View Full Version : Hypothetical....

Buster Hyman
1st Sep 2005, 07:10
You wake up one morning & realise that you are now a member of the opposite sex! What is the first thing you do???

Me? I'd log onto Pprune & look up that G spot thread!:E

1st Sep 2005, 07:34
Put the toilet seat down..... :cool:

1st Sep 2005, 07:46
Lock the bedroom door...

1st Sep 2005, 07:48
And I wouldn´t have a thing to wear. :{


1st Sep 2005, 08:08
Win an argument even if I am in the wrong!

1st Sep 2005, 08:09
Go to the bar and get some free drinks.

That is after spending a few hours behind closed doors! :)

1st Sep 2005, 08:13
Find myself an 80 year old multi-millionaire!:cool:

1st Sep 2005, 08:34
Learn how to do the dishes and nag. Forget how to drive.

1st Sep 2005, 10:21
Buster.....men have a G-Spot to.....only yours is up your arse! (can I type arse on this site??)

apparently, if you can find it it's supposed to induce amazing orgasms in you guys!

Orac, you should do what my ex bf used to do....borrow mine!

As for the rest, well we have our moments don't we ;)

From a female perspective I think it'd be a horror story, can't think of anything about a man that woulkd make me want to be one!


1st Sep 2005, 10:46
You wake up one morning & realise that you are now a member of the opposite sex! What is the first thing you do???

Think -"How the :mad: am I going to explain this to the wife when she wakes up?"

1st Sep 2005, 10:48
1) Go on a diet
2) Look for some Argentinian polo players. A friend of my better half speaks highly of their endowments and stamina.
3) At my age, probably have a hot flush

1st Sep 2005, 10:57
Shave me legs and admire myself in the mirror...

surely not
1st Sep 2005, 11:17
have a lesbian affair 'cos I still wouldn't fancy kissing a bloke or giving a BJ :yuk: :yuk:

1st Sep 2005, 11:30

1st Sep 2005, 13:16
Kill myself before my first period arrives!

surely not
1st Sep 2005, 15:41
What and miss the opportunity to be utterly objectionable to everyone and not get the blame??? Worth suffering just the once surely??

1st Sep 2005, 15:59
Would anyone mind if I played with myself until I got used to my new circumstances? Also, I have memories of quite a few rather lovely ladies who turned out to be lesbians and perhaps explained my lack of success at the time. It would make sense therefore, if one was to look them up...?! :E

1st Sep 2005, 16:14
Perhaps if you did, Airship, they might suddenly claim to be rampant heterosexuals? :}

Minty Fresh
1st Sep 2005, 16:32
So the majority of us would have a [email protected] then

How come we can't think of anything different to do!!

Helli-Gurl - No you can't say arse and you certainly can't say arse twice in one sentance!!

Darth Nigel
1st Sep 2005, 17:12
Speed reading strikes again...

I was reading Helli-gurl's post, and skipped a word or two (that's what us fast readers do). Came away with:
Buster.....men have a G-Spot too.....only yours is up your arse!
graf edited out for irrelevance
You should do what my ex bf used to do....borrow mine!
Couldn't quite figure out how the bf borrowed Helli's arse, but figured it explained the "ex" bit :O

As to me, my biggest worry would be figuring out how to live on 75% of my current salary.

1st Sep 2005, 17:12
Rub me tits


1st Sep 2005, 17:18
Get laid every night and than get called a [email protected]


1st Sep 2005, 17:33
You wake up one morning & realise that you are now a member of the opposite sex! What is the first thing you do???

I would start thinking on how in the world could I explain to my daughter that from that point on she would have two Mothers, one pretty normal and the other a hairy troglodyte.

From a female perspective I think it'd be a horror story, can't think of anything about a man that woulkd make me want to be one!

So what's wrong with us guys anywayz? Are we not interesting enough? After a quick quiz at the office I've found that lot of my female co-workers would love to be a man, or at least born as one.


1st Sep 2005, 17:40
First thing: Look down and wonder what the hell I'm supposed to scratch now.:confused:
Second thing: Look in the mirror and realise the beard doesn't go with breasts.
Third thing: Gasp in wonder as I discover the loo seat can be put down.

Onan the Clumsy
1st Sep 2005, 17:45
I'd have to first figure out what I am before I could know what I was to become.


B Fraser
1st Sep 2005, 17:57
I would call the other half and tell him that my car has a flat tyre and snigger quietly as he tries to work out what I expect him to do as he is in the office 60 miles away and up to his arse in reports (yes you can say it). :O

It must be nice when he calls you back to make sure you're ok and tells you that from now on you are on his breakdown cover.

I just hope "herself" sees the funny side of this :}

One thing I will honestly say is that my piloting skills will have improved 10,000 % and my office window will now be at FL350 :cool:

1st Sep 2005, 18:06
Hope that the man I'm with has turned gay!!?? :ok: :p



1st Sep 2005, 18:24
Well w*nking seems to be popular, but as ex blokes - would we have a clue what to do with the brand new girl bits.

..could be a bit of a disappointment...

then you'd have to get a brazilian, have a period, and get overly concerned about the environment and the colour of wallpaper.

And eat couscous all the time. No more Pot Noodles.

1st Sep 2005, 18:38
I'd write a new thread and a post which didn't get deleted.

Ain't having much luck as a bloke. :(

1st Sep 2005, 21:16
I might finally understand what the 'eck Dustin Hoffman was on about when he said to Jessica Lange in Tootsie: "I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man."

Td55, you've really hurt my feelings now... :{

Buster Hyman
1st Sep 2005, 23:20
men have a G-Spot too.....only yours is up your arse!

Helli girl...Is it direction sensitive? I don't seem to feel anything exceptional "exiting" matter and, since I have a tattoo on my arse saying "Exit Only", I'll never quite know how it works...the other way!!!:uhoh: :ugh:

Atlas Shrugged
2nd Sep 2005, 01:11
Learn how to reverse park

2nd Sep 2005, 01:38
Men have a G-spot too...only yours is up your arse!

...and I know some guys who couldn't find their arse with both hands and a funnel.

2nd Sep 2005, 03:48
Make my dinner.

Onan the Clumsy
2nd Sep 2005, 04:28
I often though humans would be better off being androgynous and then entering a breeding cycle and morphing in to a randomly selected gender. A little like Vulcans and logic :8

If nothing else, it would certainly cut down on gender discrimination

2nd Sep 2005, 04:37
aren't squid asexual? Well deep fried calamari tastes good (if there's enough garlic and lemon)


Buster Hyman
2nd Sep 2005, 06:17
aren't squid asexual
I don't know, but if you told it to Go f*@# itself!, it would know how!

3rd Sep 2005, 05:31
I don't think it's directional sensitive Buster, I'll ask my Ex when I speak to him next as I can't somehow see him replying to this post when he reads it......but he's bound to know....

But I am told on good authority you have great orgasms if it's handled right ;)

I am also told on good authority it's the method for getting you guys to perfom at the Sperm Bank, so when the Nurse asks if you need any help, don't go getting all excited now ! ;) prepared yoursef doe a glas rod up your arse! (oops I said arse again didnt I :O

Buster Hyman
3rd Sep 2005, 07:06
if it's handled right
Here, here! Never use your left!:ugh: :} :ouch:

Now...very interesting point about your Ex & how he'd know about this sorta stuff! How will we know him when he posts???:E

3rd Sep 2005, 07:25
He'll be the one in dress 4 sizes too small for him ! ;)


Takan Inchovit
3rd Sep 2005, 07:36
:oh: YOU BITCH! You said you wouldnt tell anyone!!!! :suspect:

3rd Sep 2005, 10:24
hahhaahahaha.....Change ya user name have you hunni???

In that case, Can I have my thong and vibrator back!?? ;)


Takan Inchovit
3rd Sep 2005, 10:35
Nope, finders keepers. :p :p :p

Minty Fresh
3rd Sep 2005, 12:01
Helli-Gurl, thongs and vibrators mmmmmmmm

Minds workin in overdrive!!

Dam it - why did I have to be at work:}

3rd Sep 2005, 12:14
On a nice day like this Minty....that's criminal

I think someone else's mind is working overtime to ! ;)


Buster Hyman
3rd Sep 2005, 15:13
...does the vibrator help to get the thong off???:confused:

3rd Sep 2005, 15:38
I'd love to say, like everybody else, that I'd spend the day investigating my new curves and crevices (repeatedly), however I belive I'd probably be overwhelmed by a desire to go shopping for shoes.


Exhaust Manifold
3rd Sep 2005, 16:19
Moan about how heavy shopping bags are and not accept any help from anyone who offers. Continue moaning ;)

Onan the Clumsy
3rd Sep 2005, 18:09
EM but you seem to manage that so well in your current gender :}

3rd Sep 2005, 19:08
Throw out any war movie video/dvds I have because theyre boring and horrible and why would I want to watch them again, sure I've already seen them. Then I'd buy a keep fit DVD and never watch it.

henry crun
3rd Sep 2005, 22:39
Put my car keys somewhere and 10 minutes later forget where I put them.

4th Sep 2005, 17:23
i've never lost my car keys...however I have misplaced the entire car a few times!


shut that door
4th Sep 2005, 17:29
Warm a cucumber and have some fun.... Do girls really lick their nipples? :E

Onan the Clumsy
4th Sep 2005, 17:30
I'm not sure I'd be ready for my first period. I think I'd start with a comma instead.

4th Sep 2005, 20:42
Hmmmmmm.......... now today I've got to........no on second
thoughts......Hmmmm perhaps I will after all.

Look don't harass me!! Have you remembered it's your mother's
birthday in four days time. I bet you haven't even bought her a
card. Why is it ALWAYS left to me.

Oh yes, the cistern's leaking again.
When you've fixed that you can run me to the hairdressers.
Pick me up again around midday then take me to lunch - and I don't mean a BAR LUNCH!!

You aren't listening to a word I'm saying.


Yep, I could get to like the idea!