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Bio Kitten
15th Apr 2005, 01:10
Is telling children if they misbehave in public that they will get a smack or heaven forbid giving your child a swat on the bottom or a smack on the hand in public now a heinous crime?

I was in the supermarket the otherday (something I avoid where practical) with our twin hellions age 3 1/2.
One of said little beasties was throwing a paddy because she didnt want to sit in the trolley and was howling her little lungs out. Now I did what I would do at home and told her if she didnt stop creating a fuss that she would get a smack.
A middle aged woman heard me and gave me an earful and told me what said child needed was a cuddle...

I was too shocked to reply... but it started me thinking.

I remember the days before I was a parent, I used to hate parents who let their children run amock in public and just stand there and say "don't do that dear" in helpless fluttering tones, but do nothing.
Whats public opinion on smacking kids, am I behind the times and an awful parent? more to the point is this you must not punish children mind set the reason we have so much youth crime?
I'd rather smack my kids than see them in a police cell at 15.

Discussion please.

-Bio

Onan the Clumsy
15th Apr 2005, 01:12
Would you like to practice on me?

:}

Bio Kitten
15th Apr 2005, 01:50
Lol Onan

Sorry but I'm not that sort of girl, I think if you look in the classified section of your newspaper you might find someone to help you though.

Jerricho
15th Apr 2005, 01:55
A middle aged woman heard me and gave me an earful and told me what said child needed was a cuddle...

To which I hope your response was "**** off and mind your own business" :rolleyes:

Tree huggers believeing their own bullsh*t. When I was a kid I had my fair share of geting smacked if I deserved it (especially the time I threw mud all over the neighbour's house.Seemed like a good idea at the time). Where as now if a child is asked to do something/not to do something, throws themselves on the floor and starts having a wobbly you're supposed to pick him up, cuddle him and say "There, there. I'm sorry I asked you to do that. You won't have to do it". :mad:

XXTSGR
15th Apr 2005, 02:01
Bio, I'm with you 100%.

Children need discipline. They need - they like - to have boundaries against which they can kick. They need to have some method of knowing where those boundaries are. If they get cuddles (which they see as a reward) for crossing the boundaries, they are only encouraged to do so more. Furthermore, I am sure that your children are just as loved, supported and encouraged in good behaviour as my children (and those of almost everyone I know), they are secure in knowing they are loved and wanted etc. Therefore a smack, or the threat of same, doesn not so damage them that they will instantly turn into potential ASBO candidates. Growing up believing they can have anything they want just for demanding it, however, will turn them into such little monsters.

No. You are completely right.

(A) Reward good behaviour.

(B) In case of bad behaviour, threaten with punishment. If behaviour doesn't improve, impose that punishment. But ensure the punishment is appropriate.

That's the only way children learn.

Bio Kitten
15th Apr 2005, 02:08
Uhm no I went bright red, and looked like a stunned mullet....

Which is probably what you expect any tired stressed parent to do when they are accused of child abuse by a stranger in the middle of the supermarket.

In hind sight I'm glad I didnt reply if I had answered back like that she probably would have thought I did beat them.

ChrisVJ
15th Apr 2005, 02:48
We have 6 kids. Last time that happened to us we 'gave' the lady the three kids that were with us. Got them back about three minutes later and never another peep from her.

Our daughter, who always said "Don't shout at your kids like that," when we were yelling at the younger ones, yells twice as loud after about half an hour when she has them . Pay back!

16 blades
15th Apr 2005, 02:49
Shoud've smacked said stranger instead........

16B

Richo77
15th Apr 2005, 04:33
BK,

I agree heartily with both XXT and yourself. My little man is only 15 months old, but he knows when he gets told "NO" and then gets a firm smack on the hand, he is doing something he shouldnt be.

Usually it is something like playing with a powerpoint (safeties in place but cant change the positioning of them - not my house) or bashing the TV screen with one of his toys but it is for his own good.

It breaks ones heart to do it, especially when their little face crumples up and one of their best loved ones yells at them, but i dont honestly think it hurts.

If someone in public were to mention it to me, i would set one of the dogs on em!.

Good luck, it can be a trial (and how!). :)

Richo

Gainesy
15th Apr 2005, 07:31
Good for you Bio, kids sometimes need a little discipline. So do interfering old bats.

You should have snuck some hideously expensive stuff into her trolley then watch her face at the checkout.:E

CargoMatatu
15th Apr 2005, 07:46
Definitely agree. You were/are absolutely right.

As a child I was smacked and didn't turn out a sicko........ well, okay I did, but that wasn't related to the smacking!

My son grew up with appropriate punishment as and when it was required, and has turned out a decent member of society. Doesn't wear Burberry Ball-Cap or shell-suit pants!:ok:

Smack away to your heart's content. It works!

May the Matatu be with you.

Matatu Man:cool:

henry crun
15th Apr 2005, 08:13
Bio, been there, done that.
Don't change a thing.

Tell the interfering busybody to mind her own business.

flapsforty
15th Apr 2005, 08:54
BioK, for what it's worth.
Looking back I am completely happy with the smacks I applied to the kids when they were small. They have grown up into reasoably well behaved teenagers.
I do very much regret the times I let my own inability to deal with my rage and frustration at their maddening behaviour result in actually hitting them in anger.

Smack 'em but try not to hit them when they deserve it most. ;)
Those are the times when that busybody's cuddle actually would do the trick much better.

Onan the Clumsy
15th Apr 2005, 12:13
You should have snuck some hideously expensive stuff into her trolley Or a few packets of johhnies, some KY and some heammorhoid ointment? :}


Here's a solution that would have plesed everyone...you get to smack the kiddies and the old bat gives YOU a hug. See Everyone gets what they want :ok:

oh and btw, I saw the Supernanny where the mother asked the child to do something and it tossed her the bone and told her to eff off. Quite disturbing really, but then I remembered it's a TV show, so they searched for the craziest family and then probably egged them on before hand :yuk:



Ok, I don't have any children - one's enough in my house :8 but I agree with the smack 'em now or jail 'em later philosophy, AND I really think they do actually want it, or at least want boundaries. Plus I think it's a natural thing in the animal kingdom for a parent to nip at a cub. Having said that, though it does seem strange when you see someone hit a child in public. I have noticed black women seem to be particularly unabashed at this. They'll be in the checkout line reading a mag and out of nowhere POW!

I think they work in binary, with no shades of grey, but at least their children shut up.



Anyway good luck to you Bio, it's a difficult job. Now where did I put those classifieds? :cool:

VH-MLE
15th Apr 2005, 12:44
Dear Bio Kitten,

I was brought up with a reasonably high level of discipline as a kid and don't believe it did me any harm. I give my kids their fair share of smacks for misbehaving but am now trying to punish them in other ways these days if possible. I also try and give them their share of praise when I can too.

Raising kids is a difficult and frustrating exercise at times (well most of the time actually) but I wouldn't be without them.

A few tips:

(1) Always be consistent with your discipline;
(2) Always tell them (and show them) you love them; and most importantly;
(3) NEVER let them watch The Simpsons (like I did with my kids).

Cheers.

VH-MLE