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747FOCAL
10th May 2005, 05:48
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.

The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by QANTAS pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.


(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

sprocket
10th May 2005, 05:53
Nope: Never been posted here before.

747FOCAL
10th May 2005, 06:01
Now thats even funnier than what I posted. :p

Atlas Shrugged
10th May 2005, 06:56
http://gallery.elvado.de/albums/structure/USER-RELATED/misc/search%20engine%28ok%29/normal_search-button-for-dummies.jpg

lasernigel
10th May 2005, 06:59
WOT NO PORN LINK????

Gainesy
10th May 2005, 06:59
Anybody know the lighthouse joke?

Caslance
10th May 2005, 07:06
This has prolly been posted before"....AAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!! :mad:

"Prolly"!!!!

It's spelled "probably"..... P..R..O..B..A..B..L..Y...

Also these "true stories" are very very deeply unoriginal.


But apart from that, it's fine. :ok:

Parapunter
10th May 2005, 07:13
New stuff. Grrrreeeeeaaaaatttttt!:} Anyone wanna post the NTL complaint??

Caslance
10th May 2005, 07:25
I'm just waiting for him to give us the glad tidings that Mafeking has been relieved.....:E

eal401
10th May 2005, 07:32
Oh for God's sake.......

Duckbutt
10th May 2005, 07:33
What's that about Mafeking again?

MadsDad
10th May 2005, 08:15
Isn't today 'Groundhog Day'?

Or am I thinking of yesterday?

X-QUORK
10th May 2005, 10:15
Caslance,

Regarding the incorrect usage of prolly by the bone-idle as a replacement for the much longer and terribly difficult to spell probably, I found this:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=prolly&defid=612633

Regards

X-Q

Onan the Clumsy
10th May 2005, 12:20
Perhaps I could refer you to this (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=169054)

:*

Jerricho
10th May 2005, 14:41
What, no porn :rolleyes:

DVR6K
10th May 2005, 14:44
Very funny thread indeed.

Had this through the e-mail the other day, don't know if anyone has seen it before...

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.

The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by QANTAS pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.


(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Classics.

Jerricho
10th May 2005, 14:46
What is this, frickin Groundhog Day?

(With laser-beams)

Darth Nigel
10th May 2005, 14:47
OK Jerricho, just for you! (http://www.cartes.fsnet.co.uk/date/a1921.htm)

Just don't tell Flaps! :cool:

Jerricho
10th May 2005, 14:48
Roughly Date a Victorian or Edwardian Lady

I didn't know they liked it rough :E

DVR6K
10th May 2005, 14:50
Oh, by the way, I am thinking about training as a pilot but do not know whether to go for a modular or integrated course, can anyone advise?

Thanks.

Jerricho
10th May 2005, 14:53
Where's that picture of your man smashing his head through a computer screen

SmilingKnifed
10th May 2005, 15:22
It's about to taken at my desk:rolleyes: