It's not all it's cracked up to be!

[miche2]

I flew with the "World's Favourite" for 6.5 years on longhaul (WBA as it was, Worldwide as it became) and would like to dispell a few misconceptions. The job of cabin crew is far from being all it's cracked up to be, even on the golden wings of a BA 747!

My first few years were enjoyable, I did some amazing trips and the people were great. But I soon realised that cabin crew really were treated as and seen as uneducated and "the lowest of the low..." and the job was ultimately not how I had initially seen it through my naive, rosy specs.
I have vivid memories of being in the smelly never-cleaned bunks forcing myself to get some rest before getting up at 3am to either stack endless juice trays in the galley, serve a hot breakfast while feeling like death or even sick or do the trolley change over and push trolleys from one end of the plane to another in the pitch dark!
I remember sitting at Door 4L, shivering, eating my meal next to the crapper with passenger's hanging over you with 9+hours to go and having the same shallow conversion as every trip-
1. How long have you been flying?
2. Are you 1st or 2nd break?
3. What's your next trip? (Even before that one had even started!!)..etc, etc..
4. Do you always do Bar 4? etc, etc...

I remember the main meal service on a 747-100/200/400 in E zone (for BA guys!) which would take an eternity. I still have visions of millions of scummy passenger trays with spilt, cold coffee or every other American screaming, "Is that decaf?". I used to wreak of tea and coffee when I got to my hotel room or would have some indescribable stain on my designer (!) shirt.

How about scoffing down a breakfast in 2 seconds before getting off the aircraft or the smell of puke as the jumbo rocks like a boat while trying to smile sitting at Door 5L or 5R with a shi**y toilet smell next to you!!
Best of all collecting scabby headsets covered in sweaty ear wax before trying to jam them into those red bags...mmm...

So, I decided I had a bit of self respect and said goodbye to flying. No more beck and call...ding...ding.. ding.. I miss going to JFK, I miss the luxury hotels in India and I miss fatties in Singapore after a night out at China jump and most of all I miss some of the characters. As for the job though, never again!! I actually feel for the crew every time I fly...

I can still smell that eau de 747 that any BA 747 crew knows and that lingers on your uniform...

[Flying_Sarah747]

Your post is cracking me up!!!!!! I love it! It's true...I totally don't do this job for the job itself. The only reason I'm here is for the fab times I have down route, which, because I'm relatively new make up for the crap on the aircraft.

I'll be going long haul quite soon now, but am very unsure about whether it's the right thing to do...You've just put me off even more now!!!! What do you suggest? Try long haul, or stick with short haul???

P.S. Your post reminds me of my flight back from Hong Kong last week...On landing into LHR the CSD did a PA and goes 'Just incase anybody was worried, the crew member supposed to be sitting at jump seat 5L is now sitting in a passenger seat due to a passenger vomiting on their crew seat throughout the night.' YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

[miche2]

Sarah dear, go for it, but as long as you know the flights are tough/vile sometimes. BUT being more positive you have to do longhaul to experience :-

1. Cheap shopping in the States, especially before Xmas.
2. A BOM, DEL, CCU or MAA flight with 200+ special meals in M class with even the captain handing trays out.
3. The CSD watching the latest blockbuster in their "office" while the rest of you have sweat pouring off your faces from working...
4. Serving a Japanese passenger on the LHR-NRT route with a never ending array of teas from Oolong, to Green to Roasted tea to regular BA nappy size tea bags.
5. Pursers who obviously have never made a pot of tea in their life and who believe the tea bag goes in after the hot water or better still leave the bag in for about a second before recycling the same bag. By the way pursers on longhaul put "T" and "C" on the pots....I think T is for Coffee and C for tea, in case you're stupid.
6. Senior pursers who panic when left with World Traveller because they've never made it past the First galley.
7. Arsey/demanding club passengers who fall down the upper deck stairs when disembarking
8. The Arabic international crews on the DXBs, MCTs, BAHs etc who sound like their hacking up when doing their PAs in Arabic.
9. The lovely girls from the Indian international crews who shout at little old Indian men or women to sit down and who call everyone on the crew "darling" in beautiful English.
10.Having a mere 24hrs in SYD/MEL and not sleeping a wink because you cannot be in Australia and just stay in your room.
11. Singing embarrassing karaoke in Bangkok or watching Thai "Elvis lookalikes" in Electric City (BKK).
12. The thrill of a 747 go around.
13. Motion sickness on a 777 or even the intimate rear galley of a 777-B market.
14. Stuffing millions of pretzels into duty free bags for the first bar service
15. Having uncontrollable wind during crew rest.

I really could go on....

Anything you need to know, let me know :)

[fourplay]

miche2

I love your posts on this thread... I wish I could have worked with you...

And I love the brits, best humour! :p :p :p

[EAAFA]

No one has mentioned my personal pet hate of our job: dealing with people using staff travel (whether staff or their relatives. The relatives are usually worse), who expect VIP treatment.

I can never get over how inconsiderate people can be. How can they be so rude to the operating crews by taking up their time with stupid requests and not bothering to clean up their own mess???:* :mad:

They should remember that the generous staff travel discounts come with terms and conditions, one of which is that their behaviour must be exemplary and beyond reproach.

[sinala1]

15. Having uncontrollable wind during crew rest.

Particularly bad on the A340 lower deck crew rest if you get the bunk under the stairs known as "the coffin" (and not only because its right near where human remains are carried in the hold sometimes :ooh: ) - nowhere for the 'odour' to escape, and you get to spend between 1 and 4 hours inhaling your own creation :yuk: :* :E

I am relatively knew to long haul, however to add to the list:

1) Pax asking you "where are we" whilst they stare at the skymap on their screen
2) Getting off the 747 in LAS knowing you have 5 days there, and thanking god you dont have to clean the aircraft!
3) Karaoke at The Truck in NRT (ps sorry to those who's eardrums burst after my rendition of Crazy In Love)
4) Lan Kwai Fong in HKG - when drunk its pronounced "Lick My Thong"
5) Cocktails on the beach in Barbados

[flybywire]

Eau de 747... We call it eau de Boeing, it's very particular, when I don't smell it for a few days I miss it....at my base we also call it Eau de Toilet...if you're still asleep when you board the aircraft at 5am that always wakes you and especially your stomach up!!! :} :E

FBW:)

[KiloMIke]

Miche2 thanks brightening up and otherwise dull sunday late shift on a bank holiday weekend!!

:O

[330-Purser]

miche2,

I've just spent the last few minutes crying with laughter reading your post, fantastic!!! I read your post on another thread about the "trays of neat Gin", now that did make me giggle!

Its people like you who make the job worth doing. Shame there aren't more of you around!

Thank you for the giggles!

330-Purser :ok:

[beauport potato man]

miche2

i was WW LHR then LGW for 4 years and your post has certainly brought back a few memories!!!!

I quit too after those fantastic few years. Its a great job for a while - very exciting places and people - and i still miss it loads, but quitting when i did was the right decision.

I work up the front now (short haul, not long haul...!) but still consider those days in E zone as the best fun of my career so far.

There were sh1tty days, sure, but i hope you'll always keep the good memories.

What do you do now, out of interest?

BPM

[QF skywalker]

miche2

I enjoyed your post, I wonder what you are doing with yourself now ? Surely you must have some pet hates with your new job ?

My pet hates of a 9-5 job:

1. Getting up early every morning - deciding what to wear, slamming down breakfast and facing peak hour traffic or getting your face squashed up against the window in a packed subway train. Then doing it all again on the way home.
2. Never seeing daylight. Stuck in an office all day !Pale skin ! No more fabulous tan !
3. Routine, Routine, Routine
4. Crappy half hour lunch break when everyone else in the office block you work in is fighting over the microwave in the lunch room or queing up at the food court down the road !
5.Not being able to kiss and cuddle every other airline crew member from airlines around the world at china jump in SIN !

Grass is always greener ! There are some things I don't like about flying. But I will never hang up my wings. And I will never stop smiling in the cabin.

:cool:

[apaddyinuk]

Hehehe....Loving this thread. Im now in LGW WW so enjoying some pretty predictable flying around the caribbean and southern USA.

But I can think of a few pet hates from my time in the Middle East...
1. Every Pax on a BOM,KHI,PHW,DAK,TRV asking for "water,water" every two minutes when you havent even had a chance to set up the bar.
2. Hajj flights from random places where most of the pax dont even know what a toilet is and on approach trying to keep your legs off the ground as the nameless bodily liquids flow down the aisles.
3. The number of pax who didnt know what a lock was on the toilet door leaving me to inevitably open the door and catch someone squatting over the sink (this usually happened on the DAK).
4. The captain making His welcome PA "Ladies and gentlemen, our flight time to XXX will be 1hour and 30 minutes Insh Alla"!!! (Am I missing something? Is Alla flying the plane OR IS THE PILOT???)
5. Sitting on the ground in any middle eastern airport with a fully loaded a/c with a 4 hour delay in the middle of the summer with bucket loads of sweat pouring out of every pore in your body when it would probably be cooler outside the a/c!!!
6. But most of all....Listening to all the Indian crewmembers go on about how great and almighty Jet Airways was....WHY THE HELL DID ANY OF THEM LEAVE IT THEN????

Oh wow...for two whole years I have been waiting to get that off my chest! Hehehe!!!

[jan brady]

appaddyinuk, i could not agree with you more!!

[diesel36]

loving this topic. glad your having as much fun as us on the long haul charters.. wish we had beds to rest in. just lean against each other in the back galley of the a330.. no room..