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al_ee_gorey
18th May 2005, 04:53
And so it was, that in the middle of the century, Emil Herbert left his home in central Europe and, hungary for wealth, he traveled to the ancient land of Godzone where he changed his name. Taking the name ‘Peter the Able’ he set up business transporting goods. And in the process he used many beasts of burden, and he trod on all around him and he swept aside all before him. And many were the asses that were kicked and defiled but he prospered mightily. Such did his power become that Peter forced a kindly old landowner named Reginald off his lands and he set to work pillaging and plundering the assets of that land.

Meanwhile, there was much rivalry between local tribes, especially twixt Peter’s tribe and the smaller tribe of Gondwana, which was led by James Beau-tye. And Peter and James each urged their labourers to work harder that each tribe may surpass the other. And in the fever to be triumphant the two leaders flogged their workers and treated them badly. And it came to pass that, in the sixth year of the reign of King Robert, the workers rose up and said, “Thou shalt not oppress us further and we demand of thee our fair dues.” And the workers of both tribes were united as one.

Realizing the seriousness of the threat, Peter ran urgently to King Robert (for he had the King’s ear) and he said, “Sire, wilt thou assist me to smite these labourers for they have besmirched thy name and they hold thee in contempt”. Being consumed with his own importance, the evil and unscrupulous King Robert was mightily offended and replied, “Together we shall destroy our enemy. Name it and anything shall be yours.”

And Peter and James searched the land for mercenaries to work their farms even bringing in flotsam and jetsam from far off lands. And King Robert emptied the prisons and set all kinds of criminals, cheats and vermin free, giving them special license to work upon those farms. And the King corruptly used his powers to make new laws against the workers and he set his army upon them and he declared that any who resisted were to be crushed even though they were his own people and many were forced to flee with their families to foreign lands.

And so it was, that in that same year, a band of mercenaries and evil opportunists stole the positions of overseers in the two tribes. But, such was their incompetence that the two tribes were doomed. And before many years had passed, Peter was cast out by his own peasants and he died in the wilderness, a pathetic and broken man. And, within a few years of Peter’s death, under the control of his incompetent and self-interested overseers, his tribe starved and perished also and his lands were ruined such that no-one would buy them or work them again.

Meanwhile, an old farmer had been carefully working his land nearby and he had prospered. The land was on the middle and upper slopes of a mountain and it was difficult and dangerous to work. So, in order for his sons to properly learn the art of farming such land, he had insisted they work as labourers until they were sufficiently experienced to take the position of overseer. This meant many years of arduous toil and patience but the sons accepted their father’s will as it was for the good of all.

Then, in the ninth year of King Robert’s reign, the tribe led by James followed in Peter’s footsteps and also began to falter and their lands were put up for sale. And the old farmer saw the potential of James’ land for it was fertile, low-lying and easily worked. But the land had been poorly managed and had little appeal. So he did bid and, for the small price of four hundred millshekels, the land was his. But, with the land came a caveat; the old farmer had to promise to employ the labourers on the land and to adopt the disreputable overseers as if they were his own sons so that they might continue to enjoy the privileges of their ill-gotten gains. Having worked so hard for so long to become overseers on their own land the farmer’s real sons were concerned that such substandard and vile men should be made instant overseers on their father’s new land. But the farmer entreated his sons to accept the adopted men as their own brothers for the sake of harmony and peace and to let them keep those huge concessions.

And so it was. The original sons toiled hard on the rugged slopes of the mountain while the adopted sons relished their good fortune and rejoiced in the light work of the fertile lowlands. But it was not long before the true nature of the adopted sons began to show and they looked up to the higher grounds and, although they were harder lands to work, they appeared greener and the adopted sons coveted them. All the while, the unbridled avarice of the adopted sons stirred their desires for more and more; and, to keep the peace, the farmer gave them more concessions and more favours. And the original sons saw this and were much troubled; yet, for the sake of their father they said naught.

Still not satisfied with their lot, the adopted sons pressed the farmer to allow them to be overseers on the higher lands, which belonged to the original sons, and they even demanded to have authority over those brothers. At first the farmer resisted, knowing that their demands were selfish and unreasonable but they carped and wailed and moaned long into the night. And the original sons tried to reason with their adopted brothers but, as they were entirely without conscience, the reason fell on deaf ears. Then, in an effort to distance himself from the conflict between his real and adopted sons, the farmer sought the advice of the leader of another tribe and for him to act as judge. And the real sons put their case that it was not fair for the adopted sons to take some of the high land and yet keep all their own low land. The adopted sons squealed much longer and more loudly into the ears of the judge until they deafened him. And they told fantastic stories and embellished their tales of woe with claims of being so badly mistreated that they had often been forced to seek the relief of unction and greasy ointments. Being overwhelmed by the enormity of these tales and the ability of the adopted sons to keep straight faces whilst they told them, the judge was swayed and became sympathetic to their cause. The original sons, naively believing that right and fairness would prevail, sat back quietly and said little. And this was seen as disinterest and even sanction and thus the judge gave his ruling and he directed that the adopted sons should be allowed to work certain parts of the high lands on an equal basis with the original sons.

The original sons were much vexed and there were great mumblings and some gnashing of teeth but they had no recourse. And, although they rightly complained, their arguments were drowned out by the loud rejoicing of the insensitive, selfish, grasping and now arrogant adopted brothers. The original brothers, finding little sympathy from their father and no gratitude or magnanimity from their adopted brothers, went away to lick their wounds. Then seeing their distress, their father said unto them, “Fear not my sons for you are still my favoured ones and I shall reward you. There is a new parcel of land for sale on the top of the mountain; being some nineteen score acres in size. I shall one day purchase it and you shall be the ones to work it!” And, with this assurance, they were in some way assuaged and they went back to work, reluctantly putting aside their feelings to work beside their adopted brothers.

It was difficult for the original sons, for where they were now disillusioned and crestfallen the adopted sons were filled with new confidence and they puffed out their chests and their eyes sparkled with lust and greed as they eagerly searched for more land that they could take from their honest and trusting brothers.

And, before long, the father announced that he had purchased the land at the top of the mountain and the adopted brothers smirked and rubbed their hands together and began plotting. The original brothers continued to work hard and they prepared themselves to work the dangerous and tricky mountaintop for their father, confident in the knowledge that it had been promised to them. But, in great secrecy, the adopted brothers schemed in earnest and they began immediately to undermine their brothers. Long and hard did they lobby, once again bleating and telling tall tales of how they had been mistreated. And they were long-winded in their claims that they had been unfairly treated; and they avowed that despite the promises of the father, the original brothers had no right to the land. And they claimed that a precedent had already been set and that they should now be allowed to work the nineteen score acres.

And this campaign continued until the day finally came to pass where the farmer took control of the nineteen score acres. And the pressure exerted by the adopted sons was so great that the farmer was sorely moved and he looked to his original sons for their argument but they were no-where to be seen for, being confident that right and fairness would prevail and that they needed to do nothing, they had stayed in their fields and buried their heads in the sand. And the farmer understandably took this to mean that they had no interest and were not concerned to work the land themselves. So, the farmer turned to the adopted sons and said, “I promised the land to my original sons but they have shown little interest. On the other hand, you have been vocal for a long time and your voices have been loud; expressing your great desire and willingness to work the nineteen score acres. Therefore, my adopted sons, go forth and work those acres – all 380 of them.”

ur2
18th May 2005, 05:08
Bloody idiot pom. :ooh:

lambsie
18th May 2005, 06:38
BRILLIANT! Love it!

Ur2...methinks you don't get it.

Or are you one of the 'A' listers? :hmm:

tinpis
18th May 2005, 07:05
:hmm: There are about 89 different ways this thread can take off.

robroy
18th May 2005, 07:09
Me thinks, its a blackleg. ur, that is.

A BRILLIANT BIT OF WORK, my CONGRATE's to Al- Ee -Gorey

Cheers

robroy

Snowballs
18th May 2005, 07:21
That will be just what the adopted sons hate reading .......... great

Howard Hughes
18th May 2005, 07:31
A work of art...

But is it art, for art's sake?;)

Cheers, HH.

:ok:

Windy Militant
18th May 2005, 10:05
Is this a recurrence of the scrolls, or does he always walk like that! ;) ;)

Ralph the Bong
18th May 2005, 14:08
Well, given the differences in technological philosophies employed on the QF boeing and the A330/A380, it would make sense to use crew who were familiar with nature of the equipment. Sounds safer to me.

speeeedy
19th May 2005, 03:55
al_ee_gorey, you must have inspired someone, this was just sent to me.....

Once upon a time in a Kingdom not that very far from here was a band of merry men who possessed skills that no other in the land possessed. They were the Queens knights who rode upon vast carriages propelled by four powerful horses. They would ride to far flung exotic lands, and would regale all who would listen with their incredible tales of daring and cunning skill.

Although they travelled with others of lessor rank, history can find no mention or credit to them for any of the incredible feats that were achieved. It was the unspoken rule that those of lesser rank should be seen but not heard, and if they were good they might one day be bestowed the glory of knighthood.

It was found that many of those of lesser rank possessed skills which were quite adaptable to knighthood, many had in fact been knights in other tribes or in the royal force. This was unacceptable to the older knights, who upon their ascendancy had to battle hard for their knighthood because their skills were raw and unproven. So it came to be that no senior knight would pass on any skills or knowledge to those of lesser ranks in order that their ascendancy to knighthood be made as difficult as possible. For it was that as was done to them must be done to others.

During this time it was found that smaller carriages propelled by only two horses were needed in order to travel to lands adjacent to those of the kingdom. Two horse carriages were considered beneath the skills of the knights, and so knighthoods were offered aplenty to those of lesser ranks. These new knights were given all the rights and privileges of the older knights, but, of course, they were never to be given the respect of those that rode four horse carriages.

These newer knights, in the tradition of those that went before, decided that they to, should invoke a system which ensures that those of lesser rank should be afforded no comfort during the time of their ascendancy. In fact these very knights actively sort to decapitate many, in order that they be given some respect from those who rode the four horse carriages.

Meanwhile there was another band of merry men. These were the Anti Knights and they were, on the surface, treated like the Queens Knights brethren. These men, however, only rode two and three horse carriages, and only travelled within the kingdom, and so the ‘Q’ Knights always considered themselves superior. They once in fact used to share the same round table, but that was never going to last.

One day the ‘A’ Knights held an uprising against the Kingdom. It was certain that without any carriages travelling within the Kingdom that victory should be theirs, however the ‘Q’ Knights allowed their carriages to be filled, in order to alleviate some of the burden being felt by the Kingdom. At this same time, many knights from other lands also sought to help the kingdom, these knights were quickly made ‘A’ knights, some of these knights from other lands were in dire situations abroad and were grateful for the opportunity, but a few were just greedy.

Also many previous ‘A’ knights also returned, some quite early on, and many much later. Again the situation was dire for many, but a few did foresee advancement at haste.

The uprising was defeated.

No matter the individuals situation the ‘Q’ knight, would henceforth piously claim that each and every ‘A’ knight was no better than the dried blood upon a wound. These ‘Q’ knights placed themselves on a pedestal of self righteousness thus ensuring that no deeds by themselves during the uprising would be scrutinised.

After a time, the kingdom sought to merge the operations of its carriages. This meant that ‘Q’ knights and ‘A’ knights would now work for the same employer, and therefore some agreement would have to be reached. True to form the ‘Q’ knights were more concerned about the big issues… like “are these A knights going to be allowed to wear the same uniform???”, they also couldn’t grasp the concept of a merger, they assumed the ‘A’ knights were being allowed into the fold, whereas the actual situation was that they were joining “together”, a word that, to this very day, the ‘Q’ knights do not understand.

At the top of the list of ‘Q’ demands (just after uniforms) was that no ‘A’ knight be allowed to ride their shiny carriages. After much angst it was agreed that each would stick to their own carriages, but any new carriages would be up for grabs, depending on the location that these carriages would travel to. The ‘Q’ knights were generally happy, although to the horror of some, the ‘A’ knights would indeed wear the same uniform.

The agreement was a serious loss to the ‘A’ knights, for almost immediately the two horse wide body carriage ridden by the ‘Q’ knights took over all of the travel within the kingdom previously done by ‘A’ knights in their own 2 horse wide body carriage. So it was that the ‘A’ knights who rode the ‘A’ wide body carriage went to ride the ‘A’ 2 horse narrow carriage. Despite this hardly a whimper was heard from the ‘A’ knights as they knew that it was something they had agreed to.

Meanwhile, due to rapid expansion of flying within the kingdom, many of those of a lesser rank got to become hallowed ‘Q’ knights on both the ‘Q’ 2 horse wide body carriage AND a little later the ‘A’ 2 horse narrow carriage. Needless to say the ‘Q’ knights were very happy with the agreement, as it was working in their distinct favour.

But alas many years later a brand new two horse wide body carriage was purchased, as per the agreement the riding was to be done by both ‘Q’ knights and ‘A’ knights. Even though the number of ‘A’ knights to ride this new machine was less than half those of ‘Q’ knights, the ‘Q’ knights were not happy.

Riding to far flung lands was different to riding within the kingdom, there are challenges aplenty, and it is very difficult. ‘A’ knights surely could not do this sort of riding, it was previously thought that only ‘Q’ knights possessed such skills. Amazingly it transpired that many ‘A’ knights proved to be quite capable of riding to these far flung lands. Of course, stories were spread far and wide of terrible deeds being committed by the ‘A’ knights, strangely, these stories went very quiet when a ‘Q’ knight almost rode into the ground in ye olde land of Shanghai.

The ‘Q’ knights were bitter and irrational. For example, the amount of silver paid was based on a system that the ‘A’ knights used, and it was considerably more than the ‘Q’ knights were used to. But, unbelievably, the ‘Q’ knights insisted that they all get paid less, because that is what they were used to. The ‘Q’ knights were also horrified by the prospect of sharing riding equally as the ‘A’ knights were used to doing. They insisted on a system that rewards only a few and breeds laziness and contempt, this system would also have the effect of relegating the ‘A’ knights to many years of substandard riding and lower wages.

It was not surprising that the ‘A’ knights asked for a fair go. They asked to be scattered amongst the ‘Q’ knights to ensure equality. The ‘Q’ knights were horrified, this was THEIR carriage (they seemingly forgot about the earlier agreement) and they didn’t want to share it with anyone!

Like spoilt children they cried and whinged, meanwhile many other bands of merry men were busy stealing much of the work previously done by the ‘Q’ knights. Those of the lesser ranks were mortified and screamed and yelled, but the head of ‘Q’ knights did not hear them, for he was busy pandering to the squealing from Lord Eric the Bat and others.

In the end the Kings Court decided in favour of the ‘A’ knights and the riding was shared in proportion to their numbers. The ‘Q’ knights cried for forty days and forty nights, and when they stopped crying they went to go riding, but found that all the riding had been stolen! Not by ‘A’ knights, but by others just as those of a lesser rank had foreseen.

Only then did the legendary ‘Q’ knights figure out a simple truth, the ‘A’ knights were not their enemy after all!!!!

tinpis
19th May 2005, 04:47
:{ What does it all mean?

longjohn
19th May 2005, 12:37
I was neither a victim nor a participant of 89' yet as a 'junior' (9000+hrs!!!) crewmember I am far more inclined to Speedy's version of events.

Whlst in my past life I could never understand why the 'A' listers sat by and watched as the 'q' list 767 pilots ate into their flying, equally I am astounded whilst a certain faction within the 'Q' list now complains about the very same agreement which facilitated their rapid rises.

Meanwhile, whilst this destructive argument rages the other 1400 odd Qantas pilots sit by and watch as Jetstar, Jetconnect, Australian, Atlas Air etc. covet what was once the domain of Qantas pilots.

Of course this is all being done to secure 'our' futures.

I can hardly wait until the day when the next rocket scientist CEO Qantas employs comes up with the retro idea 'consolidation'. In other words, we are now going to roll all of our brands into the one as we have figured that we have confused the hell out of Joe public and he now has no idea what company he is travelling on when he books from Rockhampton to Hong Kong via Singapore.

Of course all of us poor schmucks will then be told that seniority means squat and didn't you realise that 'Who flung dung' over there at Impulse/ sorry Jetstar has thousands of command hours and you are not 'experienced' enough to command an A330.

'Oh, but what about the Psych testing and all the best of the best bullshit we were told' we ask. 'That was the old way of thinking, if you want job security move aside sunshine'

By that stage of course all the current 'senior' pilots will have either pissed off or obtained an unassailable position. AIPA will be reticent to go against its own members (read Jetstar) and will adopt its usual useless stance.

But the good news is that Qantas pilots will be flying the A380. At least for as long as the current powers that be will be around.

After all, isn't that what really matters........

Funninly enough, name and address withheld for the very real fear of retribution.:yuk: :*

Eastwest Loco
20th May 2005, 12:17
That was very clever and insightful Al.

I really enjoyed it, but it needed a Knight that still wanted to fight after his arms and legs had been cut off.

Sad, but very effective.

I can't wait to see the ZFW problems on Jetscars first A380 - with 900 Firefly Bus passengers all climbing on to go to Diznyland. (Scotchguarded seats I hope, as uncontrolled salivation is mandatory). Cries of "geez this beer is pissweak, and waddyamean ya dont have Cougar ringing throughout the hull. You court rockapes, that is just what you get.

Best regards

EWL