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Navajo8686
31st Aug 2005, 10:58
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned
out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then, I'll replace the wiring until it's up
to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I?
Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the
dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more
perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the
situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light
bulb!
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still wet on the carpet in the
dark.
11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light
bulb."
12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
13. Australian Cattle Dog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little
circle...
14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By
the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.


How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
The Cat's Answer: Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light
bulbs. So, the real question is: "How long will it be before I can expect
some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS,
CATS HAVE STAFF! :p

Jerricho
31st Aug 2005, 16:02
I know I've posted it before, but now seems as appropriate as ever..............

(Once again, sorry for the swears. Sing along if you know the words)


You know..

Dogs arenít clever
they eat their own dung
they whine like babies
and sweat through their tongue
The big ones are stupid
the small are high strung
but cats are c****

You know..

Dogs are filthy
they get ticks and fleas
they drag their asses
and give Lyme disease
you have to train them,
pick up their crap
on your knees
but cats are c****

1, 2, 3..

cats are c****
c**** are cats
cats are c****
c**** are cats
itís easy to learn
so letís all say that

cats are c****
c**** are cats
cats are c****
c**** are cats
so spread the word
through your own habitat

You know..

Dogs get rabies
they drool and they fart
they drink from toilets,
theyíre not very smart
they get worms
but their better than their counterpart
cause cats are c****

why do you think they call it pussy?

Krystal n chips
31st Aug 2005, 17:36
Well given your sartorial concepts--and now your musical appreciation Jerricho-----how much are the Lo-co's marketing depts. paying you as a role model mate ? ;) :E

C'mon admit it----your just a teensy bit envious of the puddy life style aren't you :p

cos I b£££dy well am ! :{

Jerricho
31st Aug 2005, 19:14
Ok Krystal, I admit it.

Although, the lifestyle of a pussy certainly has it's ins and outs.

The Voice
31st Aug 2005, 21:03
'scuse me Mr Jerricoo .. to which tune do I sing along to?

this is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time!! :E

Jerricho
31st Aug 2005, 22:44
It's a fairly monotone tune, M'lady Voice.

As to the rhythm.........

Da-da-dada,
Da-da-da-da-da.
Da-da-dada,
Da-da-da-da-da.

"Dogs-aren't-clever,
They-eat-their-own-dung,
They-whine-like-babies,
and-sweat-through-their-tongues" :ok:

JudyTTexas
1st Sep 2005, 01:56
How does a Beagle change a light bulb: I'll eat it when she's not looking. ...now back to pulling the toilet tissue off the roll