FAA Ramp Check

[Just Boxes]

How long did your last Ramp Check take and did you have any problems?

I'm asking this because I've been ramped twice in the last 3 weeks, and both were straight-forward, quick and reasonably pleasant experiences (after I initially **apped myself), which dispells the myth that the FAA are out to get us...

[typhoonpilot]

Not to burst your bubble, but the FAA can and will be out to get you or your company if they so desire. In the mid-90s I flew DC-9s and MD-87s for a charter airline in Nevada. In the last year that I was there I averaged an inspection once per week by some flavor of Fed. We had Operations inspectors, maintenance inspectors, and security inspectors looking at us through a magnifying glass. Here are some of the fun things they do:

Portland, Oregon. Fully booked flight. FAA operations inspector comes on the airplane 30 minutes before boarding and does a " set back break away check ". Ever heard of that ? He started at the rear of the aircraft and worked his way forward pushing the back of every seat to see if there was resistance to it's moving forward. Being a 30 year old DC-9 there were a few seats that failed his inspection. Result, we had to MEL the seats and bump the pax.

Bismarck, North Dakota. Winter time flight over from Fargo with a landing in light freezing fog. No sooner does the door of the airplane open than Dick the Fed barges onto the airplane and asks if I'm going to de-ice. " Well ", I say, " I don't know, I haven't done a walk around inspection yet". Dick the Fed says, " well, I'll go with you then". So we go arm in arm to walk around the airplane and I notice that there is some ice build-up on the radome, but don't say anything. Then at the wing-tip I notice there is still some Type IV fluid leftover from our de-ice in Fargo. I mention in passing to Dick the Fed that we had de-iced in Fargo and this was leftover. The field conditions are still showing some frozen precip so as we finish the walk-around I turn to Dick and say, " yea, I think we'll de-ice " Not that I had to say anything to him and not that I wasn't going to if he wasn't there, but he was following me like a love sick puppy about to hump my leg so I just had to say something to him. Long story short, we deice and fly back to Nevada. Next day my D.O. and our POI call me on a conference line and ask, " what's this you weren't going to de-ice in Bismarck ? ". I'm like, " huh ? " :confused: " what are you talking about , I de-iced in Bismarck ". " No ", they say, " you wouldn't have if the Fed wasn't there ". Again, I'm like, " huh ? " :confused: :ugh: " what are you guys talking about? ". They then say the Fed thought my comment about the de-ice fluid still on the airplane from Fargo meant that I wasn't going to de-ice. " Oh, for crying out loud, I say. It was a comment in passing. " " Just be more careful next time " they say. :yuk:

Des Moine, Iowa ( or one of those cities ): Land on a short stop to pick up some pax and go back to Nevada. I'd fueled through out of Moline or Rockford. No sooner than we shutdown the Fed twins show up and ask to see our fueling manual. Seems they'd flown in special just to ask this question of us on a tip from Signature that our fueler didn't have a current/approved manual or wasn't otherwise qualified to fuel us. My retort ( knowing we didn't have one with us ) is, why do you want to see that, we're not getting any fuel here ? With the wind visibly let out of their sails, they reply, " oh, we thought you were " then go on to do a thorough inspection of the cabin and exterior of the aircraft.

So Feds can be an annoyance and they can be out to get you or your company.


TP

[zerozero]

Hi Ty!

It's 'mar' from the other board (slight identity crisis a few years ago).

My favorite Fed story:

A few years ago I was a Metroliner PIC in a 121 passenger operation. When I was inside going over the paperwork I get approached by a Fed with an officious flip of her ID and a firm handshake.

She'd like to have a walk around the airplane prior to departure and I've got nothing to hide so I say, "Sure, help yourself."

So I finish up and it's time to load up the pax and I head on out to the plane. I meet my Fed at the base of the stairs and I tell her she's welcome to seat 1B (with a jack) and does she need headsets or did she bring her own?

She takes her seat. I take mine. And the FO is outside intercepting oversized carry on bags. It was at this point in time that she tap, tap, taps me on my shoulder and I turn around to see what she wants.

"There's an oil leak on the right engine."

"Huh? What?"

"I noticed an oil leak on the right engine when I inspected the airplane."

"We're boarding. Right now. The airplane has been preflighted. I'll talk to you about it when we get to the destination."

So off we go, land, off load the pax and naturally I'm hoping she just forgets her little oil leak thing. No such luck. She waits until everyone is off the plane and then says, "So...about the oil leak..."

"Alright. Let's go have a look."

I get to the engine. There is a sheen of oil on the cowling but give me a break. That's not a leak (drip, drip, drip) it's just an oily cowling. So then I open the inspection door and check the level. It's perfectly acceptable.

"Sorry ma'am, I don't see a leak."

"Ok, thanks for the flight."

:rolleyes: :mad: :* :hmm: :suspect:

What I learned from that experience (and naturally every situation is different) is that as the PIC you need to stay in control and don't let them push you around.

But not every Fed is a thug. Some are genuinely nice guys but in general my usual stategy is to approach them before they approach me. They are so accustomed to pilots avoiding eye contact and turning the other direction that I sort of get a weird thrill out of meeting their eyes, walking up to them with an extended hand, introducing myself and asking them, "What can I do for you?"

It totally disarms them.

Of course it helps if you're working for a good operation and you really don't have anything to hide.

Good luck!

[Check 6]

Ciao zero zero, come stai? Tutto bene?

Not too many years ago, the Feds used to show up on the ramp at OAK at zero dark hundred on Fridays to ramp the freight dogs.

Zero dark hundred you ask? A fed up that early?

Yep, they would come to work early on Fridays, show some activity on their little activity logs, and then take a long weekend.

Check 6

:rolleyes:

[zerozero]

Sto bene, grazie. E' buon di "verderti". Spero che ti piace l'estate italiano.

When I flew in the Alaskan bush one of the *good* things about the wind chill dropping below -50 meant that your chances of being ramped also dropped significantly....

...and at the risk of cold-soaking your engine you just couldn't mess around looking at radio station permits and the such.

Saluti!

[Check 6]

Zero zero, L'estate a Napoli è molto mite questo anno.

Buono volo,

Check 6

:ok: