View Full Version : Most useless present

24th May 2005, 08:18
The GF got early retirement last week (lucky c*w) and held a bit of a bash in a local pub to celebrate. Quite a lot of the guests brought a little present, most of them very useful (e.g. bottle of wine, always usefull), but the one that really made me laugh was a lovely gold-plated business card holder - just the job for somebody who isn't going to work again!!

Thought other prooners might have had some totally useless presents to amuse us with.

24th May 2005, 08:50
My step mother got me a heated window scraper for frost in the morning, at xmas!.

Now sounds all well and good, except, the cable attaching said device to the cigarette plug, is about 1ft long!..........point being, I can do my wing mirror if I'm lucky and with the window down!:mad:

Suppose it's the thought that counts...........however, not much thought in that :ugh:

24th May 2005, 08:57
For Christmas my brother sent me what looks like a food item from his home in Hong Kong. However, there is no English written on it at all and my brother can't find another packet for his girlfriend to translate. :uhoh:

Capn Notarious
24th May 2005, 09:51
I was once given a circular plastic spool, on which to wind excess telephone cable. Never had excess cables and phones, everywhere. Same person ( blood relative and should know better ) has given standard lamp and other sundries which have gone to the charity shop!

24th May 2005, 09:56
Mum once gave me and Mrs 401 a plastic cockatoo that supposedly reacts to your movement and talks/sings etc.

It lives under the desk in the study, firmly switched off.

24th May 2005, 10:01
Was once foolish enough to mention how handy trouser presses were to Punter Seniors. Received finest Corby for crimble, proceeded to cart it from house to house for five years before eventually hoying it at the pikeys down the dump for them to sell.

Also got six razors on me 21st, despite the fact had been shaving since fifteen:rolleyes:

tony draper
24th May 2005, 10:17
A Barometer about six foot tall, fashioned from oak brass and glass,from a maiden Aunt ,she said one could hang it on the gun deck wall next to ones hammock at sea, so one would be aware of what the weather was like.

24th May 2005, 10:36
Me mum, bless her, got me a computer cleaning kit one Christmas. It contained a little had held vacuum cleaner powered by an AA battery. It was so weak and feeble that the dust that had collected in my PC didn't move a micrometer when I tried it out.


24th May 2005, 11:10
Recently got a belated Christmas present from my ageing aunt. A pair of plastic (?) slippers, two sizes too small. Lovely. :p

24th May 2005, 13:40
Balix. Got one of them from my kids on Xmas. I think it's still in the bottom drawer of the desk somewhere.

24th May 2005, 14:43
That wine bottle opener with the needle and pump is still the top of the list in the Jerricho household, although the potato bonsai kit is a very close second.

24th May 2005, 15:02
I've just been given a warning triangle to put in the boot of my Midget. Durr ... thanks so much. As if I'm going to need that. :rolleyes:

Whoops. Anyone got the number for the RAC?

24th May 2005, 15:03
UniFoxOs you'll probably find it was re-gifted. (http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/SavingandDebt/P86207.asp)

A nice move, since he seems to have almost gotten away with it.

24th May 2005, 18:47
Another pressie from me mum, bless her, was an emergency mobile phone charging kit consisting of 4 AAA batteries and a selection of plugs to fit most makes of mobile phone. I mean I seldom remember to take my mobile phone with me anywhere so I'm hardly likely to remember to take the bloody emergency recharging kit, am I.

She means well...

24th May 2005, 18:58
Must be a mother thing, mine got me a coin counter !. Mum, do you remember that O level in maths that I got 24 years ago, that means I can count:mad:
bless her.

If you are interested, it will be on e bay soon.

25th May 2005, 02:15
I was given a DIY enema kit for a fiftieth birthday gift.

I think the donor was trying to tell me something. A bit rich coming from the very chap who set fire to half the Hash by pouring methylated spirits onto the barbie, thereby earning himself a brand new Hash Handle.

Are you reading this "Flaming Ars*hole"? :8

25th May 2005, 04:23
Was given three wall clocks for Wedding presents 21 years ago, gave one away to MIL in Thailand. Actualy still have the other two and they work. They dont realy count do they.

OK several years ago got aftershave for Xmas from some one cnat remember who.

Have had a Mo since 73, and havent shaved since I left the Airforce in Dec94, got the bushy beard to prove it.:= :=

Atlas Shrugged
25th May 2005, 05:27
A giant ceramic Galapagos turtle on wheels, with clockwork revolving eyes!

25th May 2005, 06:07
:) Yet another wife, virginity still to be determined, bought at the usual slave market and given to me, in exchange for services rendered, as a gift by a certain potentate from a country with an Arabian history. Nothing to do with Uganda.:ouch:

Loose rivets
25th May 2005, 06:21
A giant ceramic Galapagos turtle on wheels, with clockwork revolving eyes!

was it "with extra string in abundance?":ok: