View Full Version : Dear Technical Support

11th Apr 2005, 13:11
Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2,which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2004. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge.

These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources. These conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation.

Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called Mother-In-Law, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2004, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2004 it tends to delete all of your Money Files before uninstalling itself.

Please help!

Sounds like men alright. :rolleyes:

11th Apr 2005, 13:49
Bit elderly this one, isn't it? And more suited to Jet Blast?

11th Apr 2005, 13:50
Definitely a contender for "Top Ten Ppruner " funny section.

11th Apr 2005, 13:51
Bit elderly this one, isn't it? And more suited to Jet Blast

The joke, or Omaha ? ;)

11th Apr 2005, 14:20
The joke, or Omaha ?


11th Apr 2005, 15:01
I'm not as old as Miss Porous Knickers :rolleyes:

Biggles Flies Undone
11th Apr 2005, 15:04
:rolleyes: Here we go again....... :E

11th Apr 2005, 15:41
Never ending st_or_orr_rry, nana na nana na nanaa... ;)

11th Apr 2005, 15:45
Omaha, you have been here, under various usernames, longer than I have.
Which means that it can not have escaped your notice that we have a set of rules at the top of the forum.
One of them is 'do not attack people, attack their arguments'. As you well know.
A newbie making such an unprovoked and offensive remark about a fellow ppruner is one thing; for an old war horse* like yourself, it is quite another.
Please girl, cut out the juvenile [email protected] behaviour.

Had you done a search, you would also have found that this particular funny has been doing the rounds for years here on PPRuNe.

And you lot; stop egging her on! :p

*Old War Horse:This term originated in the mid-1600s for a military charger that had been through many battles. In the 1800s it began to be used for human veterans.

11th Apr 2005, 15:48
I remember the legendary Capt IF Snailtrails doing something very similar with a Flight sim twist. Very funny.

It's better to be of a certain age and to be thought of as much younger, than to be younger and thought of as much older. :hmm:

Oh all right. I deleted my last. :E

Just as well you did! :E

Biggles Flies Undone
11th Apr 2005, 16:08
an old war horse like yourself
Incoming! :hmm:

11th Apr 2005, 16:45
Definitely a contender for "Top Ten Ppruner " funny section.

I think you mean "Ten most repeated" section

11th Apr 2005, 17:53
Dear Loyal customer,

In relation to your query with your problems with wife 1.0. Your friends may advise you to return to DrinkingMates 4.2 but our technical support expert strongly advises against this.

We have come to realise that although wife 1.0 is a tricky program to run, with experience and installation of the correct programs to match this advanced program such as romantic holidays 2.5 and expensive jewellery 4.3 we feel that wife 1.0 can give your complete system an upgrade that will
without doubt make you wonder why you didn't have wife 1.0 installed sooner. As you mentioned, I do strongly advise against installing Mistress 2004 or even the later model Mistress 2005 as not only will upon detection wife 1.0 delete all of your Money Files before uninstalling itself but it can also irreparably damage all hardware systems and leave your mainframe obsolete.

In relation to your Audi TT hard drive may I advise you to purchase a Lamborghini Diablo hard drive instead, from experience we feel wife 1.0 performs extremely well with this.

I hope my professional advise has helped you and if you have any further queries please do not hesitate to ask.

Kind regards,

Technical Support Expert.

11th Apr 2005, 17:59

I think you mean "Ten most repeated" section

Very true. :ugh:

11th Apr 2005, 18:04
Hey Omaha,

Did you hear the one about the USS Enterprise commanding a lightouse to get out of it's way. Not many people have.

Limit State
11th Apr 2005, 18:04
I think you mean "Ten most repeated" section




11th Apr 2005, 18:06
But wait, wait. I heard this other one about this dude who once strapped a jet rocket to the roof of his car...........

11th Apr 2005, 18:51
...and then there was this FAA inspector what visited Santa... :*

11th Apr 2005, 19:02
...speaking of Santa and things winter, I found this great game where a yeti thing hits a penguin with a bat. I don't think anybody else would have seen it.

Limit State
11th Apr 2005, 19:41
I've just found these reeeeeallllllly funny tech log entrys.....

I'll just go and see if I can dig it out..... :E

Solid Rust Twotter
11th Apr 2005, 19:56
Slow night, folks?:E :rolleyes:

11th Apr 2005, 19:58
Whatever do you mean SRT?

It's only 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

If it wasn't raining, I would be outside scanning the skies for chemtrails.

11th Apr 2005, 20:18
Thread title was obvious....but wait..ooh no..lets look and we can post a 'yawn'...most jokes ARE old...if u've seen em before..click 'back' on ur PC - won't kil ya!

11th Apr 2005, 22:27
Are Porous Knickers the same as crotchless panties?

11th Apr 2005, 22:41
Not sure, although they can't be a bad thing especially when time is at a premium. :ok:

I guess it's better than sweaty knickers, frosty knickers or knickers in a twist. :D

11th Apr 2005, 22:50
Dear End User,

We no longer support legacy/obsolete systems/software. please upgrade.

Technical support

11th Apr 2005, 22:52

Reds and PP are talking about ladies knickers!!!!

Please..............feel free to continue.

11th Apr 2005, 22:54
OK Jerricho. Just this once and only because its my birthday.

Go and check out the Victoria's Secret website. It'll keep you occupied for hours.....

11th Apr 2005, 22:57
Reddo wants to send you another worthwhile link Jerr, but seeing how she doesnt want to put such stuff on JB, she'll do it by PM. :E

Solid Rust Twotter
11th Apr 2005, 23:00

May we assume your posts tomorrow will be unintelligible due to the sudden onset of blindness and the hair on your palms getting tangled in the keys?:E

11th Apr 2005, 23:03
err no, his hands will be far too busy to type, unless he's very flexible

11th Apr 2005, 23:15
I just hope for his sake the cramping eases. :D

It could end up being a case of Soggy knickers or jocks as the case may be. However, as Jezza's an ATCO I am sure he'll get his departures away before his arrivals. :E

12th Apr 2005, 00:34
...and only because its my birthday.
Happy birthday, ********* ... hope you received lots of goodies from said catalogue.

12th Apr 2005, 00:40
Stop it you guys........you're gonna make me blush.

(Still waiting for the link Reds ;) )

12th Apr 2005, 11:11
You're a good ol' Queensland boy, google Wicked Weasel. You'll love it. :E

12th Apr 2005, 11:36
blushing? the blood's definitely in the wrong place then or you have ahem..."unusual" anatomy.

Even if you are from Oz, that aint usual!

12th Apr 2005, 14:42
Go and check out the Victoria's Secret website. It'll keep you occupied for hours.....
...errrrr, is that supposed to be wrong ? :ooh:

12th Apr 2005, 15:45
Well I dunno ... not one of these sites has any Porous Knickers on their lists. So the question should be asked ... what does Omaha know that we don't. I think we should be told. ;)

Biggles Flies Undone
12th Apr 2005, 15:55
Should one be brave enough to Google those two words, the first hit concerns Orienteering, but the second hit sounds far more interesting.... :E

12th Apr 2005, 17:40
google Wicked Weasel. You'll love it.

Uh boy.

Right, I'll see you lot in a couple of hours then.

*Phone off the hook, curtains drawn.............*

(Hey look, they sell hats and towels)