View Full Version : Men who stare at goats

24th May 2005, 15:25
Speaking of light sabres being put to use, I am going to buy this book about The Men Who Stare at Goats (http://www.metacritic.com/books/authors/ronsonjon/menwhostareatgoats).

The yanks were training a special unit of Super-Grunts to walk through walls, turn invisible and kill goats by staring at them (handy in places like Afghanistan but probably easier to just shoot the Taliban/villager) all achievable by nothing more than simply straining your phoo-phoo valve.

This study began ages ago and they have probably developed the techniques fully by now.

Eventually one of these guys will quit the forces and begin training civvies in his own Dojo, just like Cobra Sei Sunsei in Karate Kid did.

Windy Militant
24th May 2005, 15:36
This guy did more than Just stare Man admits sex with goat (http://www.inoohr.org/devianthomosexualpractices.htm) :eek:

Coat, Door, Taxi.....................

tony draper
24th May 2005, 15:50
Did you know that there is a Website called. Interesting facts about Goats?
Apparently they are indifferent to being stared at.
Interesting fact about Frogs.
A Frogs visual system does not see stationary objects, they can only register motion,so if one of those chaps wanted to use the death by looking thingy on a Frog he would have to adopt a sort of crouched over staring posture and shuffle back and forth sideways in front of em.
Bit of a pain in the arse if yer ask me, far efficient to clout em with a stout stick one imagines.
Still, it takes all sorts.

Biggles Flies Undone
24th May 2005, 15:52
We're going to be back on Cane Toads before we know it.... :(

24th May 2005, 16:13
While we're on the subject, can anyone tell me the origins of the saying "gets your goat"? Where in the hell did the saying come from?

Caught the whole Ronson series on C4 - mind-boggling...

Barney the Dinosaur should be outlawed under the Geneva convention, it would get me talking quicker than a hot poker to the gonads...

That Barney really gets my goat up...

24th May 2005, 16:26
A Frogs visual system does not see stationary objects

Is that why their cars are full of dings?

tony draper
24th May 2005, 16:26
Hmmm a difficult one Mr WG here are a couple.
: There is one theory, espoused by H.L. Mencken among others, that ties the phrase to the world of horse racing. It used to be common practice, goes this theory, to stable goats with race horses, trainers believing that the mere presence of the goats would help keep the excitable thoroughbreds calm. If an unscrupulous gambler were to arrange for the removal of a certain goat from a certain horse's stall the day before a race, the horse might be so flustered by the absence of its hircine pal that it would lose the race. The gambler would thus have "gotten the horse's goat."

: Unfortunately, the first occurrence of the phrase in print, according to the Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang, was in 1908. Since goats are no longer (if they ever were) housed with race horses, the practice must have arisen near the beginning of the 20th century -- and been abandoned shortly thereafter -- for that theory to be true.

: A more likely origin of the phrase lies in an earlier (1904) citation in the Random House dictionary, for "goat" as prison slang for "anger." I think this may be the key. After all, goats do, with much provocation, get angry. To bring out the "goat" in someone may take some doing, but will eventually have dramatic results.

24th May 2005, 18:44
I'm a sceptical dyslexic and to be honest, I'm not sure goats really exist as I've never seen one. :confused:

24th May 2005, 20:34
I can tell you they exist.

There is herds of em wandering around Spain, each herd with a guy who looks at em all day long.

Has been going on for centuries...what's your problem!

Part of life here.

24th May 2005, 20:51
I'm a sceptical dyslexic and to be honest, I'm not sure goats really exist
you should be looking for agots.....

24th May 2005, 20:52
...with a guy who looks at em all day long... Betcha they get lonely too, don't they Onan?! ;)

24th May 2005, 21:35
I'm a sceptical dyslexic and to be honest, I'm not sure goats really exist as I've never seen one.

Are you an agnostic dyslexic also ? Do you stay awke at night wondering if there is a dog ??

24th May 2005, 21:35
:8 No, I'm not at all convinced that hosgts or any manifestations of the afterlife wander in herds, even in Spain.

Yes, there might be a dog. I think he just won our last general election :rolleyes: ;)

24th May 2005, 23:56
Are you an agnostic dyslexic also ? Do you stay awke at night wondering if there is a dog ??

Or do you worship Santa instead?

25th May 2005, 00:45
...he would have to adopt a sort of crouched over staring posture and shuffle back and forth sideways in front of 'em. Mmmm, Very interesting.
"Froggie" Collin, our French Master, used to do that. I never realized he was trying to kill us. :ooh:

Thank the Lord for Madame Fifi, she saved us from an awful fate...

25th May 2005, 07:42
There is herds of em wandering around Spain, each herd with a guy who looks at em all day long.
Not a job for the Supergrunt... I guess the farmer will be pretty pissed when Supergrunt comes home after killing the heard by looking at them all day.

Loose rivets
25th May 2005, 08:17
I think frogs can see stationary objects....they just find them boring:hmm:

25th May 2005, 10:01
What's the average life span of a goat (given the poor beast is not consumed by the hungry hordes early on, nor terribly diseased) ?
The Grunts have been practicing the 'look of doom' for 26 years now, surely the original goats died of old age or boredom many, many moons ago. So, how is the cause of death determined - natural end or a death due a stare?:confused:

tony draper
25th May 2005, 10:14
What are Goats used for? one understands the female of the species supplies some kind of milk,but the males what of them? can one eat a Goat,in truth one has never seen Goat chops or loin of Goat or indeed Goat burgers in ones butchers.

Lon More
25th May 2005, 10:21
"High on a hill sat a lonely goatherd, yodel o ...... etc"


25th May 2005, 10:25
But if they had locked the goat in a box with a phial of poison gas due to be released at an unknown time they could, by staring at thye box hard enough, have determined that the goat was already dead without having to open the box.

Thus replacing Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle by Goatstarer's Certainty Rule.

25th May 2005, 10:36
I was expecting said author of the book to be no other than our very own Timmcat.

He, after all, can stare at a sheep and somehow project his (devient) thoughts into the sheeps mind. Why else would they run a mile when he stares at them lustfully?

He was also responsible for the governments research into his 'Top Secret' velcro-gloves project and the millions wasted on that.

25th May 2005, 10:36
Schrodinger's goat, anyone?:O

25th May 2005, 12:34
Senor Draper

Goat stew, goat curry are frequently on the menu of members of the West Indian community in Slough. Often found had eaten goat at parties, when hostess asked how you liked the curry, then told you it was goat.

Though have never heard of goat meat being used differently for burgers or keebabs.

I take it your local butcher does not have many customers from the Caribean, hence no demand for goat, old or new, in your neck of the woods!

25th May 2005, 13:15
What about turning ibvisible... any progress there???

Erwin Schroedinger
25th May 2005, 17:16
Schrodinger's goat, anyone?
That's just a vicious rumour.

The Vaseline was for.........err ................my chapped lips. :O

25th May 2005, 21:17
Often ate goat (or agot) in the ME - fed on dates, they were, and subsequent kebabs were very sweet and tasty. In some of the Pacific islands I understand they get their goats/otags to drink vinegar, suposedly to reduce the marinating time....:oh:

26th May 2005, 03:52
doesnt mutton come from goats?!

one always thunk so...

Capn Notarious
26th May 2005, 05:39
No one has yet mentioned the Goatea beard, this adventure in facial fluff has oft been noticed with chaps; presenting
a University lecture knowledge programme. They should be shaved to a sensible appearrance or hairless.

Never seen a bearded lady but maybe one of our correspondents has.

26th May 2005, 06:00
Goat recipes (http://www.jackmauldin.com/goat_recipes.htm) and just for Falps, Norwegian goat recipes. (http://www.jackmauldin.com/goat_recipes.htm) :p

henry crun
26th May 2005, 08:02
BombayDuck: You are a trifle confused, mutton is the meat of an adult sheep.

Solid Rust Twotter
26th May 2005, 08:43
Mmmm! Crisp fried goat and goat curry.

Much better than mutton or lamb IMO.:ok: Much more flavour...

26th May 2005, 08:53
Cheese made from goat's milk is very good.
But what's going on with with goat poop? Look like Raisinettes...
And if you want 'em dead, whack 'em with a stick.

26th May 2005, 11:32
Goat roast... mmmh....:ok:

Former Father in law had goats... a bit strange here in Dk, but anyway... He had the opinion, that if I was going to fool around with his daughter, I might as well could be put to some use.
So every year, come slaughter time - I was called upon to help with the killing... And no - it did not involve staring at the beasts
I must admit that being a big softie, I left the murdering to him, but helped with the skinning and gutting of the now dead buggers...

So... apart from his daughter, I have eaten a lot of goat :p

(Spelling sucks, but my secretary has her day off...)

Biggles Flies Undone
26th May 2005, 11:44
If I remember my survival training correctly, goats are very easy to off. There's a soft patch at the rear of the skull and moderate pressure with the end of a biro or similar does the job very quickly :ooh:

26th May 2005, 12:07
Not anymore. Leftists and greenies put an end to the fun.

Nowadays on ComSurv, you have to track and kill, using your bare hands, a plucked and gutted Steggles shicken. Still frozen so it doesn't go off while you hunt it down...

For IFTB, the lime leaf licker, who is not required by Microsoft Combat Flight Sim to actually endure a Combat Survival course, you can pick up some KFC takeaway and achieve the same effect, more or less.....


27th May 2005, 00:41
On our jungle survival course we came upon a goat. After the 'Diet of Worms' it was just too tempting. Although we did stare at it - for quite a few seconds - it wouldn't die, so we were obliged to adopt more traditional methods...

Her Majesty dealt with the villager's compensation claim much later. We were given to understand that she was not amused.

Well, the instructors did say we were to survive on anything edible that we could find. :hmm:

27th May 2005, 06:38
After the men who stare at goats come the men who stare at the men who have sex with goats?

Next week: adverts for trauma counsellors for molested goats. V. hard to get the goats to open up, accept professional help and move on with their lives. They tend to feign indifference, it seems.

Note to self: lose the goat-hair underwear.