When we was ..........

[The Invisible Man]

I guess we all hear that saying at least once a day, usually from someone who has been around a bit and usually a funny story. Who has the funniest
"When we was" in the Air Force, a popular thing we used to do to wind other squadrons up would be to phone up and pretend to be Flt.Lt Farquason, inform them of a squadron inspection and watch the ensuing bulls..t take place. Funny at the time!!
Any others????

[Jango]

Had a Yarpie** engineer whose nick name became "Whenwee" coz every tale he told began with "When we were in Iran..." "When we were in Rhodesia.."

There must be a zillion tales, we should compile them into a book?

** yarpie = South African for un-initiated
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Old age and treachery will always triumph over youth and enthusiasm.

[This message has been edited by Jango (edited 14 February 2001).]

[jetfueldrinker]

Yarpie? Could someone enlighten me please as that is a (no doubt racist) nickname that I have not seen before.

Back to the main subject. 'When I was on 4 Squadron, Harriers in the mid-1970,s' (I could bore for England!) we went from Wildenrath to Gutersloh for a couple of weeks detatchment. Being roughy toughy types we were camping instead of experiencing the delights of transit accomodation (I think the transit block got burned down some months previous). As we were camping, we were also wearing camo gear too. Just after work one day, we went to the NAAFI to replenish some essential stocks (beer) and were sauntering back to camp. We got collered by the SWO. For those not famiear, the SWO gives policy to the Almighty One. You don't mess with him. After he saw us wandering back to camp, remember we just finished work and were in need of a shower and change of clothing, he called us to attention (ever tried to stand to attention with a flatty slung on your shoulder?) and demanded to know who the the name of an indivitual. 'Thomson Sir', came the reply. So he was ordered to the Guard Room as the rest of us were dealt a bollocking. Thomson didn't go to the guard room, but hid in the woods (remember we were in camo gear) until he saw us marching (ever tried marching with a flatty stuck to your shoulder?) back to camp.

Some time later an insenced SWO came storming into our camp demanding to know where SAC Watson was. On being told there was no SAC Watson he wanted to have in ID parade. But the funny thing was, JT Thomson, the guy who had been sent to the guard room but never went, was right in front of him.

On learning that the Harrier fleet were being transfered from Wildenrath to Gutersloh, The SWO bought himself out and we got Paddy The Blanket, but more of him another time

Hope you enjoyed this

JFD

[The Invisible Man]

JFD,
Small world eh?? 4 Squadron Harriers 1972/ 1975 Wildenwrath. "When we" went back there last year for a trip down memory lane....it had all gone except the long drag from the guardroom down to the exit at the other end.
Sad really.
T.I.Man

[Ali Crom]

Not so many years ago at a certain large airline there was a manager called Norton who thought he could run the hangar like a Stalag Luft by fear & intimidation to the extent that the guys in the hangar had even set up an escape committee.
He was known to frequently watch the engineers at work down below from his office & would often pounce on an individual going about his day to day business and acuse him of 'walking without purpose '.
But one day after a busy day secretly photographing individuals who had successfully escaped ( trapped off ) he thought at last he'd caught the Head of the escape committee.
So next day he summoned the red faced individual to his office & gave him a severe bollocking hoping to set an example of him to the other would be escapees.Unfortunately for Norton this chap just happened to be one of biggest practical jokers around & of course eventually it was the inmates , err Engineers who eventually had the last laugh .I can just picture the full size dummy of Herr Norton complete with suit , tie & binoculas tied with a noose round its neck from the hangar ceiling slowly rotating in the gentle breeze as if scanning for unsuspecting prey.
But if this wasn't upsetting enough for poor old Norton then maybe it was the numerous fake cameras that some individual had erected ( one outside his office window ) painstakingly fashioned from small cardboard boxes , coffee cups & a lick of black paint with the sign 'BEWARE NORTO VISION IN OPERATION'.
:)

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AC.

[NFF_PRF]

That's not "Throttles Norton" is it?

[Ali Crom]

I think 'throttles' was one of the kinder of the many names he was given .

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AC.

[jetfueldrinker]

TI man

Could you drop me an e-mail with your details as I too was on 4 Squadron from 1975 to 1978. It would be interesting to see if our paths ever crossed, and maybe catch up with a few old names and faces from the deep and distant past. You never know, if I have to go to an AOG at your place, I might even buy you a beer.

Cheers then

JFD

[This message has been edited by jetfueldrinker (edited 08 February 2001).]

[The Invisible Man]

JFD,

I am in somewhat of a dilema, do I reveal my identity to you and then give up the chance of secretively making comment for or against the company we both work for or do I go down memory lane with you and drink your beer...Mmmmmm..... what do I do????? I left Wildenwrath May 1975.

[jetfueldrinker]

Hi T I Man

I arrived at Wildenrath on April 25th 1975. I was one of the first bunch of FLM's to grace 4 Squadron. I arrived a few weeks before XV800 made a hole in the runway, and Moss Bross was the JENGO. Go down memory lane and drink a few Hinies on me.

[Diablo]

Squadron exchange in Germany, last night all ranks piss up. All the local brass sat at the top table, too many wobblies. One of the rigger corprals wanders up to our flight sergent (the munchkin) grabs his head in both hands and proceeds to stick his tongue down his throat. The G and T's were hitting the floor all over the place. The munch was speachless and Colin had just put his name forward for orderley dog for the next 12 Christmases.

[The Invisible Man]

JFD,
Remember you guys arriving and the comments I made out having, I think it was 3 FLM's to replace me at my leaving do. Was presented with a Tankard and I'm sure you were there.

"When we " were recruiting at a certain Line Station a few years ago ( we had a small Liverpudlian Station Engineer... there's a clue JFD), one of the questions asked was.... "Do you have a Police record?" "Yes " came the reply, "Walking on the Moon" He didn't get the job!!!

[jetfueldrinker]

Hi TI Man

There were 9 FLM's originally on 4 Squadron. Hoppy, Andy K, Andy S, Abby the Asian, DF, Gums King, John F (last heard of living in Amsterdam with his boyfriend), Deacon the Beacon and Cowboy Edwards. Now which one am I? Answers on the back of a £10 note addressed to me@LTN!

5 of us went on to greater things in the RAF, one is still in until June or July, one went on a fitters course, but got kicked off the day before his final exam, and the rest, they disappeared into the dim and distant past.

As for me, eventually I got a propper job and now am a CT at Base. Not bad from such humble beginings.

[This message has been edited by jetfueldrinker (edited 10 February 2001).]

[spanners]

Hi Ali Crom,
I remember seeing lots of '0=Nort' (or something to that effect ), scrawled everywhere in a certain hangar that is no more.

[aeroguru]

Too much crabfat jargon!Harriers urrgh!
Let's have some proper flat top navy spoke!

[The Invisible Man]

Aeroguro,

Looks like your plea for "Flat Top" input sank without trace so to speak. There must be some good Navy stories out there. Heard a good one from my American relatives. Happened a couple of years ago at an Open Day for a particular Nuclear sub. Certain number of friends and relatives were invited for a dive. 10 mins into the dive things started to go wrong. Somehow they got themselves lost in a busy shipping lane. They were under for almost 2 hrs until whatever problem they had was sorted out. My relatives thought it was part of the show until they were informed by their son that things had got a bit hairy. I wouldn't have thought it were possible with all the sofisticated equipment on board, but I was assured it did happen.

[timothy taylor]

JFD

You mention a FLM called Hoppy on 4 sqn.Was he a short scruffy goerdie?

[jetfueldrinker]

Hi Tim,

The Hoppy that I refer to was from London, not scruffy and just short of 6'! So I guess that the Hoppy that you refer to is a different bloke than the one I knew. I believe that Hoppy Mk1 left the RAF and went into his Dad's business. Last heard of doing quite nicely thank you.

[The Invisible Man]

JFD,
Thought we were going to start a 4 Sqd members only thread. I have some pics that I could send to you. You will probably know a few people. I'll stick my email address on my contact page.
T.I.Man

[jetfueldrinker]

TI Man

I would love to see those pics, but I don't know how to navigate to the 'Contacts' page. any help would be appreciated. If I dig hard enough, I think that I have some pics of 4 Sqdn sitll lurking in my loft. I'll route them out soon. Cheers then.

JFD