View Full Version : Merde Actually

20th Sep 2005, 16:04
Just been bought it as a gift, and as French-bashing is all too common on here I was wondering if anyone had read it? Thoughts? Opinions?

For those who may like it, heres the Synopsis (thanks to Amazon):

"A year after arriving in France, Englishman Paul West is still struggling with some fundamental questions. What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Why do French job applicants put sexually transmitted diseases on their CVs? Why are there no public health warnings on French nudist beaches? And how do you cope with a plague of courgettes? Paul also mutates (temporarily) into a Parisian waiter; samples the pleasures of typically French hotel-room afternoons; and, on a return visit to the UK, sees the full horror of a British office party through Parisian eyes. Meanwhile, he continues his search for the perfect French mademolselle. But will Paul find l'amour eternel, or will it all end in merde?"

20th Sep 2005, 16:13
Aha! Un autre...............:rolleyes:

I wait..................

20th Sep 2005, 16:15
What IS the best way to scare a gendarme?

20th Sep 2005, 16:15
I read "A year in the merde" and found it very funny.
Will definitely buy "Merde actually", hoping it's as good.

20th Sep 2005, 16:16
Paul West = Farrell ????


20th Sep 2005, 18:43
Poo poo occurs = Merde!:E

Gingerbread Man
20th Sep 2005, 20:04
Is it true that in France the Toyota MR2 is called something different becasue of the problems of saying 'MR2' in French?

Croque Monsieur!

Ginger :cool: (I wish there was a smilie with a beret - not that i'm stereotyping, i'm just fashion conscious :p )

Spuds McKenzie
20th Sep 2005, 21:55
I wish there was a smilie with a beret
Your wish may come true:


20th Sep 2005, 22:11
Absolutely true about the MR2.
Spuds, how about a black beret, a moustache, a baguette and a bottle of wine?

20th Sep 2005, 22:13
Gingerbread Man, if you take a look at Toyota France (http://www.toyota.fr) the car's name is only MR, they leave out the "deux"...


There are some more examples of funny car names here (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=12919)


My favourite is the RR Silver Mist...

Metro man
21st Sep 2005, 00:27
Read "Merde" and "Merde Encore", the real French you were never taught at school.

Useful in understanding what they are saying about you when they think you can't speak French.;)

21st Sep 2005, 01:11
"MR2", au français. :D :D

On a écrit quelque-chose dans le vieil sujet sans pensant. Merde. Tant pis.

Always makes me smile to see "Countach". Apparently it's local dialect for "Cor!".

21st Sep 2005, 05:53
Risky you must be the only guy in Turangi with an edjamacation?

21st Sep 2005, 06:09
Cher', bro'! Auouw, bro', tinpis geez, fullah, youse gotta stink name, aow? Nah, bro', I got outta skool early cuz I's smart, cuzzie, not like all those uthah fullahs, they's all full o' sh!- , bro', ow, wuzn't me writin' that fancy sh!-, bro'. You been smoking that 'lectric puha? Cher'. . .
:O :cool:

21st Sep 2005, 07:35
J'ai Lis un an a la merde. Pas mal, pas mal du tout. Je crois que M Draper aimerai ca:rolleyes:

21st Sep 2005, 07:42
I actually read it as well and it is pretty realistic.
Some of the attitudes are very well described.

A shorter book (and a little more insulting) is "A thousand reasons to hate the French" :eek:

Oh, by the way, I have a book called "The Undutchables", also very good as an oberservation of different culture/attitude.

21st Sep 2005, 07:49
To cap it all they're now stowing away to our shores in bunches of flowers (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/shropshire/4264830.stm).Or is this a subversive way of invading us.They haven't been successful since 1066,and then they only did it as Harold was up north at the time.:ok:

Spuds McKenzie
21st Sep 2005, 08:51
Spuds, how about a black beret, a moustache, a baguette and a bottle of wine?
Alors, un français sans beret, mais avec Gauloise Bleu:

Et après, une pièce de baguette sans français:

Finalment, un français qui a bû trop de vin:

Et comme dessert:


21st Sep 2005, 10:34
However, leave us not forget that Johnny Halliday is Belgian, even though he contributes actively to the mass production of merde...

Spuds McKenzie
21st Sep 2005, 10:45
Johnny Halliday is Belgian

Vive la pression belgique (et les pommes frites)!


Tonic Please
21st Sep 2005, 10:59
J'essaye toujours comprendre pourquoi les français ne peut pas dénoter!!

Il y avait des différences frappantes avec l’Angleterre. A mon sens, les Français ne devaient pas conduire. J’étais persuadé qu’ils conduisaient aveuglément, sans se soucier les autres!

:ugh: Et je conduisais chaque jour pour 6 mois!

:suspect: J'étais en colère beaucoup des moments.

I look forward to reading the book!


21st Sep 2005, 11:00
The stowaway frog
... was relatively harmless.I guess relatively is just another word for mostly ;)