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Alpha Leader
21st May 2005, 12:15
There have been hundreds of Skoda jokes over the years (e.g. How do you double the value of your Skoda?.....Fill its tank with petrol), but Skoda India have no doubt come up with the most hilarious punchline:

Obsessed with quality since 1895

They've clearly tried to forget such triumphs such as the 1000 MB and the 110R.....

Paraffin Budgie
21st May 2005, 12:19
Man in Halfords:

"Have you got a radio for my Skoda?"

"OK, sounds like a fair swap to me"


Why do Skodas have heated rear windows?

To keep your hands warm when you're pushing them in winter.....

Rushton
21st May 2005, 12:32
Oh well if we are digging up old Skoda jokes

What do you call a convertable Skoda?


A skip.


Ok the doors open i'm off

jb5000
21st May 2005, 12:48
How do you double the value of a skoda?



.... Fill it up with petrol..

:rolleyes:

gruntie
21st May 2005, 13:03
What's the difference between a Skoda and a Jehovah's Witness?


You can shut the door on a Jehovah's Witness.

Rushton
21st May 2005, 13:06
What do you call a Skoda with twin exhausts?


A wheelbarrow

BALIX
21st May 2005, 13:15
Heard of the new 16 valve Skoda?

Four in the engine and twelve in the radio :}

BDiONU
21st May 2005, 16:39
Why do skodas have a rear wash wipe ?

........To remove the flies that crash into them.


What do you call a Skoda with a long radio aerial?

A dodgem!



What do you call a skoda driver who say's he has a speeding ticket ????

A Dreamer.


I had to part with my skoda as it was costing too much,

I was only doing 10 miles to every pair of trainers!!



Whats the difference between a Skoda and a tampon?

The Tampon comes with its own tow rope!

Unwell_Raptor
21st May 2005, 17:00
And the best joke of all is that they came second in the authoritative JD Power customer satisfaction survey, just behind Lexus.

pigboat
21st May 2005, 17:33
Sounds like the Yugo/Lada jokes.

During the crash test, the Lada fell apart on the way to the barrier.

Omark44
22nd May 2005, 01:48
Q. What is the difference between a sheep and a Skoda?

A. It is only marginally more embarrassing being caught getting out of the back of a sheep than it is getting out of the back of a Skoda!

ZK-NSJ
22nd May 2005, 06:47
dosnt our beloved overseeer of this forum own a skoda?

cyclicmicky
22nd May 2005, 07:37
Its just gone awfully quiet in here hasn't it!!!:E

RiskyRossco
22nd May 2005, 08:14
. . . too quiet. Somewhere off in the distance a dog barked. Then the ominous click of a S&W cylinder turning. . .

cyclicmicky
22nd May 2005, 08:21
.....nothing stirred, the sun beat down on the parched ground, nothing could be heard in the eerie stillness.......... the anticipation of something terrible........

The Nr Fairy
22nd May 2005, 10:39
. . . another crap Skoda joke . . .

BombayDuck
22nd May 2005, 14:25
"crap Skoda" joke or crap "Skoda joke"? :E

tart1
22nd May 2005, 15:14
You see ........... the punctuation always makes all the difference!!

:cool: :cool:

panda-k-bear
23rd May 2005, 12:11
OK, I'll set the ball rolling again....

What do you call a Skoda at the top of a hill?

A miracle


What do you call 2 Skodas at the top of a hill?

A mirage.

chiglet
23rd May 2005, 20:54
What do you call a Russian Skoda?........




































An Illision.....:ok:


watp,iktch

tinpis
24th May 2005, 01:04
. . . too quiet. Somewhere off in the distance a dog barked. Then the ominous click of a S&W cylinder turning. . .
.....nothing stirred, the sun beat down on the parched ground, nothing could be heard in the eerie stillness.......... the anticipation of something terrible........








The jingle of a spur on a hand tooled leather boot .
The Skandihooligan killer laughed hideously , the feeble arctic sun glinting off the raised stainless steel magnum as she braced herself for the massive recoil.
Another snivelling fool dispatched.
Never again would the peasants in this village laugh at her Skoda .

http://www.augk18.dsl.pipex.com/Smileys/guns2.gif

fleigle
24th May 2005, 01:43
....then, in the distance could be heard a quiet, desparate curse, accompanied by.....click.....click.....click.......as Fred futilely turned the key of his pristine 1961 Octavia.
(whoops, time warp somewhere):confused:

tinpis
24th May 2005, 02:05
Damn!
Fred remembered he had lent the Skandihooligan his battery...something about powering love toys?
Suddenly a goatish blaaaaat! as a 4 hp Skoda drifted in the snow around the corner towards him.
It was her ! All is not lost !
The shapely boot-swathed leg pressed the gas pedal to the floor , 20..25...30 kilometres an hour as the Skoda leapt forward towards the figure of Fred pinioned like a rabbit in the powerful four watt glare of the headlights...

ZK-NSJ
24th May 2005, 06:52
is 30km/ph top speed for a skoda?

Windy Militant
24th May 2005, 08:53
The shapely boot-swathed leg pressed the gas pedal to the floor , 20..25...30 kilometres an hour as the Skoda leapt forward towards the figure of Fred pinioned like a rabbit in the powerful four watt glare of the headlights...

The Smile fell from Freds face as a 300bhp Fabia world rally car Barreled past the Skandihooligan and headed straight for him. With a super human effort he hurled himself to one side. There was a dull thud and just before he slipped into oblivion he heard a demonic voice shout "It's OK! I got him with the door HA HA HA HA HA"..........

MadsDad
24th May 2005, 09:35
Always did build some useful rally cars (won their class on the RAC rally 17 years in succession as I recall (John Haughland?)).

And when the group 'B' cars were in use in the 70s (Ford RS200/Metro 6R4/Lancia Delta; superquick things they were) they built a car to compete. We were looking forward to seeing how good it was but the class was banned (after the death of Henri Toivenen) before it could compete.

tinpis
24th May 2005, 10:28
Fred groaned and coughed splattering blood on the hand tooled boots standing on his chest.
In the distance the fading exhaust note of the 300hp Fabia receded in the distance echoing off the still snow laden firs.
The Skandihooligan checked her S&W reloaded and strode to her Skoda.
One more Hadji flight and she could afford the new Fabia.......

Lon More
24th May 2005, 11:56
is 30km/ph top speed for a skoda?

Vne on a suspended tow probably