MPA bars

[D-IFF_ident]

Can anyone remind me of the names of the bars around MPA? Especially can't remember Bristow's place, 1312 (whoosh) I got - the Queen Vic, what are the others?

And what's the big accommodation block called, wher the messes etc are? I'm getting old...

[frodo_monkey]

Would you mean the 'Death Star'?

1435 Flt has 'The Goose'...

F_M :D

[Eccles]

78 had the Tiger bar & Lot22. I belive the block was known as 12 Facility.

E.

[FFP]

Castaways . . . .

Queen Vic is no more. Buldozed for a car parking space I think . . ..

[ZH875]

One end of the Death Start was 12 Facility, the other end was 38 Facility, they became collectively known as 'The Facility' at the back end of 99.

Eng Wg HQ had Timmy's bar.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/ZH875/CopyofMpa.jpg

[The Rocket]

As well as The Goose, 1435 also has the Eyrie Bar which is now held in the former Castaways, and The Swamp, which is the SNCO's bar.

Sharkey's, The Crab and Sprocket, Timmy's, Steamers, Lot 22....etc..

And the stackers friday night bar, the name of which escapes me?

[BEagle]

Another BEagle original! I originally christened it the 'Deathstar' during OP. LAMPUCA in May 1986.

The name seems to have stuck!

I'm not surprised that the 'Vic' met its maker - it was getting out of hand and living on borrowed time when I last did time in the Islas Malvinas as Dep OC Air Wing.

[The Rocket]

Not only the Vic that met it's maker around that time,

Most of the bars on MPA were shut down strangely around the same time as the NAAFI's were refurbed. Some were beginning to open again at the end of last year, but the fact that the Vic was a sh**hole, and was falling apart was a major nail in it's coffin. Timmy's was also closed indefinately, despite probably being one of the best bars on camp.

Besides the Goose and The Eyrie of course!!

Who are we????:p

[Max Contingency]

D-IFF_Ident - The one you asked for in the original post (the Bristows bar) is 'Erics'. Not that well know as it was strictly an invite only bar. However, like all of the bars I doubt if a female ever got turned away!

The greatest loss to MPA had to be 'The Lot 22' or as it was billed 'The South Atlantic's premier Nite Club'. It opened on a Tuesday night. The doors were shut when it reached 240 people (fire regs!) and there would often be another hundred turned away.

Infamously called Lot 22 because this was the lot number that the original Portacabin had in the surplus sale after the MPA original build before it was 'borrowed' by a Chinook from 78 Sqn!

[KENNYR]

Ahhhh, the memories.........Erics on a Wednesday night (back in the early eighties) was the "in-place" to drink. It was a terrific place until the F4 jocks came in all dressed up in their grow-bags, sleeves rolled up, wearing sunglasses (at night?????) telling us all about how they did this or how they did that etc........ Loved the place.

[Mr C Hinecap]

Rocket.

Perchance you have trouble remembering 'Shadeys'?

It seems to be a common problem from those frequenting the establishment.

[AlanM]

Ahhh - Shadeys...... :)

Also the "Castaways" over at Air Traffic and the "Slip it Inn" which the Tels boys opened very occasionally.

[BEagle]

It says a lot about how cr@p the 'official' mess bars were that so many of these 'drinkers' sprang up on Base Aerea Gringo, Islas Malvinas.

The damn Goose should have been $hitcanned years ago. It frequently caused smoke alarms to go off at ungodly hours and the unnecessary evacuation of the Deathstar. And as for the 'pole dancing' that went on.....

We also discovered a few ilicit 'drinkers' in the accomodation roof spaces....and some very nearly catastrophic fires caused as a result.

My opinion was that ALL the non-Mess bars should have been closed. Not because I'm a killjoy, but because they were b£oody dangerous!

[WASALOADIE]

Max Cont:
Lot 22 originally came from navy point (Stanley) January1987.

As we were shifting portacabin after portacabin across the bay they were having a lot no painted on them. We tasked the hooker at the receiving end to sort out a likely cabin for our proposed facility. He designated it by placing his bergan on it. At the end of the day we hooked it up and it magically appeared outside 78, 30 mins or so later. Next day there was a complaint made to us that a portacabin was missing and there was now a gap between lots 21 & 23. The white painted lot no was quickly painted over in green following a hasty HF call. When I left in the March (2 weeks after the opening) there was a brass plaque on the lot in memory of the 7 guys who met and untimely end on 27 Feb that year, 2 of whom had been on the aircraft when we "relocated" the lot.

There were pews and old wooden seats from one of the settlements who accepted some of HMG's finest plastic chairs in exchange. The Juke box was rebuilt by the loadies and hookers after it had been smashed by one of the regiments leaving fox bay. The beer fridges were intercepted and exchanged for old medical stores fridges whilst on return from fox bay. aahh the days of RAS-ing.

Is Amos's wall (a monolith of a stone BBQ) still standing? There was also a Mirage tail plane as a BBQ table.

[Wycombe]

...I seem to recall 38 Facility was also known as "The Bronx"

[raytofclimb]

BEagle, my money is on you being a killjoy.

Close all the non-official bars? RAM IT. They're the only thing that stops MPA actually being a prison. Other than the fact that prisoners are entitled to better accommodation standards and do less than 4 months.

Most of the really dodgy bars were closed ages ago on the first round of Morale Extraction after that bull***t article in a poorly informed Red Top tabloid. The rest are fighting for survival in an over-administrated, Big-Brother existance.

"S**tcan the Goose".........what?............ Were you not interesting enough to be invited to The Goose where 1435 Flt were having fun, making too much noise for you to watch your Betamax videos of Back To The Future?

The only thing dangerous about The Goose is the little bits of slightly jagged Mirage, A-4 and GR3 wreckage exibited in the place.

Ray.

[BEagle]

I shall not rise to your bait of abusive personal comment, RoC, which in any case is utterly irrelevant.

Examine the original raison d'etre for the 'unit' bars. That no longer exists. As I wrote earlier, it is the state of the 'official' bars which deserves scrutiny. When I was first there 19 years ago, the official mess bars were very popular and social life thrived. But over the years people became increasingly disenchanted with everything from the bar prices to the stupid dress requirements; as a result, the unofficial drinking dens became increasingly popular. Regrettably, those who ran them didn't always do it well - and the disruption to the many caused by the antics of the thoughtless few in the Goose very nearly led to its closure after the third evacuation in 2 weeks caused by smoke alarms. However, it was given a gypsy's and things improved for a while.

That was the effect. Perhaps the cause merits further assessment? Why, for example, should anyone some 8000 miles from civilisation be obliged to abide by a dress code more formal than anything required at their home base? That just drives people into an alternative society, not a particularly healthy state of affairs.

Of course the fact that people are thousands of miles away from home defending the place from a non-existent threat doesn't help.

[Maple 01]

Speaking as an ex-baldric who spent most of my time 'Down South' on the Mountains, on my rear trips into MPA I tried not to drink in the NAAFI

Yes Beags, the messes might have been OK if the rules were relaxed (and one of my SNCOs at the time complained about the antiquated rules in his mess too) but where were us pondlife to go? The advantage of the small bars is that they were all-rank, cheap, friendly and you could keep the Pongos out.

Unless you wanted to fight the RIC and pay outrageous prices for out of date drink in a part of the complex that was even more soulless that the rest of the Death star the NAAFI was a place to avoid.

[cpmafia]

Any truth in the stories that the asi cage and all "non-naffi run bars" have been closed by the mini morale hunter?

[C130 Techie]

Whilst I fully agree with BEagles comments, the better run bars such as the Queen Vic, Lot 22, Timmys etc, provided an excellent boost to the various section funds. This enabled them to provide us with some of those home comforts which made life just about bearable.

In addition the regular refurbishments provided a much welcomed diversion for the inmates

[BEagle]

C130 Techie, yes, at one stage that Queen Vic was well run and achieved precisely what you describe. Regrettably, however, that was not always the case. It needed a bit of direction and a modicum of leadership from the 1312 SNCOs (with minimal input from the OC) - but it was looking pretty seedy the last time I saw it; things semed to be getting out of hand rather too often.

A shame really that it closed - when they ran an afternoon rugby match special by invitation only, the Vic team made a lot of money for the unit funds.

[D-IFF_ident]

Thanks for all help chaps. Only got there once - 3 weeks on alert, no boozing allowed. Here's to delaminating windows ;)

[teeteringhead]

And the other advantage of all the other bars is that when I (I mean when my mate ;) ) was banned from the OM bar for a month by the Wing Commander (miscarriage of justice) then I (I mean my mate) could drink even more than normal ......

...... and as everyone had heard of said miscarriage, then I (all right, it was me, you guessed) didn't have to buy many drinks in the other bars either .........:E

[The Rocket]

Mr C Hinecap,

Ah, Shadeys. How could I have possibly forgotten that one!:p

BEags,

Whatever happened to variety being the spice of life? As Raytofclimb said, the unofficial bars ARE the only thing that keeps the island from becoming a prison.

Imagine having 4 months of drinking in the same cr4ppy, overpriced bar every night with no prospect of anything different. As if it's not like Groundhog Day as it is! The fact that there are different bars you can visit gives you an element of normality in your life. Would you be happy at home only ever being able to drink in one place?
And as for The Goose:oh: How dare you sir!! The most dangerous thing there is the prospect of your eyes turning square from sitting so close to that ENORMOUS projection screen TV!!:p

[BEagle]

...showing 16:9 DVDs of Back to the Future, no doubt!

:p to raytofdecay!

[Fox_4]

Beagle

Wonders may never cease!

You are FOR closing the only things that stop 99% of people swinging by their issue shoelaces in their box rooms!

You need to get down to the fun vacuum and enjoy the mess bar on your own!

The rest of us will traipse around the base finding sheds with fun bars in them!

ROCK ON "THE GOOSE"!!! Invite only now I believe.

Guess you probably wouldnt get one with that anti-fun attitude.

:cool:

[raytofclimb]

To set the record straight, The Goose is not an unofficial bar. It is the crew room, or Lounge, of the 1435 Flt Aircrew. It doesn't serve beer.

It does however, have a stock of cans for off duty aircrew to drink. Interesting guests (soz Beagle) are invited to attend on an ad hoc basis and are allowed to be there under some strict rules.

Granted, others have spoilt it for the rest in the past.... hence the strict rules.



p.s. BEagle, why you call the Falkland Islands the Malvinas? Do you still call Iraq Mesopotamia?

[mystic_meg]

p.s. BEagle, why you call the Falkland Islands the Malvinas?

Don't go there....been done before on here...

Now then...what was the name of the Catering bar that had a cracking quiz night on a (I think) Tuesday?
Packed out....smoke so thick you could cut it with a knife, and some very obscure questions, but IIRC a big pot for the winners, and some SERIOUS rivalry!!

[The Rocket]

what was the name of the Catering bar

Cats Cradle?

As regards the BEagle-Malvinas debacle, Heard BEags reasons/excuses before, however, I still think personally that he is slightly out of order to insist on referring to the islands as the Malvinas.

I'm sure that the families of the 255 Britons who died ensuring that the Falkland Islands remained named as such would agree with me also

(Climbs off soapbox)

[iccarus]

.... malvinas.....really beags....they used to hang people like you!

Scrap the goose.....what a party pooper! - long gone are the days of the blah jet mob, most of the antics you refer to happened bloody years ago!

Begs the question though - at what stage in ones air force career does one turn from being a good lad into a dour old killjoy?

I've had the privilidge to hear some great stories on this forum - many of which were from you beags!! Does us a favour, just remember what it was like when you were one of those young whipper snappers and try not to spoil what little fun is left in this air force for the rest of us!!

Ps
Begs the question - serving members of Her Majestys' finest get issued phone cards on det - currently 15mins a week i think. How does that compare to the allowance for those detained at Her Majestys' pleasue??

[16 blades]

20 mins actually, but still next to useless. There are only two places on this planet that I have visited and been unable to get a mobile phone signal - one of those is the Falklands, the other is my kitchen!

BEags, you are not going to win this argument. I fully agree that mess dress regs are a pain in the arse, and that the nature of the place demands some after-hours drinking if one is to remain sane. Having said that, the Goose is STILL a pain in the arse, and populated by arrogant fag-chariot drivers / passengers (who invite you to their bar and then proceed to spend the next 2 hours either ignoring you or telling you how great they are and how insignificant you are in comparison). Do you think the fact that the Goose survived the 'bar cull' has anything to do with who provides the heirarchy in MPA? The Vic was a far superior boozer, and was far enough from those who wished / needed to sleep as to not cause disturbance. It DID however, as timmy's does now to an extent, rely on somebody laying on transport.

However, I'm hardly surprised at your views, being a (former) obsolete-airliner-driver - your days there will have been spent on permanent Q, thereby not giving a **** WHAT bars were open. As others here have suggested, have a thought for your fellow man!

Castaways still has potential, if only it could stock a better range of imbibements than the current 'yellow / brown / red / go thirsty' options. Timmy's has now re-opened as an 'official' bar of sorts - and as with the Vic, it isn't right next door to / directly above some poor sod that might want to get some sleep as they've got an 0230 report for a south sandwich run - something the Goose is routinely guilty of.

The Chard is still alive and well, but as is typical with the Army, you can't have a drink there with your entire crew as it's an Officer's only affair, and there's a dress code, leaving opening times as the only advantage over the mess. There is a HUGE market gap at the moment, which could be filled with a bit of imagination from 1312flt (the ONLY aircrew unit that currently do NOT have a bar/ large crewroom facility in the block). You need the following, IMHO:

1: Bar needs to be within walking distance of accomodation.
2: Bar needs to be isolated from main accomodation areas, so as not to attract criticism / complaints from those who NEED to go to bed!
3: Bar needs to stock a FULL range of drinks, not just a fridge full of cans.
4. Bar needs to be invite only, to avoid gate crashing by squaddies after hours.

A couple of portakabins out the back of 'Albert Hall' maybe?

16B

[BEagle]

16B, your description of the 'Goose' is pretty much as I remember it....

The idea that "...the nature of the place demands some after-hours drinking if one is to remain sane." would doubtless raise a few eyebrows in certain quarters. I don't agree that it 'demands' after-hours drinking; however, I do agree that if the messes and official 'pubs' don't meet your needs, then some reasonable alternative should be available.

A 'New Vic' as you describe would seem a good idea. But as an ex-inmate of the 1312 facility, I was always of the view that the Flt should be out of bounds to the Vic's patrons.

However, as a "(former) obsolete-airliner-driver", my days were not exclusively as a member of 1312 "spent on permanent Q, thereby not giving a **** WHAT bars were open." So I do have some sympathy - but the chief fault lay with the mess regulations which drove people underground.

Anway, no doubt much to the relief of many, I shall leave any further comment to those unfortunates who still have to spend their lives thousands of miles away defending the Bennies from the clear and present threat posed by the Argentine hordes some 23 years after the war ended.....

Of course there is such a threat, isnt't there......?

[Mr C Hinecap]

Musing on the subject of non-Mess bars in locations such as MPA:

As a humble ground-dweller, it is my fantastic fortune to be designated as OC 'something'. This is so fantastic because it means I usually have 'people' as part of the 'something'. The funny thing is, those 'people' are not of my rank. This strange set of circumstances is what most of the RAF runs under.
Having non-Mess bars is vital to the morale of the Forces. I really like the people I work with and want to have a beer with them at times. Granted, the MPA drinking culture is OTT, but I can't change that from here.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. :ok:

[Wycombe]

BEags, of course there is no such threat.... but I think the real reasons for our continued spending on those godforsaken islands are starting to become more well known

Oil! (http://www.bgs.ac.uk/falklands-oil/download/download_files/news.pdf)

[Brain Potter]

Its not so many years ago (or is it?) that there were 2 tanker crews doing alternate 24 hour shifts on Q. The off-duty crew could then "enjoy" the various bars - which was probably the regime in force for most Beagles time at MPA. I didn't mind the Goose at all, because whenever we were over that side of the airfield it meant we were off-duty until 1600 the next day and could be as pissed as the next man.

Much prefer it the current way though. I'd rather get the det over with quickly instead of double the pain for the sake of a cumulative couple of weeks with nothing to do in the tropical paradise. Plus South America is only a phone call and 3 hours flying away:O Shame about the Vic though.

At least the management down there haven't imposed a two-can rule in order to keep their "operational :hmm: " theatre in line with slightly sandier (and actually operational) places.


16 B - Obsolete equipment banter?? Even Typhoon gets that!

The VC10 may be an obsolete airliner but the MPA frame now represents a worringly high proportion of total tanker fleet.

Solution - stick AAR pods on some C130s and then one crew and frame can do QRA, routine AAR, MRR, Comp A, South Georgia recce etc. As a bonus the frames in the UK can then be used for Helo AAR. Now which Herc shall we use - J or K? Of course according to different LYE sources one is obsolete and one is rubbish...... :ok:

[mystic_meg]

Solution - stick AAR pods on some C130s and then one crew and frame can do QRA, routine AAR, MRR, Comp A, South Georgia recce etc.

...course, it's all been done before (albeit with a single, centreline HDU)...I think the main problems concerning the demise of the C130 tankers was excessive FI (that's fatigue index, not falkland islands!) and lower giveaway (from a single hose) than the 'mighty' ten. Although I'd like to see a -10 dropping HPs at Sth Georgia....
You'll have to wait for the A400 for a 'tactical' AAR asset....

[Brain Potter]

I think the excessive fatigue on the Albert tankers was caused by the HDU and extra fuel tanks hurriedly bolted into the Cargo Bay, coupled with some years of operating at Max MOS weights in order to sustain the Falklands airbridge. A short bodied C130 with 2 wing pods and no extra fuel tanks (except perhaps Aux tanks underwing for a J) would easily have enough off-load for routine Falklands Air Defence purposes. Mind you, so would a buddy pod, or just putting the F3s into Lima fit. ;)

We shouldn't be talking about the damn place anyway. Its like old lags swapping prison stories after they've been released. :yuk:

Hello to everyone currently "inside" :ok:

[C130 Techie]

A short bodied C130 with 2 wing pods and no extra fuel tanks (except perhaps Aux tanks underwing for a J) would easily have enough off-load for routine Falklands Air Defence purposes

As a humble techie can I ask how you would cover the requirement (if there really is one) for diversion fuel for both tanker and receivers. I ask this after having spent many happy hours in the early - mid 90s refuelling/defuelling the C130 tankers up to/down from 88k at all hours of the night. Were we just wasting our lives??

[N Arslow]

I have to give all those MPA bars a :ok: I went down there twice, made some exceptionally good mates across the service divide, percy and crab. Don't think I could have named more than one or two of the bars although I stumbled into most. I hate drinking out of cans now but it was Dinger of 1312 and his gin that destroyed the most cells. Ah - strangely happy days!
Found myself horse trekking in the Andes a while ago and my guide's father was a regular on the other side at the time of the punch up. It is history even though a tad awkward as a conversation piece in BA. Funny where they built their memorial.

[Data-Lynx]

Agree with 16B on opportunities for improvement. What else is there? Tried Stanley as a social alternative during an earlier stint this year and met a man in the Globe. He was not local and was still relatively sober, but he announced that a few beers in Stanley was a return to civilisation and provided some company! He had been putting up a cabin for BAS on Bird Island, off South Georgia.
I think I'll stay inside the compound next time.

[Brain Potter]

C-130 Techie

The Nato AAR Manual ATP-56A states that the KC-130 has a normal max fuel load of 72,000lbs. This is about the same total fuel as a VC10 tanker at max landing weight. So simplisticly (and assuming that C-130 div fuel is much, much less than a VC10) a KC-130 scrambled from alert would provide more instantaneously transferrable fuel than a VC10 that was about to land. The Herc also has better crosswind limits and can use the short runway.

So to answer your question:

Were we just wasting our lives??

Like a lot of other people down there - yes :D

Seriously though, I think there will always be a requirement to have 2 airframes in theatre capable of reaching S.America for Comp cases, in case one was u/s. Could be 2 Herc tankers though. Perhaps we have found a use for the C Mk 5 :p


Whoosh :ok:

[monkeybumhead]

Going back to the subjet of MPA bars, I think I have found a good future use of the next 10 to be scraped. Fly it down to the rock, park it out of the way where nobody will be disturbed, chop the legs off, remove all the good salvageable bits and revive the vic. It would make a good novelty bar.
Altervatively use one of the Mk5 Js.:ok:

[Talking Radalt]

But anyway.....
I heard recently Lot22 has gone completely. Not just "closed pending a new OC Admin" but completely stripped of it's fixtures, fittings and decor and returned to storing nets, spare strops and other cr@p for JHSU.
'Course following the opening of All-New Lot 22 the original got pulled over/fell apart/collapsed so now there's no where for Lot night to go. :{
Maybe those doing four-to-six in HMP MPA can busy themselves making a jolly funny spoof pop video in order to provide some light-relief news for the very publication which took such great delight in condemning military life in the Sth Atlantic a couple of years back :rolleyes:

[Brain Potter]

I think that the last '10 to be "scraped" down there is the next one to be scrapped.

Great idea - just leave it there and turn it into the next Vic (ky Ten).

The management would probably still classify it as a "war-goer" though.

[16 blades]

The management would probably still classify it as a "war-goer" though.

...much like most of the females down there! 'War-Goers' and 'Crash Divs' aplenty!

16B

[OC 1312 Flt]

It's a funny old world! I've just wandered down the 1312 Flt corridor to check out BEagle's photo (Jan-Feb 99 and no hair if you don't believe me) and then i happened to notice the number of posts on PPrune. I have deicded that i wasn't going to let it influence me on trying to work out why there were so few invites to the Goose. You really shouldn't criticise people for having a good time, i wouldn't give you a hard time for sitting at your computer all day fella.

16 blades, very, very disappointed to read your rant about the Goose. You may have had a bad experience there but that does not make it a bad venue. I am lucky enough to be a regular visitor there and let me set the record straight for anyone who has never been there or not been there in recent years. The Goose is unique on the Island and it caters for a huge gang of people ranging from RRS, RIC, ATC, Medics, JFLU, FISU (Loggies & Adminers in old money) and thankfully 1312 Flt. We have all been hosted excetionally well and made to feel extremely welcome. Your comments could not be farther from the truth and having just done 2 months in the FI with another 2 months to go, i hope i get the opportunity to see you down here to show you how wrong you are. The 1435 Flt guys are right on the money, doing their best to get through their tour like anyone else, in no way whatsoever do they deserve such a tirade. Times and people have changed down here and i'm sorry if some people don't like it but we all get on really well these days. However, if anyone has more up to date info then pse give me a shout.

Talking Radalt: Sadly, i have to report that your suspicions regarding the Lot are true. Timmy's is currently shared by 78 Sqn, 1312 Flt and ASF.

For anyone who doesn't miss the Queen Vic then you've never been there.

PS Where's the spell checker????

[D-IFF_ident]

Happy to oblige sir:

It’s I vice i, decided vice deicded, exceptionally vice excetionally and complete waste of time vice essential operational commitment.

Sorry, had to do that; all I wanted was some notes for Chapter 6. Send me a PM and I’ll send you a copy…

[Hoobie Schnaps]

Having had the pleasure, ney..... honour of an invite to the highly acclaimed Goose a while ago I was intrigued to see a fine selection of female under garments (much lace and not a lot of cloth) fixed to the ceiling. The 'locals' seemed terribly proud about them and claimed that the garments were given freely by a series of devastatingly gorgeous young filleys in exchange for rides in the mighty F3 or for the simple pleasure of being surrounded by the bronzed adonis' that crew such marvellous machines. Indeed, on many of the lacy things there were messages penned by the young ladies pronouncing their undying admiration of all things F3.

One strange thing though - all the messages appeared to be in the same pen and in the same handwriting - couldn't work that out.
:E

[Safeware]

Probably all from the owner's hand - someone from 111?
:)

sw

[16 blades]

OC 1312,

My 'bad' experiences of the Goose were, admittedly, probably down to a couple of individuals who were in there at the time, and not a reflection of the whole ethos of the place. I will therefore PARTIALLY withdraw those comments. I will admit that I am guilty of prejudice when it comes to fast jet w@nkers - the majority I have met have been overborne with arrogance, a trait I dislike intensely in professional aircrew - again, this may just be my own warped perception.

As a small aside, in revealing which photo BEagle appears in, have you not just 'outed' him? I thought that was a big no-no on this forum.....

16B

[Gainesy]

16B,
I'd guess that most people who are in the least bit interested have known who BEagle is for quite a few years now.

[Talking Radalt]

FJ w@nkers, multi-w@nkers, shiny fleet w@nkers......:rolleyes:
Just admit it....
You'd all rather be SH :D

[Trumpet_trousers]

...everyone's a w@nker to a lesser or greater extent, it's just that some are more overdrawn at the spermbank than others...

[The Rocket]

16B

Calm down dear.


Perhaps if you'd have been a bit better in the first place............

:cool:







Only joking of course.

[16 blades]

Did you have your FJ cross-over rejected?

Why on earth would I want to do a FJ crossover? I'm actually perfectly happy being a pie-eating truckie w@nker. And besides, MY willy's big enough.......

:E

16B

[The Rocket]

Ooh dear.

He's still a very angry little man isn't he.



Why on earth would I want to do a FJ crossover?


Why on earth indeed? To get rejected once is bad enough, but to get rejected twice is enough to finish a man off!!:}

[Saint Evil]

The news of the Lot's demise has affected me greatly.

My first trip to the islands allowed me the priviledge of drinking heavily in the squeaky, smelly and sticky portacabins that was the Lot(did some of my best work on the opposite sex in there). Still remember our aircrew night when we built the 'BirdCage' out of some rope and broomhandles - totally ineffective cage but with miraculous 'girls getting their tops off' properties.

My next few trips were all spent in the new Lot - The most Southerly night Club in the world. Remember the night when the Mexicans came down during foot and mouth back home. we managed to get them into the lot and they brought that many ruperts who were groupies. Never had there been such a concentration of chords and blazers in the lot.

Many happy memories(some a little hazy).

Editted for spelling.

[16 blades]

It's always the F3 mates that bite, isn't it?

Never mind, old chap, you'll get your chance at a real job soon enough when your fleet dies - then you too can enjoy a free ATPL at your 38 point! Just remember to get plenty of low-level in before you leave - you'll need to do something that stretches your capacity enough to give you a chance on the Herc fleet. :cool: :E

Apologies for the thread creep. MPA bars - great idea, need more of them. Of course, a half decent road to Stanley wouldn't go amiss either - you know, one you could casually drive down in a normal car without being in fear of your life. Hey - maybe even a regular bus service - now THATS an idea....

16B

[Stax]

Having done several tours at sunny MPA, here we go.

Semi Official:

Lot 22
Shadeys
Timmys
The Cats cradle
Sharkeys
The Harbour lights
The Queen Vic
Crab and Sprocket
The Underground
Steamers
MMars bar
Castaways
The Dog and Badger
The RIC bar

Official:

The Dolphin
The Gull and Flicknife (Penguin) (Now Route 66 or somesuch)
The WO and Sgts Mess
The Orifice Mess
Turners
Ronokes

Illeagal:

TC's
Rockys
The Nefi
Mare harbour RS
Poon Hill RS
Etc Etc

I had the honour to build Shadys (along with JR, Mal, Kenny T, Nic the Mateleot, Mickey & Jay the RLC boys and a few others) in 1994. I was also the last (official) manager of the Dog and Badger.

Beags: Ram it, I, personally, have spent 2 years of my life down there and a well run Sqn bar is a god send to stop you going barmy! I was there last year when the bottom Naafi was refurbished. Then funnily enough, some MOD bean counter decided there were "far too many accounts to be handled at MPA" so it would be best to close the bars!

[814man]

Stax
Can I just add to that list as an official bar (at least it was in 1997 and 2000) The Pig, Snake and Monkey. Not that anyone on this forum would ever have been in there of course (or at least admit to it).

[I_stood_in_the_door]

The best bar by far was on the MV Brandon down in Mare Harbour. One of the few places you get get spirits, heaven!!

Invite only and they had some gay boy chef (John I think) who used to camp it up and then cook you all breakfast when the sun(?) rose in the morning after a blurry eyed session. The scramble egg did taste a bit funny but hey ho.......... Apparently his 'dark' side was kept sustained by the duty RN bleep who liked a bit of rum, bum and baccy!

Best night was onboard ship in dock with a BBQ for bonfire nite (I think?). Upset one young chiny loadie (oops crewman!) when asking if his beloved groupie liked a bit of up hill gardening. Didn't go down to well, unlike the pretty (for the falks!) SES girly who could suck ping pong balls thru a tube. Should have been in films.

Happy, happy memories indeed.

ISITD

:p

[engineer(retard)]

I ran the armourers bar in the dump during my last tour and must have done a good job because I cannot remeber its name. :\

retard

[farsouth]

The Bristow bar may have been known by some as Eric's, but it was officially "The Spider's Web". It was open to company staff from end of flying each day, but generally had open nights each Sunday night (as Monday was our day off). Often got temporarily closed due to overpopularity........
Sadly, Bristow lost the contract to Brintel in 1999 after 16 years operations in the Falklands - haven't heard whether they continued to offer the same hospitality ??

[MG]

Oh yes, they certainly did!! :yuk:

[CashMachine]

Oh, yes. Brintels still run a good bar.

78 Sqn always had an open invitation as we worked in the same hanger. Although, there were numerous times when 78 people were banned (usually aircrew I might add (well, loadies anyway)).

The NAAFI mafia have gradually taken over down there and shut almost all of the bars now.

There are still some illicit bars still hanging on though!:E :ok:

[Talking Radalt]

Although, there were numerous times when 78 people were banned (usually aircrew I might add (well, loadies anyway))

And when have there ever been 78 loadies at MPA? :)

[CashMachine]

And when have there ever been 78 loadies at MPA?

Thankfully, never!

[Zoom]

I hate to admit this but I rather wish I had done a (very short) stint down there before I left. Then at least I would know a bit about the locations you are all discussing. It certainly seems that the many and various watering holes at MPA are essential if any hint of good morale is to survive in what seems to be a very depressing outpost. So ease off, BEagle.

The sketch map at the beginning was ace and is the best representation of the layout of MPA that I have seen. Thanx ZH875. I don't suppose any of you have some (sanitised) photos of the place that you can publish here. The last one I saw showed a bomb crater in the runway!

[CashMachine]

I hate to admit this but I rather wish I had done a (very short) stint down there before I left.

Zoom,

Believe me, you didn't miss anything!!

To date, I've served 4 sentences down there!

[BEagle]

"The last one I saw showed a bomb crater in the runway!"

That was Stanley, Puerto Argentino - not MPA, Base Aerea Gringo!

I've heard that some people are volunteering to go to the Malvinas these days - as a change from Bliar's desert adventurism.

[Sven Sixtoo]

Zoom

Wrong airfield.

The bomb (no 21 from Martin Withers Vulcan) landed on the runway at Stanley, and caused problems for several years after because the filled hole was not as solid as the surrounding terrain and the steel matting runway surface moved on top of it.

MPA (Mount Pleasant Airfield) is just north of the Stanley - Goose Green road and south of Pleasant Peak, about 45km west of Port Stanley.

It opened in 1985. The first fixed wing aircraft to land there (just before the official opening) was the C130 that lost half a wing in a midair with a RN Sea King.

Actually I'm really depressed I spent enough time down south to know all that.

Sven

Groan - beaten on the keyboard by a Bl00dy truckie!

[BEagle]

Hmmm - when the Malvinas war began I was on F4s.... But parted acquiantance with that aeroplane about a month before I was due to go down to Stanley.

So I did all my time down there defending bennies from the comfort of a far more civilised aeroplane. Apart from a short stretch in an office, that is.

Never did any truckie trips there though!

[Sven Sixtoo]

Apologies Beags - I had you pegged from a different background!

My favourite southern bar remains the Navy Point mess. 30-odd people from all three Services, all the fun police on the other side of the harbour, and all the boats controlled by NP residents.



OK the place was a dump but time fades out the bad bits.

Sven

[Toxteth O'Grady]

aaaah - such fond memories of the Hoobie Schnapps at Kelly's Garden.

Happy times.

:cool:

TOG

[OOpsIdiditagain]

Ah Friday night at MPA. Quickie at the Dog and Badger at 1600. Mess for food 1700, pick up Mrs and troops. Castaways Tubthumping 1900-2100, Shady.s 2100-2300. Mess 2300, Goose 0001 til 0400ish, an d still got change from a Fiver. Attempted to visit all the bars, most were great had some brilliant times in the Goose despite not being aircrew. Great place, well run and very amusing. Good pole too I remember!

[Icecoldinalex]

A little bit of BS perhaps there KENNYR. Unless there was an 'Erics' at RAF Stanley. MPA didn't open until 1985 so you couldn't have been there in the early 80s.

I think they was a bar called the 'shed' in the coastels at Stanley which was frequently quite regularly. I think the term 'getting a shed on' comes from there.

[Zoom]

Ah, sorry gents. My geography is as bad as my memory. So it's a good thing I didn't go there as I would have been late for work!

Any photos though?

[diginagain]

Icecoldetc mate - sorry to correct you there, but KennyR and my good self were in FI at the time MPA was being completed. (So was SilsoSid, a mere whipper-snapper, but let's not go there). As it happens, we had the pleasure of returning home on the first 747 out of Dodge.

Eric's was situated in a house in Stanley (was it a Wednesday? I thought it was Thursday nights). We were at Murray Heights (open house, except for Harrier pilots, on Friday nights). Short tab into town from Lookout Camp for a quiet beer. Followed by the traditional 'loads of noisy ones'.:ok:

[HOGE]

What was the section bar that had the disco made up to look like a castle? Circa mid 90's

[ZH875]

Timmy's bar had castle wallpaper that was hung to convert part of the bar area into a castle theme in 1999, could this be the place?

[L1A2 discharged]

Currently incarcerated for my 3rd tour, just for a change PMA lied ......

The dumpy bar closed many many moons ago, QAS (explosives safety inspectors) decided that it was inside the IBD (safety distance). The Southern Comfort is now restricted to gozome beercalls, max 2 per month.

And another thing ... its MPC now .....

Roll on death. Demob is too far away.

[KENNYR]

Icecold.........I sure was there in 1985, watching MPA being built and actually took the aerial pictures that featured in the MPA Brochure. Erics was the best bar in town, with the entry fee being a case of beer.

Diginagain....check your PM's mate.

[snippy]

no mention yet of The Claw on a sunday night at 1435!!!!!!!!!!

[Hammer Head Too]

Snippy

Cos even if you were a visitor you swore with your right hand on that book !!!

You'll be visited in the night you will mate !!

HH2

[Roland sizzers]

Snippy,

Assuming that, like I, you were a BNC at the C**W; you should still know that you should not divulge such secrets.

Polish your Brass, for a tarnished Jack B*****d will only lead to further trouble!

(P.S I believe the fun police have killed this premier event?)

[Vim_Fuego]

I may have been a C*%w member quite a few years ago...during a very vindictive period that somtimes, I felt, may have been allowed to go over the top...that is if what I'm talking about even happened...ssshhhh!

Returned years later on a maritime platform and took a mate down with me...after all you are a member for life..

After witnessing what happened that evening (which was only slightly softer but more high tech than I remember) he was scratching at the door to get out before the a*al raping occurred...

what was really wierd was the 'C*%W' had undergone a sex change!!

But it was all in fun :oh:

[TEEEJ]

How many of you guys remember the JSSU bar The Squirrel? A fine selection of Int Corps and RAF int ladies were to be found at the Friday beer call. All I remember is that they used to get so drunk their faces were all blurred!