View Full Version : Interview the person below you..

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13th Sep 2005, 17:42
...by asking him/her ONE single question... (personal, political, cultural...etc)

I'll start.

Which is your favourite name of the 99 names of Allah?

Note: No side-talks, please. It should go like this... question > answer > question > answer.....

Not Question > answer > remark > question > opinion > answer > answer... )

:p :ok: :suspect:

Solid Rust Twotter
13th Sep 2005, 17:45

Do you also wear your underwear on your head?

The Invisible Man
13th Sep 2005, 17:55
No not mine :E

Do you have a lover?

13th Sep 2005, 17:56
Nope, a wife.:)

Name one of 99 ways to leave your lover?

13th Sep 2005, 18:01
On a jet plane.

Do you believe in extraterrestrial life?

13th Sep 2005, 18:08
Yes, there are such beings employed where i work.

What size shoe do you take?

13th Sep 2005, 18:10
13 - and NO it's NOT true!:E (LAPIFC)

Do you like watermelon?

13th Sep 2005, 18:14

What religion does God have?

13th Sep 2005, 18:15
A) none

Q) What are you having for dinner tonight?

13th Sep 2005, 18:16

Why does God have no belief system?

13th Sep 2005, 18:18
The belief system was taken away from him

Q. Does global warming affect brain matter?

13th Sep 2005, 18:18
Because he would have to believe in himself and that would be egotistical and therefore he would not be perfect and therefore he would not be God. (Jeez that's deep.)

Damn - too late - so no question.

13th Sep 2005, 18:20
It does matter that global warming affect brain

Who's on first?

Standard Noise
13th Sep 2005, 18:24
Mahatma Macoat, the Indian cloakroom attendant.

Why am I here?

Lock n' Load
13th Sep 2005, 18:28
To keep you off the streets.

Why doesn't electricity fall out of the wall sockets when nothing's plugged in?

13th Sep 2005, 18:29
Because God said you have to be here.

Why is Wholigan here?

13th Sep 2005, 18:30
Because he's God!

Why is the Earth round?

(Actually it's an oblate spheroid.)

13th Sep 2005, 18:31
It's not round, it is an oblate spheroid.

Why are pringles so moreish?

Standard Noise
13th Sep 2005, 18:34
Dunno, I'll tell you when I've finished this tube.

Is it possible to stop a woman nagging?

13th Sep 2005, 18:34
It doesn't? I meant the electricity, but things move fast here.

Why should that be?

13th Sep 2005, 18:34
Erm, no the Flat earth Society say otherwise! http://www.alaska.net/~clund/e_djublonskopf/Flatearthsociety.htm :p

Damn - beaten by Flypuppy, Davaar and Standard Noise

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?:bored:

13th Sep 2005, 18:35

Why did Wholigan edit his post?

(note - he was editing it at the same time. He tends to get an answer in quickly to try to make the slot - then edit it. ;) )

13th Sep 2005, 18:36
Because he tried mounting all the King's horses.

Is that legal now?

13th Sep 2005, 18:38
Probably not - except perhaps in certain Southern US States.

Isn't the earth a geoid? It's only likened to an oblate spheroid for the sake of simplicity.

13th Sep 2005, 18:39

How long is a piece of string?

13th Sep 2005, 18:39
No it isn't and neither is Muffin the Mule.

Which was the sexiest of the Angels in Captain Scarlet?

13th Sep 2005, 18:40
Cameron Diaz

Obviously, the world is static, the fixed center of the Universe. The sun, planets and stars all revolve around it (although not necessarily in circular paths), in a plane level with the flat Earth.

Is this true? :E

13th Sep 2005, 18:44
Only in my reality.

Why did Wholi edit my post?

'Cos it made more sense in the greater scheme of things than answering your question out of the sequence. Sorry - shan't do it again! (Well after this one.) :E

BTW Cameron Diaz wasn't an Angel.....
The five Angels were Destiny, Symphony, Harmony, Rhapsody and Melody.

13th Sep 2005, 18:50
Because he has too much spare time on his hands.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

13th Sep 2005, 18:54
Because it was stuck on the perverts willy.

What happens when the unstoppable force meets the unmoveable object?

13th Sep 2005, 18:59

what's with the philosophical questions?

13th Sep 2005, 19:05
Why not? (bugger, another question, sub with 'Because')

Why is Orange jam called marmalade?

13th Sep 2005, 19:10
Probably something to do with the name of original oranges

Why do I get the feeling this will turn into the new Trabby?

13th Sep 2005, 19:10

Is Wallace and Gromit the Movie going to be the ruin of Stinking Bishop?

13th Sep 2005, 19:13
It seems that James Keillor was a poor little Dundee lad, down on the docks one day with his mother when a ship came into the Dundee dock with a load of seville oranges. As the crate was being lifted off the ship it was somehow dropped and all these lovely oranges came spilling out. Mrs. Keillor told her wee boy, James, to gather up those oranges so she could take them home and make a jam. And as wee Jeemy was picking up the oranges, Mrs. Keillor, like many a Dundee mother, wanted him to move faster and gather more, so she extolled him "Mair, my laddie. Mair, my laddie.)

13th Sep 2005, 19:14
Good one

Why did SpeedPig not read the intent of the thread?

13th Sep 2005, 19:15
How come you guys can post so fast?

13th Sep 2005, 19:15
Only in Gloucestershire... oh, and lubrication.

What happened to the 'interview' style questions?

13th Sep 2005, 19:17
Like every thread it rapidly goes off topic.

What's for supper?

13th Sep 2005, 19:18
Without style there is no substance.

Why is there no substance to this thread?

13th Sep 2005, 19:21
The pith has been taken out of the orange.

When's the bar open?

gas path
13th Sep 2005, 19:24
Because it has no topic

Does a topic really have a hazlenut in every bite?

13th Sep 2005, 19:26
When Niagara Falls.

Who scored the goal?

(blast! 3 minutes too late!)

13th Sep 2005, 19:27
No but squirell s**t does...

Who thinks of these?

DX Wombat
13th Sep 2005, 20:19
You do.
Why do you do it?

13th Sep 2005, 21:08

back on topic,,,

Q: DxWombat, what's yer Ham Callsign?:ok:

13th Sep 2005, 21:25
I dunno.

Why did it take me till page 4 to get here?

13th Sep 2005, 21:35
Because you came too late (that's a first).

Whats a 'widgie'?

13th Sep 2005, 21:38
A New Zealand version of a wedgie!

Why is the sky blue?

13th Sep 2005, 21:43
Link (http://www.sciencemadesimple.com/sky_blue.html)

Why did I bother to answer Jezza's question?

Incipient Sinner
13th Sep 2005, 21:50
Because you wanted to show off about your googling ability.

Where do babies come from??

13th Sep 2005, 21:54
Cabbage patches or storks, I think.

Why do birds sing so gay and why is the month of May?


13th Sep 2005, 22:00
Cause they've watched too much "Queer eye for the straight guy"

Why does single malt Whisky taste so damn good?

13th Sep 2005, 22:04
Because water is boring.

Why donít snakes have legs?

13th Sep 2005, 22:09
Cause with a body that long it would take fricken ages for them to do their shoes up.

Will this thread go a long as Plazbot's never ending sentence (which thank god has dies a death)

13th Sep 2005, 22:22
Probably not, but it will go longer than the "Let's count to 1,000,000" thread 'cos that's been censored to 1,000 and has nearly finished.

How come spiders are so scary, when they are so small?

13th Sep 2005, 22:32
Because they are punishment from God for the likes of VFE and RaraAvis.

Why am I here?

13th Sep 2005, 22:33
Watch Monty Python's "Meaning of Life" Weeble-F ;)

What is so funny about pie!?!

13th Sep 2005, 22:47
pie just is funny, it's the cream you see.

why is it?

I Love This Show
13th Sep 2005, 23:22

And to get this back on track - is this thread somehow aviation related?

13th Sep 2005, 23:42
no, are they ever?

14th Sep 2005, 00:00
Yup, there's one floating around... somewhere:hmm:

But should they be?:confused:

14th Sep 2005, 02:00
Do extraterrestrials have testicles?

Astra driver
14th Sep 2005, 02:10
Yes, they have Extra-Testicles!

Are your testicles too little?

14th Sep 2005, 02:28
No - too large.

Whatever happened to Little and Large?

Atlas Shrugged
14th Sep 2005, 02:45
They got bigger and better

Why does Napalm smell in the morning?

I Love This Show
14th Sep 2005, 03:20
because it doesn't shower before it goes to bed.

How do "do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

14th Sep 2005, 03:41
they get dropped out of airplanes.

to be or not to be?

14th Sep 2005, 04:50
That is the question!

Why can't we kee dees appl piepods?

Lock n' Load
14th Sep 2005, 08:20
They're microscopic.

What colour underwear are you wearing?

14th Sep 2005, 08:21
Don't want to reveal my pants to all my colleagues....

Who would win in a fight between Dale Winton and Keith Chegwin?

14th Sep 2005, 08:27
The viewers, but only if it was a fight to the death....

What was the last hardback book you bought?

The Invisible Man
14th Sep 2005, 08:38
Paint by numbers ( hard back edition)

When swallows migrate South for the winter, do they build nests and have chicks again?

14th Sep 2005, 09:21

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

14th Sep 2005, 09:27
What has that got to do with this job application? (This is supposed to be an interview, isn't it?)

Where do you see yourself in five years' time?

14th Sep 2005, 09:32
Five years older

Why not?

14th Sep 2005, 09:54

Have you ever written a book?

Standard Noise
14th Sep 2005, 09:58
Yes, last time I was involved in an Airprox (it felt like I was writing War and Peace).

Why can the Met Office not get a bloody forecast right?

14th Sep 2005, 10:06
The Met Office always get the forecast right, they just the places wrong - they need a course in geography.

What's 13 across, in The Times? I'm stuck.

14th Sep 2005, 10:15

Where are my car keys?

14th Sep 2005, 10:22
Same place as your wristwatch...

Why do farts smell worse in the bathtub?

Burnt Fishtrousers
14th Sep 2005, 10:24
Not if youve just had a sh!te they dont

Have you ever been struck by lightning ( not the cyclist mentioned in another forum)

Lon More
14th Sep 2005, 10:26
Only, by White Lightning, and felt like :mad: in the morning.


S2A Pictures
14th Sep 2005, 10:28
Wasn't me ... sure of it ... Col Mustard apparently ...

Did we win the cricket? If so, by how many goals?

Standard Noise
14th Sep 2005, 10:30
Yes, 14 and a half to 7 and a quarter.

Why is the England footy team sh1te?

14th Sep 2005, 10:42
'Cos they don't know their @rse from their elbow

Why do women manage to spend more than their salary?

14th Sep 2005, 10:42
They're not...everybody else is too good!

What would you rather be or a wasp?

Echo Zulu Yankee
14th Sep 2005, 10:45

What do McDonalds make burgers from?

Standard Noise
14th Sep 2005, 10:53
Don't be silly, even McDonalds don't know the answer to that question?

Why does whiskey make you frisky and brandy make you randy?

14th Sep 2005, 10:57
the same reason beer makes me look at your rear.

why does my clock not match up with pprune's clock?

14th Sep 2005, 11:00
Maybe your watch battery is dead?

Beer or lager?

14th Sep 2005, 11:00
Dont know and dont care. :E :E

What are the definitions of Ignorance and Apathy

Standard Noise
14th Sep 2005, 11:05
Here, yer not allowed to answer yer own question!

Why do people do that?

14th Sep 2005, 11:06
Because there always has to be one who tries to ruin a good thing.

Length or girth?

14th Sep 2005, 11:08
Ask the missus ;)

Dogs or cats?

Standard Noise
14th Sep 2005, 11:09
Dogs, their claws aren't as sharp.

Sheep or goats?:E

14th Sep 2005, 11:11
Sheep - better suited to my velcro gloves :E

Is being perverted immoral?

Standard Noise
14th Sep 2005, 11:29
I suppose it depends whether it's immoral with sheep rather than dogs?

Am I going mad, first Big Cocks, now dogs and sheep?:bored:

The Invisible Man
14th Sep 2005, 11:32
No not going mad just expanding your horizons!

If I shine my torch into the clear night sky how far does the light travel and how do you know?

( Standard ... so being so blikin quick with replies!)

Devlin Carnet
14th Sep 2005, 11:34
It lights up the back of your head.

Why is it so bloody hard to get an iPod fixed?

rhythm method
14th Sep 2005, 11:37
Because it's almost impossible to find the stylus.

How did George Bush con the Americans into making him president?

14th Sep 2005, 11:39
Flouride in the water.

Why do dining tables come with 6 chairs?

14th Sep 2005, 11:47
Because 6 takes into account the in-laws. One each for you and the wife, two for mom and dad, and one each for the wifes mom and dad.

Speaking of in-laws ,do you prefer having sex on the couch, in the bed or on the dining room table?

14th Sep 2005, 11:48
None of the above, the shower works better.

why does carpet burn hurt so much?

rhythm method
14th Sep 2005, 11:51
Because the chin is covered with very sensitive skin.

What was the $64000 question?

14th Sep 2005, 12:02
Why do you want the money?

How long have you had that embarrasing itch?

Minty Fresh
14th Sep 2005, 12:04
Since I read the Shaving 101 thread

What colours the sky in your world?

tall and tasty
14th Sep 2005, 12:07
Grey but should turn a lovely blue by this afternoon

What is your favourite position?



14th Sep 2005, 12:11
In charge.

What will the weather hold tomorrow

14th Sep 2005, 12:13
for the brits... sh*t weather, for my residence... bright sunny day ;)

How long till the next full moon?

14th Sep 2005, 12:14
In my part of the world more rain.

Should vegetarians be allowed to eat animal crackers?:hmm:

14th Sep 2005, 12:20
Yes - with beef tomatoes.
How does the snow plough driver get to work?

Standard Noise
14th Sep 2005, 12:29
He follows the chicken across the road.

What is the bod rate of the AFTN?

14th Sep 2005, 12:30
4km per second

What's the capital of Uranus:suspect:

14th Sep 2005, 12:33

Can a man ever win an argument with a woman?

14th Sep 2005, 12:35
Hold on while I ask the missus.
How low can you get?

14th Sep 2005, 12:36

Why is a rainbow named a rainbow and not a rain arch?:uhoh:

rhythm method
14th Sep 2005, 12:54
It was named after a Judy Garland song.

Why does lite beer weigh the same as regular beer?

Solid Rust Twotter
14th Sep 2005, 12:56
It's the Tasmanian beer atom, you know.....

What is the relevance of why?

tall and tasty
14th Sep 2005, 12:58
so little children can use it 1000 times a day

How long is a piece of string?

TnT ;)

Minty Fresh
14th Sep 2005, 13:00
Twice half its length

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

14th Sep 2005, 13:09
Becasue the guy who invented the word was sadistic. (Little known fact:- he was the same guy who named the word lisp)

Why did they make stupidmarket trolles have four fully castering wheels instead of only the front two?

14th Sep 2005, 13:13
So' s you gotta spend more time going round corners which is where the spesh offers are at.

Why does Tea taste better with milk than without:confused:

Biggles Flies Undone
14th Sep 2005, 13:13
So thay go one better than blondes and have a mind of their own.

What ever happened to white dog poo?

Oh bugger - Punter beat me so now I'll never know :{

14th Sep 2005, 13:19
baldrick used it as milk substitute during the great war.

Why was WW1 great

14th Sep 2005, 13:30
It was the only one they had at the time.

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

14th Sep 2005, 13:31
It wasn't it was all propoganda.

Why is mother nature so evil?

Got beaten to it.

14th Sep 2005, 13:33
She has Jerricho as a son in law.

Where is Timbuctoo located?

14th Sep 2005, 13:33
Because if there were two it'd be the Oligopolies Commission.

South of Timbucone.

Where is the centre of the universe?

Biggles Flies Undone
14th Sep 2005, 13:40
Between the 'i' and the 'r'

Why am I doing this?

rhythm method
14th Sep 2005, 13:41
If it's a trick question, it's between the 'v' and the 'e'. If it's a serious question, it's in a broom cupboard at 14 Ashton Street, in Peckham.

How do dogs know to lift a leg to pee?

damn, beaten to it!

14th Sep 2005, 13:42
Because they soon get peed off getting a wet foot.

Why has the next poster got dreadful bodily odour?

Gordon Fraser
14th Sep 2005, 13:44
Curses - beaten to the 'Universe' trolling through 146,000,000 pages on subject in Google
How highs a chinaman?

Fg Off Max Stout
14th Sep 2005, 13:44
A. Because I haven't got round to burying it under the patio yet.

Q. Is this a rhetorical question?

14th Sep 2005, 13:46

Have you ever seen a horse fly?

Gordon Fraser
14th Sep 2005, 13:47
Sorry - spelling error ere again

How Hi's a chinaman

14th Sep 2005, 13:48
Because otherwise they would keep weeing on their leg.

Do blondes know that they have more fun?

(Oops - too late again)

I Love This Show
14th Sep 2005, 13:55
Y is the crooked letter which can't be straightened.

Is it more than coincidence that "Mother In Law" is an anagram for "Woman Hitler"?

14th Sep 2005, 13:57
No, definitely not.

What is the square root of 0?

14th Sep 2005, 14:02
A box shape

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?

I Love This Show
14th Sep 2005, 14:07


Why do people who know the least, know it the loudest?

14th Sep 2005, 14:53
Due to the fact of knowing absoluetly nothing and learning something new for the first time is a great thrill for them:zzz:

If X = Y, what is X and Y?

14th Sep 2005, 14:57
X=4Z/2 Y=2Z

Is it time to go home yet?

14th Sep 2005, 14:59
Yes. Yesterday!

Why is my fact cow of a neighbour a fat cow?

14th Sep 2005, 15:02
Because there is more eating on her, andshe would keep you warm on a cold winter's night.

Why won't anyone buy my house?

14th Sep 2005, 15:07
Whenever the Federal Reserve says so.

I have killed the neighbours, do you think the new patio is putting people off?

14th Sep 2005, 15:10

Have you any idea how long I've been waiting for the right sort of question to be asked? :\

14th Sep 2005, 15:13
Who cares?

14th Sep 2005, 15:13

What is the right question?

14th Sep 2005, 15:18
The difference between right and wrong.

Is a snail quicker than an ostrich at flying?

14th Sep 2005, 15:18
What is the answer? That is the question.

What do you say?

14th Sep 2005, 15:22
I Say Hey

Whats Going On? (http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Whats-Going-On-lyrics-4-Non-Blondes/96E348CBE1CA66C948256BEA0005CB62)


14th Sep 2005, 16:13
A song by Marvin Gay me thinks..but thats not important right now.....

Does my bum look big in this?

14th Sep 2005, 16:21
Yes it does.

Should I paint my living room yellow? Would more people be interested in buying my house then?

rhythm method
14th Sep 2005, 16:35
No, too cheesy!!!

Why did you ask 2 questions?

14th Sep 2005, 16:54
because I have more questions than answers.

What should I have for dinner tonight?

14th Sep 2005, 16:59
Satay beef

Are you a virgin?

14th Sep 2005, 17:00
Nope..wife just said i'm not!

If i'm 29 years old what does that make me in light years?

14th Sep 2005, 17:07
Depends how tall you are and what your favourite colour is.

Which would win the fight - tiger vs. lion?

14th Sep 2005, 17:09
Tiger tank crushes a lion bar everytime.

Should I have rice with that?

S2A Pictures
14th Sep 2005, 17:09
Only if you think it won't constipate you ...

How much money is Richard Branson worth?

14th Sep 2005, 17:11
More than you or I will ever earn.

Is it raining with you?

14th Sep 2005, 17:35
Yep. In spells.

Should I go to work tomorrow?

14th Sep 2005, 17:37
No, unless you have something interesting to do there.

Are the Proclaimers for real?

14th Sep 2005, 17:43
No, they're Scottish.

Why do shoes squeak?

14th Sep 2005, 17:45
because you havent oiled them.

What is so surreal about being Scottish?

14th Sep 2005, 17:52
Nothing surreal about me!

Like shoes, do mice stop squeaking once you oil them?

14th Sep 2005, 17:58
Depends how much oil you use.

Do I exist in my own reality?

The Invisible Man
14th Sep 2005, 18:19
Who said that

Anyone having sex?

14th Sep 2005, 18:24
Only with myself.

I do exist but only existentially, do you?

The Invisible Man
14th Sep 2005, 18:27
Who said that.. I keep hearing noises but no-one there.

Anyone having sex?

14th Sep 2005, 19:03
No-one proons while having sex (I challenge any prooner to contradict that one!).

Why are you obsessed with sex?

14th Sep 2005, 19:27
I have always been obsessed with sex, especially when prooning.

I think, therefore I am. Do you? :hmm:

14th Sep 2005, 19:36
I don't, therefore I'm not.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

14th Sep 2005, 19:45
To get away from tilewood

Why does he like sex with a chicken

14th Sep 2005, 19:49
Because a cock and a chicken make a good match.

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

S2A Pictures
14th Sep 2005, 20:03
Don't know off hand, but will write to my MP - let's bring this into the public domain.

Has anyone ever stolen something REALLY interesting and expensive?

14th Sep 2005, 20:14
Sure. Check out the British Museum.

Why did Australia lose the Ashes?

Lon More
14th Sep 2005, 20:33
They left them on the bus

Why is page 10 of this thread wider than my monitor?

14th Sep 2005, 20:53
It must be a local problem, Lon.

Why on earth am I listening to Radio Tay via the net?

rhythm method
14th Sep 2005, 21:37
Because, otherwise, you would have to actually be there!

Why is bellybutton fluff always blue?

Lon More
14th Sep 2005, 21:38
Comes from Blue movies?

Question and answer in one

15th Sep 2005, 19:37
So to carry on..this thread won't go to the dogs just yet..

Have you ever cut your nostril whilst shaving?

15th Sep 2005, 19:45
No, but I believe that baby oil aids the healing process.

Why are my hangovers worse than anybody elses?

15th Sep 2005, 19:51
You may think that I couldn't possibly comment.

Why are Wagon Wheels smaller than when I was a kid?

15th Sep 2005, 19:57
It's just you're hands are getting bigger.

In your autobiography you mention you like wrapping yourself up in masking tape and crawling around on the floor in soap suds. Why do you do this?

Onans Girlfriend
15th Sep 2005, 20:09
Try it then you would not need to ask why.

Has anybody missed me?

15th Sep 2005, 20:29
Who are you?

What's the capital of Jupiter?

Darth Nigel
15th Sep 2005, 21:16
That would be "J".

Why do women have orgasms (allegedly)?

tall and tasty
15th Sep 2005, 21:35
Gives us something pleasurable to look forward to after a long day at work.

What is the best way to serve an oyster?


15th Sep 2005, 21:38
Wearing a clean pinny.

Why do my armpits smell of garlic the night after a curry?

15th Sep 2005, 21:48
Because you are trying to discourage vampires!

Is there any truth in the rumour.......?

S2A Pictures
15th Sep 2005, 21:49
None whatsoever - and I will see you in court if you disagree ...

Why are my American neighbours so f***ing noisy?

15th Sep 2005, 21:59
Because your walls are too thin.

Should I do it tonight?

15th Sep 2005, 22:03
NO! Friday night is much more satisfying,

Why are nobbies nuts smaller than KPs?

15th Sep 2005, 22:11
Because KP has just had a hot bath.

One is hanging lower than the other, is that normal?

16th Sep 2005, 00:39
I'll need to take a closer look.

Where does all the 'Personal Title' money go:confused:

16th Sep 2005, 00:56
A: maybe

Q: World's shorted ghost story. The last person on earth is alone in a dark room. Suddenly there's a knock on the door!


16th Sep 2005, 01:01

Wilma or Betty?

16th Sep 2005, 01:18
Betty 120%

Left-handed or Right-handed?

16th Sep 2005, 01:59
Right - handed

Why do you have 7 goats tied up in your bed?

16th Sep 2005, 02:37
Because you're a rich bar-stweward.

Why do dogs walk into a room and then stare?

16th Sep 2005, 06:52
At least one.

What numbers should I choose to win the lottery this week?

16th Sep 2005, 07:19
The winning ones. :E

Why do you cook bacon but bake cookies?

16th Sep 2005, 07:27
I don't. I bake bacon and cook cookies :yuk:.

Where's the beef?

16th Sep 2005, 07:39
Right here.

What are the winning lottery numbers?

16th Sep 2005, 07:50
The ones on my ticket. :}

If you fill a glass with ice, pour in water and wait for the ice to melt, will it overflow? :E

Need for Speed!
16th Sep 2005, 08:19

Dogís love sticking their heads out of car windows, so why do they hate you blowing in their face?

Lock n' Load
16th Sep 2005, 08:37
Mother Nature uses breath mints; you don't.

Do walls really have ears?

16th Sep 2005, 09:18
Only on a corn ranch. :p

Is a de-caffienated coffee table any different?

16th Sep 2005, 09:35
Yes, it's weaker.

Will I be a millionaire one day?

16th Sep 2005, 09:46
Nah. There's a rule against having ALL that AND money.

Why does a duck?

16th Sep 2005, 10:00
Eider know.

What's for dinner?

16th Sep 2005, 10:02
chicken chow mein with veggie spring rolls and a spicy sauce.

Should lesbians be allowed to use vibrators?

Standard Noise
16th Sep 2005, 10:08
Good god no, except in DVD's.

If they're only part time traffic lights, what are they the rest of the time?

16th Sep 2005, 10:08
(By66er! missed)

They're disco ornaments.

Why is six afraid of seven?

16th Sep 2005, 10:11
Because Seven Ate Nine.

Why is there brail on drive-thru ATM's?

16th Sep 2005, 10:16
For getting cash on those late, boozy nights when we're all a bit vision-impaired.

'Ullo 'ullo, what's all this then?

Standard Noise
16th Sep 2005, 10:18
"Sorry occifer, jusht orf to the ATMmmmmmm, hic!"

And what does an occasional table do when it's not?

tall and tasty
16th Sep 2005, 10:21
Becomes a side board

Why do men prefer blonds?

TnT :p

16th Sep 2005, 10:23
Because they're smart (the guys, I mean).

Say, what time do you finish?

16th Sep 2005, 10:30
Most of the time "TOO BL**DY SOON!!"

I've made a chocky cake. Want some?

Biggles Flies Undone
16th Sep 2005, 10:32
No thanks, I prefer curry.

Why do they call a hot thing chilli?

16th Sep 2005, 11:45
Because they have a sense of humour...

Are we nearly there yet?

16th Sep 2005, 13:11
Hope so sugar ;)

Whats hot, red and fast and likes to be treated mean?

16th Sep 2005, 13:23
My Ferrari 365 GTB4 Daytona

What is on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far out of his pajamas you could hang a hat on it?

16th Sep 2005, 13:25
A fat, bulbous belly botton:yuk:

What's you party trick?

16th Sep 2005, 13:29
I can lick your elbow.

Am I a pervert?

Standard Noise
16th Sep 2005, 13:31
Yes! But that's OK, perverts need love to.

How much belly button fluff does the average sized belly button produce in a lifetime?

16th Sep 2005, 13:40
Enough for a tennis ball.

Does Jericho really have a job?

rhythm method
16th Sep 2005, 13:43
Blow me.

Was that an answer?

Standard Noise
16th Sep 2005, 13:57
In certain parts of the world, it's a request for sexual services!

How do they say it in Welsh?

16th Sep 2005, 14:05
No idea, it sounds all Dutch to me.

three ffrogs on a lily pad. One decides to jump off. How many left?

Biggles Flies Undone
16th Sep 2005, 14:07
One left, the other two remained.

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear seat belts?

16th Sep 2005, 14:13
To keep them from bailing out -- once fastened, they couldn't be undone.

What is it a man can do standing up, a woman sitting down, and a dog on three legs?

16th Sep 2005, 14:17
Shake hands.

Did you resign from your last job or were you fired?

16th Sep 2005, 14:18
I resigned. I was fired from the one prior.

Are you a Turtle?

16th Sep 2005, 14:22
You bet your sweet ass I am

What does a cow have four of and a women has only two of?

16th Sep 2005, 14:37
Could we have anudder question please Ozzy?! Oh OK, big toes.

Why do so many people in their 40s find themselves needing glasses? (I think there might be a claim to be made against "you know who"...)

rhythm method
16th Sep 2005, 14:43
By the time they are in their 40s they have given up drinking straight from the bottle.

Who invented road rage?

Biggles Flies Undone
16th Sep 2005, 14:44
Because contact lenses don't hold enough beer.

Why do Turkeys look forward to Christmas?

16th Sep 2005, 14:47
They don't they look sideways.

When is a Scotsman happy to go to the bar?

16th Sep 2005, 14:57
1) The first driver of a vehicule powered by an internal-combustion engine.
2) Turkeys like to express their gratitude.
3) When an English git from the city is buying.

How many tigers left in the wild before people stop having a third child?

16th Sep 2005, 15:42

Who do you love?

tall and tasty
16th Sep 2005, 15:47
Not telling............my secret :E

What is your favourite animal ?


Biggles Flies Undone
16th Sep 2005, 15:49
Charlotte Church.

What is your favourite sausage?

16th Sep 2005, 16:08
Leek and Pork

What should I eat my sausage with?

rhythm method
16th Sep 2005, 16:13
A good fork.

do you double-dip?

+'ve ROC
16th Sep 2005, 16:26
No, but there are plenty of websites that cater for that kind of thing.

How many toes do dogs have?

rhythm method
16th Sep 2005, 16:37
Depends on how sharp their teeth are and how quick you can run.

Why did I waken up at a bus-stop wearing only underwear and stilettos this morning?