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AIRWAY
19th May 2005, 08:08
A plane is on its way to Melbourne
> when a blonde in Economy Class gets
> up and moves to the First Class
> section and sits down. The flight
> attendant watches her do this and
> asks to see her ticket. She then
> tells the blonde passenger that she
> paid for Economy and that she will
> have to go and sit in the back.
>
> The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm
> beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne
> and I'm staying right here!"
>
>
> The flight attendant goes into the
> cockpit and tells the pilot and
> co-pilot that there is some blonde
> bimbo sitting in First Class that
> belongs in Economy and won't move
> back to her seat. The co-pilot goes
> back to the blonde and tries to
> explain that because she only paid
> for Economy she is only entitled to an economy place and she will have
> to leave and return to her original
> seat.
>
>
> The blonde replies, "I'm blonde,
> I'm beautiful, I'm going to
> Melbourne and I' m staying right
> here!"
>
>
>
> Exasperated the co-pilot tells the
> pilot that it was no use and that
> he probably should have the police
> waiting when they land to arrest
> this blonde woman that won't listen
> to reason.
>
> The pilot says, "You say she's
> blonde? I'll handle this, I'm
> married to a blonde, and I speak
> blonde!"
>
> He goes back to the blonde,
> whispers in her ear, and she says
> "Oh, I'm sorry I had no idea," gets
> up and moves back to her seat in
> the economy section.
>
> The flight attendant and co-pilot
> are amazed and asked him what he
> said to make her move without any> fuss.
>
> The Pilot replied "I told her First
> Class isn't going to Melbourne."

:} :O

hailstone
19th May 2005, 08:51
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he
looks into his small bowl. It is empty.

"Who's been eating my porridge?!!", he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks
into his big bowl, and it is also empty.

"Who's been eating my porridge?!!" he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and
yells,

"For God's sake, how many times do we have to go through this with you
idiots?

It was Mummy Bear who got up first.

It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house.

It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee.

It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put
everything away.

It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch
the newspaper and croissants.

It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.

It was Mummy Bear who put the bloody cats out, cleaned the litter boxes,
gave the cats their food and refilled their water.

And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs,
and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully,
because I'm only going to say this once.

I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET!!

UniFoxOs
19th May 2005, 10:16
A man goes into an adult entertainment shop and asks the assistant for an inflatable doll.



"Would you like male of female?" The assistant asks.



"Female, please." Said the man.



"Would you like Black, or White?" Asks the assistant.



"White, please." States the man.



"Would you like Christian or Muslim?" The assistant enquires...



This question confused the man . . . and he replied, "What has the religion got to do with it? It's an inflatable doll!"



"Well," explained the assistant, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"


Boom, Boom!!