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tart1
23rd Sep 2005, 22:44
Where I work they play a little prank on every new employee. The latest new recruit was asked to phone a Mr Robin Banks urgently on some random number while everyone else was listening and sniggering in the background. Another one had to ring Philip McCafferty.

Fairly inncocent and harmless ........... what do you do to new starters at your company?? :rolleyes:

(The funniest thing about the Robin Banks guy was that, about 10 minutes later, he got a message to call a Mr Wiper and he thought that was a joke too. Only it turned out to be a serious customer.... :} )

Jerricho
23rd Sep 2005, 22:48
For those of you who have seen or used Plantronic headsets, you will know there is a "muff" that goes over the ear piece.

Now, taking off the muff and taping up the earpiece and putting the muff back over it is always something that sould never be done when the person is about to get really busy. :E :E

Whirlygig
23rd Sep 2005, 22:54
For anyone using a keyboard and a telephone - prise the numbers off the computer number keypad on the right and replace them in the same layout as the telephone. Even better vice versa depending on how removeable the telephone buttons are and then they could make some really strange phone calls!

Chances are they won't notice what's wrong for a while.

Cheers

Whirls

ZK-NSJ
24th Sep 2005, 02:25
"mr lion" was always a good one (to the local zoo)

TheFlyingSquirrel
24th Sep 2005, 02:30
I have the most fantastic wind up phone call .wav file. An English guy calls a Rolls Royce dealer in America - hillarious. First 5 to PM, i'll email it over. A good prank is a kipper selotaped to the top of one of the drawers in someones filling cabinet at work. They'll smell fish for weeks and will have no idea where it's coming from !! Works a treat !!

TFS

pigboat
24th Sep 2005, 03:09
We never used the airport terminal at home base, we had our own hangar and ramp. Passengers had to cross from the waiting room through the hangar to the ramp, to board the aircraft. There were several loudspeakers in the hangar, and being a 110' X 110' structure, when empty it made a wonderful echo chamber whenever the passenger agent called a flight on the PA system. One morning we had 12 passengers, all of whom I knew well, for a Gulfstream trip. The other aircraft had already departed on the regular sched, so the hangar was empty. The passenger agent had just finished his little speech about the aircraft being ready for boarding and no smoking on the ramp, when I felt a terrible urge to pass wind. Sensing an opportunity too good to pass up, I grabbed the mike, bent over and let 'er rip. A thundersprake! By this time our passengers were just crossing the hangar floor. They all came to a stop, looking at each other in confusion. Then hysteria. People were leaning against each other with tears pouring down their cheeks, others were doubled over holding their sides. The agent was not amused at all. As a matter of fact, he called me a lot of dirty names. :ooh:

High Wing Drifter
24th Sep 2005, 07:13
In my landscape gardening and supermarket stacking days the usuall new starter gags about fetching one of the following:
Left-handed screwdriver
Straight S hooks
Checkered paint
etc
yawn
etc

G-CPTN
24th Sep 2005, 08:11
In Engineering works the new apprentices used to be sent to the stores for a long stand. Not surprisingly, the storeman took his time before deciding it was already out.
Rivet-holes were another item, as was a bucket of steam.

tall and tasty
24th Sep 2005, 08:19
In the good old days on comp mice with balls in them we used to remove the ball, unplug the hand set from the phone so each time it rings they have trouble answering it, change the comp to Russian or another forgien lang and if they get a company phone do the same.

But at the same time make sure they are made really welcome with umpteen cups of what ever, biccies and let them join in. The true sports see the funny side of it. We did have one girl who left after the first day though! She could not handle the jokes.

TnT

ps it was done to me when I arrived at the airline too.

Charlie Foxtrot India
24th Sep 2005, 08:25
Our newbies get sent to collect

Long Weights
Mag Drops
A bag of sparks
Windsock pumps

"Sorry we haven't got any of those"

so off they go next trip to collect a Round Tuit.

"Sorry, we haven't got a round tuit either!"

So it's time for a trip to the management office to get a "verbal agreement form"
:p

Air Soul
24th Sep 2005, 08:27
Notable wind ups include one young lady going to the stores for a skirting board ladder, swapping the connections for keyboard monitor and mouse on the PCs of two colleagues who sit facing each other, and putting a carefully cut piece of black card behind the screen filter of someones PC. After switching the monitor on and off several times, checking connections etc. he called IT support.....


Another trick is to go into the keyboard settings in control panel and set the keyboard to French 'AZERTY'. That took a long time to resolve.

Perhaps the best was many years ago when I worked in a hospital - the X Ray dark room assistant used to change into her uniform in the darkroom every morning. It was fairly simple to rig up a switch on the door which after a few seconds started a cassette tape of loud screaming - to heighten the effect we removed all the light bulbs...

1DC
24th Sep 2005, 09:01
We had a chap who used to play tricks on everyone, one day someone came into the control room where he worked with a glass of water, a broom handle and a set of steps. He set up his steps, climbed up and held the glass of water to the ceiling, then supported the glass against the ceiling with the broom. Our joker was watching all of this and was then asked to hold the broom while the chap got off his steps. He did, and the chap took his steps down and left the control room leaving joker holding a glass of water up to the ceiling with the broom handle. The rest of us had been in on it and after watching our joker try and figure out what he was going to do for a few minutes someone called in on the radio pretending we had an emergency, joker had to answer and got a bit wet when he tried to get away..

SyllogismCheck
24th Sep 2005, 09:08
Once had a new guy start at a place I used to work who we decided to have a little game with. We found the biggest corporate sticker we could and told him that it had to be affixed to the roof of his new company car for advertising purposes.
He did briefly question what use it was on the roof but that was easily fended off with a 'Come on, think about it' responded to with a bit of cog whirring and an 'Oh yeah, right'.
His position was unique meaning there was no issue of why only his car needed this addition so off he went armed with the sticker. He made a very good job of putting it on too, cleaned the roof first, even measured and made some marks with a chinograph pencil to ensure it was nicely centred and square, much to our hilarity as we wacthed from the windows, fits of girly giggles all round.
A while later when he was finished we went to inspect his handiwork. Most impressive it was. Not a single bubble or crease. The sticker was huge, much bigger than we had originally appreciated, intended for the side of a truck or similar, it covered the roof from corner to corner almost perfectly, sunroof and all. We all congratulated him on his excellent work and scatterd before we were unable to stiffle our guffaws.

A week or two passed with us all racing over to the upstairs windows to congratulate each other and chuckle when ever one of us spotted him arriving in the carpark proudly displaying the company name to the skies.

Soon, we decided enough was enough, the novelty had worn off and we hadn't been hauled over the coals due to anyone really senior spotting our little prank, so we decided to 'fees up and give him back the use of his sunroof for the increasingly warm weather.
Next time we saw him arrive we had our last giggle and went down and broke the news to him. He took it very well and myself and one other got the front corners of the sticker peeling before we pulled our respective corners back in unison, peeling the whole thing of in one hit. It was only when we'd completely removed the sticker and were checking the roof for remaining glue that we realised just the opposite was the problem.
Big patches of the paint from the roof were now on the sticker. :eek:
The local spray shop made a nice little cash earner out of us for a rush job the next day. :ouch:

Still, on a £ to :D ratio it was money well spent. :)

ShyTorque
24th Sep 2005, 10:29
On the police ASU I worked at, a written message was left for a certain police officer. The message was to ring the supplied phone number and ask to speak to a "Police Constable Wold" about the computer.

Yes, the phone number WAS actually the local "PC World". :E

After a long, confused and embarrassed phone call, he threw down the phone in disgust. He then came into the crewroom next door to the sight of half a dozen policemen and one pilot rolling about wiping away their tears of laughter!

Best thing was, the victim got his own back on the perpetrator by doing the same thing in return some time later. This time the message was to call "Detective Constable Cook" (D.C. Cook) about the car! :ok:

planepsycho
24th Sep 2005, 14:09
At the last airport where I was employed, an old crusty pilot we call "the legendary aviator" teaches aerobatics and spin recovery in a Cessna 152 Aerobat. One day just after lunch, he had an advanced CFl student who decided to film a 21 turn spin with a camcorder to show his students back at the airport where he was instructing. The legendary aviator wasn't too keen on this idea, during preflight he was yelling at this CFl "you're going to get sick if you look through the view finder while we're in this spin".....the CFl didn't seem to care. So up they go and about 15 minutes later here comes the plane back making an impressive "emergency landing". I went out to the pump where they'd parked the plane to see if they needed fuel, when out jumps the CFl hurling into a sick sack. The legendary aviator was mouthing off curse words I've never even heard......the CFl goes into the terminal. I left the legendary aviator in the plane and followed the CFl in to see if he needed another sick sack. He sat on a chair outside the bathroom door looking like hell...holding his rather full sick sack. In comes the legendary aviator yelling "I told you so, you should have listened"....."look at you over there with your head stuck down in that bag, you should be ashamed of yourself"......"look at what you did to the inside of my plane" They were yelling so loud that my boss came out of his office to see what was going on. Then the CFl looked up at the legendary aviator and matter of factly said "well what do you want me to do, eat it!???".......the legendary aviator said "you might as well, it's probably still warm!"......that's when the CFl turned the sick sack up and devoured the contents. I was sitting at my desk watching this exchange....turning a whiter shade of pale by then.....this banter went on for about 5 more minutes. Suddenly they both broke out in hilarious laughter. Apparently while I wasn't looking, the CFl had dumped a can of chili down in the sick sack, while the legendary aviator diverted my attention by cursing. They could have won an academy award for their performance.....all I can say is.."paybacks were hell". Everytime that story is retold, it is known as "the great chili incident".:yuk: :yuk:

sixmilehighclub
24th Sep 2005, 15:33
I had a new crew member on their initial operating flight when working for an airline that sadly no longer exists.
On turnaround, we cleaned the aircraft and as we had finished, the newbie asked what we do next. I produced a couple of cloths and said, you do the windows out side, i'll do inside. Keen, he went down the stairs and into the forward hold, looking for the ladder which we'd told him was there. He came back saying he couldnt find it so we sent him into the terminal to ask for a ladder to clean the windows with. He returned empty handed naturally but couldnt understand why the staff looked bemused.

Then back at base, whilst refuelling, the captain gave him his fuel points card for Total, and told him to go put the points on the card.

FLCH
24th Sep 2005, 19:50
I used to carry a plastic turd with me in my flight bag. I would put it on my sandwich or plate and call up a usually brand new flight attendant and tell her to take back my crew meal because" it tastes like $hit"....she would come up all concerned, some noticed, and unbelievably some did not. Doesn't say much for our crew meals eh ?

G-CPTN
24th Sep 2005, 20:46
>On turnaround, we cleaned the aircraft and as we had finished, the newbie asked what we do next. I produced a couple of cloths and said, you do the windows out side, i'll do inside. Keen, he went down the stairs and into the forward hold, looking for the ladder which we'd told him was there. He came back saying he couldnt find it so we sent him into the terminal to ask for a ladder to clean the windows with. He returned empty handed naturally but couldnt understand why the staff looked bemused.

Then back at base, whilst refuelling, the captain gave him his fuel points card for Total, and told him to go put the points on the card.

**********************************

Brilliant!

Flintstone
24th Sep 2005, 20:47
I have one of those and drop it in the cabin after any passengers with a dog have disembarked.

The cabin crew language has to be heard to be believed. And I thought they were ladies:E

Loki
24th Sep 2005, 20:48
I learned quickly that going for one`s daily dump whilst wearing a pager was not a good idea as the perpetrator could , if his timing was right, completely spoil the experience.

RaraAvis
25th Sep 2005, 08:57
An innocent prank that backfired rather spectacularly...

A few years ago after a merger between our Co and a Co in SE Asia, one was part of a team sent there to re-train the local management etc.
An interesting experience to say the least, much hilarity and awkwardness ensued when the 'linguistically challenged' foreigners (us) were trying to explain the intricacies of the 'holy corporate culture' and similar...

Prior to our departure, as the management team to take over the day-to-day running of the show had finally arrived, decided to have the last serious talk with our 'trainees'..
One chap in particular was a bit of a work, very good at his job but always pulling sickies, mostly with amazingly daft excuses a la' 'my cousins neighbours cow just died and they need my assistance' delivered with unblinking sincerity. :rolleyes:

Well, we had had enough of such stories and decided to set the fellow straight. A colleague of mine and I set him down and proceeded to 'preach' the importance of the good working habits etc. informing him that if he wanted to continue working with our Co he had to shape up and pronto.

The colleague of mine, a quite straight-talkin' guy, finished the chat with words of wisdom along the lines of: " Listen Joe, you got to stop jerking off like this... The work week is 5 days and you must be in the office for the 5 days, not jerking off somewhere and then trying to humor us with another 'stupid story', you get it? Good"...

Joe got it alright but needed a clarification on what we meant by 'jerking off'... Hmmm, why don't you ask the new Regional Manager (a very PC and utterly humorless gent) during his first Management Meeting tomorrow, surely he'll be happy to enlighten, said I with a little giggle... Heeeee...:E

All this was of course so forgotten by the time our annual International XXX meeting came around. The top employees from all over the world were herded to the 'mother ship' for a glamorous prize giving ceremony and much 'corporate fun'.

Being obliged to attend such nonsense quite regularly one is less than observant what goes on up on the stage, generally beaming chatty 'Employee of the Year' 'awardees' giving heartfelt speeches to the 500+ bored corporate types and thanking all in the manner of Oscars....

Right, but suddenly a rather 'uncouth' phrase repeated often caught my ear.

Yup, there he was... the little beaming Joe, clutching the trophy and announcing in a much improved and enthusiastic English: " ...And I really like to thank Ms.RA and Sir AB for setting me straight, there was a time when all I did was jerk off, almost 3 days a week I jerked off, until Ms.RA and Sir AB told me that is bad to jerk off so much, that jerking off is very bad for my career. And thanks to Ms.RA and Sir AB and your great example I am no longer jerking off and I'm an Employee of the Year now!" :ooh: :eek: :oh:

The whole show degenerated rather rapidly after such performance, even the CEO couldn't keep a straight face. AB and I were quite 'popular' afterwards for some strange reason...

... Guess little Joe never got around asking the Regional Manager...:\

cyclicmicky
25th Sep 2005, 09:24
Black ink on the rubber eye pieces of binoculars!!...it's very hard to keep a straight face when someone is walking around looking like a panda.:}

airship
25th Sep 2005, 10:22
Back in the '80s, there was a power line suspended across the Strait of Messina. (http://community.webshots.com/photo/80945741/80945741teNuVR) Every summer on our way out to the Greek islands one took great pleasure in sending the newest crew member up to the flybridge with our longest and heaviest boat-hook: "We don't want to lose our radar, so pay attention and be ready to lift the cable out of the way just in case!" Popping out of the wheelhouse from time to time (he'd be sent up a good 1/2 hour before we actually went under the power line :E ), it was a joy to see the effort and concentration on his face and imagine the questions racing through his mind...?! ;)

Impress to inflate
25th Sep 2005, 18:55
Another one for the young aprentice is to send them to the local DIY store for bubbles for a spirit level or sparks for an angle grinder. Some you get and some you don't :O

Sharjah Night Shift
25th Sep 2005, 20:59
To wind up our cleaner at work every morning somebody would take the handle off his broom, saw off 1/8 of an inch and then replace the handle. It took him a few weeks to work out what was going on.

Conan the Librarian
25th Sep 2005, 21:10
This one works best with two desk phones (Corded!) back to back - as they might be on two facing desks. Swap the handsets on the bases, retreat to other point in office/whatever and simply dial the user at that desk...

Conan

Synthetic
25th Sep 2005, 22:16
My career in the RAF was destroyed when, as a baby techie, I asked my chief to pass me an adjustable spanner. He didn't like me a lot anyway. When he gave it to me, I pointed out to him that it said 0-150mm on the handle and was a metric - I needed an Imperial. He took two paces towards the tool board, then really hated me. Never mind Martyn.

Duff beer
25th Sep 2005, 22:28
We used to approach new, fresh faced 18 year old cabin crew on their first flight and ask them with a deadly serious face
"Have you done the walk round yet?".

When they quivered their excuses about not knowing we used to send them round with a torch telling them to check the oleos and the horizontal stabilator position.

It was priceless watching them head off.

:)

on21
25th Sep 2005, 22:42
I heard a story that a new Police Recruit on his first set of nights was requested to go to a report of a male seen with a handgun in a back alley.

His tutor would accompany him, and when they got to the location would say his personal radio had gone down, and could he use his, and instruct the new boy to stand at the end of the alley whilest the seasond vet went down to investigate.

You've guessed it, another officer would be down the alley with a starting pistol and would chase the bobbie back up the alley back towards the probationer and let off a few rounds. Said bobbie would then shout for the new lad to get help as he'd been shot.

New boy, minus personal radio would run back to the car and try to use the county set, but this had had the fuse remover prior to the wind up, so preventing him sparking a massive incident. This would give the other officers time to get to the car to have a good laugh at the fear on the new boy face.

Happy days, long gone! You'd be fired if pulled that one in this day and age. character building stuff.
:D

fireflybob
26th Sep 2005, 02:45
The one I liked was the story of the new cabin crew member who was told that due to a heavy weight take off the Captain had ordered that all the fresh air vents in the cabin had to be pointing aft in order to give more thrust - the sight of the new cc going through the cabin complying with this order whilst the rest of the crew were in hysterics had to be seen to be believed!

Blacksheep
26th Sep 2005, 05:56
Jokes that can backfire...

My grandad worked in the moulding shop. One day the store-keeper asked him if they could make a pair of 36 inch Stilsons. "Of course we can" said grandad, "Why?" The store-keeper was fed-up with new apprentices being sent to the store for a pair of 36 inch Stilsons, so next time he wanted to give the lad a pair.

The following week the moulding shop sent a brand new pair of 36 inch Stilsons (an adjustable spanner with 3 feet wide jaws) made from scrap metal, down to the store. They were only issued the once, after which that particular prank came to an end.

...then the machine shop made a long stand. :)

Squawk 2650
26th Sep 2005, 09:31
At a swimming pool where I worked we used to get “work experience kids” to level the pool. The task involved taking water from the deep end to the shallow end in buckets to level the pool. Kept them amused for a bit ha ha

S
:cool:

Gordon Fraser
26th Sep 2005, 10:32
An effective and harmless prank on a PC is to change the colour key on Word/Excel from black to white (no colour), thus rendering all print on the screen invisible.

Rollingthunder
26th Sep 2005, 10:48
Haven't we done this before? Haven't we done most everything before?

We used to send all newbies to the engine shop for a bucket of prop wash. Then later on to the cleaning shop for a 50lb bag of jet blast.

Dak Mechanic
26th Sep 2005, 11:50
A manager of mine was sent (as an apprentice) to the stores for the long wait.

He went home for 2 hours!!

The worst thing about being an apprentice is the paranoia of not knowing whether the item being asked for was a wind up or not. I got around this by asking for an example of the strangely termed item - this worked well until I was given a long hand written list for some "urgent" ("Bob's desparate for this gear, so hurry up lad!") stuff. In the middle of the list was the "striped paint" and "wire netting seeds". The other trick was to make sure that you were bored to death and then ask you to go to the stores for the bucket of steam or whatever..

My favourite was to wait until the unfortunate apprentice was 150 meters away and call them back to tell them to be careful (or that it was raining, or similar)..

Happy days!

panda-k-bear
26th Sep 2005, 11:52
Cyclic Mick

And what, pray tell, is wrong with looking like a panda?
:p

airship
26th Sep 2005, 12:29
And what, pray tell, is wrong with looking like a panda? They would appear to have very small and skinny dicks fer a start...the only consolation being that they are able to self-service! :O

BleriotXI
26th Sep 2005, 21:12
Something that works great is to "freeze" someone's computerscreen. When they're away, make a screenshot of the desktop as it is. Then, make that picture the desktop wallpaper. Next, hide all the icons and the taskbar and voila!
I had a guy rebooting his computer 3 times, calling the helpdesk twice, until I could no longer keep a straight face.

Another funny one is to "reroute" all their shortcut icons. Word will start Paint, Excel will start Outlook...
We had a guy who used to play solitaire a lot. So one day we rerouted the shortcut to a picture we made, that said: "STOP PLAYING GAMES AND GET TO WORK!!!" We told him the system engineers are on to you... He never touched Solitaire at work again.

Farrell
27th Sep 2005, 00:32
Tell the rest of the staff that the new guy is hard of hearing.

It's absolutely hilarious to see people coming up and introducing themselves while slowly mouthing every word at about 80 decibels. :E