View Full Version : Basketball ...why?

Onan the Clumsy
29th Mar 2005, 03:43
What's the fascination with this so called sport?

So some monstrously overgrown men run down the court in ridiculous baggy clothes bouncing a ball and then throw it through a hoop, only to have the other monstrously overgrown men bounce it back and throw it through the other hoop.

What riotous excitment it must be for the fans: "Oh a goal" or whatever it's called, "we haven't seen one of those for at least six seconds."

Don't worry, only another four hundred and eighty two to go and you'll be able to get into car and drive home, saying things like "Did you see that goal thingie...or what ever it's called?" only to hear your mate ask "Which one?" because there were about eight hundred of them and none of them looked any different from any of the others.

At least you managed to snag a souvenir pair of shorts. You could always use them for a swimming pool cover, or the mainsail for that luxury schooner you've been planning on building and why oh why is it considered a good when one of the monstously overgrown men get the ball through the hoop thing and get a goal, or whatever it's called? It's what they get paid monstrous amounts of money to do. In fact it's ALL THEY HAVE TO DO ALL DAY LONG. Apart from driving round in hideously expensive cars and staring doe like into the camera muttering some half formed sentence about one of the goals they scored earlier on but you can't tell which one, bacause THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.

You want to know what might make it just the teesiest bit interesting? Maybe if they MISSED one of those goal things that really is ALL THEY HAVE TO DO ALL DAY LONG, then they got fired! and had to go and live in some monstrously overgrown home for genetic freaks, and forced to look at film of a thousand goals or whatever they're called and they have to work out when each one took place, maybe all in one match and they have to put them in order and the only clues they have are the announcer saying "Well it's two thousand four hundred and eighty seven points to two thousand four hundred and eighty six, with one billionth of a second left to play", so everything you've suffered through for the last eight hours makes absolutely NOT ONE JOT of difference because it all comes down to the last particle of time and we get to see if the monstrously overgrown man can get the ball thing through the hoop thing like he does about nine million times EVERY DAY of his "Working existence".

So why DOES basketball exist?

29th Mar 2005, 04:29
Better than shooting each other.......

29th Mar 2005, 04:35
I thought was all about the build up to that amazingly intense moment when both sides have scored exactly the same three or four hundred of those goal thingies with just three seconds left on the clock and then a dwarfish six foot normal person gets hold of the ball and sends it all the way down the pitch or court or whatever its called in slow motion and scores a winner just as the clock reaches zero. Phew!

Then he gets to go home with the girl and give her what for for the rest of the night. While everyone else goes wild with excitement. Except the losers...

Is that the game you mean?

...or is that Ice Hockey? :confused:

29th Mar 2005, 04:45
I never used to be a fan until I came over here. But I admire some of the athleticism, especially when they can catch the ball mid-air, behind their heads and dunk it.

Come on Onan it beats the sedative of baseball and the absolute poof-fest of the NFL!

Solid Rust Twotter
29th Mar 2005, 04:58
Well, yer can't call it netball for boys. That title already belongs to soccer....


29th Mar 2005, 05:08
Why canīt they show womens beach volleyball instead.... :}

29th Mar 2005, 07:36
...or is that Ice Hockey?

Blacksheep - 'goal thingies' in ice hockey are almost as rare as in football nowadays. In fact, not a single goal has been scored in the NHL this season. Mind you, they are on strike...

I agree wholheartedly with Onan about basketball. I blame it all on Rap. Huge African Americans wearing basketball vests, talking bollocks very fast has, for some reason, become hugely popular amongst, well, middle class white kids in the USA. With mom and dad stumping up the cash for $500 'sneakers' (they are called PUMPS ferchrissake) and tickets for such phallically named teams as 'The Pistons', basketball stars are now the richest sportsmen on the planet.

This menas they are free to share their cocaine with the afore mentioned rap stars and so the cycle continues :sad:

29th Mar 2005, 08:19
Those who are ignorant and do not understand mock what they don’t know and therefore fear.


Onan the Clumsy
29th Mar 2005, 15:52
I'm afraid one of them might step on me by accident :ooh:

29th Mar 2005, 15:54
When I played basketball at school, I used to have a shirt that had "Don't pass me the ball, make me look good".

29th Mar 2005, 16:16
Ya'd have to take out special insurance to risk going on a basketball court with me. :O

29th Mar 2005, 16:18
Why's that? Can't handle balls?

29th Mar 2005, 16:43
You filthy devil you. ;)

It's because I trip everyone up well I used to at school anyway. :\

29th Mar 2005, 16:48
Filthy? Whatever do you mean.

I know quite a few ladies who have admitted they have problems handling balls. And scoring.

29th Mar 2005, 19:30
Well you could be playing a "sport" with ridiculous outfits where you swing a long stick at a tiny ball and try to get it into a gopher hole.



Or you could be playing soccer where the players wear uniforms almost as baggy as basketball and "fall" down anytime the ref looks in their direction to try to get themselves a penalty kick.



29th Mar 2005, 23:39
...and hairbands, and women's sunglasses, and ponytail's. Oh the fastpaced action! One goal per 90 minutes!

Huron Topp
29th Mar 2005, 23:39

the NBA isn't really basketball...its Uber-basketball.

However, if you can explain cricket to me, I'll explain basketball to you.

29th Mar 2005, 23:58
ESPN show it on the TV here virtually every morning.... I think they use it to make people change to another channel.

I remember watching the Harlem Globetrotters on TV as a kid, very athletic and quite amusing unlike the real thing.

But I supposse if it keeps a lot of very tall young men off the streets then it must have social contribution. Keeps muggings down I suppose.

30th Mar 2005, 01:12
One goal per ninety minutes Dockjoc?

You've never seen Middlesbrough play at home then... :sad:

30th Mar 2005, 01:56
I have no idea who that is but I assume that is quite a burn on them. Kudos! :E