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View Full Version : Divorcee's! .. Take heed! .. lol


Chacha
20th Sep 2005, 23:49
This is priceless…

As her divorce was being finalized, she spent the first day packing her belongs into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of wine.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steamed cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit…repairmen refused to work in the house…the maid quit…Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house was worth…but only if she agreed to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home…

…including the curtain rods.


I love a happy ending, don’t you

:E

Desert Dingo
21st Sep 2005, 00:58
Yep.
Pity that it's an old urban legend though.

See Snopes (http://www.snopes.com/love/revenge/shrimp.htm)

Onan the Clumsy
21st Sep 2005, 03:53
I had a mate who left a fish in a suspended ceiling. Apparently there is well a documented precedence for this.

The Otter's Pocket
21st Sep 2005, 07:42
I don't think that its priceless.
It shows a good reason to have split in the first place.
I realise that this is an urban legend, however similar cases in the UK I believe have lead to prosecution.

Simon853
21st Sep 2005, 07:56
A friend of mine was renting a room in a house once and the owner started being a real git. Just before he moved out my friend went out and found some nice fresh dog doo and discretely inserted it into the owner's car's air vent and heating system.

Si

Ultralights
21st Sep 2005, 08:09
rotting prawn heads only smell for 2 weeks. after that its just a dried up black crusty thing..

Nickoli
21st Sep 2005, 09:03
Many moons ago during my uni days I put a dead fresh fish behind a radiator of somebody that I didi not like:ooh:

Ultralights
21st Sep 2005, 09:11
If you really want stink revenge, take a 2 ltr coke bottle, and pee in it till ist 1/4 full, then put in a few chunks of raw meat, with a cup of full cream milk, and a tub of yogurt. shake the mix up and leave it in a sunny place for 2 weeks!

now the tought bit, after 2 weeks take the green reaking mess, i suggest you use a full face respirator with NEW gas filter, as the smell is increadibly potent and vomiting will rapidly ensue if you get a whif, transfer the stink fluid into a few medical containers, use these as there is no other container that will contain the smell and allow ease of use, once in the medical containers, you can then use a syringe to remove a small amount from the container without smelling anything, once in the syringe, it can be injected between car door seals into seats, or under house doors etc etc.

or you can simply pour the entire contents over someones car... front verandah etc etc

CAT1
21st Sep 2005, 09:16
I have to say that I am really glad I don't know you personally.................

Ultralights
21st Sep 2005, 09:29
haha, it was actually a high school science teacher that told us that one! so of course, we tried it on the school! works well, $30,000 worth of carpet in the offices later!

RiskyRossco
21st Sep 2005, 09:44
Did know a guy who put raw shrimp under the spare wheel of s/one's car. Ironically, some years later he was engaged to a lovely if a little slow in copping on to things lady. I'd sent away for a whistley thingy that affixed inside the tailpipe. Yep, I picked her car.
Naturally, she had to live with the really loud piercing whistle til the next morning and came in a worse nervous wreck than normal. Of course, she came straight to me to demand what I'd done! Poor thing was about going spare for not having found the source.
And, yes, I did feel guilty for inflicting pain on the innocent.
:O ;)

tall and tasty
21st Sep 2005, 09:53
This is a true story from a friend's sister in law who worked in insurance in the US

A lady found out that her husband of many years had been having affairs on and off and the last one had been going for 3 years with someone half his age.

She waited until he had one of his "big meetings" in another state knowing he was off with her and then set to work.

They lived in a large 10 bedroom house his pride and joy the garage of cars that ranged from a Lamborghini to Ferraris, Aston Martins you name it. He is his wisdom had put alot of the cars house etc in her name to get around taxes if anything happened to him.

She sold the house for a dollar the cars for cents and then left after clearing out the joint bank account as she was entitled to make withdrawals without two signatures.

He came back to find nothing left of his life all his clothes everything, house hold effects had gone to charities.

She left a note with the neighbours telling him she had left him and filing for divorce on the grounds of adultery.

He went back to his girlfriend with the sad news that there was nothing and she used superglue to glue a certain appendage in place while he slept because he apparently had been unfaithful to her too

The whole story was logged with the company Laura worked for and made unbelievable reading. The insurance claim was for the medical assistance in the ungluing of certain item from his leg. the funny thing was that the neighbour who the note was left with was Laura! I don't think I have ever laugh so much while being told the story as I did then


TnT

Lon More
21st Sep 2005, 10:09
TnT A similar tale posted here (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=179574&highlight=car+ebay) already. Most of the links have expired but scroll down and the whole sorry tale is revealed.

Chacha
23rd Sep 2005, 15:30
You still can't beat the 'hidden dog shit' scenario! .. :} :E

planepsycho
23rd Sep 2005, 17:20
I caught my now ex husband cheating on me...when I left him, I went through all of the pictures taken of us over the 10 years we were together and cut myself out of every picture ....now he has a pile of photos which show him next to a cutout where I used to be. The wedding pics were great!!:E