View Full Version : In bed with the authorities

8th Apr 2005, 16:29
Barnet council have lost the plot.

New beds (2) delivered today, rather than just dump the old ones at the side of the road like every other bugger does round here thought I would enquire on council for chucking. Local tip has closed.

Me: Can you give me some advice on disposing of some old beds?
Council: Are you on benefits?
Me: No, why?
Council: Cos if you are it's free, if not that'll be 33.00 paid up front. Send us a cheque we wait until it clears then we can arrange a time!
Me: can't I pay on collection?
Council: No, it could be a few weeks and we don't want to waste our time if you can't afford it!
Me: But I can, honest.
Council: Well we've been done before.
Me: Why did you close the local tip then?
Council: Too much rubbish being dumped!
Me: Ah OK good bye.

This is Barnet council who, I believe, are the first in the country to impose a 1000 fine if we do not recycle correctly.

Have decided to get sledgehammer out and smash said beds into tiny pieces and put out with normal rubbish in wheely bins.

tony draper
8th Apr 2005, 16:38
Gonna take yer a while to break up a mattress with a sledgehammer.
One is no great fan of the local councill here but I will allow they are good like that, need a old three piece suite rid of, yer just pick up the phone and they are there next day free of charge, also a large council tip you can take stuff to free, if you have transport.
This of course does not stop some tossers just dumping stuff,but a large open backed waggon patrols the back lanes twice a week picking up such stuff.

8th Apr 2005, 16:46
You could try calling them up again with a new approach... :8

Me: Me old rich aunty just passed away. She was supposed to have been a rich old cow but there wasn't anything in her will. Anyway, we need someone to come round and collect her old bed. It's a little stinky and the mattress weighs half a ton. Can you help?

Council: We'll be round in 20 minutes sir. :O

8th Apr 2005, 17:26
Mr D, mattresses are being kept as really good, just the bed frames to SMASH to LITTLE BITSY PIECES.

I'm beginning to feel better already.

I could relate the farcical story of the wrong beds being delivered, unnecessary time off work, apathetic help desks.....

Just one of those days I guess!

Erwin Schroedinger
8th Apr 2005, 17:33
impose a 1000 fine if we do not recycle correctly.
How do they know if you're not recycling correctly? :confused:

8th Apr 2005, 17:34
I'm beginning to feel better already.

So did you call up the council about the heavy stinky mattress or did ya decide to have a look yerself then...?! :O

8th Apr 2005, 18:45
Erwin - believe it or not they will be checking the rubbish for recyclable stuff, you get done if you are caught trying to wheely bin recyclable stuff.

It's so bl00dy complicated you would not believe it, the recycling bin you have to use would be filled by my weekly Sunday newspaper buy - let alone the empty wine bottles, plastic packaging, junk mail and errrr old bed frames.....

Airship - WTF :confused:

8th Apr 2005, 19:37
How about a garden bonfire - or has that been banned in the years I've been away from UK - Still, you could always claim it was Nov 5th by your old calendar ;)

8th Apr 2005, 20:05
No wonder the once-beautiful British countryside is littered with burnt-out abandoned cars and dumped refridgerators. Where on earth do they get the numbnuts who come up with this sort of sh1te? Answers anyone?

8th Apr 2005, 20:07
I'd rather be in bed with a blonde ;)

8th Apr 2005, 20:14
ExSimGuy - have to ask.

What's with the red?

Preparing to duck and repel if already asked.

9th Apr 2005, 10:29
Just felt like being a bit different ;) - So I'm trying green this time :) (but I don't see any offers from any blondes :{ )

9th Apr 2005, 10:51
(but I don't see any offers from any blondes

Maybe there were a couple on here earlier, but they were colour blind, and missed your offer.
(Either that, or being blond, they didn't understand it, or don't know how to type a reply!)

If you really want to read about a barmy council, try this.

Teabags (http://www.guardian.co.uk/waste/story/0,12188,1384938,00.html)

9th Apr 2005, 13:59
or being blond, they didn't understand it, or don't know how to type a reply

Oi! I resemble that........but I don't think I'm the kinda blonde ESG is looking for (I think :confused: )

Erwin Schroedinger
9th Apr 2005, 15:43
.....believe it or not they will be checking the rubbish for recyclable stuff, you get done if you are caught trying to wheely bin recyclable stuff.
Thanks candoo. :ok:

We only get one recycling bag per collection, so when it's full we overflow into the normal rubbish. Bu**ered if we're going to fork out for Council Tax and then pay out again for extra sacks...........apart from which they only collect recycleable stuff if it's in the appropriate sack.

Wonder if that would be enough defence in court..........I'd love to drag it all out, win the case and sell my story to the papers for a fortune.

Though I can picture the Editor -- "We're not paying for that story! It's rubbish!"

9th Apr 2005, 16:03
My father used a kitchen knife and wirfe cutters to chop up his old mattress when my mom left him. He was an asshole anyway, did not have much time for me dad. Was a bit of a strange one he was. Anyway, without going into too much detail, it only took him about 2 hours, and it was all put into garbage bags. Job done.

Erwin Schroedinger
9th Apr 2005, 16:18
.....wirfe cutters.......


You sure it was just mattress in the bags?