View Full Version : British mannerisms

17th Apr 2005, 19:09
Why, in our society, is burping found to be disgusting? yet blowing the living daylights of out of ones nose into a horrible (already used) handkerchief is perfectly fine and not frowned upon?

Happened to me the other day.....was at a restaurant and couldn't control the burp. Madam Bouquet/Bucket over in the corner was a bit offended and whispered notions of "how rude" to her husband. A few minutes later, she proceeded to drain her trunk into a handkerchief (at a hundred miles an hour, with a noise intensity level equal to that of a pneumatic road digger) making the whole restaurant aware of it. So that wasn't disgusting??? :confused:

Silly society, with silly rules if you ask me. Blowing your nose is way more disgusting and unhygienic then a plain simple burp :sad:

17th Apr 2005, 19:15
Funny isn't it. In some countries, isn't a burp seen as a compliment to the chef?

As a further to the blowing of noses with a hanky, one thing that turns my stomach is when said person with hanky proceeds to wrap it around their finger, sticks it up their nose and starts having a good old dig around. And THEN sticks the hanky back in their pocket. :yuk: :yuk: No washing of hands or anything, just merrily carry on with what they were doing.

17th Apr 2005, 19:18
And where do you guys stand on farting noisily in public.

Sailor Vee
17th Apr 2005, 19:22
Normally leaning off to one side!:E :E

17th Apr 2005, 19:36
When we lived in rural West Africa, people would blow their noses by pressing against the side of one nostril and blowing a stream out of the other straight onto the ground. OK, we found this pretty unpleasant, but no where near as unpleasant as the local people found our habit of blowing into a hanky then putting the snot in our pocket and taking it home. What on earth do you want to keep it for?

17th Apr 2005, 19:47
An interesting, and valid point.

Since I moved to the UK I have been appalled by the sheer lack of mucous manners. People quite happily sneeze into their hands and wipe their noses with their wrists.

Eructation is relatively pleasant by comparison (especially when timed to punctuate a point), and as for flatulence, I guess you either ignore it or award it a score.


17th Apr 2005, 19:50
One grew up in the far east. I suppose you could call me dad a British colonial. He was a rubber planter. Anyway, I remember this long stretch of straight road between Telok Kemang and Port Dickson just before the yacht club where pop would be able to wind up the Holden a bit...then in common with the local custom, clear his throat accumulating a maximum of phlegm before spitting it out of the window. The sound of a great wad of spit hitting one's windscreen at a closing speed of 120mph + when on the receiving end, can only be imagined... :O

17th Apr 2005, 20:34
pressing against the side of one nostril and blowing a stream out of the other straight onto the ground

Called "The Bushman's hanky" :ok: Ok if you're in the middle of nowhere. While shopping in Harrods? Maybe not.

Onan the Clumsy
17th Apr 2005, 21:02
I eat mine, so there.


17th Apr 2005, 21:45
Hanky? Gosh, that's impressive!

tony draper
17th Apr 2005, 21:48
One used to always keep one hanky snot free for job interviews and such.

17th Apr 2005, 21:53
I eat mine, so there

You eat you hankies? That's disgusting.

17th Apr 2005, 22:19
aaaah, the memories of middle eastern mornings.....
"The hills are alive, with the sound of mucus....."

17th Apr 2005, 22:40
Well you will be glad to know that I've banished snot into Room 101 if you care to look at that thread.

The trouble is, what is one supposed to do with it? I've just had a cold and I had to get rid of it somehow. There is not a polite way of doing it. And what if it is into a hanky? At least the hanky goes in my trouser pocket and gives me a wet thigh, covering my loose change, not yours. Gotta be better than just letting it drip naturally into the environment where anyone can slip on it.

Actually, I've taken to doing the girly thing and carry a small pack of tissues. They don't deaden the sound but my thigh remains dry. True, it makes the waste paper bin a far less pleasant place but if you are rooting about in bins, you deserve to get coverd in snot. :yuk:

17th Apr 2005, 23:05
I have officialy allowed burping at all times, so off you go and belch away to your hearts content. (I do however intend to stop when this child of mine puts in an appearance)

17th Apr 2005, 23:47

Wasn't it 'Tiger' Tanaka who told James Bond in 'You only live twice' that it was outrageous to wipe one's nose whith a fine piece of silk, and put it back in his pocket?

When I started living in the Vaterland, disposable, girly packets of tissues became the norm. If you need more than a packet a day, it's God's way of telling you to stay home.

Still carry a handkerchief, though, in my top pocket. Useful if you encounter a crying lady.

if you're playing footy, there's no option, really. <honk>


18th Apr 2005, 00:10
Ever noticed how some people give their nose a thorough blowing into a handkerchief and then open it up to inspect the contents?:E
(If you haven't noticed, start watching!).

18th Apr 2005, 07:22
.....Bushman's hanky.....


It's fortunate that, after visiting Proon for a while, one becomes hardened to phlegm on a thread.

Solid Rust Twotter
18th Apr 2005, 07:58
Asked a tribesman in Mauritania why the robes they wear are black. I mean, black won't reflect heat as well as lighter colours and in 40 degC temperatures that can't be right. Not speaking English very well, he replied by grabbing the hem of his robe and blowing a chunk of semi congealed crud into it with a sound like two 727s mating.

Point made....:yuk:

Sailor Vee
18th Apr 2005, 08:14
At least the hanky goes in my trouser pocket and gives me a wet thigh, covering my loose change, not yours.

One problem there, BALIX, the loose change does become that of someone else, when you spend it!!:yuk:

Solid Rust Twotter
18th Apr 2005, 08:18
A problem I have with those tissue things is that people don't bother to control them, especially the fairer sex. You see them everywhere, lost or abandoned and cluttering up desks, the floor, on chairs, car seats and so on. Reckon that's an even better way of spreading the crud around than carrying it safely in your pocket in a hanky.:rolleyes:

18th Apr 2005, 08:37
I'm sure some JBers must have experienced this.

Many moons ago I crossed the Chinese border at Lo Wu (IE entering from Hong Kong) over the footbridge there -- no rail link during the Cold War!
All I had was the clothes I was dressed in and a
carrier bag with some fags, fruit, toothbrush etc. (It's a long
story as to why I was travelling light).
At immigration I saw an American couple being led away in
handcuffs, they were both crying. They'd been caught trying to
smuggle bibles in.
The first sign I saw was from something like 'the People's
Democratic Hygeine Committee of Shenzhen'. It said in Chinese
and English: 'Keep Social Morality -- No Spitting!' Underneath
the sign was a mountain (lake?) of phlegm....
Rule number seven on the next sign from the same folks was 'No
urinating or shitting at random.' I kid you not.

18th Apr 2005, 08:50
I remember the sign "No Squatting" many moons ago in China.

And I do know people who wonder why we use toilet paper instead of a bidet.

18th Apr 2005, 08:52
One problem there, BALIX, the loose change does become that of someone else, when you spend it!!

Well Sailor, I'm a Yorkshireman who lives in Scotland which basically means that my loose change remains MY loose change ;)

Sailor Vee
18th Apr 2005, 08:58
So, copper wire was invented by 2 Yorkshire-born, Jokistani-dwelling peeps fighting over a penny?:E

18th Apr 2005, 09:17
Sailor, I think copper wire was invented before that.

It's just that the two Northe country dwellers invented very, very, very thin copper wire.

Incipient Sinner
18th Apr 2005, 09:39
When one badgers in polite company, I believe it is correct etiquette to call it.

:uhoh: Unless you follow through, in which case you just waddle off!! :uhoh:

Piltdown Man
18th Apr 2005, 10:01
Bloke walks into a restaurant and loudly farts in front of couple waiting for table. Says the offended husband "How dare you fart in front of my wife!" Bloke replies "Sorry mate, I didn't realise it was her turn."