PDA

View Full Version : Aviation Words of Wisdom


Ozzy
24th Aug 2005, 14:53
Seen some of of these on here but not all of them. Enjoy. Any more?

Ozzy

"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

- At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Okinawa

----------------------------------------------------------------

"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."

- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)

----------------------------------------------------------------

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."

- From an old carrier sailor

----------------------------------------------------------------

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?

If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies .
If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Never trade luck for skill." Except in golf.
Bill Reiman

----------------------------------------------------------------

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:

"Why is it doing that?"

"Where are we?"

"Oh Shit"

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"

----------------------------------------------------------------

" Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten."

----------------------------------------------------------------

" Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."

----------------------------------------------------------------

Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII:
"When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."

- Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

----------------------------------------------------------------

"A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum."

- Jon McBride, astronaut

----------------------------------------------------------------

"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible."

- Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."

- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970

----------------------------------------------------------------

"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

----------------------------------------------------------------

Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."

----------------------------------------------------------------

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?"

The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!


----------------------------------------------------------------

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur

----------------------------------------------------------------

"You, you, and you ... Panic.
The rest of you, come with me."

- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

Jerricho
24th Aug 2005, 14:55
"You're doing what? Glad it's not my licence.........."

Earthmover
24th Aug 2005, 15:05
The three greatest things in life for a pilot are a really accurate touchdown, a really great sh1t and a really fantastic orgasm.

A night Carrier-landing presents an opportunity to experience all three simultaneously :D

Bre901
24th Aug 2005, 15:47
Il n'y a pas de bons pilotes, il n'y a que de vieux pilotes.
There are no good pilots, only old pilots.

Crashed&Burned
24th Aug 2005, 16:20
If marooned in the Arctic, don't eat the yellow snow.

Loony_Pilot
24th Aug 2005, 16:31
There are 3 simple rules to making a perfect landing

Unfortunately, no-one knows what they are!

Krystal n chips
24th Aug 2005, 16:34
"If you drop one of those again, I'll bury your :mad: head in the :mad: concrete!!!"----from a rather porcine Full Cat. instructor in the rear of a Ka7 when I was an ab-initio glider pilot--due to the aromatic chemical reaction induced by Dortmunder Union, bratwurst, chips and mayo. CRM was not one of his more prominent capabilities !:rolleyes:

cyclicmicky
24th Aug 2005, 16:34
There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots.
There are no pilots both old and bold.
:}

Darth Nigel
24th Aug 2005, 16:40
Some days it is far better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air, than in the air wishing you were on the ground.

Never let desire overcome judgement (used when talking about weather -- "ooh, I'll get there well before the fog hits" -- but also true when on the pull :E

FLCH
24th Aug 2005, 16:54
That scraping sound you hear on landing , is the direct result of omitting the deployment of the friction reducing devices.....

Barnstormer1982
24th Aug 2005, 20:25
Planes and women are quite similar things.

Except for the fact that you can only fly one plane at the same time.

bigfatsweatysock
24th Aug 2005, 21:56
Not only are you ugly fat and smelly, but you cannot fly an aeroplane to save yourself. Get out of this cockpit you usless cretin and never come within punching distance of me again.
-My first flying instructor.

If it flies, fukcs or floats, rent it by the hour. It works out much cheaper in the long run.
-Someone with much more sense than me.

ehwatezedoing
24th Aug 2005, 22:45
Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV.

A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out on the 'glass cockpit' A-320.

PA-28-180
25th Aug 2005, 04:54
"It's not an emergency unless/until your moustache is on fire".
"In an emergency, the first thing you should always do is wind your watch" - got that one from my uncle who was a 30,000 hour corporate pilot at Textron when I was doing my PPL...took a few minutes to get it, but it DOES make sense!

airhead10
25th Aug 2005, 05:10
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss
Douglas Adams

If God had really intended men to fly, he would make it easier to get to the airport
George Winters

ZFT
25th Aug 2005, 10:25
If God had really intended man to fly, he would have given him more money

Lon More
25th Aug 2005, 11:58
"You have not made a marvellous improvement - I have simply lowered my standards" Instructor to me, before sending me off on my first solo back in 1966

Alf_Ripool
25th Aug 2005, 12:30
"A good landing is any one you can walk away from.

A superlative one is when you can use the plane again."

Quoted to me (over a drink) by an instructor from the ETPS, a long time ago.

Alf

Antoninus
25th Aug 2005, 14:41
The propeller is designed to keep the pilot cool.
The proof is that when the propeller stops the pilots starts sweating.

Altitude is your friend. You do not collide with the sky.

New airline smoking rules: Smoking is allowed on board when more than fifty percent of the engines are out of operation.

SkySista
25th Aug 2005, 14:54
Sent to me by a pilot friend a long while ago:

New FAA motto: We're not happy, till you're not happy.

Two wrongs don't make a right; but two Wrights made an airplane!

CAUTION: Aviation may be hazardous to your wealth. (I'm proof of that!! :p )

The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.

And perhaps the best piece of advice:

Be nice to your First Officer.S/he may be your Captain at your next airline! :E

fishtits
25th Aug 2005, 17:57
Don't shag the help...

None of the above
25th Aug 2005, 19:25
The Pilot's Desiderata
by Thomas F. Legg
Discover your far horizons; but embrace the sky softly, quietly, so that others of your kind may follow.

Know your limitations from moment to moment and be humble when the elements are against you.

Accept advice from those before you, seeking out their truths.

Use your temper as a catalyst to keep you advancing; guarding it with vigilance though, lest you be obliged to bite your tongue.

Leave your mistakes behind you, noting their lessons as part of your tuition for learning.

If you quit - and will want to - beginning again will be lonely.

You cannot know the colour of truth unless you wear its cloth; therefore let honesty itch your mind, gleaming conspicuous in the eyes.

If you become hostage to the fear of the unknown, challenge it with tenacity; keeping in mind, however, that only a fool is fearless.

Remember how lucky you are to see and touch the sky; the blind may only dream.

Be the opportunist; the forever hesitant are losers.

In each of us there is a conflict - daydreaming versus reality. May dreaming prod your curiosity, but reality wield the sword.

Expect the unexpected. It will develop an awareness for Murphy's Law; if something can go wrong - - it will.

Your time on this earth is a perpetual flight plan cancelled with your passing; you are wise then, to spend each day as though it were your last among those of the living.

You are entitled to complain; use maturity if you do.

With your wings you will receive wisdom, courage and joy, but moreover you will have joined the college of a thousand friendships; never forget them.

Fly at the wind from every quarter; climb high, hesitate and tumble. Yet above all, know when it is time to fold your fragile wings. Remember you are not God-like, but a mere mortal, vulnerable - a pilot, and that is world enough.

hingey
25th Aug 2005, 22:33
The chances of survival are inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.

h

Standard Noise
26th Aug 2005, 07:32
Aviation words of wisdom - Work in another industry

mauricehonner
26th Aug 2005, 07:51
a quote from the late great Barry Firth


- you only need two things to fly.................air speed and money!

Smudger
27th Aug 2005, 16:39
My favourite is from the RAF flight training record forms;

"When this student starts the engine of an aeroplane he initiates a chain of events over which he has no further control".

Earthmover
28th Aug 2005, 00:51
I knew a Very Rich Man (some skill there, no doubt about it, and a pleasant sort of chap - but a total lack of any judgement or humility whatsoever) who liked to play with his toys - Ferraris (and the plural is deliberate) Harley, Helicopter, and .... the aerobatic biplane.

After he'd smeared it, (no injuries) a close friend of mine who doesn't fly at all remarked

"You know, the poor fellow hasn't twigged yet that the aeroplane doesn't know how rich he is .... "

A good spot from a non-aviator I thought

innuendo
28th Aug 2005, 01:00
Try not to run out of airspeed, altitude and ideas at the same time.

AntiCrash
28th Aug 2005, 03:37
If God had wanted man to fly, He would not have invented the FAA.

Airman, maintain thy airspeed, lest the earth rise and smite thee, mightily.

We need how many aeroplanes? Couldn't we just buy two or three and let the lads take turns flying them? (President Calvin Coolidge) Funny guy, he was.

planepsycho
28th Aug 2005, 15:50
"Keep thy airspeed up lest the earth come from below to smite thee"

"If you're going down at night turn on your landing light, if you don't like what you see, turn it off"

Atlas Shrugged
29th Aug 2005, 02:35
The four most useless things in aviation - the runway behind you, the airspace above you, the fuel you left behind and 2 seconds ago

Captain Sand Dune
29th Aug 2005, 03:02
I thought the fourth one was navigators!:}

Atlas Shrugged
29th Aug 2005, 04:06
Oh yeah, forgot.

Anyone got a sixth?

scran
29th Aug 2005, 04:16
NASA - Faster, Higher, Cheaper - Choose any two

thedeadseawasonlysick
31st Aug 2005, 22:05
Atlas Shrugged:

A world wide set of Jeppersons with the one page you need missing.

Smudger
3rd Sep 2005, 19:04
A poster, from the RAF's 'Air Clues' flight safety magazine, about a hundred years ago, (when I was in flying training), declared; "The superior pilot uses his superior ability to avoid situations which might require the use of his superior skill".

Lon More
3rd Sep 2005, 21:02
Never allow the aircraft to go somewhere you weren't five minutes ago

diginagain
3rd Sep 2005, 23:15
As bellowed at me more than once, running on at the end of autos;
"KEEP IT STRAIGHT WITH F***ING PEDALS"!

TheFlyingSquirrel
4th Sep 2005, 00:09
If you worried for more than 30 seconds, you've got a problem !

TFS


The Flying Solution

Ultralights
4th Sep 2005, 01:10
Make love to the sky, dont shag it!


spitfire pilot.....

swh
4th Sep 2005, 03:33
"Whenever we talk about a pilot who has been killed in a flying accident, we should all keep one thing in mind. He called upon the sum total of all his knowledge and made a judgement. He believed so strongly that he knowingly bet his life on it. That his judgement was faulty was a tragedy, not stupidity. Every instructor, supervisor, and contemporary who ever spoke to him had an opportunity to influence his judgement, so a little bit of us goes with every pilot we lose."

Farmer 1
4th Sep 2005, 08:20
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y277/Robert47/Planahead.jpg

nosefirsteverytime
4th Sep 2005, 14:04
Farmer 1:

That's definitely going as my wallpaper!