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View Full Version : Onstar - anyone got it in their car.


Jerricho
4th Apr 2005, 01:16
We're being bombarded by GM here in the now thawing north about this Onstar system and how bloody great it is. Anyone got it in their car and what do they think of it.

(For those in Blighty, it's some all singing, all dancing saftey and security service for motor vehicles. Google tells you more)

pigboat
4th Apr 2005, 01:39
Not in my cheap Chrysler product.

By the way hazdude (www.avcanada.ca/forums2/viewtopic.php?t=6851) won something today. :E :D

Jerricho
4th Apr 2005, 01:42
(Hijacking my own thread)

If you've seen the staff at my local Tim's, it would either mean jail time or.........*shudder*

pigboat
4th Apr 2005, 02:41
Know what ya mean. It's either jailbait or grab-a-granny. :ooh:

Jerricho
4th Apr 2005, 02:57
Right, so this Onstar malarkey.............can I order coffee through it? A pizza?

Onan the Clumsy
4th Apr 2005, 03:35
Nah it's the new way of selling cars. Forget profit on the sale, that hasn't been a factor for many a year now, the profit has all been in parts and service. Now there's a third leg and that's services.

The new model is to break even on the unit sale, but then succor the purchaser into monthly service contracts like Onstrar and sattelite radio etc. The car becomes a vehicle (pun not intended) for the basis of a thirty dollar a month habit.

I'd never have it becauese i don;t want to feature on one of those cheesy adverts.

can;t type properly - too mucha alcohol

Jerricho
4th Apr 2005, 03:44
those cheesy adverts.

That's what prompted me to start this thread. Especially those ads with all the kids saying "If you love me, you would buy a car with Onstar. If you don't you're a negligent parent". :rolleyes:

Stupid thing is, I'm sure there are people out there who believe them. Ohmigod, I'm threatening my children's lives by driving a vehicle without it. However did I make it to my age without it. My parents musn't have loved me..............:yuk:

Loose rivets
4th Apr 2005, 05:27
Yea....t'sgreat. Get lonely and you just press a button on yer rear view mirror and the sun goes down.,,,,,,or is it up? Dunno, but a nice purring voice offers to come and rescue you from the wilderness.........or indeed, will open your door if you are pissed enough to leave the keys in the ignition and lock the door. (haven't figured out how to press the button if yer locked out!!)

Soon the 17 pages of diagnostics (see Cadillac forum) will interface to the GPS and a robot will jump out of the trunk, level yer suspension and oil one of yer 32 valves if it's sticky.

You see I know all these things thanks to a nice man outside Oilcan Harry's lube service.

"Shunny, you can let all the water our of that Northstar engin......and then drive all the way across the Gobi desert."

I looked under the cowboy hat. There were slits where his eyes should have been.

"Why on Earth would I want to do that?" I asked intently.

His Ma;bro fag thinness wobbled about under his leather vest (Waiscoat), he ignored the question.

"Shunny, you could let the oil out of that engine, and still drive it home."

I took pity on him and reigned in my sarcasm.

"How do you know where I live?" I asked. Well, it was a compromise...I'd taken a liking to him by now.

He had got my measure and started to laugh...well, more started to cough.

"You Brits, you wouldn't know a good veh-heeeicle if you......"

I stood back from the carbon and lung debris, and left to drive my car forward for Harry to oil. He tightened the pan (sump plug) to 120 ft lbs where 15 should have done it...put hard water into the most critical cooling system on Earth and slapped an inspection sticker on the window. (MOT)....... $25 the lot and 15 mins. wait. Well, you do require operational wipers, but there is actually no requirement for a windshield.!!

Getting back to onboard telemetry, even the failure of a diode in the power-steering telemetry will present itself on the display as a code.

It's a sobering thought, but this 300HP exercise in sheet metal, will cost me less to run than my Honda which is parked outside my daughter's house back home. It turns out exactly the same gas milage (33 / IMP gal) the only difference is that the Honda will not move.

Oh pashaaw! I'm sobering up...........off to top up the vino and get set for another mindless ramble

Dylsexlic
4th Apr 2005, 12:05
Volvo offer the same service in Europe called "Volvo On Call". Go to http://www.volvocars.co.uk/VolvoOwnership/OnCall/

If you're one of those people who speed along country lanes at night and then crash off the road down a steep embankment where nobody knows you're there even in broad daylight and you're unconscious, and the car is a mess with no electrical power 'cos the battery is mashed, the system will come to your rescue as it has ........ it's own power supply. wow.

ORAC
4th Apr 2005, 12:11
Gee, how did we ever live without it..... :rolleyes:

Onan the Clumsy
4th Apr 2005, 12:28
My parents musn't have loved me That's because all their love was used up on Plazbot :p


If you're one of those people who speed along country lanes at night and then crash off the road down a steep embankment where nobody knows you're there even in broad daylight and you're unconscious, and the car is a mess with no electrical power 'cos the battery is mashed, You still don't need Onstar though, because the odd looking old man will hear the noise as he's whiling away the evening, playing the banjo on the stoop of his ruined farmhouse. He'll come and rescue you and you'll wake up between the fetid sheets of his bed as he feeds you a strange tasting liquid. You'll hear a strange chuckling sound deep from his throat and in the distance: Wolves (losing 2-1 to Chelsea on the TV in the next room).

As Onstar is frantically and unsuccessfully dialing base, you'll be contemplating the strange scratches on the back of the bedroom door and you'll begin to feel the first traces of a deep dark foreboding.

Rushton
4th Apr 2005, 13:32
Volvo offer the same service in Europe called "Volvo On Call". If you're one of those people who speed along country lanes at night and then crash off the road down a steep embankment where nobody knows you're there even in broad daylight and you're unconscious, and the car is a mess with no electrical power 'cos the battery is mashed, the system will come to your rescue as it has ........ it's own power supply.

I think I would rather curl up and die rather than someone find me behind the wheel of a Volvo

Mostly Harmless
4th Apr 2005, 15:28
I like this add.

http://gavroche.org/pbfiw/bstar.mp3

Jerricho
4th Apr 2005, 17:11
the system will come to your rescue as it has ........ it's own power supply.

Ah ha!! I believe this On Star thing doesn't have it's own power. Thus, if you REALLY cared about your kiddies you would drive a Volvo. Or not have kids.








Oh yeah, I nearly forgot.

Onan http://jm.g.free.fr/smileys/smiley_abwz.gif

White Bear
4th Apr 2005, 19:57
On Star have few good points.
If you are lost, or in a strange town or city, you can get directions to your destination, they will even stay on line you to ensure you get there.

It also functions as a hands free phone, though the airtime is not cheap, and of course each car has a phone number so people can call you. (That might not be concidered a good thing).

Once again if in an area unknown to you, On Star can recommend local restaurants serving the type of food you prefer, and of course direct you there, or directions to petrol stations, dry cleaners, theaters etc,

Another nice feature is it will provide tracking to the police should your car be stolen.
Regards,
W.B.

Jerricho's Wife
4th Apr 2005, 20:06
Jerricho! How many times do I have to tell you to not play with guns.

Put that thing down and get inside now. You're being very rude to poor Onan.

airship
4th Apr 2005, 21:38
Does one absolutely have to buy a car to get some?

cyclicmicky
4th Apr 2005, 21:54
What happened to the RAC??
:8

NZLeardriver
5th Apr 2005, 00:35
I had Onstar in a rental in NY once. It was quite handy, we got directions several times and when the traffic backed up they gave us a new routing.
Kind of like ATC for a car but she didnt give me any speed restrictions or anything.

I wouldnt pay for it, or buy a car just because it had it. But I am happy to use it and found it convenient in a strange city.

Air-Geko
5th Apr 2005, 01:55
I was filming a corporate image video at a small insurance company in central Ohio around four years ago. The VP had recently been involved in an accident at a rural intersection where his brand new Buick and a minivan collided (90 degree hit) at speed. As he told it, between the impact (and the subsiquent impact of the airbag) he was knocked a bit silly for a while. When he regained his faculties, he heard a voice calling his name over and over. While his first thought was, "God?" it was someone from Onstar who had already notified the county Sheriff of the accident and suggested the sheriff call an ambulance since they weren't getting much of a response from the VP.

If I drove in a rural area I would consider getting onstar or a similar offering... but then again, I won't drive another GM vehicle if I can help it.

Air-Geko

reynoldsno1
5th Apr 2005, 03:49
Another nice feature is it will provide tracking to the police should your car be stolen
or tracking to "other agencies" even if your car hasn't been stolen... :hmm:

Ascend Charlie
5th Apr 2005, 06:06
I was with mate when he used it - went like this:




(pushes the button, pause, then voice emerges from the radio speakers)
Voice: Good morning, John, how can I help you?
John: Can you please give me directions to the nearest Popeye's restaurant?
V: Sure. I see you are travelling north on I 75. In about 2 miles you will see an exit number 20, take that one and turn right. You will then be on Peachtree Drive. Continue for 2 blocks, and Popeye's will be in a mall on your left. Would you like me to make a reservation? Oh, I see that they don't accept reservations.
J: Thanks for that.
V: Yrrr welcome. Can I do anything else for you? Theatre reservations? Flowers for your wife?

John mainly got the system so that when he goes to his cabin in moose country, he can get directions when he gets lost. (Yes, the phones do work up there.)

Jerricho
5th Apr 2005, 09:03
Does it recognise if you're pissed and you shouldn't be driving?


I can see it now, John sitting in the front seat trying to put the moves on the OnStar chicky.

"Hey, you sound really sexy. How about directions to your house?"