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Akrotiri bad boy
13th Sep 2005, 16:33
Having just returned from a four flight jaunt around the Baltic I find myself suffering from a severe case of tinitus.

The ringing and whistling in my lugs has not been brought on by jet noise etc but rather the incessant screaming of brats in the cabin.

As a result of my torment I hereby propose the introduction of a new tax on air transport passengers to be known as Selfish Surcharge Tax (SST) . Any parent/passenger selfish enough to carry on board a child whose development has not yet reached a stage where its ears self pop during the flight will be charged a full fare ticket for said child.

This tax is designed to deter parents from inflicting their offspring on fellow passengers whilst explaining the incessant wailing is the cause of the child having a cold or an ear infection. You don't fool us! You're just damn selfish and want to have your cake and eat it as well.

A simple bit of tax avoidance is possible; either leave the brat at home or wait 'til its old enough to appreciate the trip.

hemac
13th Sep 2005, 17:09
Why don't you get an arm extension, dig a bit deeper into your pockets and buy a first class ticket.
They are the people who can afford to leave the kids at home with the nanny, so you will be able to fly in peace. Apart from the incessant whinging that the Champagne isn't cold enough, etc.

H.

Standard Noise
13th Sep 2005, 18:26
Am I the only one of the 76 pruners who looked at this thread who thought he was going to see something about Concorde?

Shouldn't this be in SLF ?

BombayDuck
14th Sep 2005, 05:52
Am I the only one of the 76 pruners who looked at this thread who thought he was going to see something about Concorde?

Nope. :( :uhoh:

Echo Zulu Yankee
14th Sep 2005, 08:20
Why don't you get an arm extension, dig a bit deeper into your pockets and buy a first class ticket.

Because you get screaming kids there too! - after recently saving up the hard earned to fly to Hong Kong in First I was more than a little annoyed when into the cabin strolls a family of 4 who looked like they had shopped at Primark and bought a bulk pack of "Leggings" and then stopped at H Samuels on the way home and bought every bit of gold they could possibly cover themselves with.

Screaming kids and swearing the whole flight...what got me is the 10 minute argument with the very civil Flight attendant because the kids wanted chips with their meal.

So its no better on the other side of the curtain either!

EzY

Dak Mechanic
14th Sep 2005, 08:31
All kids under the age of 14 should go in the hold, with the other baggage and animals.

JC

(yes I'm still not smoking - can you tell?)

Standard Noise
14th Sep 2005, 10:27
Personally, I'd be happy with the animals in the cabin, they're better behaved than kids!

Taildragger55
14th Sep 2005, 11:07
Some skydiver friends of mine were on a commercial flight and took their altimeters into the cabin with them, as one does.
As usual they registered about 8,000 feet.
Midway through the flight all the brats on board began to wail simultaneously.
The guys looked at their altis which now registered 13,000, before slowly going back down to 8,000.
The guys exchanged anxious glances and debated taking their rigs as hand luggage in future.
So don't always blame the brats.

rhythm method
14th Sep 2005, 11:42
Shiiiiit!

I thought I'd got away with that, but now you've shopped me!

:D

Onan the Clumsy
14th Sep 2005, 12:21
because the kids wanted chips with their meal Just what we need...a chip fryer on an aeroplane :ooh:

manintheback
14th Sep 2005, 12:33
It was a fantastic day when I finally had kids of my own to take on board and get my revenge. They are complete monsters these days but fortunately old enough to go as unaccompanied minors in the back while the wife and I travel up front