View Full Version : UK Election - Time for a PPrune Party?

The Real Slim Shady
3rd Apr 2005, 10:52
And I don't mean of the Bash variety.

In view of the outrage at the proposed rebanding of property in the UK to allow the Govt to squeeze more dosh from the taxpayer, and the swingeing 60% increase in the London congestion charge imposed by the Red Baron, lay out your nominations for the manifesto.

Power to the people!!!

Rupert S
3rd Apr 2005, 10:55
Can we see a party manifesto first?

3rd Apr 2005, 11:01
Don't be silly.

The Real Slim Shady
3rd Apr 2005, 11:24
We have to come up with a manifesto !!

Ok, I'll start.

Taxation: Income tax for football players, 'celebrities' and other assorted nobs increased to 95% on all earnings over 200,000 p.a. Tax mandatory if they were born in UK, hold UK citizenship, earned the money in UK, in fact just mandatory.

Tax for aircrew/ seamen set at a maximum of 520 p.a

Nurses/ Paramedics paid tax free. Doctors' income tax set at 1040 p.a. max.

Firemen / Police paid tax free.

Prison Officer's paid tax free.

Income tax rate set to 10% for first 50,000; 30% for 50 - 100K; 60% for 100 - 200; 95% on all 'earnings' over 200K.

Tax of 1% on all share dealings.

VAT set to a standard rate of 20%.

Taxes on alcohol / tobacco set to match EU average.

Corporation tax on financial service companies set at 50%.

Corporation tax for manufacturing companies reduced to 5%.

Tax on second homes of 50% of value p.a.

Tax on profit of sale of second home set at 75%.

Road Fund Tax abolished; tax on fuel increased to compensate.

Passenger tax abolished on domestic flights.

100% tax`relief on personal pension contributions, private medical insurance.

NHS: Cuts in administrative staff. Increased funding for clinical staff.

Dentists must be part of NHS.

Education: Funding for nursery education increased.
Funding for primary education increased.
Medical students / student teachers tuition fees paid by Govt subject to bonding agreement.

Over to you...

3rd Apr 2005, 13:07
Couple of points, can I have some extra help in my finances so I can spend some more time at home with Lexx jnr when he/she arrives? Can't afford to stop work all together, but would be happy to drop to 20hrs or so if government would help with nappy costs etc

Stamp duty when moving house, can that be got rid of, it is most unfair?

As airline ground staff do I qualify for the less tax bracket?

Otherwise lets get this part started:p

3rd Apr 2005, 13:49
Slim, may I ask your proposed tax for Air Traffic Controllers?

3rd Apr 2005, 13:59
Slim, do you work for 'Bungling Brown' as your figures would not add up either!

3rd Apr 2005, 14:05
Didn't somebody mention a Chav tax the other day?

3rd Apr 2005, 14:54
No taxes at all seems fair to me!!
In fact why don't we just have rebates, I have paid bloody tax for thirty one years, ergo I should have tax paid back with interest for the next thirty one years.
:E :E :8

3rd Apr 2005, 15:30
Taxes in the UK ...

How about a fixed (say, 10%) tax on everything - all earnings, spending, saving etc. No breaks, no exemtions. Easy to administer (get rid of 75% of IR staff). Make the percentage revenue neutral.

Advantages (?) - everyone pays taxes, even on social security, so everyone gets used to the idea of responsibility. Also, 10% of 100k is still an awful lot more than 10% of 10k.

Disadvantages - probably a bit radical for this country, though other countries have done this to a certain extent.

Capn Notarious
3rd Apr 2005, 15:46
If Pprune takes control. Could we have Mr Tony Draper as Home Secretary. Local Policeman to hooligan.
"You don't want to be law abiding."

The Real Slim Shady
3rd Apr 2005, 16:29

Those are only 'proposals' not firm, set in concrete, immutable plans.

ATC controllers...same deal. Same for military. If you provide a service which brings taxable revenue in to the country you should pay less tax as an encouragement.

Check the share tax Duck; 1% of all dealings is a shed load of money.

3rd Apr 2005, 17:16
[Last edited by one ball on 3rd April 2005 at 17:47]

Hahahahah!!!! I think that is commonly known as "Pissing in my own pocket". Is my face red? :uhoh:

3rd Apr 2005, 17:22
Looks like I owe you $5 Onan. You were right.

3rd Apr 2005, 17:53
Rumours going around that Tony's planning to try to tax expats. That'll get the expat vote going against him

BUT - half of us don't have a vote as we're not "resident" (excepting rich left-seat-SOBs, who have a second home in UK - as well as Spain and the Maldives)

I like the American plan of "no taxation without representation" (although I believe Green-Carders pay taxes but get no vote!)

Anyway - let Tony try to find me and get the money out of me! I already paid for enough miles of M25 in the 70's;)

16 blades
3rd Apr 2005, 21:10

Anyone paid by the public purse becomes exempt from income tax and NI. Salaries abated to remain cost-neutral to treasury. Savings made by sacking 1/4 of IR staff, since they no longer have any persecution to do.

25% flat rate for all earners not paid from public funds.

1000% annual tax on caravans (based on their value) if used as a residence. All residential caravans placed in highest band of council tax. Non-payment results in confiscation and destruction.

100% VAT on Burberry clothing & accessories. Also tracksuits, shellsuits, trainers, 'bling' jewelry and baseball caps.


Unemployment Benefit payable for maximum 24 months. Then reverts to Subsistence Benefit paid in food & clothing vouchers.

All those on Unemployment Benefit or Subsistence Benefit made to work 3 days per week cleaning streets, collecting refuse, removing graffitti from walls, etc, normally on their own council estate. Other tasks benefitting their local community could also qualify. Payment of benefits dependant upon attendance. Huge savings made by removing the requirement for Refuse collectors and street cleaners, etc.

Claimants for Disablility Benefits must produce tangible, medical evidence of a PHYSICAL disability to qualify. Burden of proof is on claimant.

ALL benefits only payable to claimants who can provide a fixed address. Caravans / converted buses & coaches / VW campers do not qualify.


Armed Forces to receive funding commensurate with commitments.

Police and Armed forces to be protected from the march of political correctness, allowing them to do their jobs unhindered.

Trespass to be made a criminal offence, allowing Pikeys to be evicted from illegal encampments with the full force of the law.

Courts not permitted to take account of an individual's financial or social circumstances before passing sentence, ensuring that the law is applied EQUALLY to ALL people, regardless of claims of 'disadvantage' or 'oppression'.

Human Rights Act to be scrapped. Replaced by 'Human Responsibilities Act'.


Strict quotas on immigration, based on needs of UK economy. Points sytem implemented.

Strict quotas on asylum seekers. Granting of asylum requires tangible evidence of torture or oppression - burden of proof to be on applicant. Only 1 judicial appeal of decision to be permitted. Immediate removal of failed applicants. Those who enter country illegally or destroy identity documents en-route to be denied right to apply for asylum and face immediate deportation.

TA and other reserve forces to be employed on founding role - defence of the homeland. Border and port defence. Attempted illegal entrants to be shot on sight.

Withdrawal from outdated UN conventions on refugees.


Immediate withdrawal from EU. Membership to be replaced with trade agreements.

Written constitution to guarantee sovereignty of UK parliament, with Monarch as head of state. Constitution to lay down basic rights and responsibilities of UK citizens, to include the right to free speech, and freedom of thought and conscience. Constitution can only be amended by 75% majority vote at referendum.

That'll do for a start!!!

And now for the vote bribes:

100% tax relief for all aircrew, 'cos we're so great.

PPruNe bashes to attract generous Govt grants for free booze, food and accomodation.

Oral sex to become a legal right for married men.



3rd Apr 2005, 22:48
Personally i think a Military Coup would be better....

3rd Apr 2005, 23:19
Strict quotas on immigration, based on needs of UK economy

All them Aussies do wonders for the beer industry :ok:

4th Apr 2005, 00:48
16 B - that'll get my vote, just need to add in something about immediate destruction of caravans (and associated Transit van) being lived in while parked in a laybye or scenic car park.

And super tax for footballers, chairmen of big companies who f*ck up so get 6m pay offs etc etc. Anyone earning over 200k a year deserves to pay a bit more tax on the rest


4th Apr 2005, 11:57
Treasury to introduce a 99p coin.

4th Apr 2005, 12:45
Just when you think there might be another chance for a party other than the Labour party,along comes this report (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/4406575.stm).
Now remind me again at this next election are we on postal or ballot box voting.:mad: :mad:

4th Apr 2005, 16:22
PPrune Government to subsidise Newcastle Brown Ale
What a result!!

4th Apr 2005, 16:55
Transport; ban all lorry traffic between 9 am 9 pm and all weekend. Definition of lorry to include caravans. Vehicle excise duty on caravans to be introduced at the same rate as articulated lorries.

Grant incentives to re-open all disused and mothballed airfields to create an effective low-cost regional air transport infrastructure to be paid for out of caravan tax (see above)

Speed limit to be abolished on all motorways and dual carriageways.

Education: Teachers to wear gowns and be able to birch-senseless troublemakers and their parents. Abolish the never-fail system of education.

Law & Order Capital punishment to be reintroduced for killers and sex offenders and people sending e-mail spam. Police to be encourage to force joy-riders and car thieves to crash and burn so they cannot grow up to be bigger scumbags. Property owners to have the right to dish out whatever retribution they see fit against trespassers, including death.

Taxation and Spending: Tax rates to be regressive, the more you earn the less tax you pay thus encouraging the idle to get of the backside and earn more money. The welfare state to be abolished; if you cannot be bothered to look after yourself why should everyone else pay for it. All religious and quasi religious organisations, churches and groups to be taxed on the value of their assets worldwide at a fixed 25% per annum.

Armed Forces: These would be a good idea and will be funded from the 25% Church tax. If we can force religion out of business there will be fewer wars and so less need for Armed Forces.

Vote Ludwig

4th Apr 2005, 17:04
PPrune Government to subsidise Newcastle Brown Ale

Suppression of the masses then?