View Full Version : "Doors to manual and cross dress"

tom de luxe
4th Apr 2005, 16:47
...as per the orders of the captain of a particular BA flight last Friday upon arrival at LHR. :ok: (well it was April 1st of course, and you know who you are :) ).

The CSD chose to ignore the request though. As did all other FAs. Oh well...

4th Apr 2005, 18:18

In these days of group tree hugging, harassment laws, and alike, that could have been a very foolish thing to say. Why, that could have caused mental anguish to both crew and passengers, and left the guilty party open to all sorts of grievances.

(Guess who's just had to sit through a course on this recently :rolleyes: ).

4th Apr 2005, 18:28
J H Cricky Jerricho

Lighten up mate. I thought it was very funny. Gawd be with the days you could have a bit of a laugh in aviation, now everyone's going around like overtight, tight @rsed scardey cats with all this political correct nonsense.

Where has all the fun gone? :*

4th Apr 2005, 18:39
J H Cricky Jerricho

Hey look............I caught me an Omaha. Good bait this :E

While my reply was toungue in cheek (:p ), at work we are undergoing a "Harrassment workshop", supposedly highlighting what is and isn't deemed as inappropriate behaviour and language. And boy, oh boy, some clown sitting somewhere must be on drugs with some of the garbage being "workshopped"

There have been 2 English controllers who have done the same as me and ventured to The 'Peg. Now, it has been formally deemed the term "Brit" is an offensive term, and the 2 English guys shall not be referred to as such. Some desk driver somewhere heard these two called "The Brits" and deemed it was a derogatory term, and came up with some bullsh*t it had something to do with a taunt used during the war (which war, they just can't remember). One of the English guys (who is ex-RAF) at length pointed out what was decreed was a total fabrication and just how silly the whole thing was..........the decision still stands. :rolleyes: The silly thing.......the term "Limey" has been deemed acceptable.

4th Apr 2005, 21:49
Hey Jerricho,

In Oz, the term for a "Brit" is "whinging Pom". How does that go under your Equity & Diversity (as we call it ) rules.

4th Apr 2005, 22:28
You could always substitute "whinging pom" with "soap dodger" :D

Kaptin M
4th Apr 2005, 23:52
Was Aussiebastard acceptable, Jericho? :E

5th Apr 2005, 00:15
Just to be a real wet blanket, I'd expect the announcement mentioned in the first post to come from the CSD rather than the flight deck?
Anyone from BA care to enlighten us?

5th Apr 2005, 00:20
I used to make pre-paxboarding announcements to the whole BA crew on the PA with details of the flight time, altitude etc preceeded by the expression 'Boys & Girls.....' Rather unbelievably this caused certain cabin staff offence and I was gently warned off doing so.

Any wonder it then became a standard boring PC PA to all BA crew? And now the PA is almost completely surrendered to the most verbose cabin crew in airline history! They never get off the damn thing!

5th Apr 2005, 00:26
"Doors to manual and cross dress"

I thought they always did this...... I've flown BA! :E

Another announcement, from the cabin crew, after a particularly firm cross-wind arrival at Luton, during which many of the oxygen masks self deployed (non-BA this time):

"Any survivors, please expect to disembark on the left!" :}

5th Apr 2005, 00:30
This PC &^%$$

You are now a vertically challanged, circuferally excessive, visually unatrative of unknown parents


Say what we mean and get on with it!!!!!!

16 blades
5th Apr 2005, 00:43
Reminds me of the legendary tale of a (allegedly flame-haired antipodean, if stories are to believed) Tristar skipper who announced on the PA, on landing back at BZZ from MPA:

"Guys, welcome back to blighty; and for any WRAFs on board, you're now officially ugly again!"

I believe the post-event 'debrief' with his boss went along the lines of "Jolly fantastic jape, old boy, side splittingly funny. Now, have an E-cat!"

As always, details probably lost in the legend......


5th Apr 2005, 08:45
I believe so Kaptin.

Seem I have to alter my references to southern cousins from Septics. It did take them a while to work out what I was on about. :E

Windy Militant
5th Apr 2005, 09:13
You can confuse them even more by calling them "STILLS"* as in "you can tell me not to call them that, but they're STILL SEPTICS" :ok:

*Originally applied by the Mil mates to the Faulklanders.

5th Apr 2005, 09:47
Nice one Windy :ok:

tom de luxe
5th Apr 2005, 11:11
On BA, "Doors to automatic" (@ pushback) and "Doors to manual" (once parked) comes from the flight deck. Makes sense, too - upon arrival, the CSD is strapped in his/her seat and might not know whether the aircraft has actually reached parking position, or needs to avance another 15 ft or so once that tug obstructing the stand has been moved. Flight deck (usually) know.

5th Apr 2005, 12:09
Well the seat belt sign going off and the engines running down could also be a signal that the chocks are in, so it wouldn't be unsafe for a CSD to make the calls would it? That is how it was done in my last airline.

5th Apr 2005, 13:47
sorry tom it's the in-charge cabin crew member who calls doors to automatic on pushback providing there are no obstructions outside.

I prefer the fun on disembarking the passengers....

CC: Bye bye commit a crime.
PAX: Sorry dear?
CC: I said have a nice time!

CC: Bye now hope you get laid.
PAX: What?????
CC: I said enjoy your stay!

CC: (with full bar trolley with water and juices stacked on top alongside the pax seat) What would you like from the bar?
PAX: Do you have any water?
CC: Do you have eyes you lemon?
PAX: What did you say?
CC: I said, would you like ice and lemon??

tom de luxe
5th Apr 2005, 22:07
sorry tom it's the in-charge cabin crew member who calls doors to automatic on pushback providing there are no obstructions outside. Which is precisely why the announcement in question came from the flight deck - carelessly parked ground vehicle AKA tug had to be moved (not by much, but still).

Flying Lawyer
6th Apr 2005, 00:53
Rainboe And now the PA is almost completely surrendered to the most verbose cabin crew in airline history! They never get off the damn thing! BA CC probably do still hold that position, but they've got strong competition. eg Virgin CC aren't much better.
I think it's a great shame we hear virtually nothing from the flight crew these days, and virtually all announcements are now made by the senior cabin attendant.
There's definitely been a change. Is it because pilots think using the PA is a bore and can't be bothered or because they are told not to?
I particularly miss the days when either the Captain or F/O pointed out famous landmarks/sights. Someone said on a previous thread such announcements were now discouraged. If that is 'modern' company policy, I think it's a shame, but thankfully some pilots still do.

6th Apr 2005, 06:21
Yes on any flights where inflight entertainment is in operation it is discouraged as every time the PA is used it interrupts the film/music or whatever. (On Cathay they do PAs in about three different languages!). Unless otherwise stated the Flight Deck do a pre flight welcome PA with route and weather details and a top of descent farewell PA with arrival details. Otherwise only if there is a diversion etc. That is fairly common with most carriers these days.