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jimgriff
27th Sep 2005, 11:23
ONE Recently, when I went to McDoald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy,"she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer.....Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency

Life is tough.

It's tougher if you're stupid!"

Kaptin M
27th Sep 2005, 12:05
Nice cut & paste from somewhere (did you think WE were stupid enough to believe it's all YOUR own work?)

One of the things that p!55e5 me off, is Stupid Person who presents his/her items at the checkout, and stands and watches as they are scanned (is there a job that requires any less skill than that, these days?), and after x number of items have been put through - with S P observing - the "cashier" then announces the cumulative cost of aforesaid items.
S P then adopts a look of surprise/astonishment/bewilderment, that s/he actually now needs to PAY for the purchases, and feverishly starts rummaging through his pockets/her handbag.

Dr Illitout
27th Sep 2005, 12:35
Did you call?

Rgds Dr.I.

Tarnished
27th Sep 2005, 12:51
Jim,

Where's your closest Walmart then in the far reaches of rural Welsh Wales?

Tarnished:D

BALIX
27th Sep 2005, 13:27
There's bound to be an Asda, which is owned by wal-mart, in rural Wales.

And lets face it, there are likely to be some stupid people in that neck of the woods as well :E

Hey, it was a joke, right! I've got Welsh ancestors and have a Welsh surname. Ouch!!! Stop hitting me with that leek...

teeteringhead
27th Sep 2005, 13:39
Stupidest thing I saw (repeated many times) was some time ago in a wine bar I used to frequent in Belgravia.

The house wine was 2.50 a small (125 ml??) glass (told you it was a while ago) or 7.50 for the bottle (700 ml) .... and you wouldn't believe the number of people who bought four glasses .....

wanderin_star
27th Sep 2005, 13:44
Yes Kaptim M that my main gripe - whether its bus queue, sandwich queue, supermarket - the people who stand there moaning about the queue and then start rummaging for purse/money after everything packed - they then stand there and carefully put purse away, gloves on etc..

jimgriff
27th Sep 2005, 13:45
Ah ha!

Well spotted, yes it was a cut and paste job, but I am sorry, I couldnt resist that one.

It made I larfff!!!:8