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Kaptin M
24th Aug 2005, 15:48
Once I passed 25, I started to notice that I was growing HAIR on my back.
The only other time I'd seen reference to this, was Jane Goodall's "Geurillas in the Mist" - or was that George Bush's "Gorillas and I missed".

Anyway, if you're not involved "up close 'n personal" who gives a rats'!!

So who waxes - who shaves - and who does what, to get this monkey business off your back??

tall and tasty
24th Aug 2005, 16:18
Kaptin M

So who waxes - who shaves - and who does what, to get this monkey business off your back??

( Not a man so can't do my back as I have no hair there) but I do wax the bits that hair should not be on ie on legs etc. Hurts so much and anyone who says it does not the first time is a........... well not telling the truth. But it does get easier. I do know a few gents who do wax their legs, back, and other areas, but I won't give their details out on here

TnT :p :ok:

A_Pommie
24th Aug 2005, 16:29
Live with the back hair. I am an exeptionally hairy fellow and a couple of years ago I got a plenoidal sinus (sp?). Basically I got ingrowing hairs in my bum crack. They got infected and I ended up with a squash ball sized puss ball to sit on. After having it sliced open and cleaned out I spent 3 weeks having the wound packed with some dressing stuff every day to make sure the wound healed up cleanly. This stuff was pushed in with a stainless steel probe and they know when the wound is full by the screaming. Any way I asked about shaving or waxing to remove the offending hairs. I was told in no uncertain terms that was the worst thing you could do as it encouraged the hairs to ingrow. Result would be more of the same. I exfoliate regularly and touch wood no more problems.

aidanf
24th Aug 2005, 16:30
waxing - as few times a year as I can get away with coz it hurts like hell.

Have tried using mrs' Venus in the shower but, alas, the arms just don't go around to all those places

frostbite
24th Aug 2005, 18:39
Thanks, Pommie - must remember not to Proon while I'm eating, in future.

Conan the Librarian
24th Aug 2005, 19:02
I nearly spat my beer over the floor when I first heard this one...

I am told that certain members of the male gender do the equivalent of the "Brazilian" - The "BSC" or Back, Sack and Crack.

Mind boggles, dunnit?


Conan the Hirsute (other than head...)

stillin1
24th Aug 2005, 19:31
frostbite, I'm with you!
Thanks, Pommie - Nearly yaked my creme brule all over the keyboard.:yuk:

VFE
24th Aug 2005, 19:40
Never met a burd who liked hairy backs.

VFE.

Solid Rust Twotter
24th Aug 2005, 19:46
Unless you're a horse....

PilotsPal
24th Aug 2005, 20:07
Nadia who does my waxing tells me she has lots of gentlemen clients - back, shoulders, chest, she's quite happy to remove whatever they want.

And as for pain - try having a Hollywood when your therapist has a bad case of PMT.....

Taildragger55
24th Aug 2005, 22:07
Defoliate/ Me? I cut the straps off me backpack and sewed some velcro on.

A woman who wants to have sex with someone hairless should find another woman,( and let me watch). All men are hairy.

The Voice
24th Aug 2005, 22:55
:D there is a certain something about a man's man. Personally I don't have a problem with a hairy back .. as long is there isn't that much and it doesn't require plaiting!

Pommie have you considered becoming a professional writer? A rather descriptive note of yours :uhoh:

reynoldsno1
25th Aug 2005, 02:36
A_Pommie

Waaaayyyyyy too much information there - not just the back though, I'm convinced men's scalps actually suck their hair in and push it back out their nostrils and ears ..... and other places as well it seems.....

Blacksheep
25th Aug 2005, 02:50
My barber tells me that ear hair is a symptom of being over 40.

I once read that the human body was designed to only last forty years. Then its hair in inappropriate places, lack of hair in appropriate places, and general degeneration everywhere else.

Now, I don't believe in suicide but if ever the Morning Glory starts to disappear, one shall take up extreme sports and hope for an accident...

Buster Hyman
25th Aug 2005, 03:49
I think we can all agree that A_Pommie's crack full of puss has taken the inaugural "Beyond the realms of Taste!" award for this thread! Strewth! Wessex is off my list now.

And that's about all I can contribute. My comb stops at the top of my spine & I reckon I get less uses out of a razor than Nana Mouskouri!

SmilingKnifed
25th Aug 2005, 06:23
Nowt wrong with a bit of 'manscaping.':ok:

sprocket
25th Aug 2005, 09:18
I usually sit on the verandah steps and let the chooks pluck my back (and only my back). Nearly kacked meself the first time one snuck up did it, the cheeky clucking plucker.

Taildragger55
25th Aug 2005, 10:56
Grey body hair-been there. Still there in fact. ("Jeeves, put another vat of wax on the cooker")

Was it the great Billy Connollly who said;
"You know you are middle aged when your private parts begin to look like Stewart Grainger?"

Standard Noise
25th Aug 2005, 11:12
I've been thinking of having the back waxed for a while now, but it's not that hairy, and Mrs Noise reckons it would be a waste of time as she doesn't mind it how it is.
She did give me the price list for the salon she goes to and back waxing is 22 sovs a go. Bit bloody steep isn't it!? Mrs Noise and one of her friends, have offered to do it for free. So now I have a dilemma, either pay someone I've never met 22 quid to hurt me, or let the wife and her mate do it for free, but suffer the humiliation of them laughing as they do it. I mean, 22 sovs is an awful lot of beer vouchers. :confused:

TheStormyPetrel
25th Aug 2005, 13:21
You haven't mentioned one joy of waxing, Std Noise. You get the joy of doing it again and again, until you get used to it or give it up. The need for repeat sessions will happen whoever does the job!

Standard Noise
25th Aug 2005, 17:07
I think one session will cure me, it'll be either -
"Yeah, s'not too bad, I'll do that again."
or
"F**k that, hairy it is!"

Conan the Librarian
28th Aug 2005, 13:10
Although slightly off topic, but inspired by A Pommie and his tame Plenoidal Sinus, (which is still making me wince) I offer the following. It was sent to me yesterday.

-----------------------------------------------------

Next time you have a bad day at work... think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail he sent to his sister. She
then sent it to radio station
103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst
job experience contest. Needless to say, he won.


Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite
cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my
job".



Conan

Flip Flop Flyer
28th Aug 2005, 15:21
No hair on the back, thank you very much, and not too much cheast hair either. Will shave armpits, bolloqx and appendix as required - usually a couple of times every week. More or less a requirement from the ladies these days, suppose it's revenge. I mean, who likes a sheila with hairy arm pits, ditto legs and a carpet between her walking apparatus? Sincy bodily hair is just as natural for females as for males, I sort of agree with the quid pro quo. Besides, hair in "all the wrong places" feels very strange these days!

Blacksheep
29th Aug 2005, 06:02
"You know you are middle aged when your private parts begin to look like Stewart Grainger?" Now, I understand and sympathise with all the Brazilian ladies out there about the agony of waxing the bikini area. But nothing on earth will ever persuade me to wax my scrotum. Nothing! Do you hear?:uhoh:

BOFH
29th Aug 2005, 06:35
But nothing on earth will ever persuade me to wax my scrotum. Nothing! Do you hear?
No plans for a vasectomy, then?

BOFH

chuks
29th Aug 2005, 08:23
I used to go for a haircut once a month, whether I needed it or not, in a rather crummy part of Bethesda, Maryland. The dreary storefront barbershop met my exacting standards of the time, in that it was cheap, cheap and cheap. (I was working on my FAA Commercial license at the time, when 'spondulicks, lack of', was a persistent theme in my lifestyle.)

The barber was this rather skinny and pale geek with chilly hands and what seemed to be 'tendencies'. After the usual number with the haircut per se he got to grips with the trimming around the edges with a dry cut-throat razor and then the unwrapping of the neck and the trimming of the hair on the back of the neck and on downwards in the direction of the shoulderblades and beyond.

I have been blessed with a flourishing crop of back hair and this fellow must have got carried away, so that he was going lower and lower with those chilly hands. As he passed vertrebra C5 or so I finally indicated that I felt myself sufficiently groomed for that afternoon. God only knows how far this haircut would have proceeded had I not said something.

Blacksheep
30th Aug 2005, 06:31
No plans for a vasectomy, then?Been there, done that. Found it quite an amusing experience actually. The group of nervous men in the waiting area trying to look nonchalent while dressed in shorty shifts, the charming Singaporean nurse doing her very best to cause an embarrassing situation, the surgeon talking to his wife on the car phone in between testicles...

...and it didn't hurt a bit.

No, not a bit - it hurt a lot, when the anaesthetic wore off.
Half way up a crowded Tottenham Court Road. :uhoh: