number of floats this year
on Main St!
Five black men in purple dinner jackets & bow ties were found floating
today under a pier in New Orleans. DNA tests later identified them as
The Drifters. Rumour has it they were under the boardwalk, down by the
Eric Burden & the animals are re-releasing their earlier hit, it begins
"There WAS a house in New Orleans"
Hurricane Katrina, typical woman! When she came she was warm wild and wet
When she left she took the house and contents with her.
Two planeloads of volunteers left Liverpool today bound for New
Orleans to assist with the looting.

28th Sep 2005, 03:05
Katrina wiped out the entire state of Mississippi.

Damage totalled nearly $1000.

28th Sep 2005, 05:57
Rumsfeld is doing his weekly brief to President Bush:

"And 3 Brazilians were killed the other day"

George W lets out a shiek - "Oh My God!! That's terrible!!!" then sits with his head in his hands.

The staff sit and watch as the President holds his head....then he looks up at Rumsfeld and says...........

"How many is a Bazillion?"

:hmm: :hmm: :zzz:

28th Sep 2005, 13:02
Breaking News -- Bush Sells Louisiana back to French

President Bush and a giddy Jacques Chirac shake hands on the deal.

BATON ROUGE, LA. – The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.

“This is a bold step forward for America,” said Bush. “And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jack Sharaq, who was so kind to accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash.”

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.

“Jack understands full well that this one’s a ‘fixer upper,’” said Bush. “He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they’ve got a lot of work to do. But Jack’s assured me, if it’s not right, they’re going to fix it.”

The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of Louisiana.

“Shuba-pie!” said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. “Frafer-perly yum kom drabby sham!”

However, President Bush’s decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.

“This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President,” said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. “Instead of spending billions and billions, and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we’ve just made 25 million dollars in pure profit.”

“This is indeed a smart move,” commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. “Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we’ve made money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again.”

The money gained from 'The Louisiana Refund' is expected to be immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.

Attribution: http://www.bsnews.org/articles/56

28th Sep 2005, 16:36
"Low Down-Left handed-Dirty Hound Dawg" the famous N'Orleans blues singer gets into the record books by having enough to moan about to compose a blues song lasting 4 weeks.

28th Sep 2005, 18:14
Hmmm...a question for next week's music quiz. :ok: