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Gordon Fraser
15th Sep 2005, 22:10
Following from today's Huddersfield Examiner.

"Technology continues to advance in leaps and bounds.
Usually it is the Japanese or Americans who make the breakthroughs that lead to smaller mobile phones and ever more sophisticated computers, so it is with a sense of pride that we read about the new machine developed by ROLLS ROYCE to test the windscreens of aircraft. Obviously, a disaster could follow if the glass were to blow out in a 747 or jet fighter at high speed. It is essential that they are strong enough to withstand, for instance, the impact of a flock of geese or migrating birds.
So ROLLS ROYCE scientists have developed a piece of high technology equipment to measure impact and velocity, that to a layman, can best be described as being similar to a gun that fires deceased fowl at differing strengths of plexiglass.
Engineers from the American railway company Amtrak heard about the gun and asked if they could use it to test the windscreens of their new high speed trains. RR were happy to send them one but the Americans were less than happy when the chicken they loaded went straight through the glass,blasted the control consol apart,snapped the drivers seat in half and buried itself in the back wall of the cabin. They contacted ROLLS ROYCE in a panic and sent copies of the design of the windshield and the results of the test and asked for advice.

ROLLS ROYCE replied "DEFROST THE CHICKEN""

con-pilot
15th Sep 2005, 22:35
Oh god, that old joke goes back to the 60s about the Lear Jet.

Jerricho
15th Sep 2005, 23:11
I think I got that once in a snail mail chain letter when I was at school. ;) :E

Take that Snopes! (http://www.snopes.com/science/cannon.htm)

allan907
17th Sep 2005, 09:06
There's a very funny joke about aircrew snag reports and the mechanics answer. I'm sure that none of you have seen it before so here goes...............


Danny.....we need a sticky that all newbies MUST read before being allowed onto the site which contains all the stuff like this. It's gotta save bandwidth - won't it???

sprocket
17th Sep 2005, 10:04
:* Bloody newbies. Should all be banned from posting for the first six months, and not allowed to start a topic for another six months!!!! ....... er what was that one about snag reports? :p

SilsoeSid
17th Sep 2005, 10:10
The frozen chicken one also went round for Westlands and the Lynx development.

(Does this mean it wasn't true? :ugh: )

:(
SS

flowman
17th Sep 2005, 10:13
...and don't forget to ask Davaar what "I'll mak sicaar" means!
:O

Ozzy
17th Sep 2005, 14:36
Why did the frozen chicken cross the road?




'Cos it were attached to the peas.

feckin awful, I know...

I'll get me coat

Ozzy