View Full Version : How to deal with BT

Darth Nigel
10th May 2005, 13:42
Over on Slashdot, there's much whinging at the moment because of various visiting Septics having trouble dealing with the vast bureaucracy that is BT. Something to do with Broadband, and ADSL, and tin-cans and wet-string. Imagine that.

But some kind soul posted the secret, and I (being another kind soul) decided to share it here:
When you arrange the engineer's visit, insist that the operator puts "CUSTOMER WILL SUPPLY BACON SANDWICH" on the call details.

I have used this trick twice now. First call of the morning (08:30) every time. One of the guys actually drove a 30 mile round trip back to HQ to pick up a spare part and come back to me, after being fed a bacon sandwich and promised more.

Seriously, you have to be aware than BT engineers get allocated a whole heap of calls for the day, then they get to choose which ones to do in which order. The ones they leave until later will probably get postponed as they run late.

Therefore you need to make your call the attractive one which the engineer picks first.

All BT engineers like bacon sandwiches. There are NO vegitarian BT engineers. You need calories and protein to climb telephone poles.

Next, the most important question when the engineer arrives is "Tea or coffee, milk and sugar?". Once you have your engineer, you want to keep him on your side. Your anger with the bureacracy of BT means nothing to him, if you get feisty he can just pretend he doesn't have the part and will have to come back tomorrow (ie. you get marked as troublesome and always get picked last each day).

Capn Notarious
10th May 2005, 15:23
Tis true treat visitors and engineers like yer best mates, pamper them.
Had a team of roofers. Loads of tea / coffee made, huge bacon sarnies every lunch time, cake biccies etc. It costs loads but the pay back can be the benefit.
The gaffer said that he did not want the job to end, on account of never having been treated so reasonably.
He said that one mean minded client only did one cup of tea a day and one biscuit amongst five!!!!!!!

10th May 2005, 17:26
Simple - don't allow them on to your property.

I took this approach with them 3 years ago and have never had a problem since. :p