View Full Version : The return of the evergreen advanced cursing & cussing thread mk III

21st Apr 2005, 12:59
As ever, one rule - no proper real swearing you sack of moon faced butt-sponges.:cool:

21st Apr 2005, 13:00
I say! that was a bit harsh dear fellow!

21st Apr 2005, 13:03
Your best quality is that you are a lewd decomposing turkey brain who dances with the arrogant dog and the butt kissing worm.

Go suck on an stick you drippy puke snarfing camel lip who dances with the indecisive snotbox and the maggotous spaz.

You eat your own snot, you ugly cross-dressing alien who devours the filthy yeast infection and the snooty festering sputum bag from hell.

(courtesy of this (http://www.insult-o-matic.com) wonderful site).

21st Apr 2005, 13:06
Looks like you haven't opened your fortune cookie. It says you suck.

21st Apr 2005, 13:28

here's your fortune cookie. what does it say?

It seems to be blank.

21st Apr 2005, 14:24
the difference between having an open mind and an empty head seems to have escaped you.

Onans Girlfriend
21st Apr 2005, 14:33
You are all a bunch of narrow minded:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: and deserve to have your:mad: :mad: ripped from your:mad: :mad: :mad: then strung up, beaten and bull whipped to within an inch of your:mad: life.

Love you really:O

21st Apr 2005, 14:41
shouldn't that read 'bull whipped to within 2.54 centimetres of your :mad: life'? Not behind the times, are we?

Onans Girlfriend
21st Apr 2005, 14:45
:mad: go away.... I prefer things in inches. :E

21st Apr 2005, 14:49
as in
'feeling the warm wind in my hair and inches of open road in front of me'
is that it?

21st Apr 2005, 15:03
It offends me to the soul to hear a robustious periwig pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to very rags.

Why, thou clay brained guts, thou knotty pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow catch.


21st Apr 2005, 15:15
So, resorting to copying others' curses, are we? Too lazy even to link to the text? (http://www.web-books.com/Classics/Shakespeare/1HenryIV/1HenryIV2_6.htm)

There's no competing with Shakespeare, so I'll change tack and adapt an old saying to note that:

'Success has a thousand fathers, Michael Howard has none.'

21st Apr 2005, 15:24
Nor any successes, either.

21st Apr 2005, 15:25
um, that's the point.

21st Apr 2005, 15:28
Didn't know that link answer=42 , but thanks anyway, thou gleeking pox-marked scut!

21st Apr 2005, 15:33
so now its plagiarism, is it? You know, some of us can google to find out where you got that from. (http://www.homestead.com/barbooch/InsultKit.html)

21st Apr 2005, 16:00
Really, thou boorish contemptible male factor and a demented, scruffy-looking invidious invective from an impudent ignoramus. (couldnt find that one there, or could you? ;) )

21st Apr 2005, 16:14
invective from me there certainly is for those who use words out of context. here (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=boorish+contemptible+male+factor+&spell=1) is where you found at least part of your so-called cuss (more like half-cuss). (and by the way, I think you mean 'malefactor' and not 'male factor', which I do not deny I have in abundance).

Been thinking on an empty stomach again, have we?

Ric Capucho
21st Apr 2005, 16:22
One can hardly contain one's indifference.


21st Apr 2005, 16:23
well, let it all spill out then.

Irish Steve
21st Apr 2005, 16:28
I prefer things in inches.


should that read "inches in things"?:D :D

21st Apr 2005, 16:29
:zzz: :zzz: :zzz:

huh.... wot?

21st Apr 2005, 17:08
Just for you 42 ;)

You're so annoying that I just want to tear your ears off and shove 'em up your anus so that you can hear me kick your ass.

21st Apr 2005, 17:51
Your words roll off me like orange sauce off a duck's back.

Captain, I understand it's your age, but how can you sleep at a time like this?

Steve has just given us a timeless example of
craic , the justly famous traditional Irish repartee. Or perhaps a weak attempt at sexual innuendo, I forget which.

And Ric has this terrible incontinence problem. We must do something.

Capn Notarious
21st Apr 2005, 18:00
Pray do tell how many trees have had to be planted, so that photosynthesis may produce enough O2 to keep lungs content, you waste of space.

Thank goodness for recycling: will you please return as something useful.

21st Apr 2005, 18:09
oxygen is not equal to space.

or do you need subtitles for the hard of thinking?

21st Apr 2005, 18:33
Your words roll off me like orange sauce off a duck's back.

That's funny because you seem to have the intelligence and stench of one as well, feather brain ;)

(This is good fun)

21st Apr 2005, 18:41

I've seen ships give more room than you, you stubborn rubber doorstop thaat has been jammed into the bottom space!

I've seen seives hold it better than you.

There's some people who don't belong here. And even they don't want to be seen with you.

Can you do me a favour and return to the damp rotting log underside you came from?

Solid Rust Twotter
21st Apr 2005, 19:23
You dribbling sacks of scrofulous, putrid hamster nipples.

Why don't you all just run into a bandsaw, and if you survive, strangle yourselves with your own matter oozing, drippy green intestines, you autocoprophagous gaggle of maggot fondlers, you.

You're right! This is fun.....

Onans Girlfriend
21st Apr 2005, 19:58
Men in general,

suffer from libidinous neurotic ambivalence,
sublimated genital fantasies,
fixated heterosexual energies,
defensive infantile anxiety,
sublimated oedipal anxiety,
incestuous genital gratification,
unconscious heterosexual identification,
latent narcissistic sensations,
defensive masturbatory energies,
latent narcissistic anxiety.


simon brown
21st Apr 2005, 20:01
You lot are all so narrow minded , you could look through a keyhole with both eyes:ok:

21st Apr 2005, 20:08
or any brains you might have had dribbled down you mother's leg at conception.

My favourite nasty fate:

Dragged into Hades, pinioned by satyrs and [email protected] by a minotaur.

cessna l plate
21st Apr 2005, 20:23
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your rectal cavity

All of this has the humour capacity of a hole in a parachute!!

21st Apr 2005, 21:42
Your words, sir, are a canard.

Onan's GF,
'Generalisation is the mark of a slavish mind', as Oscar Wilde said. Or if he didn't, he should have.

Solid Rust Twotter
21st Apr 2005, 21:45
I blaspheme in your sister's moustache...:E

21st Apr 2005, 21:49
Sod off you lot.

21st Apr 2005, 21:54
Rollocks and oarlocks and may the curse of Cherie Blairs smile be upon you.May your bodies decompose and maggots eat you from inside out whilst still alive.

Solid Rust Twotter
21st Apr 2005, 22:01
May your rectum itch unbearably, and your fingers become fish hooks.

May you get into difficulties while swimming at the coast and may there be no one to come to your aid except your mother who is running hysterically along the beach........


21st Apr 2005, 22:19
How many of you grumpy bastards are now walking around with big grins on your heads???? I reckon this should be done more often ;)

tony draper
21st Apr 2005, 22:34
Is this the best you swivel eyed snot nosed slack jawed knuckle trailing corpse foricating bumpkins can do,eh? the days of the great insulter are long past, this generation of pisswilly noodle headed grunting cackhanded witless bedwetting spotty oafish cretins get all their material off the telly.
Yer berra not get me started.

21st Apr 2005, 23:00
All bar one grumpy bastard.

Solid Rust Twotter
21st Apr 2005, 23:04
Speak slowly.

I'm taking notes...

21st Apr 2005, 23:04
Ah, I have been expecting you, Mr. Draper. So you like our little thread?

Shall I explain to you our plan to conquer Jet Blast, yes? I think you will find it quite fiendishly clever.

And then you will be silenced. Ha ha ha.

No doubt you think you can out-insult us, do you Mr Draper? Please, allow me to introduce you to our state-of-the-art Global Insultrometer. Once armed, it can produce a ten Teracurse blast. Yes, enough to eliminate grumpy old men from half the western world!

Start the five minute warm-up phase!!

Blam blam

You half-scrotumed refugees from Equity minimum wage, you excuses for being late for your first masturbation. Catch him you imbeciles!

Atlas Shrugged
22nd Apr 2005, 00:38

22nd Apr 2005, 08:23
Your little thread 42? A pox on you sir & all who sail in you.:cool:

Vankem Spankfaart
22nd Apr 2005, 10:24
You have been warned (http://www.rathergood.com/swearotron.html)


Lon More
22nd Apr 2005, 13:14
You, whose mother wore army boots, may you fall through the outhouse floor just before an army of beer-drinking, prune-eating, laxative-chewing, constipated Cossacks arrive in town.

22nd Apr 2005, 13:34
Your mother has three tits and that's why you're so fat. ;)

22nd Apr 2005, 14:26
To Onan's Bird,

4 inches Much ado about nothing.

5 inches As you like it.

6 inches Mid summers night dream

7 inches The taming of the shrew,

Are you, perchance, a shrew.

Why do Irishmen wear 3 condoms,

To be sure,
To be sure,
To be sure,



tony draper
22nd Apr 2005, 15:02
Poguemahone :rolleyes:

22nd Apr 2005, 15:51
Heir Drapes,

That is a nice shirt you are wearing.

Does it come in mens?

tony draper
22nd Apr 2005, 16:53
Indeed Mr Tech, I seen those Canadan trousers with a bump sown on the front last time I was across.

22nd Apr 2005, 17:24
Hey Drapes,

Andre Previn's been on the phone. He wants his shirt back:E

22nd Apr 2005, 18:43
How's my posting?

Dial 1-800-KISSMYASS