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Tolsti
8th Apr 2005, 06:46
MURPHY goes into the confessional and says to his priest "I had an affair with a woman. . . almost." The priest says, "What do you mean, almost?" MURPHY says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped" The priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say 5 Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." MURPHY leaves the confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly runs over to him saying, "MURPHY!!! I saw that you didn't put any money in the poor box!" MURPHY replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in

Saintsman
8th Apr 2005, 07:08
Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank
you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said,
"That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
flock to. " The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most
beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the
most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world
and he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's
okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is
mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like
a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and
continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.
























The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story:
Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that you women never listen!