Antonov antics - title required

[4HolerPoler]

What with all the Antonov's carving holes in the earth, here's a light-hearted pic of one of these trusty workhorses going about it's business - captions on a post-card please - we're looking for the best line. Prize is a year's free subscription to this forum.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v667/4HolerPoler/AN-12Accident.jpg

4HP

[126,7]

Run Themba, RUN !!!

[Engineer]

Boss I told you to buy a full fare ticket with Ethiopian. These charter companies are all ways a bit dodgy :(

[B Sousa]

Comrad Captain, Are you sure this is the correct road??

[Boss Raptor]

I told u di bwanna get angry we steal di food parcels...

Was betta when they drop di sacks on di heads :)

[Solid Rust Twotter]

Ignore them. These stupid Mzungus always stop in time....

[126,7]

Eishh, those hard hats we got at the mine would've come in handy now!!

or


What should I do Igor? Slow down?

[Gunship]

Nastarovia Comrade ... Prost first officer .. :E

[Gauteng Pilot]

African Cannibals try new methods to get their chopped liver

[B Sousa]

After looking at the picture a bit, how about...............

OK A55hole5 , So you want to Carjack this??

[SASless]

It pays to be fleet of foot if you are slow of mind!

[JaWellNoFine]

Eishh, So this is what the new taxy's look like.

[Teignmouth]

"...Bongani Airlines is pleased to announce the arrival of Flight 24 from...."

[Sandiron]

"Hey, Vladimir, I hope you knew what you were doing when you decided to switch the insurance across to Shag Reinsurance Corporation.....!'

[sky waiter]

Captain this reminds me of Uitenhage airfield, except they are running this time!:}

[Recuperator]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Africa, your gateway to adventure, where anything is possible....

[prospector]

Comrade Captain,

We should get no complaints from previously disadvantaged persons about lack of Affirmative Action at this bus stop.

Prospector

[Sandiron]

(TV News Reporter) "The aircraft selected by Dennis Jankelow & Associates for the 2006 Reach for a Dream Aircraft Raffle arrived in the country last weekend amid much excitement....."

[fireitup]

" the mob decided that food distribution was going to be a little tricky this year "

[Kopeloi]

BUSINESS AS USUAL

[Deanw]

"They said turn left onto taxiway Alpha and proceed to the terminal. Do you see the terminal Captain?"

[steamchicken]

Which airline are we today?

Or: Run, the "mining machinery", "fish" and "flowers" are going to go off!

[Spetsnaz]

"First one to the hangar gets a free bag of rice!"

[SASless]

....Flaps up....Props to Mince!

[Banzai-blades]

Comrade Captain, are you sure the Rasta needs a haircut now!?

[AfricanSkies]

GIVE IT BACK IT'S F***ING BRIEFCASE!!!

[oneeyed]

Where the f**k is the cargo hatch - before or behind the props?

[whouzet]

African Air; we'll get you off to a running start!

[Rhodie]

A little bit more to the left, Igor - a little bit more...

Ah, we get maximum points now...!!! :E :E

[I.R.PIRATE]

RUSHIN' IN AFRICA

OR MAYBE....... HAU PHILEMON , THAT EROPLEN ...IT EES GOING TO HEET US, ITS NOT AN ILLUSYIN.....SE..RI..ASSS

[skyvan]

Eish, I did not think that the Long-Distance-Taxi Association was planning on using the same drivers as the Hi-ace!!

[I.R.PIRATE]

Congolease Airlines are now so very heppy to inform you all that its not only on Dubai where you can shop at the Airport. We are going that one step further, with direct flights from Kinshasa, to its marketplace in less than two minutes.

[inlet corrosion]

"The Fly past didn't get them off , but this I am sure will do the trick !!"

[Balloothebear]

Imaginative and exellent responses so far guys and gals,keep it up.


"And at lunchbreak the scoreboard read as follows:-"

ANTONOV ....1
PEDESTRIANS....0

:E :E :E :E :E :E :E :E

[boyracer]

watch the f****rs run

and


How many points will we get this time Vladimere.:E :ooh:

[gofor]

"Hey Igor, Steady while I pour my Vodka. And.... a little more left......I told you ve take no prisoners!"

[gen3]

Sh*t!! we're dead !!

nice pic, 4HP....who took this? :D ]

[SASless]

Is this what they mean by "Run Way"?

[Seaman Staines]

Afra Airlines at Ghana, piloted by Luke Flukey Butler.....:}

[raytheon_aircraft]

eeish, amybe it will stop !!

[Deanw]

"Eish ... did tha piloot say push or pull?"

Or

"No wonder the ticket was so cheap, they only slow down, not stop to board!"

[Engineer]

One for Seaman Staines

"Captain get the guy with the briefcase cause Luke Butler's deportation papers are in it" :ok:

[Mav64]

Looks more like a pair of legs in the briefcase - previous passenger that wasn't fast enough maybe?

Anyway

"Prospective African 2008 Olympiads in elimination training trials for 1500M sprint event"

[keymtn]

To stay on schedule, the last thing we can avoid on this stop is "missing passengers"!

[contraxdog]

Full Power Boris, concentrate, they are getting away!

[roccafella51]

Told you it was an antonov and not an illusion...

[tyrant]

Eishh baas follow me, i got a schweet paking for you, shup shup.

Can i watch your plane???

[PAXboy]

As a late arrival to the viewing terrace, is the original image available anywhere?

[EDDNHopper]

With the last follow-me car having been scrapped two years ago, and unemployment on the rise, there was an increasingly fierce competition between the boys of who would be able to earn some cash by escorting the arriving aircraft to their parking positions.

[Gainesy]

"Green Leader" really enjoyed his ex-air force job as a freight dog.:E

[antiskid]

The "non -stop" service on Aeroflot although risky when boarding was non the less popular with the locals.

[Buitenzorg]

Vander Merwe Airlines taxies for take-off

or

You're right, this is much more fun than those K-Cars ever were!

[barryt]

"That one there Anotoly! He's the bastard who zapped my briefcase this morning!"

[VP8]

It's from the movie called Lord of War with Nicholas Cage which is being made. It is based on the life and tribulations of Victor Bout, who some say is the world's biggest guns runner.

Not one of ours by the way!! :E

VEEPS :ok:

[CAT1]

You sure we'll still make Happy Hour, Sergei?

[tyrant]

WE HAVE A WINNER, BEST ONE I'VE SEEN SO FAR JT8D-15 :ok: :ok: :E :E :

Sorry guys, -15's caption was out of line & was obviously culturally offensive and has been binned. It was bound to happen. Carry on please; in general your ideas are great. 4HP

[Zedd]

So easy to tell the people with a chip on their shoulder and a bad attitude to Africa... all the eesh comments and the like are in poor taste.

[JT8D-15]

Mr Z

I agree totally.

You can easily see the ones that don't like the Russian as well. All those anti russian comments just break my hart.............sniff!

[Panthera]

Hey Rasputin,get rid off these guerillas, chop-chop!!

[barryt]

Early morning flight from Johannesburg, flight SAA xxx arrives FACT, circa 2015.

[albatross]

FO "But Kiptiin clearance was depart runway 27 set course OVER the field!":confused:

Capt " Shutting up! We not having fuel for climb! Retact gear, retract flap, Vindshield wiper on!":E

" Any Road\'s a Runway. ":cool:

[Woof etc]

Bargain basement airticket to Central Africa: 200 $

Bottle of Vodka for crew: 20 $

Landing at destination: Priceless!

There are some things money can't buy

For everything else there's Mastercarve

[Mike Rouse]

I told you Philomon the pilot he used to work for Putco!

[PAXboy]

What did you say to him?
I only asked him for a Christmas Box ...

[praenoscere]

EEEISHH.....SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE CALL A NATIONAL TAXI STRIKE

HAMBA .... I AM WEKING FIRST IN THIS PARKING LOT-JU JUST WANTS TO STEEL MY TEEP.

[eggplantwalking]

After landing, you are cleared direct to the parking area.

[praenoscere]

Happy's chopshop this way!

The long awaited merger between SAA and Putco will now put SA in the forefront when it comes to public transport.

Is this perhaps a new version of "Carmageddon ?"

Igor , now I know why the salesman asked if we want bullbars as an optional extra!!

Vladimir , is this reportable as a "near miss"?

[c_kraig]

"Cleared to Pisser via Direct"

[SA Fred]

I always knew my wide range of contacts would win me something oneday. 4HP: Don't forget to send me my free subscription to PPrune AA... The following is an edited extract of some private correspondence conducted last year: The sequence required an Antonov to make an emergency landing on a Sierra Leone highway. (Shot at Robertson airstrip as the set). We had this Antonov piloted by Russians who between the four of them would polish off a bottle of [stuff] before breakfast. Not quite the required diet considering the complications of the shots for the day ahead, nevertheless, a stable and nourishing necessity for our aviators. The Art department coated the runway with dirt to look like a road and narrowed it too with grass on the sides. Then came the stunts - picture a typical road in Sierra Leone, scattered with "natives" (as the stupid Americans keep calling them), with their carts and animals etc. Next moment an Antonov swoops down and makes a landing, people flailing to get out of the way and scattering in all directions. Then came the problem - We had one shot where the plane has just touched down and charges down the road. We set up 5 cameras and the stunt department arranged their stunt guys to run and dive roll out the way. So I am walking around and checking out the placement of cameras etc. Just happen to notice that two of the cameras are placed opposite one another on the road (Already narrowed by grass don't forget) So I think to myself - "Why are we bottle necking the runway?" Anyway I am just a stupid GIRL in the armpit of testosterone that usually erupts along with these big stunt set-ups - so I shut my trap. My heart was in my throat and I knew something was gonna happen. The Antonov starts at the end of the runway and blasts forward at FULL throttle . Stunt men run and dive out the way, One guy runs across in front of the plane then changes his mind and runs back - The props just missing his head. I have a heart attack. Next the Antonov wipes out one of the cameras (One that was bottle necking the runway). Then the Antonov starts to slide sideways down the runway off into the grass, recovers then slides off again! I have my second heart attack. Then I close my eyes as I am swallowed up in a plume of dust. It's over! No one is hurt except for the camera - shredded into 500 little pieces. I go up to the black stunt guy a bit later and ask him if he knew how close he was to the props, he says "No I was running for my life" Then I ask him what his name is, He replies "Lucky" - No ****ting me!
The outcome from the Pilots - Having had their [stuff] intravenously to recover from the shock, was that when they turned the Antonov around at the end of the runway big clumps of the set dressing grass got caught up in the front wheel causing it to lock. Hello! What do you make of that?
The moral of this story is - Always go full throttle when on the bottle and name your "FAST BORN" Lucky!"

[Woof etc]

Looking at the mountains in the background guess it could be Robertson - anyone confirm?

Little strip for a big bird?

Nice story there SA Fred! You can have my free subscription.

[krobar]

Joburg Intl. during construction phase, which is permanently...

[kennyd]

Is this why it is called a RUN WAY?

[BAKELA]

SAA buys AN-12's (just joking). We'll pay for them; not SAA. They never have paid for their aircraft, even since "SAL".

Ain't it amazing what taxpayers money and government back-up can do to the opposition?:}

[Bartholomew]

Run! The Russians are coming!

[MartinBaker]

from good mornin' vietnam:

...uu're ass is grass and I'm a lawn mower, do I make myself clear!?

[Spodman]

"Request backtrack, I think we're gunna miss one..."

[chrisstiles]

The Newsweek article on "Lords of War" implies that the AN12 in the photo was bought from Bout