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tubthumper
3rd May 2005, 10:29
What do you call a donkey with three legs?

Maxflyer
3rd May 2005, 10:33
What do you call a donkey with three legs?

A wonkey!

Konkordski
3rd May 2005, 10:35
Wonkey?


What do you call a Spanish donkey?

Oatey. ;)

tony draper
3rd May 2005, 10:39
For ten points ,who had a Donkey called Dapple?
:cool:

BlueDiamond
3rd May 2005, 10:45
Sancho.

Biggles Flies Undone
3rd May 2005, 10:52
Donkey Oatey - that is awful :D

Did you hear about the two Spanish Firefighters?

Hose A and Hose B..... :uhoh:

tubthumper
3rd May 2005, 10:55
How about a donkey with three legs and one eye?

tony draper
3rd May 2005, 10:56
In the olden days when I was a sprog trainers were called Sanchos.
:rolleyes:

lasernigel
3rd May 2005, 11:03
Muffin the Mule is a sexual act so I suppose Diddling the Donkey is as well??!!.

BlueDiamond
3rd May 2005, 11:05
What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer.

laff laff ... thud ... :rolleyes:

lexxity
3rd May 2005, 11:10
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and a gunshot wound?

Still no bloody-eye dear,

ha hahahahahahah


:p

Biggles Flies Undone
3rd May 2005, 11:12
How about the Spanish gay?

Never let a dago by.....

Buster Hyman
3rd May 2005, 11:15
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and a gunshot wound. A bandaged left ear, a vampire bite on the neck, tyre marks where the Kenworth ran over it, an arrow through its abdomen and a fungal disease?




Trevor.



:confused: Well, the rest were crap too!

Maxflyer
3rd May 2005, 11:19
What's blue and white and can't climb trees?
















A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

tubthumper
3rd May 2005, 12:21
What about the constipated flamenco dancer?








He couldn't pasodoble.


Now, what about the one eyed, three-legged donkey?

Solid Rust Twotter
3rd May 2005, 12:24
...Ee Aww, Ee Aww, 'e always calls me donkey!

Evening Star
3rd May 2005, 12:42
Now, what about the one eyed, three-legged donkey?

If it is the one where the eye has a twitch, that will be the Winky Wonky Donkey.

Matt Skrossa
3rd May 2005, 12:51
I just hope that any one eyed, three legged donkeys have their good eye on the side of the missing leg, otherwise as they wander around in ever-decreasing circles they would keep bumping into things.

p.s. Is a one-eyed donkey any relation of the one-eyed trouser snake?

p.p.s Is an aware donkey Astute??

p.p.ps. When lots of donkeys get together are they having an assignation???

p.p.p.p.s I'll shut up now!

BANANASBANANAS
3rd May 2005, 13:51
Whats pink, 6 inches long and full of arrows?











Custers last stand!

Well, this is JB.

yintsinmerite
3rd May 2005, 15:09
What do you call a fish with no eyes ?




FSH




What do you call a boxer with no ears ?



Anything you want - he can't hear you



I'll get me poncho:ok:

BlueDiamond
3rd May 2005, 15:16
What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

Biggles Flies Undone
3rd May 2005, 15:18
What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Taildragger55
3rd May 2005, 15:26
How about the Spanish gay?

Sancho Pansy?

BlueDiamond
3rd May 2005, 15:27
What do you call a woman tied up at a jetty??

Maud.

Well, you have to SAY it ... moored ... geddit ... ?

Jerricho
3rd May 2005, 15:36
Nice ass................

McAero
3rd May 2005, 16:32
What do you call a man with no arms, legs or body rolling amongst a pile of leaves?

Russell :zzz:

Jerricho
3rd May 2005, 16:38
What do you call a 6 foot man with blonde hair and a big dick?


Jerricho.

:E

airship
3rd May 2005, 16:50
What do you call a blonde bigfoot with 6 dicks?

McAero
3rd May 2005, 16:55
:p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :

IB4138
3rd May 2005, 17:00
Biggles you is undone!

You have actually used the names of at least two existing Spanish friends of mine in jest....there will be repercussions!:ouch:

Our local is known by the expat Brits as "The Two Firemen" as it is owned by the two Joses......known to all as Jose A and Jose B..two exceptionally nice gents.

In a field down the road are two donkeys...the male is called "Hote"....full name Donkey Hote.:ooh: The female is Doris.

Please show a little respect in future posts, my good man.:uhoh:

There are also two persons of undeterminable gender who frequent the bar...I suspect you have referred to them as well!:E

Do you have a camera secreted in our bar?:suspect:

Jerricho
3rd May 2005, 17:01
What do you call a blonde bigfoot with 6 dicks?

Onan?

airship
3rd May 2005, 17:08
You don't. You creep away silently. So as not to be the 7th dickless [email protected] ;)

Jerricho
3rd May 2005, 17:11
"You're not here for the hunting, are you"

:D :D :p :p :D :D

B Fraser
3rd May 2005, 17:16
What do you call a bloke with rabbits stuck up his @rse ?




Warren :}

airship
3rd May 2005, 17:25
What do you call a bloke with rabbits stuck up his @rse ? Watership? The tears must have been flooding down his face right after the first one...

acbus1
3rd May 2005, 17:50
Jees! Do you lot realise it costs me a penny a minute to download this [email protected]? :mad:

airship
3rd May 2005, 18:12
Well you shouldn't be reading donkey threads then, should you?! :E

Jerricho
3rd May 2005, 18:15
Told you before acbus...........get rid of the dial up mate ;)

Gouabafla
3rd May 2005, 18:17
What do you call a donkey?











Prime minister....






coat, hat, door///

McAero
3rd May 2005, 18:18
The days of the screeching modem are very limited indeed. Used to remind me of my top of the range Spectrum ZX when it was loading one of those really complex games....:p

lexxity
3rd May 2005, 18:39
Gouabafla


:p :p :p :p :p


What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?




Cliff


I thank you and goodnight....................

Helli-Gurl
3rd May 2005, 19:26
I call my boyfriend a donkey!

oops orr should that be arse/ass....


:O

Mac the Knife
3rd May 2005, 21:08
What did the bus conductor say to the man with three heads, no arms and one leg?

























'Ullo, ullo, ullo! You look an 'armless chap. 'Op on!

Oh my Gawd....

JustaFew
3rd May 2005, 22:06
What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in water?


Bob




What do you call a man with no arms or legs moving around in
water?



Clever Dick

Safeware
3rd May 2005, 22:21
What do you call a man wandering around with a lead and nothing else?









Douglas

sw

BlueDiamond
4th May 2005, 01:49
What do you call a woman who can juggle eight pints of beer?

Beatrix.

Blacksheep
4th May 2005, 03:12
A woman who can juggle eight pints of beer is called 'Wonderful'.

If she also knows the latest score she is 'Incredible'.

If she can hit the treble twenty nine times out of ten as well, then she's called June and she's the landlady at our local. ;)

Atlas Shrugged
4th May 2005, 04:23
How do you titilate an ocelot?

tubthumper
4th May 2005, 11:10
You oscillate its titalot.

But really, what's this got to do with donkeys?

tony draper
4th May 2005, 11:16
This is getting silly, I think we should move on to the next sketch.
:rolleyes:

tubthumper
4th May 2005, 11:38
Okay....

A horse walks into a bar....

B Fraser
4th May 2005, 12:40
...... and the horse sees the girl juggling the 8 pints of beer while clearing the pool table and sinking the black into the middle pocket.

"What's your name ?" says the horse







The girl replies










"Beatrix Potter"




I know..... hat....... coat...... door

tubthumper
4th May 2005, 12:52
Back to the donkeys.


What do you call a one-eyed, three-legged donkey with halitosis, who plays rag-time jazz piano in a bar in Nashville?

b.borg
4th May 2005, 12:54
;) Winky Wonky Honky Donk Yeehaaa !

tubthumper
4th May 2005, 13:37
Close enough. How about a stinky plinky-plonkey, honky-tonky winky wonkey donkey?





Any coats left?

Biggles Flies Undone
4th May 2005, 13:46
And what song does a parrot called Walter sing while he spends all his time drawing sketches on a writing pad?

nosefirsteverytime
4th May 2005, 15:11
What do you cal a man with a shovel in his head?

Doug.

What do you call the Dalai Llama's unwashed yet very efficient accountant?

A super frugal mystic hexed by halitosis.

Aeeeiiiiii Thannngeaaauuuuuu!

And for anyone who remembers Saturday Mornings........
(get out your meraccas!)

Da da Da-da Da!
Wonkey Donk-eeeeeeee
Da da da-da Da!
Wonkey Donk-eeeeeeee
Da da da-da Da!
Wonkey Donk-eeeeeeee
Da da da-da Da!
Bum ba dum bum!

Capn Notarious
4th May 2005, 15:22
Wanda

What you call a donkey that has its handler carry the pack?
Clever

BlueDiamond
4th May 2005, 15:26
And what song does a parrot called Walter sing while he spends all his time drawing sketches on a writing pad?
Well go on then ... tell us. :p

Biggles Flies Undone
4th May 2005, 15:57
Polly Wally Doodle All The Day of course! :p

SmilingKnifed
4th May 2005, 16:08
Will to live now fading:zzz:

Gouabafla
4th May 2005, 16:11
What do you call a donkey who organises boxing matches?




DonKing

Flypro
4th May 2005, 16:26
What do you call a donkey with a thing about windmills??






Donkey-oaty:ok:

scrubed
4th May 2005, 17:14
This is getting silly, I think we should move on to the next sketch. why.... is it getting really boring and totally pointless to you....
:rolleyes:

G-MANN
4th May 2005, 22:57
What do yo call a lazy goat????


































Billy Idol!! Boom Boom

What do you call a Goat on a raft?




Billy Ocean!

tony draper
4th May 2005, 23:04
Most of these jokes are to be found scrawled in red ochre on the cave walls at Lascaux (its in France)
Just thought one would inject a modicum of interlectual content to this thread.
:rolleyes:

acbus1
5th May 2005, 06:08
Can I have a go........

1+1 = 2

nosefirsteverytime
5th May 2005, 14:32
What do you call a man with a bowl of fruit on his head dancing around a sombrero saying "I aint gettin on no plane fool!"?

BA Maraccas

What do you call a man before Pontious Pilate who says "I ain't gettin' on no cross, fool!" and gets freed?

BA Barabbas

What do you call the other guy?

BA Miraculous


That was a jazz type joke (I.E. it was experimental and probably crap)

yeah, I know..........

tubthumper
6th May 2005, 10:00
i don't know, it takes me a month to get a few sensible comments about vortex wake from you people, but start a thread about donkey jokes.... :rolleyes:

McAero
6th May 2005, 10:06
Why do mice have small balls?














Because not many mice know how to dance! :E

I thank you

Solid Rust Twotter
6th May 2005, 10:10
Is there an echo in here......?

tony draper
6th May 2005, 10:30
One recals a few decades ago there was a sudden and inexplicable outbreak of Elephant jokes,the epidemic spead through the entire population like widfire mutated into the shark infested custard type 2 joke epidemic then dissapeared as swiftly as it came,most strange.
One theory was that it was carried on the tail of a passing Comet.
:cool:

NotamCheck
6th May 2005, 11:26
Donkey Joke....

Old man walking his donkey in middle of no where.

Car driver pulls up alongside "Can I help, you seem to be miles from anywhere?"

Old man, "Yes, can you give me a lift into the next town? I'm going to sell my donkey"

Driver says, "Sure, but I cannot take the donkey"

Old man, "No problem, the donkey knows the way he will follow and meet us there.

Driver pulls away and drives 5mph and the donkey follows the car. He changes gear and accelerates to 15mph, the donkey still keeps up trotting behind right behind the car.

The car driver wants to see how fast this donkey is so accelerates through the gears up to 30mph AND the donkey still keeps up. 40mph...50mph...donkey still there right in his rear view mirror - the car driver cannot believe it.

Several miles later the car reaches the Motorway..the driver goes for it and drives at 70mph and...you guess it the donkey is still keeping up.

Several minutes later the driver sees the donkeys ears suddenly flap over to the right, "Oh dear", says the driver to the old man, "I think you donkey may be in trouble, his ears have fallen over"

"That's OK", says the old man, "he is just about to overtake.

:O

BlueDiamond
6th May 2005, 12:15
Why do firefighters have bigger balls than policemen?

They sell more tickets.

tony draper
6th May 2005, 12:53
And the winner for the oldest joke of all time is............Madam BlueDiamond!!!!
:O