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View Full Version : Evacuation Earth - Who would you take


Jerricho
24th Sep 2005, 22:43
Scenario - Your crazy nextdoor neighbour has learned before the rest of the planet a huge meteor is going to smash into us and kill every living thing. Proving he's not so crazy, he has built a rocket that can orbit the Earth, fully stocked with food and powered to to sustain the orbit for one year, after which he has calculated that a feasible landing could be made in Scandinavia. The vessel can take 10 people in total, including your neighbour.

Being the nice guy that he is, he has offered you a spot on board. And as he doesn't have any other friends, he has said you can choose the other eight. You've decided that killing him to make it 9 people to bring on board isn't a great idea, as only he can operate the rocket and land it again.

Which 8 people would you bring and why?

tinpis
24th Sep 2005, 22:47
http://www.augk18.dsl.pipex.com/Smileys/idea.gif

Avy !

Jerricho
24th Sep 2005, 23:05
Oi!!!

:suspect:

Although, 8 Avy clones........hmmmmmm.

My list:

Mrs J - somebody gotta keep me in line.
Charlie Dymock - going to need gardiner types to plant stuff when we land again.
Nigella Lawson - cook
Farrell - going to need a punching bag
Avy Scott - I'm sure both Avy and Mrs J can become good friends.
The dude who built my house here - so he can build me another, plus he's a good bloke to have a beer with.
Stephen Hawking - he can invent stuff for us (kind of like The Professor off Gilligans Island, although I would have to check to see if his wheelchair would fit)
Rodney Rude - to keep us entertained (and also drink beer with)

Avtrician
24th Sep 2005, 23:06
I'll just use the Tardis thats parked in my shed (actualy it is my shed). Can take as many people that want to go, to some where safe for as long as they want. I will go back and get them, Honest I will:E :E

planepsycho
24th Sep 2005, 23:06
Well I reckon if this "experimental" aircraft is to leave the ground, my fat friends won't be going:}

colmac747
24th Sep 2005, 23:08
to to

Firstly, i'd bring along Desmond Tu-Tu:p

Jerricho
24th Sep 2005, 23:08
Aww come on, play the game.

:{ :{

tony draper
24th Sep 2005, 23:30
I would shoot the next door neigbour and take the spaceship myself, have enough food to last nine years just in case, one cannot be to careful can one?
Survival of the fittest int it,or the sneakiest,
:rolleyes:

Standard Noise
24th Sep 2005, 23:33
The Mil! But only fer ballast. Once we hit 10,000 feet she's history.
Lucifer, but only cos it'd be hilarious to see a black labrador floating round space.
The missus, but only cos she'd haunt me if I didn't.

Oh, and eight page three girls. (Aww come on, Mrs Noise has a headache 28 days a month!)

Farrell
25th Sep 2005, 00:32
Ha ha ah ah ahhh - you are so dead Jerricho! ;)

OK - here we go!

The Neighbour - it's his rocket!

Me

Cameron Diaz - for sex

Julia Ormond - for climb the walls, scream your brains out sex

Ginger Lynn - for 80's Retro Porn sex

Gail Porter and Christina Aguilera - for 2 on 1 abusive sex

Shakira - for "Oh my God!" sex

A certain Thai Airways stewardess from last year - for well....sex

Jerricho - chained up in a steel cage for a year to watch it all and get none of it!
:E

(I think Gail Porter can cook)

Jerricho
25th Sep 2005, 01:03
You really think I would sit in a cage and watch you hump.

I'm sure I could learn to poke out my eyes with my tongue..........at which stage the ladies will totally forget about you :E :E

Farrell
25th Sep 2005, 01:13
How do you come up with these threads mate? That's what I want to know! ;)

pigboat
25th Sep 2005, 01:44
He lives in Winnipeg. Nought to do except slap mosquitos, shovel snow and think up weird threads. :E

heated ice detector
25th Sep 2005, 02:38
there is a classic movie called 'first man on the moon' wherby the neighbour invents a anti gravity paint which he paints to the home made space capsule, the inventor and his neighbour and his wife blast off to the moon and wipe out all the aliens there with his cold that he was sniffling with prior to T/off. I can't remember any sex scenes with the wife although she was a bit of a looker.
Therefore this thread isn't really that crazy after all.

sprocket
25th Sep 2005, 03:24
I guess I'd take the missus and kids, lest the bloody meteor misses earth and then have to face the music upon returing to earth.

The other four would be a brewer (female), an agriculturist(female), a musician (female) and a nutered (male) warrior for self protection and as someone to talk to when having a beer whilst the missus and kids are foraging.
I could go on.:}

planepsycho
25th Sep 2005, 03:53
Drapes, after this is over in nine years....who's going to repopulate the empty planet?:confused:

sprocket
25th Sep 2005, 04:12
:eek: Good God :eek: An earth populated with lots of little Drapes???? :uhoh: ..... on second thoughts, it probably already is.

Krystal n chips
25th Sep 2005, 04:48
Honor Blackman and Catherine Deneuve :ok: :E ---plus a couple of so called "managers" from a former life-----for the unadulterated pleasure of jettisoning the :mad: en-route. :E

Exhaust Manifold
25th Sep 2005, 06:51
Neighbour

Me

2x cheerleaders

2x hot twins

3x hollywood actress

and

1x hostie to cook and clean ;) (think I would get sick of chicken and beef though :} )

Buster Hyman
25th Sep 2005, 07:59
Hmmm...Firstly...

Germaine Greer. I'd give her one of those red Star Trek uniforms just in case we met hostile aliens...:E...you know what I mean.:E

airship
25th Sep 2005, 09:22
In order to respond seriously, I'd need to have a better idea of likely conditions back on Earth (but particularly Scandinavia) after 12 months. It's just that well, I might consider leaving Avy behind and taking a pair of goats instead...

Onan the Clumsy
25th Sep 2005, 13:38
I'd kill the neighbour, steal his rocket and try and fly it myself. This would of course end in it crashing (onto an orphanage) and destroying mankind's hope of survival.

Why would I do this? Because I am human :{

airship
25th Sep 2005, 14:00
I'd definitely reserve a seat for Onan. And take the goats along as well...(if only to save the orphans) :O

pipersfather
25th Sep 2005, 15:18
Me

Neighbour. After I learn how the operate the vessel, neighbour gets blown out the airlock.

One buddy, non-smoking and forced to have vasectomy prior to departure.

And six chicks. Can't repopulate with a shallow gene pool :E

Onan the Clumsy
25th Sep 2005, 16:10
forced to have vasectomy prior to departure.

Can't repopulate with a shallow gene pool

Isn't that a bit of a contradiction? :confused:

tilewood
25th Sep 2005, 17:07
I'd just take a mirror.

Man hath no greater love!

On second thoughts I might take Catherine Tate .... all
those different women in one! :cool:

DeBurcs
25th Sep 2005, 18:45
I'd sell the rocket-design to Middle Easterners who could copy it, and take their terror-loving lot out to space on a one-way trip.

Then the rest of us could sit back, have a beer and laugh our guts out about what a nice little hoax it was and how quite it is without car-bombs......

Ahhh..... it's a nice dream.

Buster Hyman
25th Sep 2005, 22:05
I'd definitely reserve a seat for Onan. And take the goats along as well
So few words yet, so much meaning!:uhoh:

Secondly....

George W Bush. He can operate the radio & give us all a laugh during the quiet times.

tony draper
25th Sep 2005, 22:30
One hates to be pedantic here but it would not be possible for nine people to restart the human race,read somewhere that the lowest possible gene pool number would be at least fifty and possibly more otherwise inbreeding and consanguinity would create a race of drooling half wit microcephalic cretins, hmmm,that could go a long way to explaining Sunderland of course.
:rolleyes:

Jerricho
25th Sep 2005, 22:40
Who said anything about repopulating the earth.

I'm just looking for a great way to end my days.

Farrell
26th Sep 2005, 00:31
"that could go a long way to explaining Sunderland of course."

and quite a few here on JB!! :}

Jerricho
26th Sep 2005, 01:02
Don't be so harsh on yerself there Farrell me old china :p

Blacksheep
26th Sep 2005, 06:57
Mrs B, the children and their fiances.

Oops that makes nine. No doubt they'll leave me behind as usual...

pipersfather
26th Sep 2005, 14:36
Alright, I'll get rid of one the chicks and bring a geneticist who can clone human embryos.

I just hope there's some food left in Scandinavia as every other living thing is dead. Cockroaches will probably survive as usual

Exhaust Manifold
26th Sep 2005, 14:41
One hates to be pedantic here but it would not be possible for nine people to restart the human race,read somewhere that the lowest possible gene pool number would be at least fifty

Well you need something to keep you busy :E

Bring me that hostie! :}