View Full Version : Official Virgin Blue Joke book

7th Jul 2005, 12:59
Seems that Virgin Blue have supplied their cabin crew with a joke book with which to "entertain" passengers. Recently passengers on Virgin 737 approaching the terminal were startled to hear "WHOA BOY" over the aircraft PA from a flight attendant Seems the joke book suggests to gee-up the poor pax by pretending the aircraft is a horse as it comes to a halt at the gate. While there is little doubt about the technical skills and abilities of the Virgin Blue flying staff, they are certainly saddled with fools who write the joke book.

To top it all off, how about another flight where there were only two passengers - both businessmen. The bright young thing manning(?) the PA starts with "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls" Go figure....

7th Jul 2005, 15:16
While there is little doubt about the technical skills and abilities of the Virgin Blue flying staffAccording to whom.....???

Yelling out "Whoa...." as the aircraft comes to a stop is about the dumbest thing I've ever heard of a hostie doing.

I know it's sexist but I just can't help but come to the conclusion that some flouncing poofter airline desk-jockey twit would've come up with something as ridiculous as that.

7th Jul 2005, 18:09
Yes, we cant have a sense of humour in aviation now can we children. Maybe, you all suggest VB operate as per the pathetic QF way. VB with only "two" pax on board. Yeah right. !!

Beer Can Dreaming
7th Jul 2005, 22:06
Flew home from BNE-MEL on Wednesday night (State of Origin evening) with some 12 pax on board.
Was that a better loading?

No stupid cracks over the PA but I would have thought the service would have been a bit better......the lovely young things were more interested about enquiring into Queensland getting their collective arses kicked and hoping for a comeback.

Like that was going to happen !!!!

7th Jul 2005, 22:25
Beer Can Bozo,
Terribly sorry to publicly insult you again but no flights on Wendesday afternoon/ evening on the BNE/MEL had under 92 travellers!
Finished reading those mauals with your mate yet?


Buster Hyman
7th Jul 2005, 22:50
Why would they need a book? I take one look at their aircraft & laugh!:}

7th Jul 2005, 22:50
Frankly I applaude VB's attempts, however amateur, to inject a little fun and enjoyment into air travel these days. The "ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls" doesn't rankle in the slightest.

The blue room is better value and more relaxing than the QF lounge - and I don't have to worry about the problem of meeting people I'd rather not speak to. The QF lounge is way too "businessy" for me, even when I am on business!

Keep it up VB! I prefer your honest attempts to do something new rather than being served by bored QF boilers who spend their spare time in the back of the plane gossiping with stewards with more jewellry and hair than Anna Nicole Smith about their rosters, pay and conditions!

Capt Claret
7th Jul 2005, 23:18

I've got to take the opposite tack with you on the "Ladies & Gentlemen, boys & girls".

I've not flown Virgin but when meeting & greeting get to hear it at the airport. It's so over done that becomes down right annoying. :yuk:

Enema Bandit's Dad
8th Jul 2005, 04:23
What annoys me is how they call their customers guests. I thought that a guest was someone that you invited. But have to agree with scumfish about the banter from the Qantas crews. Overheard them bitching about their rosters once. They were in the galley and I was in my seat. Didn't sound very professional.

8th Jul 2005, 06:36
The Maquarie Dictionary-
Customer. 1. one who puchases goods from another; a patron.
2. a person one has to deal with; a fellow: a queer customer !!

Spot on Maquarie.

Duff Man
8th Jul 2005, 08:21
i had the pleasant joy of sitting next to a galley on a redeye flight with virgin, listening to 2 leggy blonde large breasted babes talk about their boyfriends, laughing, carrying on (they sounded pissed), in between the slamming of food trays into their thighs. between 2-5am in the morning it wouldve been. great flight that one

8th Jul 2005, 09:42
Isn't that called an ops manual??? - The joke book I mean.........

Beer Can Dreaming
8th Jul 2005, 21:55
Mr Buzzy.

Perhaps you'd like to check the computer system again for a completed flight and make sure of your numbers.

The Captain even made a comment about everyone getting very "personalised" service due to the number of pax aboard.
Take it up with your Captain - he gave us a good flight.

So you've exposed yourself as a VB employee Mr Buzzy, thats fine kid.
Just sorry that your beloved Queensland NRL idols got their collective arses trounced by the Blues and humiliated in front of their home crowd for another 12 months.
Jeezus Mr Buzzy, when I heard the half time score I thought that the Qld team was going to have to run around with their pants down if they lost with a nil score.

Perhaps that's the Qld way Mr Buzzy??????
Hate to disappoint you again.

Keep reading those books son.......you need to !!

8th Jul 2005, 22:04
Beer Can Bozo,
No not a VB employee, would like to be though.
Perhaps you can teach me a few things about ammending my manuals and getting all huffy over a stupid leather ball?

Too much beer can dreaming and not enough reading and ammending for you!


8th Jul 2005, 22:16
Mr Buzzy sounds like he harps on and on whenever challenged.
He must be a joy to operate an aircraft with judging by the way he gets his knickers in a knot whenever himself or VB gets criticised.
Only then does his true level of maturity surface.
Mr Buzzy, stop taking yourself so seriously.
You really do need a thicker skin to survive in this industry without pratting on like a spoilt child thats told he cant have a feed at McDonalds or that he may be wrong.
Your manner reminds me of my sister-in-law that constantly reminds me of my misgivings and mistakes over the years as opposed to my dear wife that just has a laugh at my foibles and leaves it at that.

Back to the topic at hand and really though, VB is no different from a number of other lower cost carriers in Europe which do things similar with respect to jocularity.

It can be timely and amusing, but as the man once said "humour is a gift few possess".
After all, as any comedian will tell you its all about the timing really.

Cant imagine the Cathay staff I used to fly with doing stand up comedy somehow, although on a personal level they used to crack us up regularly by what they said and did.
Great crews.

9th Jul 2005, 02:37
1013 = standard = boring


9th Jul 2005, 17:29

That bbbbbbbbzzzzzzyyyyyyy character is just a pratt, you were kind.

The same things still make us laugh up here, hope you are enjoying Melb. If VB such a fun place to work, why do we have so many "funsters" applying up here for jobs ?

It's got me beat.

Cheers Oz2

9th Jul 2005, 22:24
I rike to PRATT my woman hair and eaty very speciaaal dimsim from hongkong! Timey to change your name sirry man to Honkong2!


Metro Boy
9th Jul 2005, 23:19
Mr. Buzzy has yet to reach puberty. He is becoming an embarrasment to the rest of us.

10th Jul 2005, 02:26
MetroBOY ----- just dat..... BOY... keepy squeeezy pimple... BOY.


Metro Boy
10th Jul 2005, 05:37
See what I mean.

10th Jul 2005, 10:38
I had a girlfriend once who had a Mr Buzzy. It was a stuck up **** as well.

10th Jul 2005, 21:23
Oh Bundy Bear, please do stop!
Your post makes no sense at all.
Do you mean her Mr.Buzzy was stuck up her ( insert redneck bundy swillers word here ) ?
Or do you mean that her Mr.Buzzy was itself a stuckup ( insert redneck bundy swillers word here )
Perhaps you and Beer Can Bozo spend way too much time on the happy sauce.
Oh there is usually a very good reason for a girlfriend to need someone like Mr.Buzzy! Fosters flop maybe?


10th Jul 2005, 23:44
It's good to see Dunnunda threads maintaining their usual high :yuk: standard. :{