View Full Version : Best movie lines (merged)

captain cumulonimbus
3rd Sep 2005, 00:39
From Van Wilder,Party Liaison:"i came here to learn the great american art of muffdiving...i want to smack clam,munch rug,i want to do how is it...park the porpoise.I want to take it to the car wash,yes,and wax it,you know,and air dry that sh*t!.Yes,that is why i want to be yor personal assistant,mr Wilder".

Said by a short,nerdy indian lad who just wanted to get laid in the US of A.Spilled my coke when i heard that!:D

3rd Sep 2005, 01:45
Seem to recall this theme revamped previous, via other incarnations.
Still, always worth the craic. :D

"America is advanced citizenship.
You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's
gonna put up a fight. It's gonna
say, "You want free speech? Let's
see you acknowledge a man whose words
make your blood boil, who's standing
center stage and advocating, at the
top of his lungs, that which you
would spend a lifetime opposing at the
top of yours. You want to claim
this land as the land of the free,
then the symbol of your country can't
just be a flag; the symbol also has
to be one of its citizens exercising
his right to burn that flag in
protest." Show me that, defend that,
celebrate that in your classrooms.
Then you can stand up and sing about
the land of the free."

- The American President.

3rd Sep 2005, 02:19
"You like that, don't ya bitch!!!!"

Saddam Hussein to Satan.
South Park; Bigger, Longer and Uncut.

3rd Sep 2005, 02:23
Anything said by Avy Scott.

3rd Sep 2005, 02:51
Actually, I've changed my mind.

I vote for Tinnie's suggestion. Twice.

3rd Sep 2005, 06:30
"Do that button up lad! Where the hell d'you think you are?"

From 'Zulu' - CSM to a soldier in the ranks, just before the Zulus' first charge.

Buster Hyman
3rd Sep 2005, 07:13
There are two kinds of people I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch.

:ok: (http://www.jahozafat.com/cgi-bin/mp3s.cgi?Austin_Powers_In_Goldmember=thedutch.mp3)

tony draper
3rd Sep 2005, 07:21
"Will some of you men get that man off the ground and into it"

" Keep the change Bob"

Pat Garret and Billy the Kid


3rd Sep 2005, 07:32

I'm being serious (for the one and only time, mind you, so don't expect any more).

The Miracle Worker. (story of Helen Keller).

Helen suddenly realises the meaning of signing.

One of the most moving film endings I've ever seen. :{ :{ :{

Ian Corrigible
3rd Sep 2005, 07:32
"No, I slug 'em in the jaw and yell 'pop goes the weasel.' "

- Samual L. Jackson, Long Kiss Goodnight.


3rd Sep 2005, 07:53
"Is that you John Wayne?"

Matthew Modine as Private Joker. Full Metal Jacket.

3rd Sep 2005, 08:29
".....every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around"


"it's the little things...there's nothing bigger."

from Vanilla Sky

3rd Sep 2005, 08:57
" Anybody else, find anything funny, when I mention my friend, Bigus Diccus ?? " This scene still has me rolling when they're trying not to laugh - genius !


3rd Sep 2005, 09:07
I forgot this one ! :O

What he says next is what really keels me over,

"He has a wife, you know. .. . Incontinentia.. . . Incontinentia Buttox!!"

:D :D :D

henry crun
3rd Sep 2005, 09:13
Capt L E G Oates played by Derek Bond
"I am just going outside and may be some time".

3rd Sep 2005, 09:15
"One cross each ..."

:D :D :D

High Wing Drifter
3rd Sep 2005, 09:18
"I do two things in life, chew gum and kick ass. An' I'm right outta gum" (que background sound of shotgun being cocked).

Stereotypically American, but I p1ssed myself nonetheless. I can't remember the film. "Night of the Zombies" or something I think.

3rd Sep 2005, 09:50
Frank: That's the red-light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging around down there.

Ed: Sex, Frank?

Frank: Uh, no, not right now, Ed. We've got work to do.

from the Naked Gun

3rd Sep 2005, 10:02
"..Keep 'em at 35,000............................No, feet! "

Captain Rex Kramer talking to ATC whilst en route to the airport to talk down the stricken airliner.
Airplane the movie.


3rd Sep 2005, 10:07
Lesley Neilson[/B: Nice beaver....
[B]Priscilla Presley : Thankyou, I just had it stuffed.


(Naked Gun)

3rd Sep 2005, 12:33
"Yeh! That's it! Right there! Don't stop! Uuuurghhhh!"

Can't remember the film title. :rolleyes:

Jump Complete
3rd Sep 2005, 12:38
"We're gonna need a bigger boat!"
You all know where it's from.

3rd Sep 2005, 12:39
He ranks highly in Wome, does Biggus:D

3rd Sep 2005, 12:49
"you're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!!"...Michael Caine...The Italian Job.

:ok: :ok: :ok:

3rd Sep 2005, 13:26
"I kick arse for the LORD!"
Father McGruder - Braindead.

3rd Sep 2005, 13:46
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this instance by an 'orrible c**t... me.....

Bricktop - SNATCH



Yeah London, you know, fish, chips, cup o' tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-f*cking-Poppins London


3rd Sep 2005, 14:29
Two lines from the movie Patton:

[Clergyman] I was interested to see a Bible by your bed. You actually find time to read it?

[Patton] I sure do. Every goddamned day...

3rd Sep 2005, 14:33
From Top Gun:

"Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash!"


3rd Sep 2005, 15:23
Don't wake me friend, he's dead tired

--Arnie in Commando

3rd Sep 2005, 15:34
Al Pacino in The Godfather:

' He made him an offer he couldn't refuse.....he told him, either his brains or his signature would be on the contract. ':uhoh:

Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction:

' I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherf:mad:er, motherf:mad:er. I'm super fried TNT.' :cool:

3rd Sep 2005, 15:38
"Gooooooood Morning Vietnam!"

3rd Sep 2005, 15:50
Has to be this, I know it's a little long but its excellent when delivered by Westhoughton most famous person!

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycocks. This shark, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

3rd Sep 2005, 15:57
"I do two things in life, chew gum and kick ass. An' I'm right outta gum" (que background sound of shotgun being cocked).

Rowdy Roddy Piper in John Carpenter's They Live

Cracking line that!

There was also another I heard, but can't remember the film:

"Your ass is grass and I'm a lawnmower!"

shut that door
3rd Sep 2005, 16:01
"let me explain to the viewers at home, a Focker is a German fighter plane, no no said Dutch, these Fockers were Meschersmits"

From the movie Dr Strangelove (out takes)

3rd Sep 2005, 16:15
Don't give me them negative waves, man! (Kelly's Heroes)

If he'd just pay me the money he's payin' for me to stop robbin' him, I'd stop robbin' him! (Butch Cassidy)

Also agree with; "We're gonna need a bigger boat". Classic.

3rd Sep 2005, 16:24
Anna Nicole Smith's character to Frank Drebin in one of the Naked Gun films:

"Is this some kind of bust?"

Frank's reply (looking down at her ample cleavage):

"Well it's very nice ......... but that's not why we're here!"

And there's the one in Airplane where someone mentions the flight deck .......... and the other person says:

"The flight deck, what is it?!!" (Meaning what's wrong?)

The reply:

"Well it's a little room at the front of the aircraft where the pilots sit!" :} :}

High Wing Drifter
3rd Sep 2005, 16:43
"I think it's time for a pint Lewis."

3rd Sep 2005, 16:48
"Pleased to mate you.'

Ave Ventura: Pet Detective

3rd Sep 2005, 17:23
..er Houston, We've got a problem - Tom Hanks Apollo 13.

Was the response "Bobby Brown married your daughter!"

3rd Sep 2005, 18:56

Das Boot

3rd Sep 2005, 19:10
"Come up and see me some time..Jerricho"

Avy Scott.

Ian Corrigible
3rd Sep 2005, 19:22
"I do two things in life, chew gum and kick ass. An' I'm right outta gum" (que background sound of shotgun being cocked).

There's a similar line in Spartan: "I've only got two things for you boys: that's a stiff d1ck and bubblegum. And guess what, I'm out of bubblegum."

Great film, btw.


3rd Sep 2005, 20:06
Why don't you leave her alone.... YOU BITCH !! Sigourney Weaver in Aliens.

Shaggy Sheep Driver
3rd Sep 2005, 20:06
"You can teach.... monkeys to fly better than that!".

Battle of Britain.


3rd Sep 2005, 20:14
Film: Carry on up the Khyber
Actor: Bernard Bresslaw

Scene: In the Pass, Bresslaw is aide to the King (or whatever), sees approach of unwanted fakir, waves him away dismissively and says "Fakir, off!!" Laughed for years afterwards... in fact still laughing... easily pleased I suppose..

3rd Sep 2005, 20:33
This is my rifle! There are many like it, but this one is mine! My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, like I master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true! I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me! I will! Before God, I swear this creed...My rifle and myself are defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life! So be it! Until there is no enemy! But Peace! And that!

Private Pyle

3rd Sep 2005, 20:40
dagga, dagga, dagga, dagga!!!!;)

3rd Sep 2005, 20:48
Fernando, I've got that on DVD, but still.....
I REALLY hope you haven't memorised it.

stepping back away reeeeeeeeeeeeal slow

3rd Sep 2005, 20:55
It's a 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas and half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it

3rd Sep 2005, 21:00
From Lock Stock

Dog: What the f**k is that?
Mickey: It's me bren gun.
Dog: Couldn't you have thought of something more practical?

shut that door
3rd Sep 2005, 21:19
............"I'm Sparticus!!!!!!!!!!!"
Movie..'Empire strikes back'

"It's life Jim, but not as we know it"
'Battle Star Galactia'

"Stick your hands up, you bum"
'Bugsey Malone'

"Go do your thing baby"
'Airport 77'

"pussy galore? I must be dreaming"
Dr. No

"Houston! Apollo 14 we have a problem"
'Apollo 14'

3rd Sep 2005, 21:43
Foss..... I've got no hair either :E I love that film!!!

Roger Murdock: We have clearance Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over.
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Captain Oveur: Huh?

From Airplane

High Wing Drifter
3rd Sep 2005, 22:13
"You can teach monkeys to fly better than that!"


"Vot do you need to vin ze var"

"Give me a squadron of Spitfires"

I'll watch out for that one.

3rd Sep 2005, 22:19
"Right...those of you who know me are in for an infinately more horrible time than you care to remember. Those of you who don't are in for a great big f**king surprise!. Now, let's try for our first heart attack shall we?" RSM Sandy Young. The Wild Geese.
Great line, great film.

2 sheds
3rd Sep 2005, 22:49
Clint Eastwood, "Dirty Harry"...

"Personnel? That's for *ssholes!"

Woof etc
3rd Sep 2005, 23:33
Inspector Clueso: Does Your deug bite?

Old Man: No.

(Inspector Clueso reaches out to stroke dog and is savagely attacked)

Inspector Clueso: I theught you said yeur deug does not bite?

Old Man: It is not my dog.

(Peter Sellers, Pink Panther)


(Peter Sellers, The Party)

4th Sep 2005, 02:08
Maxflyer ,

"(Then) your ass is grass and I'm a lawnmower"
- Sgt/major Dickerson to Cronauer, Good Morning Vietnam.

"Heeey, Johnny, that's a nice dog. What's he called?"
"His name is Scraps, mister."
"Johnny, do you like it when Scraps grabs your leg and rubs up and down?"

"Johnny, do you like gladiator movies?"


"I sure picked the wrong day to give up sniffing glue."

- Airplane. (again) :D

4th Sep 2005, 02:33
Pull Up! Pull Up! You're too low!

It's alright, you have to get "Really Low" to land one of these things.:cool:

Airplane II

4th Sep 2005, 02:44
“Badges?…We ain’t got no badges.

We don’t need no badges.

I don’t have to show you any steeekin’ BADGES !”


4th Sep 2005, 06:19
"You gotta ask yourself, was it 5 or was it 6. You gotta ask yourself, do you feel lucky? Well do ya? Punk!"

Harry Callahan.


4th Sep 2005, 06:58
...I've got a bad feelin' about this....:eek:

I'll be back!:uhoh:

West Coast
4th Sep 2005, 06:59
"Someones gonna have to go back to town and get a shitload of dimes"
Blazing Saddles

"More beans Mr. Taggert"
Blazing Saddles

"Do you mind if we dance wiff yo dates"
Animal house.

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"
Animal House.

"What's wrong Col Sanders, chicken?"

4th Sep 2005, 08:02
"Pussy Galore? I must be dreaming."


Jordan D
4th Sep 2005, 08:05
Among others, this one stands out:

"Gooooooooooooood Mornnnnnnnnnnning Vietnnnnaaaaaaaaaaam ... its 0630 ... and what does the 0 stand for? Oh my God its early ...."


Buster Hyman
4th Sep 2005, 08:22
"Hey! Ya didn't think we'd kill the f#*@ing Koala did ya?"

4th Sep 2005, 08:26

'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.'

'Gone with the Wind'.

Last line of the film, I think.
Use it all the time at home.:p

Ascend Charlie
4th Sep 2005, 08:44
Sharon Stone: But I'm your WIFE!
Arnold: (Bang!) Consider that a divorce!

(Total Recall)

Kathleen Turner: What are those @ssholes doing on the veranda?
Steve Martin: They aren't @ssholes, they're azaleas.
(Man with two brains)

Bruce Willis: What sets off the detectors first? The lead in your @ss or the 5h1t in your brains?

Desert Nomad
4th Sep 2005, 09:34
Not a spoken line but one written many many times:

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

Jordan D
4th Sep 2005, 09:35
[Roger M] - "Stop! Police! You're under arrest for murder!"
[Evil South African Bad Guy Diplomat] - "You can't. (beat) Diplomatic Immunity"
[Roger M] - (Bang) "Just Revoked".

excellent stuff.


4th Sep 2005, 10:20
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?.:hmm:

Mr Blonde, Reservoir Dogs.

4th Sep 2005, 13:27
From Team America:World Police as the stretch Lamborghini turns into an aeroplane:

Gary: Wow, now I've seen everything!
Spottswoode: Really, have you seen a man eat his own head?
Gary: No.
Spottswoode: Then you haven't seen everything have you Gary?

From Bladerunner and Rutger Hauer's character Roy Batty

'I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.'

4th Sep 2005, 13:55
Austin Powers:

How do you get into those pants?

Felicity Shagwell:

Well you can start by buying me a drink.:ooh: :E :}

4th Sep 2005, 14:21
Final line of 'Some Like It Hot':

"Well, nobody's perfect."

Romeo Charlie
4th Sep 2005, 14:57
"Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?"

Oddball - Kelly's Heroes

wheels up
4th Sep 2005, 16:20
I feel the need - the need for speed.


4th Sep 2005, 16:32
Not a film but a TV prog:

Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses (I think):

"Pretentious? Moi?" :cool:

........ and I also love his: "Au contraire."

4th Sep 2005, 17:00
Well, if we are extending to TV progs;

They do say that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain.
They are however wrong...... as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head....:uhoh:

Edmond SlackBladder

4th Sep 2005, 17:03
A classic from Blackadder is Baldrick's:

"I have a cunning plan ........." :=

(Sorry are TV quotes too drifty? Should we start another thread for them?!) :rolleyes:

4th Sep 2005, 17:07
'Yes it is'........not 'That it be'.............I'm not a tourist you know.
Oh, don't get me started.
And yes, I really am that sad...:{

4th Sep 2005, 17:14
"stay on the bomb run"
"Hey, what happened to Major Kong?"

"How you doing, Keaton?"
"I can't feel my legs....Kesyer"
......The Usual Suspects

and the much loved :"He's a very naughty boy"....

Standard Noise
4th Sep 2005, 20:03
Three from The Enforcer..................

Callaghan - "Did you tell him about the meeting? The meeting right here in your office two months ago where you said the highest priority was to run the hoodlums out of San Francisco!"

Captain - "I never said to use violence!"

Callaghan - "Whaddya want me to do, yell 'Trick or Treat' at them?!"

"Hypothetical situation, huh, alright, I'm standing on a street corner and Ms Gray there comes up and propositions me. She says if I come home with her, for five dollars she'll put on an exhibition with a shetland pony."
"What are you trying to do Callaghan?"
"I'm just trying to find out if anybody in this room knows what the hell law's being broken besides cruelty to animals!"

"Here's a seven point suppository Captain.....................I said stick it in your ass."


4th Sep 2005, 20:07
Who first said: "Shit happens"? Was it Forrest Gump??

Also, "I picked a bad day to give up smoking".
Airplane 2.


Buster Hyman
4th Sep 2005, 22:37
"Do you like Gladiator movies?"

4th Sep 2005, 22:46
"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

4th Sep 2005, 23:03
"Dont be a fool, man! They're on instruments!"

:D :ok:

5th Sep 2005, 01:22
"Check out the big brain on Brett! You're a smart [email protected], that's right - the metric system!"


"Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?!"

5th Sep 2005, 02:47
"You wanna do what!?"

Are home movies excluded?

5th Sep 2005, 05:54
Trinity in The Matrix (with cocked pistol to an Agents Head)

"Dodge This!" Bang.

Final Destination 2 as teenage boy goes into Dentists Office (to his mum)

"If he gives me the gas and I wake up with my pants unbuttoned, we ain't payin'!".

From Randall in Clerks

(ordering videos whilst a mother and child wait to order a childrens video)

"Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All T1t-F*cking Volume 8", "I Need Your C*ck", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My C*nt Needs Shafts", "C*m Clean", "C*m-Gargling Naked Sl*ts", "C*m Buns III", "C*mming in Socks", "C*m On Eileen", "Huge Black C*cks and Pearly White C*m", "Girls Who Crave C*ck", "Girls Who Crave C*nt", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard C*ck". Uh-huh... yeah... Oh, wait, and, what was that called again? Happy Scrappy Hero Pup. "


More Randall

"My mom's been f*ckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad"

"Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box. Beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame."

"Have you ever wondered how much the average jizz-mopper makes per hour? "

"People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl "Mom." "


And the classis from "From Dusk til Dawn" as they enter the T1tty-Twister Nudie Bar..

Pussy, pussy, pussy! All pussy must go. At the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! This is a pussy blow out! Make us an offer on our vast selection of pussy! We got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, hot pussy, cold pussy, wet pussy, tight pussy, big pussy, bloody pussy, fat pussy, hairy pussy, smelly pussy, velvet pussy, silk pussy, Naugahyde pussy, snappin' pussy, horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy, fake pussy! If we don't have it, you don't want it!

5th Sep 2005, 11:09
Several scenes from pulp fiction...

"you know what they call a big Mac in Paris?"....."they dont call it a big Mac"..."they call it a royal wit cheeeese"....."godammm!"

"Whos bike is that?"..."its a chopper baby".."whose chopper is it ?"..."zeds chopper"...."who's zed?"..."zeds dead baby..zeds dead"

Airplane 2

"the sun?....surely not!"

"yes a big blazing ball at the centre of the solar system, but thats not important right now...and stop calling me shirley!"


"striker, striker, striker, striker, STRIKER!!!!" (in the background a guy punches a girl..still laughing at that)

5th Sep 2005, 11:13
Mongo only pawn in game of life..... Blazing Saddles

5th Sep 2005, 11:52
"The lunch box has landed!".......The Full Monty

5th Sep 2005, 11:56

Guess that one...:E

5th Sep 2005, 14:54
"You don't expect me to talk do you Goldfinger?"
"No, Mr Bond. I expect you to die!"

5th Sep 2005, 15:51
From The Full Monty

Gerald: Strippers! You?

Gaz: I don't see why not Gerald.

Gerald: Because you're fat, you're thin, and you're both f**king ugly!

5th Sep 2005, 16:05
"..........I've got a huge wanger!"

Also from the Full Monty.

5th Sep 2005, 16:57
anything in dumb and dumber

Cop: Pullover

Harry: No, its a cardigan but thanks anyway.

Harry and LLoyd- Id eat her liver with fibre beans and a bottle of chianti..*shiver*

5th Sep 2005, 23:26
. . . where the little neighbourhood group are in Darrell's shed having a meeting and Darrell comes up with the most grandiose impossible scheme to get the airport authorities to stop their plans to resume half the neighbourhood. . . line delivered, so.o.o drily by hard faced woman from next door. . .


In 'All The Way Boys' with Bud Spencer and Terrence Hill. Bud is flying this Beaver in from the mines in the hills on a rescue flight one night with a badly injured boy lying on the back seat, terrified. Bud is pulling away at his whisky bottle and looking round at the boy now and again.

Boy - "Meester . . . . meester . . . . are we going to DIE?"

Bud - (taking another pull and wiping mouth on sleeve) "Tonight, son. . . tonight I AM IMMORTAL."

In 'A Fish Called Wanda' many of the lines uttered by Clease and Palin and by the Otto character and by the Jamie Lee Curtis character when she pours derision on Otto for his utter stupidity and ignorance. . .

. . . "And the subway. . . until today you thought the subway was an underground subversive movement."

And the way Otto would pull out into the London traffic straight to the wrong side of the road, (USA style). . . and yell, head and shoulders out the window, at the enraged other driver . . . " ASSHOLE".

The way Goldie Hawn said in her most scathing tones in what movie ? ? after the male lead had delivered a long dripping love soaked monologue, gazing in her eyes. . . . . " Booolshit Ron!"

The way in the same Spencer and Hill movie where they're in the wheelhouse coming in over the Amazon with one engine of the C47 belching smoke and Hill is way down in his seat, straw hat over his eyes, dozing, and Spencer in the other seat is reading a comic book, face portraying extreme concentration, as though reading a comic is hard work, and the big hill with the Christ statue in Rio appears off on the horizon and Spencer looks up from his comic and says to Hill , all slurry and Latin. . . " think we'd better give 'em a call . . . get a clearance. . ?" "Na. . . they'll get out of the way."

And how many lines delivered by John Wayne. . eh? As 'Rooster' Callaghan in 'True Grit', facing off the desparadoes across a clearing. . all mounted. .. and Rooster. . eye-patch like a badge and long barrell revolvers in their holsters, just before he sticks the reins in his mouth to grip with his teeth, and spur his horse and draw his guns. . ..(all in one smooth sequence). . . calls to the bad guy ring leader. . .. . "FILL YOUR HAND. . . . YOU SON OF A BITCH."

Lastly a remembrance of a Peter O'Toole interview where he described how hard it was to work with Guinness in the making of 'Lawrence of Arabia'. "You know, every day he would appear on the set and come into my tent with a face like a plate of condemned veal."

6th Sep 2005, 01:14
Dr Strangelove:

Major T. J. "King" Kong: Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings. Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

Darth Nigel
6th Sep 2005, 02:32
Gy Sgt Foley:
You said, "How are *you*?" I am not a "ewe," boy! A ewe is a female sheep! Is that what you think I am, boy? Where are you from... Oklahoma? Only two things come out of Oklahoma - steers and queers. Which one are you, boy? I don't see no horns on you, so you *must* be a queer! I expect to lose at least half of you before I'm finished. And I will use every means necessary, both fair and otherwise, to trip you up! That is, to expose your weaknesses... both as a potential aviator *and* as a human being. The prize at the other end is a flight education worth $1,000,000! But first, you gotta get past *me*.

6th Sep 2005, 03:28
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room.

Dr Strangelove

6th Sep 2005, 06:32
. . . . and you can't trust her with the change."

6th Sep 2005, 10:46
From "Snatch"

Brick Top : " In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again!? "

Echo Zulu Yankee
6th Sep 2005, 12:43
It doesn't get much better than:

[SAID IN SILLY FRENCH ACCENT] "FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! "


No Further Requirements
6th Sep 2005, 12:45
From Austin Powers:

"You seem surprised to see me Miss Fagina"

In fact, that whole movie cracks me up.....and the second.....

"I ate a baby! Oh, I, baby. The other other white meat. Baby - it's what's for dinner!"

6th Sep 2005, 12:48
"Where'd they teach you to talk like that? Some Panama City, sailor wanna hump-hump bar or was today get-away day and your last chance at his whiskey? Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here...."

How do you write women so well?
Easy. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

As good as it gets... :cool:

6th Sep 2005, 13:02
Last words in Butch & Sundance

"For a minute I thought we were in trouble"

6th Sep 2005, 13:26
fisht- , :ok: :ok:

Great fillum. ;)

". . . your boyfriend was elected President and he wanted to have you over to Camp David, and you wanted s/one to share the moment. . . don't knock on this door. . . even if. . .you heard the thump of a lifeless body and after 3 weeks a smell that can only be described as the stench of a decaying human body begins emanating from this apartment. . . don't knock. . not on this door."


6th Sep 2005, 13:31
Ace Ventura,

"If I'm not back in 5 minutes....just wait longer!"

6th Sep 2005, 14:20

6th Sep 2005, 14:46
"punch it, baby"

Steve McQueen to Ali McGraw in The Getaway.

Speaking of which, I'll get my "Bullit" VHS out tonight... been a long time.

edited to add this one:

"I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think." from the Caddyshack

6th Sep 2005, 20:16
Say hello to my little friend............... Scarface

cessna l plate
6th Sep 2005, 22:46
I am worried by the fact that there are more airplane quotes here than Top Gun ones.


"Maverick. You'll get your rear when you get to your ship. And if you don't.......... gimme a call. I'll fly with ya"

But the best ever has to be........

"It's a deal. It's a steal. It's the sale of the f***in century.............. In fact, f*** it Nick, I think I'm gonna keep it"
"awright awright, keep yer alans on!"


"I've bin shot". "Can everyone stop gettin shot"
Both from Lock Stock

6th Sep 2005, 23:19
There are lots of Airplane quotes (and Naked Gun quotes) because those films were stuffed full of hilarious gags - in fact it is only on the second or twenty-second viewing that you can see or hear all of them.

There is the bit on Airplane that I didn't notice until I had seen the film several times: On the seat belt signs, the Spanish/Latino translation of 'Fasten Seat Belt' reads 'Putana da seatbeltz'.

Well I thought it was funny! :eek: :eek:

..........and I love the bit when the passengers are evacuating down the escape slides and the stewardess is at the top of the slide saying: "Have a nice day! Thank you for flying TransAmerican!" ;)

7th Sep 2005, 00:14
'I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.'

Apparently Rutger Hauer adlib'd that. Genius. Defining moment of the whole damn film.

My contribution, (bit of a sicky I'm afraid):

"I don't understand what you westerners see in women with such skinny bodies. In the desert, a body such as that would wither and die in a matter of hours." - Libyan Captn.

"After a few hours with such a body, what would it matter?..." - Dr. Moffat, Airwolf the movie.

*shudder* Sinister, unpleasant dude, that.


7th Sep 2005, 00:29
American Psycho:
Patrick Bateman: When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things.
One part wants me to be real nice and sweet and treat her right.

Patten: And what did the other part think?

Bateman: What her head would look like on a stick!

...but I think the best lines are the ones you don't need to quote where they come from...

"And this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy".

7th Sep 2005, 04:36
Cessna L Plate...its "You'll get your RIO when you get to the ship...."

I like Rock Hudson's line in Ice Station Zebra (he is the Skipper of a Submarine talking to some spy types on board)

"We work on a first name basis - my first name is Captain"


Buster Hyman
7th Sep 2005, 04:42
I think you miss quoted Rock there scran! The last bit is
"We work on a first name basis - my first name is Captain...what's yours sweet cheeks?" :} :ouch:

7th Sep 2005, 04:46
"The jig is up!"

"And gone!"

"B-o-b!, Oh, B-o-b! Do I have any openings this man might fit?"
- Empress Nipple. (Madeliene Kahn)

"When you die at the Palace you really die at the Palace!"
- Comicus, (Mel Brooks) cleaning his nails on a spear tip.

7th Sep 2005, 05:21
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." GWTW


"I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world." Casablanca

:ok: :ok: :ok:

7th Sep 2005, 05:53
here's looking at you , kid ! :ok:


Atlas Shrugged
7th Sep 2005, 05:57
And then ?

....Dude Where's My Car

High Wing Drifter
8th Sep 2005, 14:00
"I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that."

Gingerbread Man
8th Sep 2005, 14:29
"Allow myself to introduce................myself:rolleyes: "

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball"

Patches O'Hoolihan - Dodgeball

[Maximus] "I knew a man who once said death smiles at us all. All man can do is smile back."
[Commodus] "And did your friend smile at his own death?"
[Maximus] "You must know. He was your father."

Brilliant stuff :ok:

8th Sep 2005, 14:54
Maverick: Requesting permission for flyby.
Air Boss Johnson: That's a negative ghostrider, the pattern is full. :E

Hondo: And if you screw up just this much, you'll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong!

(does this mean that freight dawgs are all failed US navy pilots?)


8th Sep 2005, 14:59
(does this mean that freight dawgs are all failed US navy pilots?)

Don't think it is just freight dawgs it affects, gonna have to put top gun on now!

"LOUD NOISES" - Anchorman

8th Sep 2005, 15:01
"You two donkey d*cks couldn't get a lady in a morgue."

Bill Paxton in Weird Science


8th Sep 2005, 15:16
"Matter!" - Withnail & I (parapunter!)

"I'm making time!" - Withnail & I

"Do you grow?" - Uncle Monty, Withnail & I

"Sorry about the mess..." - Han Solo, Star Wars, after blasting Greedo

"Funny how, funny like a clown? Like I amuse you? How the [email protected] am I funny?" - Joe Pesci as Tommy, Goodfellas

High Wing Drifter
8th Sep 2005, 15:18
"Time to let the big dog eat"

From Tin Cup, as he pulls the driver out of the bag.

Charlie Foxtrot India
8th Sep 2005, 15:20

Marcel Marceau in "Silent Movie" (the only spoken word in the whole movie.)


"I promise.... I will never die" Gary in Team America just before *that* scene

8th Sep 2005, 18:54
"Pyrex Pickle Blowfish, ready to land." - Charlie Sheen, Hot Shots!


8th Sep 2005, 18:58
"Love... it's a mother f**ker".

"Hey Everyone, come and look at how good I look" - Anchorman

8th Sep 2005, 19:52
From Top Secret:

'Is this the potato farm?'
'Oui, I am Albert Potato'


'My name is deja vu.'
'Have we not met before Monsieur?'

From Team America:

We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an a**hole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get f**ked by dicks. But dicks also f**k a**holes: a**holes that just want to s**t on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with a**holes their way. But the only thing that can f**k an a**hole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they f**k too much or f**k when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of s**t that they become a**holes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from a** holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us f**k this a**hole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in s**t!

tom de luxe
8th Sep 2005, 20:59
Bob: I was feeling tight in the shoulders and neck, so I called down and had a Shiatsu massage in my room...
Charlotte: Mmh, that's nice!
Bob: And the tightness has completely disappeared and been replaced by unbelievable pain.

Lost in Translation


8th Sep 2005, 21:03
"Uh oh...Fart..."
Dustin Hoffman in a telephone booth with Tom Cruise in "Rainman".

cessna l plate
8th Sep 2005, 22:52
I can't believe that we have not had the immortal line from that totally classic movie (only the brits will get this) Rita, Sue & Bob Too................. "Are we having a jump tonight Bob?"

9th Sep 2005, 00:46
"I suppose a ride is out of the question?"

Colm Meaney to his screen wife in "The Committments"

9th Sep 2005, 07:28
Anything out of DODGEBALL is hilarious.

"L for Love"

Ali Barber
9th Sep 2005, 07:53
"You're a proctologist. Get rid of this arsehole."

Patch Adams

9th Sep 2005, 08:13
Ah ya Dodgeball,

Ben stiller to Vince Vaughan: 'Your so called "gym" is a skidmark on the underpants of society'

and anything from the life of brian,

Ex-Lepper "spare a talem for an old ex lepper???"

Brian: : "Did you say ex-lepper??"

Ex-lepper "yes,sir i was cured by jesus, a miracle."

or the part when everyone follows him thinkin hes the messiah and he eventually turns around and says "ok I am the messiah now F**K OFF!!!!

9th Sep 2005, 08:17
. . . . when mother with the tiny cottage chocker with her offspring, while working away at the washtub drops another on the floor with a sloshy plop. . ..

. . . . "Get that one, will you Diedre?"

9th Sep 2005, 09:50
Spotted flieger tiger!

"We must watch him, he's so mauve" Withnail & I.

"I'm a butcher, but I don't mince my words" Delicatessen.

One more W&I: "Just because the best tailoring you've seen is above your f****g appendix"

9th Sep 2005, 10:27
Nick Falzone: [to Russell Bell] I'm personally going to see to it that you go down in flames!
Airplane Pilot: What?
Nick Falzone: Negative, United. That was not to you. Not to you!


Nick Falzone: Oh, you really think the pilot is controlling this plane? That would really scare me.

Pushing Tin

Gingerbread Man
9th Sep 2005, 10:44
[HAMMOND] "All theme parks have teething problems - when they opened disneyland in the fifties, nothing worked!"

[MALCOLM] "Yeah, but John, when the pirates of the carribean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists."

Jurassic Park

9th Sep 2005, 10:49
from Anchorman:

"I'm going to wear Black Panther, it works 60% of the time, all of the time"

Windy Militant
9th Sep 2005, 13:24
"Focking Blaspheme!"

Colm Meaney in the Commiments to the Buskers Singing "Elvis was a Cajun" In the Bathroom. ;)

9th Sep 2005, 13:48
"Step aside, Butch"


"I'm gonna call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' [African-Americans] to go to work on the homes here, with a pair of pliers and a blow-torch... "


"Say 'what' again, I dare ya! I double-dare ya!"


"Ah man, I just shot Marvin in the face!"

Charlie Foxtrot India
9th Sep 2005, 15:37
"Are we going to do Stonehenge tonight?"

"....These go to eleven"

9th Sep 2005, 15:54
"Smell The Glove is here!"

"It's your f**king wife!"

9th Sep 2005, 15:58
This movie has warped my tiny, fragile little mind.

White Bear
9th Sep 2005, 16:11
Those lines are so good they deserve repeating in context.

[Pulp Fiction, after Butch saves Marsellus from rapists]
Butch: You okay?
Marsellus: Naw man. I'm pretty feckin' far from okay.
Butch: What now?
Marsellus: What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' (boys from the hood), who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.
White Bear.

Charlie Foxtrot India
9th Sep 2005, 16:45
"oh, King eh, very nice....listen, watery tarts dispensing swords is no basis for a democratic system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony! If I said I was king because some watery bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"

"Now you see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!"

"So apart from the aquaduct, roads, law and order, the wine, education and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"
"Brought peace?"
"Oh, peace! SHUT UP!"


9th Sep 2005, 16:58
"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"

"Who's this Welsh tart?"

"Aw, honey I missed you, but from this range my aim is bound to improve" Sweet Home Alabama

9th Sep 2005, 17:30
"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

Roy Schneider aka Chief Brody in Jaws when the shark suddenly appears unseen by all the other characters.

9th Sep 2005, 18:03
Sorry if this one is a bit long, but I can watch this movie hundreds of times and still laugh like a kid, so here it goes:

[Brian is writing graffiti on the palace wall. The Centurion catches him in the act]
Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Brian: It says, "Romans go home. "
Centurion: No it doesn't ! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
Brian: Er, "Romanus" !
Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is?
Brian: Er, er, "Romani" !
Centurion: [Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" !
Brian: Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".
Centurion: So, "eunt" is...?
Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
Centurion: But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use...?
[He twists Brian's ear]
Brian: Aaagh ! The imperative !
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" !
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" !
Centurion: [Writes "ite"] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?
Brian: Dative !
[the Centurion holds a sword to his throat]
Brian: Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "Domum" !
Centurion: But "Domus" takes the locative, which is...?
Brian: Er, "Domum" !
Centurion: [Writes "Domum"] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

Absolutely brilliant stuff!!:ok: BTW how is it spelled then? :p


Charlie Foxtrot India
10th Sep 2005, 03:58
Just like that awful nun at school...."ite! ite! DOMOOOOOOOOM! OOOOOMM!" (thwhack)
That scene was so realistic its scary.

"Now write it out a hundred times. And if its not finished by daybreak, I'll cut your balls off"

"yes Sir, hail Ceaser sir!"

19th Sep 2005, 02:31
This line can likely be attributed to David Llorente, who was pilot of the jump ship in this 1969 skydiving movie.

Gene Hackman to Deborah Kerr: "We'll be jumping from a Howard DGA-15. DGA - that stands for Damn Good Airplane. Which of course it is.

"Very tricky to land, though. You're much better off jumping out of it, than taking a chance on landing it."

Howard Hughes
19th Sep 2005, 03:10
"You can rest when your dead"

(Warren Miller, although can't remember which movie)

19th Sep 2005, 03:30
Cpl. Savage: Good morning Sergeant-Major!
Sgt. Maj. Plumley: How do you know what kind of goddamn day it is?!


Cpl. Savage: Beautiful morning Sergeant-Major!
Sgt. Maj. Plumley: What are you, a f*cking weather man now?!


19th Sep 2005, 05:17
"You can rest when you're dead."
- Alien Resurrection.

19th Sep 2005, 05:40
"Push the Button Max!"

Professor Fate
"The Great Race"
One of the funniest movies ever made.

19th Sep 2005, 05:51
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched sea-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in the rain... Time to die."

19th Sep 2005, 08:38

19th Sep 2005, 09:30
From The Madness of George III:

Warren: One may produce a copious, regular evacuation every day of the week and still be a stranger to reason.

Prince of Wales: To be Prince of Wales is not a position - it is a predicament.

George III: Six hours of sleep is enough for a man, seven for a woman, and eight for a fool.

George III: Push off, you fat turd.
George III: [crudely staring at Lady Pembroke] Fine cluster there, eh?
[to Queen Charlotte, pointing at her bosom]
George III: Go ahead. Look. Look.
[circles around Pembroke]
George III: Good arse too.
[rubs his behind against hers]
George III: And warm, eh? I bet.

George III: Good evening, Mrs. King.
Queen Charlotte: Good evening, Mr. King.
Fox: Do you enjoy all this flummery, Mr. Pitt?
Pitt: No, Mr. Fox.
Fox: Do you enjoy anything, Mr. Pitt?
Pitt: A balance sheet, Mr. Fox. I enjoy a good balance sheet.

[Pitt has given the King some papers to sign]
George III: What is this? America, I suppose.
Pitt: No, sir.
George III: Oh, America is not to be spoken of, is that it?
Pitt: For your own peace of mind, sir. But it is not America.
George III: Peace of mind! I have no peace of mind. I have had no peace of mind since we lost America. Forests, old as the world itself, plains, strange delicate flowers, immense solitudes. And all nature new to art. All ours. Mine. Gone. A paradise lost.

[the King is reading his speech at the State Opening of Parliament]
George III: Whereas we, George III, in this year of our Lord 1788, do open this Parliament, giving notice that our will and pleasure is that the following bills shall be laid before this House. A bill for the regulation of trade with our possessions in North America...
[There is a reproving cough from Thurlow]
George III: Our *former* possessions in North America...

Thurlow: The cork's too tight in the bottle, that's the trouble. He must be the first King of England not to have a mistress.
Pitt: Fifteen children seem to me to indicate a certain conscientiousness in that regard.
Thurlow: I'm talking of pleasure, not duty.

Pitt: I used to sit with my father when he was ill. I used to read him Shakespeare.
Dr. Willis: I have never read Shakespeare.
[Pitt and Thurlow stare at him in shock]
Dr. Willis: I am a clergyman.

Queen Charlotte: Come on, smile and
wave. That's what you get paid for. Smile and wave.

George III: What of the colonies, Mr. Pitt?
Pitt: America is now a nation, sir.
George III: Is it? Well. We must try and get used to it. I have known stranger things. I once saw a sheep with five legs...

Fitzroy: To be kind does not commend you to kings. They see it, as they see any flow of feeling, as a liberty. A blind eye will serve you better.

George III: I am the King of England.
Dr. Willis: NO, sir. You are the PATIENT.
Dr. Willis: I have You in my eye, sir. And I shall KEEP You in my eye until You learn to behave and do as You're told.
George III: I am the King. I tell, I am not TOLD. I am the VERB, sir, not the OBJECT.

George III: By your dress, sir, and general demeanor, I'd say you were a minister of God.
Dr. Willis: Oh, that's true, Your Majesty, I was once in the service of the Church. Now I practice medicine.
George III: Well, I'm sorry for it. You've quitted a profession I've always loved and embraced one I most heartily DETEST.
Dr. Willis: Our Savior went about healing the sick.
George III: Yes... but He had not seven hundred pounds a year for it.
George III: Well, that's not bad for a madman.

Thurlow: The Prince of Wales cannot marry without the King's consent and he CANNOT marry a Catholic. You performed an illegal ceremony.
Clergyman: [indignantly] And they only give me ten pound for it.
Thurlow: Here's another ten pounds. Keep this to yourself.
[He gives the clergyman money and starts tearing the page from the register]
Clergyman: Here, you can't do that, it's against the law.
Thurlow: I *am* the law.

Footman: The government is still in bed.

George III: [to William Pitt] You'll have to speak up, I don't see very well.

Thurlow: [to Dr. Willis] King Lear; do you think that is wise?
Dr. Willis: I did not know what the play was about.
George III: What's happened to Mr. Fox?
[Pitt arches one eyebrow significantly]
George III: Such a dodger. Reform! And too many ideas. Not like you, Mr. Pitt. You don't have ideas.
[Pitt grits his teeth]

Thurlow: [to Dundas] The Sultan orders it better. He has the son and heir strangled.

Howard Hughes
19th Sep 2005, 10:12
Sorry Ricky,

But I think Warren said it first on one of his skiing odyssey's!!;)

19th Sep 2005, 11:14
"I'd like to look them all straight in the eye and tell them what a cheap lying no good rotten four flushing low life snake licking dirt eating inbreded overstuffed ignorant blood sucking dog kissing brainless dickless hopeless heartless fatass bugeyed stiff legged spotty lipped worm headed sack of monkey shit they are!
Holy shit
Where's the Tylenol?"

- National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

19th Sep 2005, 12:01
From Wild At Heart

Guy at Nightclub: You look like a clown in that stupid jacket.
Sailor: This is a snakeskin jacket! And for me it's a symbol of my individuality, and my belief... in personal freedom.

Gingerbread Man
19th Sep 2005, 12:31

Lithgow - "I must admit, you're a real piece of work"

Stallone - "Yeah and I must admit you're a real piece of sh!t"

19th Sep 2005, 13:52
How could I have forgotten one of the great cinematic lines, as uttered by the incomparable Madeline Kahn.

Seated in close embrace with a large negro.....

"Is it, uh, twue what they say about the way you people are... gifted?"

(Sound of a zipper being opened)

Kahn: "Oh, it's twue. It's twue! It's twue, it's twue!"

19th Sep 2005, 14:18
More from Holy Grail (in no particular order):

All right, we'll call it a draw

FRENCH GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English knnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
GALAHAD: What a strange person.
ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man--
FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

We demand.... a shrubbery!

I told you, that rabbit's dynamite!

Agreed. Can watch that 'til the cows come home. Just love the control with which Marcellus says it all... you just know that Mr Soon-to-be-living-the-rest-of-his-life-in-agonosing-pain-rapist here is in for a looooong afternoon...

Say "What" again! I dare ya! I double-dare ya!

19th Sep 2005, 14:28
And as they stand outside the door, having discussed foot massages and now going in...

"lets get into character."

Still use that before a dark and dirty approach, but I am sooo old school.

19th Sep 2005, 17:01
Rosebud..................................................... ..............

19th Sep 2005, 17:18
Know it's not a movie but none the less...

Homer and Bart renting a boat by the lake.

Boatowner: 'You can't drive a boat while under the influence of alcohol sir!'

Homer to Bart:'Sounds like a wager to me boy...'

I cracked myself!!!

19th Sep 2005, 20:10
King Arthur: "Be quiet! I order you do be quiet!"

Dennis's wife: "Order eh?....who does he think he is".

KA: "I am your King!"

Dennis's wife: "Well I didn't vote for you".

KA: "You don't vote for Kings"

D's wife: "Well 'ow'd you become King then?"

KA: "The Lady of the Lake, her hand clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosum of the water, signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I'm your king!"

Dennis: Listen, strange women, lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme exucutive power derives from a mandate of the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony".

KA: "Be quiet!"

Dennis: "You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!"

KA: Shut up!

Dennis: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"

KA: Shut up, will you, shut up!" (jerking Dennis's arm)

Dennis: "Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system!"

KA (manhandling Dennis)

Dennis: "Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!!!"


Dennis: "Ooo, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did, you hear that, eh?".

19th Sep 2005, 20:37
hell i like you you can come over to my house and fu:mad: my sister!
d.s in full metal jacket. ace:ok:

19th Sep 2005, 20:39
"Ned Pepper I aim to kill ya or take you in and see you hang at Judge Barkers convienience what'll it be?"
" That's bold talk for a one eyed fat man"
" Fill your hand you son of a bitch"

John Wayne in True Grit, such a classic line :ok:

19th Sep 2005, 20:43
Kaffee: Whoa. Hold it. We gotta take a boat?
Barnes: Yes, sir. To get to the other side of the bay.
Kaffee: Nobody said anything about a boat.
Barnes: Is there a problem, sir?
Kaffee: No, no problem. I'm just not that crazy about boats, that's all.
Galloway: Jesus Christ, Kaffee, you're in the Navy for crying out loud.

Anyone care to guess what Mrs M took me to see the other night.
Superb, by the way.

19th Sep 2005, 21:27
Band of Brothers:

"That's right, you stupid Kraut bastards. That's right. Say hello to Ford, and General f__kin' Motors. You stupid fascist pigs. Look at you. You have horses. What were you thinking? Dragging our asses half way around the world, interrupting our lives. For what, you ignorant, servile scum. What the f__k are we doing here?" -Webster


"Do you know why no one remembers your name? Its cause no one wants to remember your name! There are too many Smiths, Dimattos, and O'Keefes and O'Briens who show up here replacing Toccoa men that you dumb replacements got killed in the first place. And they're all like you. They're all piss and vinegar. "Where the Krauts at? Let me at 'em. When do I get to jump into Berlin?" Two days later there they are with their blood and guts hanging out. Screaming for a medic, begging for their goddamn mother. You dumb kids don't even know you're dead yet. Hey, you listening to me? Don't you know this is the best part of frickin' war I've seen? I've got hot chow, hot showers, a warm bed. The way I see it, Germany is almost as good as being home. I even got to wipe my ass with real toilet paper today. So quit asking when you're gonna see some action, will ya? And stop with the frickin' love songs! " -Perconte

20th Sep 2005, 00:31
"Iron hand's my thing"

"They'll never expect us to go round again"

Flight Detent
20th Sep 2005, 06:27
AMF - great, really great movie, I still get a really good laugh every time I watch it!

As the Black Knight said "NONE SHALL PASS!"

Excellent movie - In Search of the Holy Grail.

Cheers, FD

20th Sep 2005, 06:41
"I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next"

"They may take our lives but they'll never take our freedom"

"So you're saying you wanna set my country music award on fire?"
-Super Troopers

Solid Rust Twotter
20th Sep 2005, 07:07
Michael Keaton's line from "Dream Team".

"...Aaahhh! Alcohol for the insane...":E :p

20th Sep 2005, 10:11
"You're a big man, but you're out of shape, with me it's a full time job so behave yourself"

Michael Caine to "Alf Roberts" in Get Carter, classic film

Gingerbread Man
20th Sep 2005, 11:13
Isn't there already a thread for this stuff. I believe its somewhat ambiguous title is "Best Movie Lines".

GBM ;)

Lon More
20th Sep 2005, 11:30
Gingerbread Man take your pick. Using "Best Movie Lines"throws up 78 threads here.

20th Sep 2005, 12:07
"With great power comes great responsibility"

Said by the grandma in Spiderman 1

Gingerbread Man
20th Sep 2005, 14:16
Fair enough, but there's one one the front page that's been running for a couple of weeks - just thought it may have been missed by PPY. Don't let me stand in the way of a new one though.

Ginger :)

20th Sep 2005, 16:19
Pirates of the Carribean:

Johnny Depp rescues Keira Knightley from drowning, and cuts her corset laces with a knife to help her breathing....

English Marine: "I never would have thought of doing that."

Jack Sparrow (Depp): "Clearly, you've never been to Singapore...."

So many other brilliant lines in that film, and now they've all signed up for two sequels...

20th Sep 2005, 16:32
Don't let me stand in the way of a new one though.
No, but I will!:E

Gingerbread Man
20th Sep 2005, 21:10
Ah, the iron fist of moderation :p .

Darth Nigel
20th Sep 2005, 21:19
Johnny Depp rescues Keira Knightley from drowning, and cuts her corset laces with a knife to help her breathing....

Who cares about the dialogue, let me think about that scene for a while ...

21st Sep 2005, 20:15
From Highlander:

I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.

From Southpark:

Mr. Garrison: ...I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die


Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?

22nd Sep 2005, 06:40
'Don't make me he-bitch man slap ya'

Eddie Griffin in Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

Squawk 2650
22nd Sep 2005, 08:58
Not from a film but Red Dwarf - Ace Rimmer....

"Smoke me a Kipper ... I'll be back for Breakfast!"



27th Sep 2005, 07:07
"It's shite being Scottish, we're the lowest of the low... People hate English, I don't, they're just wankers. We on the other hand are colonized by wankers! Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by... etc."
- Mark Renton

27th Sep 2005, 07:54
"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."

"I thought you were going out tonight."
"Nah, she cancelled her date."
"Washing her hair?"
"Dead mother."

"Who was it who dumped a truckload of Fizzies into the swim-meet pool? Who was it who delivered the medical school cadavers to the Alumni dinner? Every Spring, the trees are filled with underwear, every Hallowe'en, the toilets explode...."

Bluto: "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pear Harbour?"
Boone (to Otter): "Germans?"
Otter: "Forget it, he's rolling."

All from one of the funniest movies ever made....

Solid Rust Twotter
27th Sep 2005, 08:13
National Lampoon's Animal House

Must have watched it fifty times while based in the Antarctic for a year.:ok:

Still one of the classics.

27th Sep 2005, 10:12

"There's a lot of space in this mall...."

"You're gonna look pretty funny tryin' to eat corn on the cob with no f:mad: in' teeth."

"Boys, you gotta learn not to talk to nuns like that."

Once again, a comedy classic....

Solid Rust Twotter
27th Sep 2005, 10:15
Blues Brothers

Pure gold.......:ok:

Hanse Cronje
27th Sep 2005, 10:21
"Fighter pukes make movies. Bomber pilots make history."

Lt Jake Grafton
Flight of the Intruder

28th Sep 2005, 05:31

I'll make you famous...

Billy the Kid in Young guns.

28th Sep 2005, 11:43
Some war film classics:

Well, as you know, I always felt we tried to go a bridge too far.

Official, Ministry of Aircraft Production: You say you need a Wellington Bomber for test drops. They're worth their weight in gold. Do you really think the authorities will lend you one? What possible argument could I put forward to get you a Wellington?
Barnes Wallace: Well, if you told them I designed it, do you think that might help?

I haven't seen Berlin yet, from the ground or from the air, and I plan on doing both before the war is over.

Field Marshal Erwin Rommel: Just look at it, gentlemen. How calm... how peaceful it is. A strip of water between England and the continent... between the Allies and us. But beyond that peaceful horizon... a monster waits. A coiled spring of men, ships, and planes... straining to be released against us. But, gentlemen, not a single Allied soldier shall reach the shore. Whenever and wherever this invasion may come, gentlemen... I shall destroy the enemy there, at the water's edge. Believe me, gentlemen, the first 24 hours of the invasion will be decisive. For the Allies as well as the Germans, it will be the longest day... The longest day.

28th Sep 2005, 14:34
Sorry people, but we have to have the most
politically incorrect lines ever said on film

"The niggers and the Chinks can stay
but we don't want the Irish!"

28th Sep 2005, 14:59
Sed, was that from Blazing Saddles?


28th Sep 2005, 15:20
Couldn't be anywhere else but Blazing Saddles!

Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!

(Julius Ceasar with knives sticking out of his back, Carry on Cleo)

"I seem to be getting a little plastered"

(Lady Ruff Diamond with bits of the ceiling in her hair, Carry on up the Khyber)

28th Sep 2005, 15:54
More from Blazing Saddles

"- Are we...awake?
- Are we...black?"

28th Sep 2005, 16:01
War Of The worlds:

From the moment the invaders arrived, breathed our air, ate, and drank, they were doomed. They were undone, destroyed, after all of man's weapons and devices had failed, by the tiniest creatures that God in his wisdom put upon this earth. By the toll of a billion deaths, man had earned his immunity, his right to survive among this planet's infinite organisms. And that right is ours against all challenges. For neither do men live nor die in vain.

29th Sep 2005, 07:23
It's my birthday. I want the shit
scared outta me. You know, barrel
rolls, loopdeloops... all that

We don't do that kind of flying.
It's dangerous and irresponsible.

Too many lawsuits.

Jason's face falls.

Well who does?

The Young Pilot thinks, then points to the side of the
Quonset Hut, which is open.

He does.

Hawk, now in his mid-sixties, sits unassumingly in a
corroded aluminum fold-up chair, feet up on a cooler,
reading a fishing magazine.


Hey, Hawk, this guy wants a scary

Hawk looks up, calmly eyes Jason who bounces on the balls
of his feet in anticipation.

It's my birthday.

Well, happy birthday.

29th Sep 2005, 08:49
"Ops, the engine's overheating and so am I.

We either takeoff or blowup."

29th Sep 2005, 09:49
Sho we'll shit off their coasht and lishten to their rock and roll and then we'll shail to Cuba, wher the weather ish warm and sho ish the welcome....the order ish....engage the shilent drive..


29th Sep 2005, 12:26
Several crackers from Lock, Stock etc.

Guns for show, knives for a pro.

You must be the brains of the show. Yeah, guns that fire shots.

I hate these southern fairies.

Well you better un-sell ‘em, sharpish!

If you don’t want to be counting the fingers you haven’t got,
Or sharing a bed with the antichrist,
I want those guns!

What you do know, is where these people live.
If you lie, I’ll kill ya.
If you hold anything back, or I think you’re holding anything back, I’ll kill ya.
If you forget anything, I’ll kill ya.
In fact, you’re going to have to work very hard, just to stay alive, Nick.
Now do you understand what I’ve just said?
Because if you don’t, I’ll kill ya.
Now, Mr Bubble-and-Squeak, you may… enlighten me.

I am panicking, and I’m off.

I’m gonna cut him, make sure he knows he’s dead.

But the coolest line is the simple one at the end of the scene where the girlfriend wakes up and emerges from under the cushions, grabs the bren gun and starts blasting away (the slow-mo shots are the best)… “Where the f:mad:k did she come from?!”

And then there’s the immortal:

Atomic batteries to power… turbines to speed
(I dare Boeing to include that in a 787 checklist!)

29th Sep 2005, 13:55
Woman: Have you ever kissed a girl?
Dusty: Well sure, lots of times.
Woman: Would you like to kiss me?
Dusty: Yeah! [resumes playing guitar]
Woman: Well?
Dusty: What, now? Here?
Woman: Well, we could take a walk, and you could kiss me on the veranda.
Dusty: Lips would be fine

-The Three Amigos

29th Sep 2005, 14:31

"english bashtards"


"english bashtards"


"english bashtards"

and most other American films.

Interestingly, in Master and Commander the ship he was chasing was supposed to be American, not French (as per the book). That is why he states that the other ship was "yankee built".

29th Sep 2005, 16:10
I will not sacrifice the Enterprise. We've made too many compromises already; too many retreats. They invade our space and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! And I will make them pay for what they've done. :ooh:

Not bad for a French slap-head.

And from Blazing Saddles again,

"What's happenin' in the clean world?"

Gene Wilder (to two hooded KKK members): "Yoohoo! Over here, boys. Look what I've got!"

He pulls Cleavdon Little out from behind a rock

Cleavdon:"Hey! Where's all the white women at?"

The present Mrs Thumper switched off after about ten minutes (When you was slaves, you sang like birds.), dismissing the entire movie as a pile of racist cr:mad: p. Shame really, as she missed out on one of the funniest movies ever made, as well as being one of the best lampoonings of racism ever committed to celluloid. Still haven't seen "The Producers", though. It's up for a remake next year....

Scroll Lock
29th Sep 2005, 19:44
" What do you want me to do, grow a new heart?"
Sleepless in Seattle

" Yeeehah, Jester's dead"

" Put the candle back"
Young Frankenstein

" I'm your worst nightmare, I'm a nigger with a badge"

"There can be only one"

"If it bleeds, it can die"

"I'm having a friend for dinner"

and a gold star to who gets this film....

" I got a goddamn plan....."

entries on a postcard please.


3rd Oct 2005, 23:11
Scroll Lock,

The one from Predator is

If it bleeds, ve can kill it

Same result...

5th Oct 2005, 14:50
Thought I might start up a thread with all our favourite quotes from movies. I was watching 'THE ROCK' (with Sean Connery) and came across something that made me p!ss myself.

:) Mason (Sean Connery) and Goodspeed (Nick Cage) just enter 'The Rock' and Mason is chukling away with a happy smile. Goodspeed says to mason:
'You're enjoying this'?

Mason: (said in best Sean Connery voice)
'Well, it's certainly more exciting than my average day; reading philosophy, avoiding gang rape in the washrooms - though not much of a problem these days, maybe I'm loosing my sex appeal'!

I'm practising very hard on my 'Sean Connery' accent now! Lets hear some of your favourites?? ;) :p

5th Oct 2005, 15:29
Perhaps this link (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=188461) will save you the suspense, and a bit of flaming. :rolleyes:

5th Oct 2005, 15:34
.......and just as I was about to add "At my signal, release hell"


5th Oct 2005, 15:38
He's just joined, Jerricho. I like to give them at least a month before we let the rottweilers loose.

5th Oct 2005, 15:40
But we haven't had a decent sacrificial lamb round here for ages :E ;)

(Welcome to the party Wrongway :ok: )

5th Oct 2005, 15:41
Where's the link to that "Searching For Dummies" photo? That was neat!

5th Oct 2005, 16:34
Where's the link to that "Searching For Dummies" photo? ... but you never need to search for a Dummy ....

... they just comes a-running..;)

[thought I'd do the font manipulation trick to impress the newbie also ...] :ok:

5th Oct 2005, 16:46
But we haven't had a decent sacrificial lamb round here for ages

Oh no? What about philip2004uk?????

Our own resident Mr. Happy -------- but we love 'im! ;)

5th Oct 2005, 16:48
You is one evil man there young Weebl.

Solid Rust Twotter
5th Oct 2005, 17:39
Nice kick off, Wrong Way!:ok:

...Or would you prefer to be called Mr Napolitano? :E

6th Oct 2005, 11:46
"He will rue the day. I'm talking imminent ruage" - Dusty, Twister

Martin:"I wish I'd brought my gun....."
Debbie:"What did you say?"
Martin:"This should be fun!"
-Grosse Pointe Blank

"I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork...."- Grosse Pointe Blank

"I love my dead gay son!"- Heathers

"This here's my boom stick"- Evil Dead 3 Army of Darkness

"I don't patronise bunny rabbits!"- Heathers

"We're taking this bl**dy car to Invercargill!" - Goodbye Pork Pie

"Lets get them DOWN SAFE!" (Large safe crashes to floor in background)- Airplane 2

Actually almost anything from either 'Airplane movie'. And loads of stuff from 'Brazil' that I can't remember exactly.

6th Oct 2005, 12:11
From Bend It Like Beckham

Spoken by the confused 90 yr old granny: "But why did she call her a lesbian? She is born in April!"

(by the wonderful Zohra Sehgal in a cameo appearance)


south coast
6th Oct 2005, 13:08
There 's two kinds of people in this world my friend, those with loaded guns, and those who dig...and you dig.


why, what you saving up to be LT, jewish?


you know what you are blondie, you are just a dirty son of a..aaarrrhhhhahhha(leading into music form good, the bad and the ugly)

Nigerian Expat Outlaw
6th Oct 2005, 13:52
"Only two things come out of Kentucky, that's Steers and Queers. And I don't see no horns on you !!"

"HEEEEEEEEEEERRE'S Johhny !!!!":ok:

Tricky Woo
6th Oct 2005, 14:09
Most of the best already covered, so here's a selection from me:

- Grandpa, last line of The Lost Boys: "That's the trouble with this town: too many goddamn vampires."

- Julius Caesar: "Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in-fa-mee!"

- Beggar, in Life of Brian (after Brian survives a spaceship crash): "You lucky barstard".

- The Producers, curtains open, and full chorus sings: "Springtime for Hitler, and Germany!"


6th Oct 2005, 14:12
"Welcome back Tricky Woo".

I'm not sure what movie that was in. :(

Hover Auto
6th Oct 2005, 15:11
One of my favourite has to be :
Fcuk you, you Fcuking Fcuk.

10 points for anyone that can tell me which movie its from.

Oh and i like:
Thats no moon, Its a space station!

south coast
6th Oct 2005, 15:25

is it platoon?

i can hear the line in my head, and am 99% sure it is a 'nam film.

do i get the points?

ok, here's one, 20 points if you get this...

'bull sh*t mr. han-man, you walked straight out a comic book'

Darth Nigel
6th Oct 2005, 15:30
Hover ... was it "GoodFellas"???

White Bear
6th Oct 2005, 18:14
I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!

7th Oct 2005, 09:12
" So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to kill them all, anybody who did it, anybody who profited, anybody who looks at me"


Man on Fire, brilliant film

tony draper
7th Oct 2005, 09:15
Enter the Dragon, Mr South Coast, easy peasy.

From Hollywoods Richard the Lionheart.

"War war war, Dicky Plantagenet thats all you think about"