View Full Version : AMS Security tales

12th May 2005, 06:38
:( God returned yesterday from a girlie coffee guzzle.
Seems that the husband of a friend of hers recently returned ex AMS to the same destination in the UK as did I the other day.
He has a medical condition which leads to a very, very swollen ankle area.
Security guard at AMs spotted this and having implied that the passenger perhaps had an explosive implant in his flesh, made him roll up his trouser leg and poked and prodded the inflamed area to the point where my wife's friend's husband was put to some discomfort. This violation was perpetrated in full view of other queueing passengers.
Now, I know that it's not the fault of Dutch, who are a lovely, kind, generous and humourous people. (POINTER!!!) But I do think that it is the fault of the Schiphol system. I'll have them next time around.:E

12th May 2005, 12:46
cavortingcheetah I can realy understand that you don't feel loved at a moment like that, and even the fact that the protruding officer is a nasty B*&^%rd, don't worry i get annoyed plenty of times at SPL when i do my commuting up and down to Scotland.

BUT: i would not allow somebody like those rentacops to even touch a sore ankle if i had one, unless they want a new career. Some times it seems that you island dwellers are a bit too polite :oh: to your surrounding, giving your self to much grieve since the iritation is still there but you just don't do anything about it except (rightously) complain after you are gone.

No pun intended CC, go get them !!!

Pointer :E

12th May 2005, 14:11

That sounds totally ridiculous. That is so out of character for the dutch security people that it's completely unbelievable. It would be a serious infringement on human rights ( torture they call it, and I believe TSA has the exclusive rights to it ). I use the AMS airport daily for work and frequently for leisure travel and I have never seen anything remotely to what you describe. Admit it man, You have some sort of beef with dutch people. You lie!!! Now, for one of your earlier posts about shaking your fist in the face of the security people. I dare you to try that with TSA! Advise to you, bring a large jar of K1 yelly, you'll need it where you're going to spend some time.

Now drop the subject already, security checks and alcohol checks are a fact of life. It is being done at all airports and granted at all airports there are some bad apples, but AMS is certainly not the worst place.

12th May 2005, 15:00
;) Heavens to Betsy. Where to start then. Please let me first apologise for having to write this in English.
Well, first of all: I have no ax to grind with the Dutch, even though Holland did afford William 11, Der Kaiser, sanctuary after WW1.
Secondly: The related incidents are true but I accept that xenohobes might dispute the facts.
Thirdly: I do not think that it was I who mentioned shaking the fist in the noses of the Dutch Police.
Fourthly: If what happened in AMS would have been an infringement on human rights, torture, I think was called, then would I be justified in referring to the Schiphol Security Forces as 'Die Ersazt Gestapo' from now on.
Fifthly: If I need a jar of KY jelly upon incarceration in a Dutch prison; it logically follows that Dutch prisons are rife with homosexual rapists, either in or out of uniform.
Sixthly. The excuse that AMS is not the worst place for passenger abuse sounds rather like a 'Nuremburg Defence' to me.
Pointer. Thank you. I hope that you will understand that I have to be a little rude to this fellow here who calls me a liar! But you know; I laugh like a Hyena because one day Die Ersazt Gestapo will get him, red handed, with no Vaseline! I hope you are enjoying your visits to Scotland. Next time through AMS I shall certainly be on my guard . The Hunt is Up. The Games' Afoot! .:

12th May 2005, 15:02
Once waited at AMS security point behind a passenger being searched. He was asked to remove his belt because it alarmed the sensors apparently. Then the (young) security officer once more searched before passing the sensors. This resulted in dropping the man's pantz because of lack of support, leaving him standing in his boxer short in front of 100's pairs of peeking eyes. The security guard went on like nothing happened and didn't even appologize. I kid you not.

Talking about security, can anyone explain why pax had to pass a security check inbound GTW-AMS recently? I thought it was only outbound? You don't want to wait another 2o mins after arrival? Of course no explanation or anouncement was given...

12th May 2005, 15:20
:) Capt. KAOS

Thank you for that. It's always pleasant to know that I did not imagine being goosed.:{
Hoc tibi est honori. cc

12th May 2005, 16:11

First of all, apologies, I guess we could both read a little bit better!!

William II ?? Funny you should mention him , I happen to live 500 yards from his residence but He died long before I was born and in any case I'm not sure why you bring him up ( could as wel bring up burgess or whatever holiday is still celebrated in Ireland called the orange celebration, where we must have fought a bad english guy:-) to bring up something completely unrelated!!!).

You are absolutely right, it was not you but mister ignition overide bringing up the "shaking fist" method, apologies.

If!!! the incident you describe was true!!!! then, yes you could call them gestapo ( I seriously doubt it happened) but I would not post on this forum but file a complaint with the dutch authorities, because it is torture and not allowed by law.

Once again, reading!!!, The K1 jelly was refered to TSA and prisons in the US, not dutch prisons where you get free pot and HBO:D and so prisoners do not have to abuse there fellow inmates

If you compare my defense of AMS to the Nuremberg trials, how would you call TSA and their defense.

Heavens to betsy????? respec ( Ali G. )


Lastly, I didn't think you were rude. I still think you are a liar

12th May 2005, 17:13
;)flyburg. No flies on the Dutch this evening.
The Kaiser was a particular hero of mine. He is so closely related to the Buckingham Palace mob here that they have spent years trying to make the public overlook the fact. Don't forget that The House of Windsor was invented by George V in 1915 so as not to appear too German in his ancestry at the time the English were fighting them.
The Queen's real name is Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg-Gotha.
I'll give you the Orange Order. An ultra-Protestant party in Ireland formed in 1795. But, also relates to the House of Orange-Nassau, the ancestors of William 111 of England, known colloquially as 'William of Orange.' So you see, by extension, the Dutch rule in England.

I guess you mean the guys at Guantanamo Bay when you refer to the TSA. Great bunch of fellows, making sure, as they are, that we all find out next time before we get destroyed in a holocauct of unfriendly fire. I was a bit of a fan of Pym Fortuyn's policies.

'Heavens to Betsy' = Untranslatable American expression really meaning something like 'Mein Gott in Himmel! Alles ist verdamnt'.

Next time such an incident happens I shall do my darndest to get into tronk. My wife will not let me smoke pot at home and I need the opportunity to polish up my Afrikaans. Can you send out for a take away whore?

But all this does deviate somewhat from the thread. I think that you ought to agree, on the basis of the statements of others gone before, that Ams is not particularily traveller friendly when it comes to the EG and their treatment of passengers. After all, if you call me a liar, then by extension, everyone else who claims to have had a rough ride at Schiphol is guilty of mendacity. No Nurnberg defence for us. We were not ordered to lie.
Regards anyway. cc. Oh yes, may I please take the liberty of complimenting you upon your English. It is excellent and that's not a lie either.

12th May 2005, 19:08
cavortingcheetah Dear old CC, don't get worked up by the dutch, some of them lack a sense of self reflection, eventhough; calling someone on Pprune a Liar is a bit out of place.

Still the case remains that you should have made a case; a misplaced attempt to uphold decorum and be gentle man like will make your life unbearable. Have a little more Monthy-pithon-itis, or the dutch will sail up the thames once more and give you a good old fashion bullocking.

I now know which class it was that i slept trough; it was history. Boy you men are blowing me away with this fact throwing contest.

Quit interesting side fact is that this threat keeps klinging on for life to the rumor and news, we haven't been banned to the celar YET by our Mod's. Good show!

Pointer :E

12th May 2005, 19:34
;) I think that we just have been.
Jolly unsporting. They ought to own up of they're guilty.:p

12th May 2005, 20:07
Ha ha ha yes i just noticed....

Pointer :E

CC, could you remove the seychelle part in "From" it makes me green with envy... :sad:

12th May 2005, 20:14
:p Damned Swamp Monsters at it again.
I've gone into hiding.
Hope this makes you feel better.

13th May 2005, 06:47
Maybe the guard was just a swell kinda guy.

........humourous people.

13th May 2005, 18:25
Dear CC,

The thread has finally been closed.

Few points of reflection:

Thanks for the compliment about my mastery of the english language ( although I fear, after a long week of flying and finally recovering with the right amount of alcohol it may just go down the shitter)

Off course calling you a liar was a bit of a exagerating with a wink!!!

I guess we will keep disagreeing about the security staff at AMS, I find them to be extremely profesional. I have not even come close to your experiences.

If what you say is true then, yes they are the gestapo, but that is not my experience.

TSA refered to the security people in the US ( sorry but can't remember wat the acronym stands for, I know that at one point the wanted to call them Airport Security Service but the abbreviation looked somewhat laughable on the back of their jackets).

Once again, Be happy about the treatment you get at AMS and compare it to the treatment you get in the O'll US of the A
( the guys that started the nuremberg trials) and I think you much prefer AMS!!


Lon More
14th May 2005, 00:25
There is a series on Dutch TV about Schiphol - rip-off of "Airport" - and the rent-a-cops and Marrechausee come over as very abrupt and quite rude on that. If that's how they perform when the camera is on them ....

14th May 2005, 05:41
:) I think that the bottom line would seem to be that there is room for improvement at AMS.;)
TSA= Transportion Security Administration.
It remains in the service of the American people!:rolleyes: