330 Man
13th Aug 2005, 10:43
You all are far too serious today, so here is a little humor.
1] The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm,
and good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few
opportunities to experience all three at the same time.
2] A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out on the 'glass
cockpit' of an A-320: "Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV."
3] It only takes two things to fly: airspeed and money.
4] The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
5] It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to break
wind and head into the ground.
6] The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engine usually quits whining when it gets to the gate.
7] A co-pilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic
at 12 o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.
8] Without ammunition the Air Force would be just another expensive flying
club.
9] If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
10] I give that landing a 9... on the Richter scale.
11] Basic Flying Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of
ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more
difficult to fly there.
12] Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th
unsuccessful landing attempt: "You've got to land here, son, this is
where the food is."
Enjoy,
330 Man
1] The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm,
and good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few
opportunities to experience all three at the same time.
2] A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out on the 'glass
cockpit' of an A-320: "Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV."
3] It only takes two things to fly: airspeed and money.
4] The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
5] It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to break
wind and head into the ground.
6] The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engine usually quits whining when it gets to the gate.
7] A co-pilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic
at 12 o'clock, after which he's a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.
8] Without ammunition the Air Force would be just another expensive flying
club.
9] If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
10] I give that landing a 9... on the Richter scale.
11] Basic Flying Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of
ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more
difficult to fly there.
12] Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th
unsuccessful landing attempt: "You've got to land here, son, this is
where the food is."
Enjoy,
330 Man