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BUMPFF
20th May 2005, 12:14
Mrs. BUMPFF owns an old (but tidy and live-in serviceable) 32-foot static mobile home that is parked on a riverside holiday site near Stamford, about 50 miles distant. It was in regular use as a weekend bolt-hole during her single days and she now wishes to dispose of it because it is uneconomical to pay ground rent of around £600 p.a. Sale ads havenít found a buyer.

The site owner wants it removed, and so does she. The said site owner is most unhelpful, his stance being that itís not worth buying and unless it is removed he will continue to charge rent. He cannot (will not?) advise her on how it can be scrapped. Local scrap dealers arenít interested because it has no scrap value, and all the local council Waste Management Services in the area canít advise her either. Cutting it up on-site ourselves and shipping the bits to an amenity tip is out of the question, as weíre both a little over the age of 35.

Please, can anyone suggest a course of action? How would you go about arranging disposal?

Thanks in advance.

IFTB
20th May 2005, 12:16
Put it in the, weekly emptied, recycle bin, battery and all!

VIVE LA FRANCE, VIVE LE TRI! :} :E :E

Capt.KAOS
20th May 2005, 12:23
May be the pikies are interested? ;)

Saintsman
20th May 2005, 12:28
Try a new approach to your small ads.

"Mobile home available. Free to the first person who calls"


Or you can rent it out to assylum seekers. The local council will even pay you for the privilage.

Vankem Spankfaart
20th May 2005, 12:39
Jezza Clarkson and the Top Gear crew have uses for caravans and mobile homes.

:E

V

BRL
20th May 2005, 13:10
Set fire to it and run.........

Droopy
20th May 2005, 13:20
Take it on the motorway in a good strong crosswind. Works admirably and gives the motorway cops something to do.

Avtrician
20th May 2005, 13:21
Put a sign on saying private property, security protected and I cant be moved. Guaranteed to be gone 5 min aftter fitting sign.

airborne_artist
20th May 2005, 13:23
Advertise it in Horse and Hound, not free (or people will take the p!$$).

here (http://www.horseandhound.co.uk)

Conan the Librarian
20th May 2005, 13:29
Could it be tied into some sort of charity demolition thingy type thingy? Couple of crews of local firemen/RAF for instance - "How long will it take for us to destroy - sponsor us for charity etc. etc" Local press and TV are a breeze on events like this. Give them the bait and they will go for it.

Of course the site might not be suitable and there are other considerations too - but if you think laterally, there might be a no cost solution in there somewhere.

cheers,

Conan

Devlin Carnet
20th May 2005, 13:48
Dont you know a couple of military Helicopter pilots, that could drop it in the North sea at a small cost? :ok:

fleigle
20th May 2005, 14:06
IFTB......um, errrr, he said mobile home, not phone....sorry, I'll go and have another cuppa...:uhoh: .

If it was in some areas over here you would just have to wait a short while for a timely twister to take it away.:O

flapsforty
20th May 2005, 14:06
airborne_artist, a rather disconcerting publication. :uhoh: :ugh: ... two methods for inseminating the sperm deep into the uterus. The first is to use a special long plastic tube, which is guided by placing one hand in the rectum of the mare and slowly advancing the catheter.

Onan the Clumsy
20th May 2005, 14:14
The turkey baster method :ok:

IFTB
20th May 2005, 14:27
IFTB......um, errrr, he said mobile home, not phone....sorry

Ah well, same solution!

Cheers!
hick!

Skylark4
20th May 2005, 16:19
You could try contacting your local Gliding Club. Some use mobile homes as accommodation for club members over the weekend. Do not expect any significant quantity of cash though. Think of it more as removal without charge.
Try an ad. in a "Build your own house" Magazine.

Mike W

Unwell_Raptor
20th May 2005, 16:53
Tow it to a layby and set light to it. Not legal and not tidy, but plenty of people round here do it.

acbus1
20th May 2005, 17:59
Remove all identity.

Find the nearest Gyppo camp.

Tow it there at 3am (quietly)

When the Gyppos move on, complain bitterly to the Council about the mess, old bedsteads, matresses, dissassembled cars and (would you believe it) mobile homes just left there. Not essential, but adds to the satisfaction.

Congratulate yourself on actually getting something in return for your Council Tax apart from contributing to their Pension Scheme.

Krystal n chips
20th May 2005, 18:20
Stick a " I love Man Utd / Liverpool / Arsenal" sticker in the window--and another one saying "No tools or valuables kept here overnight"--the local Fire service will duly arrive as a result of the attentions of the local derivatives of "Deliverance" ---and bingo--one insurance claim later--coughs!:hmm:

bladewashout
20th May 2005, 22:19
Put it on Ebay, purchasor to arrange removal, starting bid £1.

BW

RaraAvis
20th May 2005, 23:27
acbus1

Rumor has that as far as the caravan's go, periwinkle blue is the color of choice among these discerning gentlemen...:ouch:

timmcat
21st May 2005, 09:31
10 minutes with a baseball bat and DX Wombats caravan was reduced to this.. (http://groups.msn.com/LatinFlyersAirportBar/timmcatselvingtonpics.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=1552)

Or, why not witness an owner disposing of their own mobile home? Here. (http://www.mountainbikerider.co.uk/images/videos/1_4_5/caravanpull.mpg)

airborne_artist
21st May 2005, 11:04
airborne_artist, a rather disconcerting publication.

... two methods for inseminating the sperm deep into the uterus. The first is to use a special long plastic tube, which is guided by placing one hand in the rectum of the mare and slowly advancing the catheter.

I prefer the second, myself ..

Being a country lad I know plenty of people in the animal breeding sector, including a vet who spends one day a week taking semen from boars :yuk:

PilotsPal
23rd May 2005, 15:06
Is this any use?

http://www.caravanninglinks.co.uk/caravanbreakers.htm

MACC 29 all the time!!!!
23rd May 2005, 19:57
J Clarkson Top GeAR CHAPS OVER THERE ALWAYS SEEM TO BE UP FOR A BIT OF mOTORWAY COLLESTERAL DESTRUCTION. tHEY MIGHT DISSASSEMBLE IT INTO SMALL ENOUGH PARTS TO BAG UP, OR JUST CATAPULT IT INTO ORBIT OR PUT IT TO SOME SIMILARLY OTHER DESERVING END.

Blacksheep
24th May 2005, 05:08
DX Wombat is a PIKEY???? :uhoh:

Crikey timmcat, one would never have thought it... :hmm:

ORAC
24th May 2005, 05:19
Go to the Mil forum and explain the situation and offer 4-5 slabs of beer. I'm sure a call to the NAAFI or mess will arrange for a few fit young lads and a 4 tonner on a training run on the PTA.....

Farrell
24th May 2005, 05:28
I agree with BRL........torch it!

Or maybe.......find some pikeys and tell them that the guy who owns the land wants them to stay there.....and your missus should keep paying the rent......hell, we could all chip in here if you posted the pictures of the burnt out cars and piles of stinking nappies!! :E

Atlas Shrugged
24th May 2005, 07:03
http://oncampus.osu.edu/v31n20/images/v31n20_gateway.jpg