View Full Version : French Fried

17th May 2005, 13:51
"They bake their bread in such a naughty shape;
They brag about their wine and worship the grape;
They criticise our food but then they eat crepe".

Following the local PPRuNe trend in bashing the French, have a look at this article. (http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/news/archives/world_news/2005/05/17/french_fried.html)

A Dutch minister one said: "France is a wonderful country, if it wasn't for the people that live there"...

At the other hand, doing business and going on holiday in France the last 30 years, I do notice a, albeit small, change in attitude the last coupla years.

17th May 2005, 14:00
Come to Canada, where they have votes about keeping French stuff......like Quebec.

Onan the Clumsy
17th May 2005, 14:04
Vien a Canada, ou ils ont avoir le voting a accepter les choses Francais........comme Quebec.

17th May 2005, 14:09

I've got something for you to translate........... http://evula.org/dragoon/pics/arse.jpg

17th May 2005, 14:11
doing business......in France the last 30 yearsI thought you were a pilot...????

Wow we really are out-numbered around here.

Anyway I'm alarmed by your pillow-****r description in your profile but I do like that you copied, after a fashion, my own licence description. Owing to a lack of any other sort, I guess. :rolleyes:

Any, ummm.... what was this about again?

Oh yeah, the French. What's wrong with them?

A great bunch of folk as a matter of fact, even if they don't measure up to your personal standards. I really like their cuisine: Croissants, wine, frogs legs.

Rowan Atkinson is a tool.

17th May 2005, 14:29
You know, in life, one meets all sorts of people, happy, lucky, hard working, angry etc. You get a flavour of human nature. From time to time, there comes along someone who just tips the balance into boorishness, provocation, rudeness, someone who's out of line. Here on JB, we've seen those people many times before. There was one called the Guvnor, well I'll leave that story for others. Anyways, I guess we'll be waving goodbye soon to the latest incarnation of the type. Adieu enfant perdu.

17th May 2005, 14:37
;) This from today's Telegraph.

I find it amusing and rather well written. A refreshing change from some of the Hobgoblinesque scribblings I have had the misfortune to read lately.

Allez les Bleus!!!

Europe unites in hatred of French
By Henry Samuel in Paris
(Filed: 17/05/2005)

Language, history, cooking and support for rival football teams still divide Europe. But when everything else fails, one glue binds the continent together: hatred of the French.

Typically, the French refuse to accept what arrogant, overbearing monsters they are.

But now after the publication of a survey of their neighbours' opinions of them at least they no longer have any excuse for not knowing how unpopular they are.

Why the French are the worst company on the planet, a wry take on France by two of its citizens, dredges up all the usual evidence against them. They are crazy drivers, strangers to customer service, obsessed by sex and food and devoid of a sense of humour.

But it doesn't stop there, boasting a breakdown, nation by nation, of what in the French irritates them.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Britons described them as "chauvinists, stubborn, nannied and humourless". However, the French may be more shocked by the views of other nations.

For the Germans, the French are "pretentious, offhand and frivolous". The Dutch describe them as "agitated, talkative and shallow." The Spanish see them as "cold, distant, vain and impolite" and the Portuguese as "preaching". In Italy they comes across as "snobs, arrogant, flesh-loving, righteous and self-obsessed" and the Greeks find them "not very with it, egocentric bons vivants".

Interestingly, the Swedes consider them "disobedient, immoral, disorganised, neo-colonialist and dirty".

But the knockout punch to French pride came in the way the poll was conducted. People were not asked what they hated in the French, just what they thought of them.

"Interviewees were simply asked an open question - what five adjectives sum up the French," said Olivier Clodong, one of the study's two authors and a professor of social and political communication at the Ecole Superieur de Commerce, in Paris. "The answers were overwhelmingly negative."

According to Mr Clodong, the old adage that France is wonderful, it's just the French who are the problem, is shared across Europe.

"We are admired for our trains, the Airbus and Michelin tyres. But the buck stops there," he said.

Another section of the study deals with how the French see the rest of Europe.

"Believe it or not, the English and the French use almost exactly the same adjectives to describe each other - bar the word 'insular'," Mr Coldong said. "So the feelings are mutual."

17th May 2005, 14:43
but I do like that you copied, after a fashion, my own licence description. Look at the date I registered and then look at yours. Troll Scrubby mate, troll on....

17th May 2005, 14:48
I guess that's what the UPDATE button is for hey?!?!!

I notice you didn't copy the Aircraft Type box, though.... :{

So what's with the pillow you-know-what reference?

And why the "Capt" title. Were you in the navy before??

17th May 2005, 14:57
I have got sometyhing new for you:

A recipee I have just found, as a starter to help you drink your "petit blanc sec".

Go to the nearest French food shop in your city (guess you have one!), and ask for "Cancoillote".

The garlic flavoured is the best.

Buy any of these long dry biscuits looking like fingers (Italian "gressini" are perfect). Any kind will be convenient, except that one which nearly saved the world from Dubya (it's to salty).

Open your Cancoillote pot, and compete with your friends: the winner is able to dip his biscuit into Cancoillote, then hold it in a vertical position turning and tilting the bisuit to allow this semi liquid cheese to wrap the biscuit without droping on the floor or making his fingers dirty.

Good luck!

17th May 2005, 15:08

Mes Braves,

This for those of you who are ignorant of some of the finer foodstuffs available in that paragon of countries.


Created 2,000 years ago, the cancoillote is the oldest and one of the most typical specialties of Franche-Comte, particularly of the Haute-Saone department. It has a pale creamy-yellow color, shiny and half liquidy texture.
Tip: Sold in a jar, it travels well and keeps well in the refrigerator. It can be served at room temperature spread on bread or warm, served with sausages and potatoes or eaten in the same way as "Fondue".


Oh dear, Oh dear. Did I not read the other day that the English were the only people who practised Schadenfreude upon themselves.:p

17th May 2005, 15:18
Thanks for the recipe Grandpere, it'll change my perception of the French entirely. Did Bernard Loiseau ever tasted Cancoillote?

Honni Soit Qui Mal Y Pense...

17th May 2005, 15:22



17th May 2005, 16:35
Scrubed = one ball

Anyway, what the hell is Scrubed, did he mean Scrubbed?

Onan the Clumsy
17th May 2005, 16:49
Created 2,000 years ago, the cancoillote... you mean the pot that you buy from the grocery store was created 2000 years ago :confused:

(or does it just taste like it? :} )

17th May 2005, 19:05
No! No! No!

Cancoillote is a cheap cheese for peasants, not something you can sell at high price in a plush restaurant.

At home, when this cheese became to old and stinking (you can imagine it took month after month to reach this state), my parents used it as glue for broken china, something between araldite and contact glue.

No! it's not used in Airbus!

17th May 2005, 19:10

There are those round here who believe he should be (scrubbed that is)

Wire brush and Dettol peut etre?

tony draper
17th May 2005, 19:24
Leave the French alone!, they are Mine!!!! I found em first.

17th May 2005, 19:41
People NEED the French!

17th May 2005, 21:29
Anyway, a country that invented camembert baguette and bordeaux can't be that bad.
Cancoillote, on the other hand...

17th May 2005, 22:24
French Fried. Hmm - top plan:ok:

Lon More
17th May 2005, 22:26
Kind of Jerricho to post scrubed's passport photo.

El lute
17th May 2005, 22:43
As for the food...
Yes, there may be more five star, five whatever restaurants in France than in the rest of the world but they are for the ?% of the people who can afford them.
For everyday food at a roadside restaurant give me Italy any time.

18th May 2005, 04:16
Eeerr... gentlemen, if I may, a bit silly question really, but as we have a couple of francophiles here, pray answer : what do french call 'french kissing' and why is it called 'french kissing' in the first place?:8
If the question has been 'done to death' before, my apologies.:O

West Coast
18th May 2005, 05:29
"Britons described them as "chauvinists, stubborn, nannied and humourless".

Now that's rich coming from Brits. Must hate competition.

"People NEED the French!"

If not, they would only pick on the Yanks.

18th May 2005, 06:18

I wouldn't want to choke you with too much erudition so here goes anyway.

French kiss , trans lit: Baiser Francais.

But since the English always called Syphilis the French disease and the French always called it the Italian sickness I suppose that the French may call this form of kissing: Baiser Italien.

But, if you can find a copy of Manchon's 'Le Slang' 1923, this might shed more light on the matter:

: FRENCH KISS - "a passionate open-mouth kiss with tongues caressing. This term has probably been in use since World War I, but became extremely popular with teenagers during the late 1930s." From "I Hear America Talking" by Stuart Berg Flexner (Von Nostrand Reinhold Co., New York, 1976).

: My bijoux turtle doves! Ze French Kissing is just ze snog avec ze tongue.

: C'n'est pas zat naughtiness of using ze mouth on ze perfumed places of pleasure! Zat is known as "Frenching" and it would be zat much more shocking to your delicate parents to say "I Frenched Louis" rather than "I french-kissed Louis". So take care, mes amies, I do not want ze angry fathers a rat-tat-tatting at my port.

: Au Revoir!


french kiss A full sexual mouth-to-mouth kiss with lips parted. Sometimes known as frenching, although this has had further connotaions of oral sex since the 19th century. Hence the US term for oral sex -- 'to speak in a foreign tongue.'
For some reason the word French is widely used in slang to suggest sexual meanings (see FRENCH LETTER). Hence the classic euphemism 'French lesson', to advertise services offered by a prostitute. 'French prints' is a now old-fashioned term for pornographic pictures, while to be 'Frenchified' was to have syphilis (Partridge). In the US too, gays have adopted 'French revolution' to mean the advent of Gay Liberation.
Fr4om _The Slanguage of Sex_ (1985) by Brigid McConville & John Shearlaw.
FYI, French culture stands for "oral sex of any kind," English culture for "bondage, domination and corporal punishment," and Greek culture for "anal sex."

In a helpful effort to aid your further studies of matters amatorious, you might want to get hold (!) of a copy of the following tome:

'The Complete History of Eroticism.'
Ove Brusendorff and Poul Henningsen.
Publisher: Castle.
ISBN: 0-89009-617-1

It is assuredly out of print but since you appear to have a healthy interest in the libidinous; I feel sure that perusal will improve your general knowledge thereof. It will certainly place French Literature in a new light.

Must wander off now. I can feel a zeugma coming on. The dawn has been spoiled by too much coffee and lust. All this research first thing in the morning is detrimental to the amatory nerve endings.

18th May 2005, 06:36
Leave the French alone!, they are Mine!!!! I found em first.

No Mr Draper, that was a monkey. You lot up north just thought it was a Frenchman.... :p

18th May 2005, 07:23
obsessed by sex and food

So what ?

tony draper
18th May 2005, 07:38
I understand the ladies like em because sometimes they confuse the two.

18th May 2005, 09:05
Personally, I never met a French person I didn't like, but I have to dislike them as a nation because I'm English. Its a cat and dog thing, you see.

I couldn't stand old 'Froggie' our French master, but he was English.
Mam'selle FiFi Dufour on the other hand...

She was only on exchange with us for six months but she taught a whole generation of snotty young Stocktonians to stand in awe of the French.
Literally :ooh:

18th May 2005, 09:45

One feels grateful and enlightened ! :O

Must admit, after reading ze naughty trivia, a cold shower and a strong black coffee were necessary.

Yet, the overwhelming need to put the theory to practice, the urge, is rather disruptive.:E

PS: The English culture was a bit of a shock:uhoh:

18th May 2005, 10:13
And then there's the Ozzy Kiss. Same as the French Kiss, but given dunnunda.. :cool:

18th May 2005, 10:17
So how do they do it in the Black Hole of Calcutta???

18th May 2005, 10:23
:D Calcutta in euphonic French means something like:
What a beautiful ****you have.
Hence: O' Calcutta!
The rest I leave to your well proven and vibrant imagination.:p

tony draper
18th May 2005, 10:24
Yer don't wanna know what a Jarrow kiss is then?

18th May 2005, 10:55
CC: the famous French Ode to the Bottom: "Oh, Quel Cu T'as"

18th May 2005, 14:43
:} The Kiss of Jarrow, the Ozzy Kiss - O' Calcutta !!! Calcutta !!!:\

Right, hmm, carry on ....

18th May 2005, 16:26
;) Does not the Ozzie kiss bear more than a passing resemblance to an Ozzletwizzle? Today perhaps better known as an uppardtwizzle. Perhaps quite extractingly exciting for the recipient.

Jarrow kiss.
Would that be something to do with Sigfrid and Benedict? The one died of the consumption the other of paralysis.
Sigfrid was brought to Benedict's cell in the Monastery at Wearmouth so that they might kiss for one last time before passing into the Vale of the Shadow. Hence perchance, the kiss of death?

Calcutta. Baisse mon cul=Bozzimacoo=Kiss my posterior. I think that the French 'cu' refers to a different part of the anatomy, usually, but not always, found in the female of the species. (Any idiomatic French speakers out there to clarify this please?)
But I notice that today 'cu' has come to mean cucumber in the English vernacular.
So---I might be a tad careful before using the word as an expression of praise when the company is of the same gender as that of The Calcutta Home Guard - de crainte de faire cui cui.:p

18th May 2005, 21:55
.....you make a confusion of "cul" and "con".

The main use of the first one is to sit on it.

Then a second meaning is "le cul"= ******* business, as in "histoires de cul" about who sleeps with whom....

If you refer to "con", you should never forget it comes from a latin word meaning rabbit (whose fur is so soft....) and this explain the confusion.

Things are not that simple, a second meaning for "con" is "stupid", and it's often accompanied by an adjective like in "petit con", "grand con", "pauvre con", "jeune con", vieux con", "gros con", "sale con".......

The best one is "Le roi des cons" and was chanted by Georges Brassens in one of his best song.

You may use also "connard" which is a kind of superlative involving all kinds of bestiality associated with dumbness...

tony draper
18th May 2005, 22:03
Hmmm, seems from watching newsnight tonight, your politicians are in a bit of a panic Grandpa, and are rushing about like headless chickens desperatly trying to get you folks to vote yes.
Frenchmen Do Your Duty! Vote NO!!!
get it right..............
................for once.

Twill also save us having to have a bloody referencum.

19th May 2005, 05:56
;) Thank you Grandpa for clearing up that little semantic problem.:)

19th May 2005, 08:31
I think we're in a cul-de-sac now...

19th May 2005, 08:35
Is that a privet road?..... :ouch:

19th May 2005, 20:49
.....what Asterix would have answered..........